Here are 3 tips to make the kiss between you and your ex happen:
1. Focus on creating intense sexual tension between you and her
Sexual tension happens when you and her feel sexually attracted to each other, but aren’t immediately jumping into a kiss and sexual act.
In other words, you both want it, but it’s not happening right away.
Instead, you keep making her feel attracted to you and want you and she eventually gets to the point where she just has to have you.
Then, you release the sexual tension with kissing and sex and it feels amazing for both of you.
A lot of guys don’t realize this, so they end up being too nice, polite and formal when interacting with their ex.
For example: A guy might assume that it would be wrong or rude to flirt with his ex woman and make her feel sexually attracted and turned on, now that they’ve broken up.
He might even say, “Won’t she get angry at me if I show sexual interest? If that happens, I will never be able to get her back. So, I need her to trust me and feel safe around me first, which means I have to be on my best behavior and just act friendly and nice.”
Here’s the thing though…
If a guy isn’t actively making his ex feel sexually attracted to him again, she’s not going to feel very motivated to meet up him, kiss him, have sex with him or spend anymore of her time with him.
Instead, his nice guy approach will cause her to just see him as a friend, or worse, she might even be thinking, “I can’t wait to get out of here. I wish I had never agreed to meet up with him. Why won’t he accept that it’s over between us and move on? I don’t feel attracted to him anymore. It’s over!”
So, if you want to initiate a kiss when you meet up with your ex, don’t be afraid to flirt with her to create sexual tension.
If you don’t build up the tension and just try to kiss her out of nowhere, she will most likely laugh and say something like, “Hey! What the hell are you doing? We’re not together anymore,” or she might get upset and tell you to leave her alone and not contact her anymore.
So, make sure you create and build up the sexual tension with her first.
One way you can do that is by combing some flirting into ordinary conversations that you’re having with her.
For example: Imagine that you’re at a coffee shop with your ex and are talking about what you’ve been up to since the break up.
You might be saying something like, “Things have really taken off for me. Remember how I always wanted to (mention a goal or activity that was important to you that she knows about)? Well it’s finally happening now.”
She will likely smile and say something along the lines of, “Wow, that’s great,” or “I’m happy for you.”
You can then say, “How about you? What have you been up to?” then quickly add, “Besides smelling so good that is! Come over here let me get a whiff of that great perfume you’re wearing.”
Then, pull her in a little closer, lean in close to her ear and say, “Mmmm… you smell sexy!”
Then, pull away and continue on with the conversation as if nothing happened.
Add in some flirting several times throughout the conversation, (i.e. talk normally, say or do something sexually provocative and then go back to talking normally), to build up the sexual tension between you and her.
When you create sexual tension, she then naturally has the desire to want to release that tension with kissing and sex.
As a result, when you initiate a kiss, rather than pull away and say something like, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing? We’re not together anymore. I don’t want you to do that,” she will be feeling so attracted that she will just naturally go with it and really enjoy it.
Another tip to help you initiate a kiss when you meet up with your ex is to…
2. Make her feel relaxed and attracted in your presence
If you meet up with your ex and are being nervous, tense and uptight around her, she will pick up on it, feel turned off and be on her guard around you.
She may then begin to think things like, “This was such a mistake. It feels so awkward and weird drinking coffee together. We clearly aren’t good at this ‘ex’s as friends’ thing. He’s so insecure around me now and it’s making me feel self-conscious. I should make some excuse and go before it gets too uncomfortable for the both of us. We’re just not a good match anymore. He’s not confident enough for a girl like me.”
She might then make an excuse and leave, which will then make it a little harder to get a kiss.
This is why it’s very important that you make her feel relaxed and attracted in your presence.
How can you do that?
One way is by making her laugh, smile and feel happy to be seeing you again.
Another way is to remain relaxed and maintain your confidence around her no matter what she says or does to make you feel uncomfortable.
For example: Imagine that you’re in a coffee shop with your ex right now.
She says something along the lines of, “I don’t know if we should be doing this. It feels weird seeing each other again like this.”
Rather than worrying and thinking something like, “Oh no! She’s not interested anymore. I’ve lost my chance with her! It’s over! I’ve blown it!” just use her comment as an opportunity to make her feel attracted instead.
You can respond by saying (in a joking way), “You’re right! Seeing each other like this is weird. I think it’s the sun from the window. It’s making your nose look all big and round. Oh and your ears are huge too! I never knew your ears were that big. Maybe we should change tables. I’ll call the waiter…” and have a laugh with her about that.
Note: Don’t say anything like that if your ex is sensitive about her nose or ears for some particular reason.
If she’s not sensitive about her nose or ears, then making a joke like that will instantly put her at ease in your presence.
She will likely laugh (or only smile if she’s playing a bit hard to get) and feel attracted to you for having the balls to joke with her like that.
All of a sudden, being around you feels like a lot of fun for her, so her guard naturally comes down and she opens up to you a little more.
She then begins to wonder, “What has changed? Why am I feeling attracted to him all of sudden? What’s going on?” and can’t seem to stop the sexual desire running through her body and mind as she looks at you.
Then, when you initiate a kiss, she will more than likely be willing to go along with it to see what happens and how she feels afterwards.
On the other hand, if you make her feel tense, uncomfortable and apprehensive around you and then try to kiss her, she will almost certainly pull away and reject you.
So, focus on making her feel relaxed and attracted in your presence.
Another tip to help you initiate a kiss when you meet up with your ex is to…
3. Get a goodbye hug and then kiss her
As long as you’ve been making your ex feel respect and sexual attraction for you throughout the course of your meet up, getting at least a goodbye hug from her shouldn’t be an issue at all.
In fact, if you’ve made her feel really good to be seeing you again, she may even be the one who initiates the hug first.
Of course, don’t worry if she doesn’t initiate.
Instead, when your ex is getting ready to leave the meet up, just take the lead and say something like, “Anyway, it was good to catch up as friends. I’m proud of us for being able to enjoy each other’s company in a mature way. Come here and give me a hug to say goodbye.”
Then, move closer to her and open your arms.
If you have made her feel attracted to you, she will almost certainly be more than happy to give you a goodbye hug.
So, just go ahead and gently, but confidently take her in your arms and give her a nice, long, warm hug.
If she seems open (e.g. she remains in your arms longer than necessary, looks up at you and smiles, gives you a squeeze back), then just lean in and give her a kiss.
From there, you can deepen the kiss and possibly even go back to your place or her place to hook up sexually.
Of course, if sex doesn’t happen after the kiss, don’t worry about it about all.
The important thing is that you’ve broken down her defenses by initiating a kiss and have also planted seeds of doubt in her mind about her decision to break up with you.
From there, getting her back becomes a matter of “when” rather than “if.”
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Kiss an Ex Woman
If you don’t want your ex to reject you when you initiate a kiss, be sure to avoid any of the following mistakes…
1. Appearing nervous around her
When a guy is nervous and tense, it comes across in his actions and behavior even if he tries hard to hide it.
For example: He might fidget a lot, find it difficult to maintain eye contact, stumble over his words, struggle to make conversation or be trying hard to impress her.
A woman can easily sense nervousness in a guy and when she does, it instinctively turns her off.
Rather than think, “Awww…he’s really trying so hard to impress me. That’s so sweet. I’d better take it easy on him so that he can stop feeling so nervous around me,” she is more likely to think, “What did I ever see in him? He’s so wimpy? He’s scared of me now. I want a confident man, not a nervous guy who needs me to be gentle and nice with him so he can then feel confident.”
Here’s the thing…
Women just don’t like having to reward emotional weakness with love, affection, sex and devotion.
Women are instinctively programmed to be attracted to confidence and self-belief in a man and repelled by emotional weakness and insecurity.
It’s not something that she can ignore because it’s an instinctive, primal thing that happens inside of a woman’s body and mind as she interacts with a man.
So, if she notices that her ex is nervous and unsure of himself around her, it simply serves as another reason why she wants to remain broken up.
If he then tries to initiate a kiss, she will reject him because she won’t be feeling attracted.
She might then make an excuse about why she needs to leave and he will be without a kiss.
So, when you meet up with your ex, focus on having confident thoughts about how she will respond to you when she sees you and when you kiss her.
Believe in yourself, rather than doubting yourself.
As a result, your confidence and self-belief will come through in the tonality of your voice, body language and in the way you interact with her.
She will naturally feel attracted to that and then, when you initiate a kiss, she will be happy that you did.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Asking if it’s okay to kiss her
If you ask for permission to kiss her, you’re opening yourself up to the possibility of her saying “No.”
Additionally, it can cause her to lose respect and attraction for you because, in her eyes, you’re not being man enough to take the lead and make the kiss happen.
You don’t need to ask your ex for permission to kiss her.
You simply need to make her feel sexually attracted to you and then move in for a kiss.
If she doesn’t want to kiss, she will pull away or say, “No” and you can then respect that.
However, if she does want to kiss and you ask her, she will almost certainly lose respect for you for not having the balls to kiss her and she will say, “No.”
On the other hand, if you make her feel attracted, build up some sexual tension and release it with a kiss, she will be happy that you did and proud of you for being so confident and ballsy.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Waiting for extremely obvious signals that she wants a kiss
Sometimes a guy makes the mistake of thinking that a woman is going to give him a 100% clear sign when she is open to being kissed.
For example: She might lean in close, look deeply into his eyes and say something along the lines of, “I’ve missed your kisses,” or “I always loved the way you kissed me” or, “Kiss me.”
He can then pull her into his arms, kiss her and get her back.
Yet, it almost never plays out like that in real life.
It happens in movies, but in real life, even if a woman still has feelings for her ex and is hoping that he will kiss her, she will rarely give him an obvious signal to let him know.
Firstly, most women don’t want to come across as being too desperate.
Secondly, she doesn’t want to help him to feel confident around her by making things easy for him.
Instead, she wants to see if he has the confidence to go for it, even if it seems as though she’s not interested.
If he has the type of confidence, she will feel a lot of respect and attraction for him for having the balls to go after what he wants in life (in this instance a kiss from her) regardless of how daunting it may have seemed to him.
However, if he waits for a clear signal from her before he makes a move, he may be waiting for a long, long time.
Worse still, she might decide to open herself to other guys who do have the confidence and self-belief to kiss her, rather than waiting for her ex to grow a pair of balls again and initiate a kiss.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Acting more like a friend than a lover
Sometimes a guy will meet up with his ex and spend the entire time pretending that he’s only interested in being her neutral friend.
- He talks in a nice, polite way to her.
- He doesn’t flirt to build up sexual tension.
- He only uses polite humor, rather than using ballsy humor to make her feel attracted.
- He pretends that he’s not interested in her anymore.
Naturally, this causes a woman to remain closed off because there’s no sexual attraction and respect to make her feel motivated to want to kiss him, have sex and open up again emotionally.
If he then tries to initiate a kiss, she will likely pull away and say something along the lines of, “What do you think you’re doing?” or “Eeew! Don’t do that! We’re not like that anymore! I don’t like you in that way now.”
He may then feel dejected and possibly even give up on the idea of getting her back at all.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that his approach was wrong, but he still does have a chance.
He just needs to change his approach from being Mr. Friendly to Mr. Turn On, so she actually has a reason to want him in a sexual and romantic way.
Remember: It’s totally fine to be her friend.
Just make sure you’re not pretending to be an innocent friend who isn’t interested in her in a sexual or romantic way.
If you act like a friend, you will end up in the friend zone.
So, make the feelings sexual, initiate a kiss and then enjoy the great times ahead with her.