Here are 4 tips to turn the situation around and make her want you again:
1. Understand why she doesn’t want you today
How she feels today can be changed tomorrow.
It’s completely within your control.
How she feels from now on is going to be based on what you say and do when you interact with her.
You’re either going to say and do things that make her want you, or you’re going to push her away even further.
It’s all within your control.
Here’s the thing though…
If your ex has recently saying things along the lines of, “I don’t want you,” or “Leave me alone. Why can’t you accept that it’s over between us? You need to move on,” it’s understandable that you might feel like getting her back is hopeless.
You may even be well-meaning friends and family in your life who are telling you, “Hey, you need to let her go. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why are you holding onto a woman who doesn’t want you? Why don’t you move on and find another woman who deserves a great guy like you? She’s just not worth it. You will find a nice girl one day. Just be patient.”
They might mean well, but meaning well doesn’t mean that they are right.
If believe that your ex is the woman for you, then there’s no reason why you can’t get her back.
The first step is to why she doesn’t want you anymore.
When you get clear on that, you can stop saying and doing the types of things that have been turning her off (i.e. like the behaviors that led to the split and that have caused her to feel less respect, attraction, and love for you since) and switch her feelings back on for you.
For example: Leading up to the break up, a guy might turn his woman off by…
- Being too jealous and controlling.
- Being too childish or immature.
- Treating her badly, but expecting her to treat him nicely.
- Being way too nice to her and letting her treat him badly, just so he can spend time with her.
- Being insecure or self-doubting around her, rather than being the confident guy that she fell in love with.
- Being too emotionally sensitive, which causes her to feel more emotionally dominant and strong. As a result, she can’t feel like a feminine woman in the relationship anymore.
- Taking her for granted (e.g. he expects her to do all the housework without pulling his weight, is disrespectful towards her, he fails to notice her efforts to look attractive for him) and expecting she will put up with it because of how much she used to love him.
- Having no clear purpose or direction in his life and just doing whatever he feels like, whenever he wants, rather than being responsible and living her a feeling of safety about their future together.
- Becoming too wimpy and weak-minded, to the point where she feels like she needs to protect him and take care of him.
- Being emotionally distant from her and expecting her to put up with it because they are in a relationship.
- Being emotionally clingy and needing her to always reassure him of how much she loves him.
- Getting angry about trivial things and causing her to feel stressed in the relationship.
So, those were some examples of how a guy might turn his woman off leading up to the break up.
Then, after the breakup, a guy might continue turning his woman off by…
- Being needy and desperate (e.g. by texting or calling her to apologize over and over again).
- Begging and pleading with her for another chance.
- Crying and saying things like, “I can’t live without you,” or “My life is over. I can’t go on without you in it.”
- Asking her to tell him what he did wrong and what he needs to do to change.
- Stressing her out by sending her long text messages and expecting her to reply to him.
- Trying to work things out via text.
- Not changing the things that turned her off and simply trying to convince her to give him another chance because he loves her and cares about her so much.
A lot of guys find themselves in that situation and end up wondering if they should keep holding onto a woman who doesn’t want them, or if they should just move on.
Yet, what is really happening is that the guy’s approach is unattractive and isn’t giving the woman a reason to want him back.
This is why it’s so important that you understand what aspects of your thinking and behavior have been turning her off, so you can stop doing it.
When you begin behaving, talking, thinking and interacting with her in ways that are attractive to, she will automatically go from not wanting you, to wanting you again.
You are now making her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with you (i.e. respectful, attracted, excited, feeling sparks of love, intrigued).
As a result, she starts to feel differently about the relationship and the possibility of getting back together becomes something she is willing to consider.
On the other hand, if you continue saying and doing the same old things that you’ve been doing all along, then don’t even worry about trying to get her back because she’s most-likely going to continue rejecting you.
2. Prepare to re-attract her tomorrow
To re-attract your ex, you need to change and improve some of the things that caused her to lose respect, attraction and love for you.
Here’s an example.
Imagine that a guy became clingy in the relationship with his woman.
His whole life became about her.
He neglected his personal goals, stopped hanging out with his friends to spend more time with her and he gave up most of his interests and hobbies to ensure that he was with her at all times.
As a result, he started being needy, jealous and controlling.
One day, she wanted to go and meet up a girlfriend of hers at a café and he assumed that a guy would also be coming along, or that she might find a guy attractive at whatever café they were going to.
So, he urged her not to go and to just spend time with him at home.
She agreed the first time, but wasn’t happy about it.
Then, it happened again and again.
Eventually, she got sick and tired of being controlled like she was his property and ended the relationship.
How can he get her back?
To begin with, whenever he interacts with her from now on (e.g. via text or e-mail, on social media, over the phone and in person), he needs to be able to show her that he’s no longer like that.
Of course, it’s not about him telling her, “Hey, look at me! I’ve changed. Remember how insecure I used to be and how clingy, needy and jealous I behaved? Well all that is gone, I’m a new man. I’m confident and emotionally strong now. I won’t ever be controlling again” because she’s probably not going to believe him.
Instead, she will likely say something along the lines of, “Yeah? Well, good for you. I still don’t want you back though.”
There is a big difference between saying that he has changed and showing her that he has changed.
For a woman to drop her guard and open herself up to her feelings for her ex again, she first needs to experience the new him via the way he talks, thinks, acts, behaves and interacts with her now.
She needs to see that no matter how hard she tries to make him feel jealous or needy, he doesn’t react in that way.
He remains confident, calm and totally in control of his emotions.
He’s a new man now and she can feel it.
It’s obvious in the way he now thinks, feels, behaves, talks and acts.
He’s no longer the clingy, needy or controlling guy that he used to be.
…and he didn’t even have to tell her.
She experienced for herself and as a result, she believes it so much more than if he were to try and convince her of it by explaining it to her.
In the same way, when you let your experience the new and improved you whenever you interact with her, she won’t be able to stop herself from looking at you in a more positive light.
Her resolve to move on without you will begin to waver.
All of a sudden, she will feel drawn to you and it won’t be about you holding onto her when she doesn’t want you.
She will want you again and you will be there, ready to take her into your arms again.
The next thing you need to do is…
3. Build on her newfound feelings for you
To make her want you without a shadow of a doubt, you need to continue building on her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you every chance you get.
Use every interaction that you have with her to make her feel happy and excited to be interacting with you again.
If you do that, she will naturally start to really want you again.
However, something to remember is that you can’t properly build on your ex’s feelings until you meet up with her in person.
Where many guys go wrong is by trying to change her mind via text.
A guy might think, “Well, I don’t want to scare her off, especially since she says she doesn’t want me anymore. As long as she’s responding to my texts, it must mean that she’s softening up to me. So, I’ll just keep texting and being nice to her. Then, when she’s ready she will let me know and I can then call her or meet up with her. Until then, I’ll just let her call the shots. I’ll stick to text and see how things go.”
Here’s the thing though…
It’s very difficult to get a positive reaction from an ex via text.
You can get her laughing some times and even cause her to feel some sparks of attraction, but you have to get past the texts and to an in person meet up if you want her back for real.
If you all you do is text, she doesn’t have much to hold onto or get excited about.
She can’t see your expression, hear the tone of your voice or observe your body language to see if you have really changed and become a more attractive man.
As far as she knows, you probably haven’t changed a bit, so there’s not much point continuing to hold on via text.
On the other hand, if you call her on the phone or meet up with her in person, it will be a lot easier for her to get a clear picture of who you are now and see that you really have changed.
More importantly, you now make her feel differently.
Her feelings for you have changed back to what they were when she used to love you.
It’s back on, for real.
So, make sure that you call her on the phone where you can make her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again and then get her to agree to a meet up.
When you see her in person, make sure that you continue to build on her feelings for you by saying and doing the types of things that will show her you’re a new man (e.g. confident and emotionally strong, emotionally masculine, emotionally independent).
When you do that, she will naturally start to want you again.
4. Don’t push for a relationship. Keep making her feel attracted and let her really want it
When your ex begins to show signs of interest in you again, it might be very tempting for you to push for a relationship.
Yet, if you do that before she’s ready, she may close herself off from you and pull away once again.
She may begin thinking, “Why is he pressuring me? I don’t know how I feel yet. I’m just not ready to make that kind of commitment.”
She might then text you something like, “Look, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. It’s over between us. Please respect that. I wish you all the best.”
That’s the last thing you want to hear, so make sure that you take things slowly if needed.
For example: To begin with, just agree to hang out as friends only.
You might say to her, “Look, I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want. So, let’s just agree to be friends for now. We’re mature and responsible enough to do that, right?”
She will most-likely agree.
Then, just use the friendship as an opportunity to deepen her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you, until she gets to the point where she’s saying things like, “I don’t want to be friends anymore. I want more than that. Why don’t we give our relationship another try?”
So, don’t waste another day doubting yourself.
You can make her feel attracted to you again.
It’s not about being desperate and chasing her for another chance.
Instead, it’s about being a confident, emotionally masculine man who has the courage and skill to go after what he wants and get it.
You are the man.
Today is a new day for you.
You ARE going to get her back.
Best of all, it’s going to feel amazing for you AND her.
She is going to be overwhelmed with how much respect, attraction and love she feels for the new you.
She is going to look at you as the one who almost got away.
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