If you and your ex broke up due to work commitments, here’s what you need to do to get her back:
1. Initially accept the break up and give her up to a week of space
The last thing a woman needs when she breaks up with a guy due to work commitments is for him to create drama (e.g. beg and plead with her to change her mind, promise her that he won’t interfere with her work if they can just stay together, accuse her of not loving him because she’s choosing her work over him) and make it more difficult for her to cope with the situation.
She may then become even more closed off and stubborn and possibly even say things like, “Look, I’m not happy about this either, but you’re just making everything harder than it needs to be. I think it’s better if we just stop interacting with each other altogether. It will just be easier for the both of us. So, please don’t text or call me anymore.”
This is why the best approach is for you to make this time easier for her, so that she actually thinks about you in a more positive way and misses you.
So, just accept the break up as gracefully as possible and then give her some space to let things settle down.
For example: You might say something along the lines of, “Hey, I understand that this is a difficult decision and it’s stressful for both of us. However, I want you to know that I accept that we’re broken up and I promise not to make things harder than they already are. We can just be friends now, okay?”
This will put her mind to rest and make her feel a surge of respect for you for being so emotionally mature about it.
From there, just give her a week of space where you don’t contact her at all and allow for her to begin missing you and possibly even regretting her decision to break up with you.
Then, after a week…
2. Contact her and create a relaxed, easy-going vibe between you and her
Once things have calmed down a bit, you can contact your ex and say something along the lines of, “Hey, I just wanted to see how it’s going?” without it coming across as an attempt to pressure her into changing her mind.
However, make sure that you don’t get sucked into feeling like a stranger around her now, just because you’re no longer a couple.
This means, you need to create a fun, easy-going vibe between you and her when talking to her, rather than suddenly being very polite, reserved, tense and unsure of yourself around her.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Using humor to ease the tension between you and her and making her laugh, smile and feel happy to be hearing from you again, rather than trying to get into intense, deep discussions about the relationship and how you can make it work between you regardless of her work commitments.
- Maintaining your confidence and emotional strength around her, regardless of how much you’ve missed her and how difficult it now is to be talking to her again knowing that your relationship is over.
- Being more emotionally masculine in the way you think, talk, behave and react when interacting with her, rather than giving her too much power over you (e.g. by being too nice, accepting everything she tells you).
- Believing in yourself and in your value to her, rather than feeling despondent and like you’ve lost your chances with her forever and turning her off as a result.
- Letting her see that even though you miss her and want her back, you’re busy getting on with your life without her (e.g. by talking about some of the things you’ve been up to since you and her last interacted), rather than sitting around feeling lost, desperate and stuck.
The more relaxed and happy she feels when interacting with you, the more respect and attraction she will feel for you.
She will then begin to wonder if breaking up with you due to work commitments was actually the best route for her to take.
When that happens, she naturally becomes open to interacting with you more and more, because she doesn’t want you out of her life completely.
From there, you need to…
3. Attract her in new ways over the phone or in person
Creating an easy-going vibe between you and your ex is only the first step to bringing down her guard and opening her up to the idea of getting back together again despite her work commitments and the best way to do that is to attract her in new and exciting ways.
Essentially what that means is that you can’t approach getting her back the same way you approached getting her to be your girl in the first place.
So, although being nice and sweet, buying her flowers and gifts, or taking her on romantic dates worked in attracting your ex before, for her to feel motivated to find a better solution for her work commitments so she can be with you as well, you need to do something different.
Here’s the thing…
Even though the main reason she gave you for breaking up has to do with work, the truth is, in most cases, when a woman is with a guy she considers to be the one for her, she’s going to fight tooth and nail to stay with him no matter what.
On the other hand, if there are certain aspects of his thinking, behavior and attitude that are turning her off in the relationship and then she also has commitments at work, she may use that as an excuse to end the relationship, without having to deal with him trying to talk her out of her decision.
So, it’s always a good idea to think of areas in your relationship with your ex that could use some improvement.
Then, when you interact with her on the phone and in person, you can begin attracting her in ways that she always wanted, but never told you.
By the way, if you’re unsure of what those areas might be, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you figure it out:
- Did you make your ex feel respect and attraction for you by being emotionally strong and maintaining your confidence around her regardless of how difficult she was being (e.g. she was being stubborn, throwing a tantrum, disrespecting you), or did you turn her off by being self-doubting and insecure?
- Did you make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman when she was with you, or did you treat her more like a friend or one of the guys?
- Did you make her laugh, smile and feel good in the relationship with you, or did you make things stressful or annoying for her (e.g. by being jealous and controlling, being too childish and immature)?
- Did you laugh at her (in a loving way) when she created fake drama, or did you become submissive and let her dominate you with her confident personality?
- Did you support her in her big dreams and goals in life, or did you patronize her a little bit for her ambitions?
Depending on your answers, you will have a better understanding of where you need to improve.
Then, when you interact with her and she notices that you’re attracting her in ways that she always wanted (e.g. you’re now the confident, self-assured man she dreamed of, you’re more supportive and loving, you make her feel like a feminine woman), she will naturally begin to doubt her decision to break up.
So focus on that.
The next thing you can do is to…
4. Build up the sexual tension
Chances are high that just because you and your girl are breaking up due to work commitments, you’re not going to stop talking to each other (over the phone) as well.
This gives you a chance to truly make her regret her decision to break up with you and start wanting you back.
How can you do that?
By building the sexual tension between you and her so much, that she can’t stop herself from wanting to release that tension with hugging, kissing and sex.
Of course, once she has sex with you again, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to walk away a second time from what you and her share.
So, make sure that every time you interact with her on a phone call, you’re flirting with her and making her laugh and smile, while at the same time, not trying to convince her to get back into a relationship with you.
Flirting makes a woman feel sexually attracted to you and the fact that you’re not desperately trying to convince her to get back together again creates a build up of desire from her side.
She starts to think things like, “I’m always thinking about him when I should be focusing on my work. After all, the main reason we broke up is because of that. Yet, I can’t stop missing him and wishing I could be in his arms again. Why can’t I stop feeling this way?”
That’s what you want.
Unfortunately though, a lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that flirting with an ex after breaking up due to work commitments is wrong.
For example: A guy might say, “I accepted her decision to break up. If I now start flirting with her, she will probably get angry with me and then she might decide that we can’t even be friends anymore. Then I will lose her for real. I don’t think I can do that. Besides, don’t I stand a better chance of getting her back when things at work settle down if I’ve been nice and supportive of her, rather than flirting with her?”
Yet, that’s not how it works.
If a guy acts like a nice, neutral friend to a woman, all she’s going to feel for him are nice, neutral, friendly feelings.
She’s almost certainly not going to want to meet up with him so that she can kiss him and have sex with him.
So, don’t be afraid to flirt with your ex and make her feel attracted to you again.
To get her back, you have to actively make her feel sexually attracted to you and flirting, laughing and smiling is the perfect way to build up the sexual tension between you and her.
5. Make her want you so bad that she goes out of her way to see you even though she’s busy with work
If you’ve successfully built up the sexual tension between you and your ex over the phone, she will probably be longing to at least see you again in person.
To increase those feelings in her you need to let her see that you’re happy and moving forward in your life without her.
For example: Imagine that you’ve been flirting with your ex over the phone and building up the sexual tension between you.
The needy desperate thing to do would be to say something like, “I can’t take this anymore! I miss you so much! Isn’t there any way you can make some time to see me?”
Unfortunately, saying something like that to your ex will probably just dampen the desire that has been building up inside of her and make her think something along the lines of, “Just when I thought things were different, he had to go ruin everything by being needy and emotionally wimpy.”
So, what should you do instead?
When you notice that the tension between you and her is really high, you need to say something along the lines of, “Okay, I guess I shouldn’t keep you from your work any longer. I know how busy you are. Besides, I’m meeting up with someone in 20 minutes and I don’t want to be late. We should do this again soon though, okay? I’ll call you sometime. Bye,” and then hang up the phone after she’s said her goodbyes to you too.
By saying something like that to you ex, you accomplish two very important things.
Firstly, you’re showing her that you’re not sitting around feeling lost and lonely without her.
Instead, you’re getting on with your life without her.
Yes, you do miss her and want her back, but you don’t need her to feel good about yourself, or to have fun in your life.
This automatically sparks her feelings for you, because you’re suddenly the kind of man that she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to.
Secondly, by saying something like that to her right after you’ve made her feel so attracted to you, she likely starts to feel jealous and begin thinking things like, “This isn’t at all what I was expecting. I thought he’d be feeling sad and depressed about our break up, but instead he’s happy and clearly already moving on. He’s not sitting around moping and missing me like I imagined he would be. Instead, he’s out having fun with someone else. Of course he doesn’t owe me anything since I’m the one who broke up with him, but I hate the idea of him being with another woman. It actually makes me feel sick to my stomach! I need to put a stop to this right now!”
She may then call you back and say something like, “Look, I know we’re broken up, but I really need to see you. Can we get together today or tomorrow?”
You can then play a bit hard to get and ask her, “Sure, but what about your work commitments?”
She will then likely say something along the lines of, “I don’t care about that. I just want to see you.”
You can then go ahead and arrange a suitable day and time.
Note: Just make sure that you don’t cancel your plans for her, because that will give her a false sense of power over you, or make her think you were only lying to her to make her want you back.
Then, when you meet up with her continue to build the tension between you and then release it with hugging, kissing and sex.
Sex gets rid of the uncertainty about how you feel about each other and opens the door to discussing working around her work commitments and giving the relationship another chance.
2 Mistakes That Can Slow the Ex Back Process Down
You can make your ex change her mind about breaking up with you.
However, you can also make her feel even more sure of her decision than she was before.
It all depends on whether you make the following mistakes with her or not.
1. Making the break up stressful and time consuming by having long text conversations with her
Regardless of how much a guy misses his ex and how difficult it is for him to accept breaking up due to work commitments, texting her all the time to stay on her mind and hopefully change her decision, is actually the worst thing he can do.
Not only is it stressful and annoying to her to have to constantly keep texting him back while still focusing on her work, it likely also makes her feel like he doesn’t respect how important her work is to her.
She then realizes that he’s not emotionally strong or mature enough to be the man that she needs.
So, rather than opening back up to him, she closes herself off even more and either blocks his number on her phone, or simply ignores him and tries to move on.
Here’s the thing …
The best way to make your ex change her mind about breaking up with you due to work commitments, is by reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
When she is feeling so attracted to you again, then the idea of losing you for real becomes unbearable to her.
She then feels motivated to find a solution to her work problems that allows her to still be your girl.
The next mistake is…
2. Promising to remain faithful and wait for her, even though she isn’t attracted anymore
Although you might want to sit around being a good boy who doesn’t go out, have sex or date other women while you wait for your ex’s work commitments to disappear, it doesn’t mean she will be doing the same for you.
In fact, she’s most likely going to move on if she meets a guy that she finds interesting and attractive.
After all, women want sex just as much as men do, most of the time.
She has to get her needs met and if she’s not getting what she wants from you, she’ll most likely look for it somewhere else.
This is why you need to take action now and begin re-sparking her feelings for you every time you interact with her (e.g. via text, social media, e-mail, and especially over the phone and in person).
The more respect and attraction you make her feel, the more she will open back up to you.
She stops putting her career ahead of you and starts feeling like she doesn’t want to lose you.
When she begins thinking that way, you can easily get her back, or at least hook up with her sexually to see how you both feel afterwards.