Apart from the small percentage of women who like to be controlled and dominated all the time (i.e. in a master and slave type of relationship), the majority of women don’t.
Most women want to be relax into the masculine direction of a man, while also feeling like they are free to do whatever they want. They want a man who can lead the way and guide both himself and her to a better life, as long as he is doing out of love, rather than insecurity.
Some men control a woman because they are insecure about losing her, while other men guide and lead a woman because they love her and want her to be happier, more fulfilled and to experience a better life.
A Woman’s Attraction For a Man is Complex and Varied
Women are attracted to different kinds of men; sometimes the guy is tall with big muscles, other times his short with a bald head. Some guys have lots of money and fancy cars and houses, others are simple guys who rent a small apartment and drive a beat up car.
No matter what the guy’s external characteristics, the one thing all of these guys have in common is their inner characteristics. They all have the qualities that attract women; they are all alpha males.
However, some guys confuse being an alpha male with being a bully. Yes, some alpha males are bad boys, jerks and bullies, but good guy alpha males also exist. A good guy alpha male (the type of guy that almost all women wish they could find) knows that women like to be treated with respect and made to feel like a real woman.
Watch this video by Dan Bacon (founder of The Modern Man) to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works and what she really wants to experience when in a relationship…
In the last 50 years, women have become more independent in their roles; they can take care of themselves and do just about anything a man can do.
Yet, in evolutionary terms those 50 years are a speck of dust in the desert when you consider how long humans have been on this planet. Human relations have developed in a very specific way and it is the men who provide leadership and protection to a woman, even if she is the most powerful woman in the world.
When Margaret Thatcher was the British Prime Minister, she was the most powerful woman in the world at the time, but she stated that her husband Dennis was still the “man of the house” and this holds true for just about every powerful woman out there. How much more so for the average woman?
Evolutionary biologists will tell you that since ancient times a woman was most vulnerable when she was giving birth and that this is one of the main reasons why women have relied on men for protection.
Other reasons are that because of their lack of physical strength and hunting abilities, they had to rely on men to build shelters, provide food for them through hunting, and protect them from wild animals and other men. Although modern women can provide all of this for themselves, their instinct is still to seek a mate who is mentally and emotionally strong enough for her to lean on in difficult times.
This need for protection and leadership is why women like men who are confident, can lead and who exhibit alpha male qualities. Women like to relax into the masculine direction of a man they can rely on to be a man all the time. He must not just act like a man, he must be a man.
Women, like all social animals, are attracted to alpha males who show confidence, leadership and courage. Yet there are those women, who for some reason, due to their emotional make up, or because of some deep seated need to be dominated, need to be with controlling men.
Abused women are notorious for attracting controlling and abusive men but this is not true of all women. Unless she has a particular fetish or emotional desire, most women don’t like being controlled. For most women, being controlled by a guy is a huge turn off and will cause them to want out of the relationship fast.
Why Do Some Men Want to Control Women?
Some men, mostly due to the childhood experiences which have shaped them and their beliefs about women, like to control women. Men who like to control women suffer from a level of insecurity. Here are some of the insecurities that guys have that cause them to wrongfully attempt to control their woman.
He lacks confidence. First and foremost in a man who likes to control his woman is a lack of confidence. This type of guy does not believe that he can get any woman he wants, so when he does get one he tries to control everything she does.
He’s afraid that if he lets her do whatever she wants, she will find someone else and leave him.
He believes that if he let’s her be herself, dress the way she wants and to go out without him with her own friends, she will want to spend less time with him, or even worse, that she’ll realize what a loser he is and find someone else better than him. At its worst this need to control her manifests itself as uncontrollable jealousy and can easily lead to mental and physical abuse.
He is mentally and emotionally weak. Where an alpha male is capable of providing mental and emotional support for a woman, the insecure guy secretly feels inferior to her and so he tries to control her so that she won’t realize how weak he really is. This guy hides his weakness by chipping away at his woman’s self confidence.
He fears that she will leave him. Deep down a guy who is controlling knows what he is doing and that it’s wrong. He fears that if his woman sees who he really is, she will realize that she can do better than him and she will leave him. This fear is what drives him to control her and not let her out of his sight. To console himself he will insist that women like to be controlled.
He fears that she will be better than him. Because of his lack of self confidence, a man who controls a woman fears that if he helps her to flower as a person, she will be better than him and she will show him up and ultimately won’t need him anymore. For this reason he tries to control everything in her life and even attempts to keep her down.
He has low self esteem. Ultimately, a woman who is in a relationship with the controlling type of guy soon realizes how little self belief he has and will move on with her life.
She will realize how insecure he is and that he actually doesn’t have faith in himself and in his abilities to keep her without controlling her. She will know that he is actually mentally and emotionally weak and he needs to control her to make himself seem stronger to himself.
He lacks purpose. Although he can fake it well enough to seduce a woman, deep down this guy knows that he is not going anywhere with his life. He has no ambitions or future prospects and he fears that when she realizes this she will leave him.
A Real Man Doesn’t Need to Control His Woman
Being in a healthy relationship with a woman is much more rewarding than trying to fake happiness and love by controlling her.
The secret to success in relationships with women is to deepen the love, respect and attraction over time. You have to love her fearlessly, rather than insecurely. You have to always try to be a better man for yourself, for her and for those around you, while also encouraging her to become a better woman for the same reasons.
The more you grow together as a couple, the stronger and more important your bond, connection and relationship becomes.