A lot of guys make that mistake with a woman, but are still able to get her back.
Here are 5 things you can do to get her back into a relationship and then make her love you more than she did before:
1. Tell her that you accept the break up and want to catch up as friends to say goodbye
This makes a woman feel like she is losing you and your loving, devoted interest in her, which causes her to feel a similar type of emotional pain you felt when she left you.
It’s much less painful, but painful nonetheless.
When she is feeling that emotional pain, she will naturally want to stop it by trying to keep things open between you and her, rather than closing you off completely.
So, regardless of what your ex is saying right now (e.g. she wants space, she thinks it’s better if you don’t talk to each other anymore), don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s completely over.
Be bold enough to get her on a phone call, so you can begin the ex back process with her.
On the call, tell her (in a confident, easy-going manner) that you accept the break up and only want to meet up as friends to say goodbye, before you and her go your separate ways in life.
So, after the initial pleasantries (i.e. “Hey, how’ve you been?”) and a bit of banter where you make her smile and feel comfortable talking to you, go ahead and tell her.
You can say something along the lines of, “Anyway, I just wanted to say that even though I initially felt a bit shocked by your decision to break up, I’m now totally okay with it. I fully accept your decision. It’s over and we’re never getting back together. I accept that. The only thing I ask though is that at least catch up as friends one more time, so that we can say goodbye to each other in a mature way and without any negative emotions getting in the way.”
She might initially be a bit resistant to the idea and may respond with something like, “No, I don’t want to meet up with you” or, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Regardless of what she says though, don’t get upset or start thinking, “Oh no! This isn’t working! She’s not interested. It’s hopeless. I’ve lost her forever!”
You’ve got to understand that a woman will often initially say no, but then say yes if you can remain calm, confident and get her to feel good about saying yes.
You’ve got to be able to handle that part of relationships with women, otherwise you will always struggle.
So, if she says no, just remain calm and say in a confident, relaxed tone of voice, “Hey, it’s just a catch up as friends. It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t mean we’re getting back together and I can assure that I’m not going to ask you for that. I just want to say goodbye in a mature way and allow us to part ways without any negative feelings. So, which day this week suits you best? I’m free on Tuesday and Wednesday. Which of those days is best for you?”
In almost all cases, a woman will then agree to catch up, even if it’s just so she can end things and move on.
However, don’t worry about her potential reasons for meeting up with you.
Just get to the meet up, so you can re-attract her and get her to want to be back with you.
Before you meet up with her, make sure that you…
2. Prepare yourself to offer her a completely different attraction experience during the meet up
Essentially, what this means is that you need to make sure your approach to attraction with your ex from now on, is very different to what it used to be before she dumped you.
If you get to the meet up with her and end up talking and interacting with her in a way that doesn’t make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, then she won’t feel motivated to get back with you.
This is why, it’s essential that you prepare yourself to make your ex feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you when you see her.
When you meet up with her, you can:
- Adjust your approach and show her by way of your attitude, behavior, conversation style and actions that you’re no longer the guy she broke up with (e.g. if you were too needy and clingy before, you’re now more emotionally independent, if you were a soppy romantic before, you’re now more of a challenge).
- React differently to what she says and does (e.g. if she’s being closed off, cold and distant, rather than being extra nice and sweet to her in the hope that she will open up, use ballsy, challenging humor to bring down her defenses instead. Women love that type of humor, as long as you are doing it in good spirits). An example is if she says, “I just don’t know if we’re a good match,” and you laugh and say, “You don’t know much at all. You were always pretty ditzy” and let her see that you’re joking, rather than being serious and pleading with her by saying something like, “No, we are a good match and I love you. Please just give me a chance to show you that we can make this work.”
- Make her feel feminine and girly in your presence by thinking, talking, behaving, feeling and acting in a more masculine way, rather than being emotionally sensitive around her and making her feel more dominant and ‘masculine’ than you.
- Believe in yourself and in your value to her, rather than feel unworthy. Women want to see that you feel worthy, regardless of how they are treating you (i.e. dumping you for falling in love too fast). Women respond positively to confidence and negatively to insecurity. So, be confident in yourself, even when you feel like you deserve to feel insecure. Always believe in yourself no matter what.
3. Let her see that you’ve calmed down and are no longer Mr. Ready to Commit Right Now and instead, have become a bit of a challenge
If a woman dumped you because you fell in love too fast, it will usually be because she wants a guy who is more of a challenge.
In other words, a guy who makes her feel the need to impress him, win him over and hopefully get him to commit to her eventually.
Women don’t go around saying that because they don’t want guys to get the wrong idea and start treating women badly, saying they will never commit and so on.
Instead, women just gravitate towards men who can offer them that attraction and relationship experience.
So, when you next interact with her your ex, let her feel as though you’re not in a hurry to get her back.
Instead, you are able to remain calm and use humor, flirt with her and challenge her without expecting anything in return.
When you do that, she will immediately begin to feel more attracted to you and will want to experience more of what you are now able to offer her.
Yet, if you use the same old approach and essentially give her the sense that you’re ready to commit if she is, then there’s no challenge or excitement for her.
4. Flirt with her and make her smile and laugh, so she feels good around you
Some guys assume that they are no longer allowed or welcome to flirt with a woman after she breaks up with them.
A guy like that will switch into just being nice, friendly and polite when talking to her or texting her.
Yet, there are no rules that say you can’t flirt with an ex.
In fact, it’s one of the fastest ways to make her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
For example: When you meet up and see her looking pretty, don’t be afraid to smile, look her up and down and say, “Wow, someone’s looking pretty.”
That does not ‘give her too much power’ or show too much interest or any other insecure thing that some guys worry about.
As a man, you can freely say those things without appearing needy or desperate and instead, appearing confident as you flirt with her.
Don’t say it from a needy place (i.e. don’t say it thinking, “I hope this makes her want me back”).
Just say it because you’re a confident, self-assured man who isn’t afraid to express his attraction and knows that no matter what he says, he is always in the one up position in terms of dominance and value.
When you come from that place, women feel magnetically attracted to you.
It’s not something women tell me though, of course.
Women don’t want men getting the wrong idea and thinking that they need to act like they are so much better than a woman, or so much more dominant.
Instead, women simply gravitate towards men who understand how a woman’s attraction really works.
It’s a private understanding between men and women that doesn’t need to be spoken about between men and women.
Instead, you just need to do it.
When you do, women feel attracted to you.
5. Leave the meet up with her feeling like she wants to see you again, but you are saying goodbye
If you’ve been doing things right (i.e. being more challenging, flirting with her, remaining confident no matter what she says or does to make you doubt yourself), she will begin to show signs that she’s feeling attracted to you.
This is a very crucial point in the interaction that can either you result in making her want you more or less.
For example: When you see her signs of attraction, you may be tempted to start talking about getting back together.
Don’t do that though.
Unless she specifically says, “I want to get back together,” just avoid going there in the conversation.
If you see her signs of attraction and begin hinting at, asking or pushing for a relationship, she will then think something like, “I almost got fooled into believing he’d changed, but I see now that it was all an act. He is still totally in love with me and wants to commit. He can’t offer me the kind of experience I want. He’s just not aware of how to be a challenge. He’s too easy for me. I don’t want that. I want to feel excited. He’s excited, but I’m not.”
So, don’t make that mistake of hinting at, asking for or pushing for a relationship.
Instead, when you see that she is feeling attracted to you and possibly even hinting at catching up again, start to end the interaction to stick to the promise you made her (i.e. that you were only catching up as friends and you weren’t going to try to get her back).
“Anyway, I’m glad we were able to catch up and say goodbye as friends. I have to go now, so take care of yourself, okay?”
Then, after she acknowledges that the meet up is ending (e.g. she says something like, “Oh, okay. Bye”), give her a goodbye hug if she seems open and then leave.
She will then be left feeling like she has lost you and it’s all her fault.
As a result, she will feel compelled to contact you and see you again.
So, don’t worry about saying goodbye and walking away at the meet up.
It won’t be a final goodbye because you will have sparked her feelings for you (by being a bit of a challenge and giving her that elusive feelings she was missing), so she will naturally want to see you again.
3 Things to Avoid When Getting an Ex Back Who Dumped You For Falling in Love Too Fast
1. Apologizing for moving too fast to hopefully get her to take pity on you and give you another chance
A guy apologizing to his ex for moving too fast might initially seem like a good idea.
After all, when someone apologizes, the other person usually accepts it.
So, he hopes that she will see how remorseful and sorry he is and then give him another chance.
Then, everything will be okay again.
Yet, regardless of how sincere his apology might be, it’s not actually the thing that will convince her to forgive him and give him another chance.
Apologizing doesn’t actually get to the core of the problem (i.e. that he is more in love with her than she is with him).
Additionally, in most cases, a woman can see right through a guy’s secret intentions (i.e. he is hoping that his apology will make her feel obliged to give him another chance out of pity).
Yet, women don’t want to be with a guy out of pity.
So, here’s the thing…
There’s nothing wrong with apologizing to your ex for moving too fast, especially if you use humor to laugh at yourself and show her that you’ve learned from your past mistake (e.g. “I have to laugh at myself now. I get it. I fell for you too fast and it was probably funny for you to see. Yet, now I don’t feel anything for you, so it’s all good” and then laugh and say, “Just kidding. I like you, but I accept the break up and I’m sorry for being such a soppy romantic guy with you. You had that effect on me.”)
If you apologize in that way, she can then see that you’ve calmed down and gained control over your emotions, rather than continuing to be a lovesick puppy.
As a result, she will feel new kinds of respect and attraction for you for being man enough to learn and grow from your mistake.
2. Not being able to slow down because you don’t have the right balance in life
The right balance as a man, is that your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions are your first priority and a woman is your second priority.
That doesn’t mean you treat a woman as though she isn’t important, or as though she isn’t valuable to you.
Instead, it means that you love her and are happy to have her in your life, but your life isn’t all about her.
That’s what women actually want.
Unfortunately, many guys don’t realize that until it’s too late.
So, a guy will make his woman the centre of his world (i.e. he is essentially living for her, she is his main reason for happiness, everything he does, he does for her, he only wants to focus on the relationship with her and doesn’t really care about his big dreams or ambitions anymore because he has her), which will cause her to lose respect for him for being too emotionally dependent on her (i.e being too needy).
This is why, you must be able to show your ex that even though you still care about her and want her back, you don’t actually need her back to feel happy, fulfilled or confident in yourself.
Your happiness, confidence and feelings of fulfillment come from you following through on your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions in life.
You don’t have to achieve them overnight or even within the next year, but you do need to focus on them and start making real progress.
When she can see that you’re no longer being an emotionally needy guy and have become your own man, her guard will come down.
She will then begin to open herself up to the idea of giving you another chance.
On the other hand, if she gets a sense that you desperately need her back because you can’t cope without her, she will feel happy with her decision to dump you and will want to continue moving on without you.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Not realizing that you can still be a good guy and be a challenge
Being a challenge to a woman doesn’t mean you have to be mean to her, treat her badly and make her feel disrespected.
Instead, it’s about making her feel loved and appreciated, while at the same time creating a desire inside of her to impress you and treat you well, otherwise you might lose interest in her.
If you can offer her that type of attraction experience, she will naturally want to hold on to you because she knows how difficult that desire is to find (i.e. because most guys are just too nice, easy and willing to be with her, without her really having to do anything to impress them).
So, go ahead and continue being a good guy to your ex, but just make sure that you’re also being a challenge to her, so she gets to experience the feeling she really wants when in a relationship with a man.