6 common reasons why a woman will say that to her ex boyfriend:
1. He tried to control her
For example: Some of the ways a boyfriend might try to control his girlfriend and be somewhat of a ‘father figure’ to her, are by…
- Checking her phone and social media accounts to see who she’s talking to and what she’s saying.
- Forbidding her to hang out with her work colleagues and instead, to come straight home after work.
- Not allowing her to wear make up, or clothes that are too revealing or sexy, in case it attracts men.
- Putting her through an interrogation every time she wants to go out, insisting that she tell him where she’s going and with whom and then forbidding her to go if he doesn’t approve.
- Requesting that she text him throughout the day, or if she is going anywhere, so he knows that she is safe.
- Calling and texting her all the time to check up on her.
Although from his point of view, he might feel as though his behavior is totally fine and he’s just being a loving, devoted boyfriend, she doesn’t see it that way.
From her perspective, it feels like he’s treating her like a child who can’t take care of herself, make her own decisions and live her life without his constant support.
That isn’t attractive and appealing to almost all women, because a woman wants to be able to feel like she has her own freedom, while still being loyal and committed to her man.
If she feels as though her boyfriend is controlling her and restricting her, due to not trusting her, or due to his insecurities, then it will ruin her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him over time.
If her boyfriend doesn’t listen to her complaints and change his behavior and treatment of her, she will eventually feel like the best decision for her is to just break up with him, get her freedom back and try to find a more relaxed, loving, confident and trusting man.
2. He made her feel hopeless or dumb, so she would feel like she really needed him
To make a woman feel in need of his intelligent, fatherly presence in her life, a guy will sometimes take on the role of being the person who makes fun of his girlfriend’s dreams, ambitions ideas or opinions, or might pick on her and put her down when she makes a mistake.
He will say things like, “You wouldn’t succeed at that, so don’t even try,” or “You’re always stuffing things up, so I will make the decisions from now on,” or “You’re so dumb. You have no idea how life works. I don’t know what you’d do without me. You’d be so lost.”
Essentially, he’s hoping that by making her feel stupid, she will stick with him because no other guy would want a girl who is as dumb or lost as her, or that he’s essentially doing her a favor by being her boyfriend.
Yet, the truth is, his actions aren’t all based on kindness and generosity and she either knows that right away, or eventually figures it out.
She realizes that he is trying to break her down emotionally and make her feel needy of him, so he can hold on to her and treat her badly, knowing that she will likely just keep putting up with it because she’s lucky to have him.
Of course, that approach can work for a little while, but eventually a woman gets tired of being made to feel like she’s not good enough, being treated like a child and being treated badly by a boyfriend who is acting like he’s Mr. Innocent and she’s to blame for all their relationship problems.
As a result, not only will she disconnect from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for her guy (i.e. fall out of love with him), but she will also begin to resent him and eventually even hate him.
So, how can a guy get his girlfriend back in a situation like that?
Firstly, he needs to truly believe in himself and in his value to his ex, as well as to other women.
In other words, he needs to be totally confident in knowing that he is a cool, interesting and attractive enough guy and can re-attract his ex, or attract other women easily.
Then, he needs to interact with her and reactivate her feelings for him by showing her through his actions, behavior and how he treats her, that he’s now a much more confident, self-assured, loving, well-rounded man who can keep a relationship together.
Of course, he should tell her that he is now that kind of man and as a result, wants a relationship with her.
Instead, he needs to let her experience those changes in him by interacting with her in person, or at the very least on a phone call or video call.
When she experiences the changes in him and feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him as a result, she will then naturally begin to become open to the idea of getting back together.
In many cases, simply based on how differently he now makes her feel, they will end up hugging, kissing and hooking up sexually right away.
If that doesn’t immediately happen in your case though, don’t worry.
Just interact with her and make her feel attracted to the new you and how much she enjoys how she feels when around you, or when interacting with you now.
When that happens, she will naturally begin to feel attached to you again and will begin to worry that if she doesn’t get back with you, or at least give you another chance for a while, she is going to regret it for many years or potentially the rest of her life.
As a result, she will open up to spending time with you, hooking up and seeing where things go from there.
Another reason why a woman will tell her ex boyfriend that he treated her like a child is…
3. He initially treated her like a woman, but gradually began to change and then went too far with it
When he first met her, he showed her respect, listened to her opinions and saw her as being a capable, grown up woman.
Yet, over time, he began treating her more like a child, by not feeling the need to show her much or any respect, disregarding her opinions and looking at her as a confused, naive girl who needs him to take care of her.
Here’s the thing though…
While a woman does like to feel taken care of by a man, she doesn’t want a man to treat her as though she is incapable of taking care of herself.
She can take care of herself and make her own decisions, but will often want to take a step back and let her man lead the way, so she can feel like his feminine woman.
It doesn’t mean that she won’t ever want to make decisions, or can’t take care of herself, but instead, it means that sometimes she likes to relax and let her man lead the way.
If a man gets a big head about that and thinks that he’s so much smarter, better and wiser than her, to the point where he treats her like a child, then she will stop feeling respect for him.
She will start to feel as though he is taking it too far and is expecting her to act like a lost, little girl who needs daddy to take care of her.
If she’s like most women, she doesn’t want to be like that and instead, wants her man to take charge or take the lead, but still be respectful, considerate and loving towards her.
If her boyfriend stops caring about her opinions, puts her down and expects her to just shut up and listen to him, then she will eventually grow tired of that and want to break up with him.
4. She liked it initially, but then became more mature and began to resent it
Sometimes, a woman might enjoy occasionally being treated like a little girl by her man (e.g. he pampers her, decides what she should wear, eat or watch on TV, he protects her) at the start of the relationship.
Yet, as the relationship evolves (if they are an older couple) or she becomes more emotionally mature (if they are a younger couple), she will usually want to be more independent, make her own decisions and take care of herself.
Initially, she might gently try to get him to understand that she is changing (e.g. by telling him that he doesn’t always have to make decisions for her, or take care of things for her).
Yet, if he doesn’t get the message and change, or isn’t willing to change, she will then start to become more frustrated.
Eventually, arguments will break out and she will accuse him of being controlling or treating her like a child who can’t make her own decisions, or take care of herself.
If he still doesn’t change, or isn’t willing to change, a woman will usually then decide to break up with her boyfriend and look for a man who treats her the way she really wants.
So, if your ex feels as though you treated her like a child in the relationship, she probably won’t be feeling like giving you another chance right now.
You can change that though.
Show her during interactions that you’ve leveled up as a man (e.g. you no longer feel the need to control her) and give her the attraction experience she always wanted, but didn’t get (e.g. treat her like a mature woman while still being manly and displaying the kind of traits that attracted her to you initially, rather than making the mistake of sucking up to her and being extra nice to hopefully get another chance with her), she will naturally begin to reconnect with her feelings for you.
In many cases like that, a couple will get back together right away, but if your ex takes a little longer, don’t worry or panic.
Just know that if you honestly level up as a man and are able to attract her in new and exciting ways as you interact with her, she will almost certainly feel as though it would be her loss (not yours) if she doesn’t give you another chance.
So, rather than having to deal with the pain of seeing you move on with another woman while she has feelings for you and wants you back, she will most likely just open up to giving you another chance.
You can then get her back into a relationship that is happier, more mature and more enjoyable than before.
5. He is older than her and wanted her to respect him based on that, so he treated her like a child
If a guy is older than his girlfriend, he will often be a lot wiser and more experienced at life than she is.
As a result, he might feel as though she should follow along with whatever he wants because he’s the wiser, more experienced on.
Yet, regardless of whether he’s right or not about his level of wisdom and experience compared to her, when a guy becomes too forceful with a woman to the point where he treat her like a clueless child who needs his advice or direction, she will begin to resent him.
When she resents him, she will lose respect for him and when that happens, she will stop feeling attracted to him.
From her perspective, she figures that if he’s treating her that way now and isn’t willing to change, or doesn’t know how to change, then he’s probably only going to get worse as the years go on.
Then, regardless of the fact that is a good guy and could possibly be her lifetime love, she will decide to break up with him to regain her sense of self-respect, rather than continue to be treated like a child.
6. He misunderstood her occasional desire to be thought of as being as delicate as a little girl, for wanting to be treated like one all the time
For example: If a woman stubs her toe on the side of the bed, she might put on a little girl face and say in a little girl voice, “Honey, I stubbed my toe,” and want her boyfriend to come and comfort her.
Essentially, she’s acting like a little girl who is delicate and needs to be taken care of.
Alternatively, if she’s cold, she might put on a little girl face and say in a little girl voice, “Brrr…I’m cold…I need a hug…honeeeey, please hug me…I’m colllld,” and show that vulnerable side of herself.
In that moment, she wants to feel vulnerable and be girly around her man, knowing that he’s there to take care of her when she’s feeling helpless or hurt.
In other words, she feels safe with him and wants to let her guard down for a moment and be girly.
However, that doesn’t mean she wants to be treated like a child all the time, have him solve all her problems for her, or encourage him to be like a drill sergeant from the army or a personal trainer at the gym who is ordering her to push herself to be better all the time.
Instead, she’s just enjoying moments of being girly, mixed in with being a fully grown, capable woman.
Unfortunately, some men don’t understand that and end up assuming that their girlfriend wants to be treated like a helpless, hopeless girl all the time.
Then, all of a sudden, she starts throwing tantrums, getting angry and starting arguments over his controlling behavior, or about him treating her like a clueless child who needs his help with everything.
As a result, a guy will often then feel misunderstood, unappreciated, unwanted and even angry at her for shoving all of his good deeds back in his face.
He has been so attentive towards her, has always had her best interests at heart and has been trying to help her grow up so she could be happier with herself and now she is throwing that back in his face.
He doesn’t realize that treating a woman like a girl when she’s being vulnerable is fine, but if he does it all the time, the relationship dynamic goes out of sync because in reality, she is a grown woman and doesn’t want to be thinking, behaving, feeling or acting like a child all the time.
3 Mistakes to Avoid if She Said You Treated Her Like a Child
1. Forgetting that if she initially felt attracted to it, then she prefers a guy who is more manly around her
If your ex girlfriend initially felt attracted to the fact that you were manly and she could feel girly around you, then she is still going to be attracted to that dynamic.
After being dumped, a lot of guys make the mistake of suddenly becoming very soft, gentle, nice and sensitive around her, to hopefully make her happy.
Yet, while she might appreciate the fact that he is trying, it’s just not what she finds attractive about men.
So, make sure that if your ex girlfriend is the kind of woman who likes a man’s raw masculinity (i.e. his ballsiness), don’t go turning into a soft, sensitive guy to hopefully win her over, because that will have the opposite effect and you’ll end up in the friend zone with her.
To get her back, you need to treat her like a grown woman, but don’t lose touch with the things about you that attracted her to you in the beginning.
Additionally, if you want to make sure that she wants you back, then learn and prepare yourself to attract her in new and exciting ways, so she feels like losing you will be her loss, not yours. (That’s what I can help you with).
2. Not understanding that she now feels the need to be emotionally independent and achieve things on her own, to prove to herself that she can manage without you
If you fight against your ex girlfriend trying to enjoy life without you, it will simply make her want to do it even more.
She will assume that you’re still treating her like a child by trying to prevent her from making her own decisions and living her life the way she wants to.
As a result, she might end up blocking you or unfriending you, which will make it difficult for you to interact with her, reactivate her feelings and get her back.
This doesn’t mean you should ignore her and give her weeks or months of space.
In most cases, that approach doesn’t work.
Instead, you should give her a few days of space and then contact her and re-attract her, so she realizes that her feelings for you aren’t dead.
Let her see that you’re not trying to stop her from enjoying herself or moving on without you and then get her to catch up with to say hi as friends.
Then, when you catch up with her, you can attract her further and get to a hug, kiss, sex and back into a new relationship that is better than before.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Assuming that you’ve totally screwed up and there’s no chance that she will ever forgive you or feel attracted to you again
Yes, you did stuff up during the relationship, but that is done now.
So, just let that part of the story go.
From now on, understand that you have learned your lesson and have become a better man as a result.
You are ready to attract her and get her back.
Believe it and make it happen.