If you want to seduce your ex back into a relationship with you, here are the 5 steps you should follow:
- Trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you when you interact with her
- Get her to meet up with you in person
- Build up the sexual tension between you and her
- Release the sexual tension with at least a hug, but preferably also a kiss
- Get her to see that it would be fun to catch up again, even if it’s the last time before you and her say goodbye
Okay, let’s begin with step 1:
1. Trigger Her Feelings of Sexual Attraction For You When You Interact With Her
One of the main reasons why a woman breaks up with a guy is that, over time, she loses touch with her feelings of respect and attraction for him.
She just doesn’t feel that spark with him anymore, so she starts to become bored and begins thinking about leaving him to find a new man.
So, if you want to seduce your ex back into a relationship, the first thing you need to do is re-spark those feelings inside of her.
A really great way of doing that is by getting her to smile, laugh and feel happy every time she interacts with you.
When she is smiling and laughing while interacting with you, it makes it difficult to hold onto any negative feelings about you.
She relaxes her guard and naturally becomes more open to interacting with you again, which in turn gives you more opportunities to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you.
Whether you’re texting her, calling her on the phone or seeing her in person, it’s up to you to use every interaction to break down your ex’s walls and get her thinking, “Hmmm… I’m actually having fun talking to my ex again. It feels good to be interacting with him again.”
The more fun she has while interacting with you, the more likely it is that she will want to do it again and again.
From there, you just need to keep saying and doing the types of things that women find attractive in men (e.g. be confident and charismatic, make her feel girly and feminine in contrast to your masculine vibe) and she will slowly open herself up to the idea of being seduced back into a relationship with you.
However, if you don’t trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you first, she’s going to continue saying things like, “I’m just not interested,” or “I really don’t have feelings for you anymore,” or “We’re just not right for each other. Please just move on and leave me alone. We had our chance and it didn’t work.”
So, make sure that you focus on making her feel sexually attracted to you before you even attempt to get another chance with her.
Note: Where some guys go wrong is thinking that looking better will trigger a woman’s feelings of sexual attraction and seduce her back into a relationship with him.
For example: If a guy remembers his ex saying something like, “Guys with big muscles are so hot!” or “I think guys who wear suits are sexy,” he might then think, “If I want to be successful in seducing my ex back into a relationship, I need to be the kind of guy she finds attractive. That means I’m going to have to go to the gym to build up my muscles and get myself some suits, even though I’m more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. I’m going to do whatever it takes to turn her on. If she wants muscles and suits, I will give her that!”
Yet, a woman who has broken up with a guy isn’t necessarily going to run back to him because he’s wearing a nice suit, or packed on some extra muscle.
Sure, a woman might see the physical changes in her ex and say something like, “Oh, wow…you’ve really changed. You look good,” but that doesn’t mean she’s suddenly going to change her mind and want to be with him because of that superficial change he has made.
If a guy doesn’t change in the ways that are important to her (e.g. he was clingy and insecure in the relationship, but has now become more confident and emotionally mature, or he was too self-absorbed and took her for granted and has now becomes more attentive and caring), she’s not going to feel sexually attracted to him based solely on his physical appearance.
All she has to do is interact with him and if he reacts in the same ways he used to (e.g. clingy, insecure, secretly self-absorbed), she’s going to realize that nothing fundamental has really changed about him.
She will realize that his changes are merely superficial, so his muscles and suits will then have no effect on her.
She will just look at him as the same guy that she broke up with and say something like, “You really look great, but it’s too late for us to try again. It’s over.”
2. Get Her to Meet Up With You in Person
Initially texting your ex to open the lines of communication is perfectly fine, but using text is not the best way to seduce her back into a relationship with you.
To seduce your ex back into a relationship for real, you have to meet up with her in person and let her experience the new you.
When she is face-to-face with you and you are sparking her feelings of sexual attraction and respect via your body language, the way you’re talking to her and the way you’re interacting with her, she won’t be able to resist feeling seduced.
On the other hand, if all the interactions between you and her are via text and maybe some over the phone, she will never get to experience the full force of your new and improved personality and confidence.
A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that because a woman is being nice and friendly via text, she’s being seduced and it’s working.
If a guy is insecure, he might say to himself, “At least by texting her we are staying in touch. She’s not ignoring me or telling me to get lost, so it must be working. Maybe if I just keep texting her regularly, she will start to want me again.”
Yet, that’s not how it works. Why?
Mainly because she’s just getting texts from you.
She’s not really interacting with the real you.
It’s just words on a screen to her.
Watch this video of me as I help you understand how to get your ex back.
Can you see the difference in actually learning from me when I speak on video, compared to only reading the words that I’ve typed for you here?
This is why you shouldn’t hide behind text when getting an ex back.
Any guy can hide behind texts by typing a bunch of words and acting more confident and emotionally strong than he actually is.
Women know that.
When a woman is getting texts from her ex, she has no way of being able to see if the confident, cool persona he is presenting to her is actually real or not.
So, no matter how open she is to getting back together with you, it’s highly unlikely that it will totally happen via text.
If you want to seduce your ex back into a relationship for real, make sure that you get her on a phone call to spark some of her feelings for you and then get her to meet up with you in person.
In person, she will be able to see for herself that everything she experienced over the phone and via text (e.g. your confidence, charisma, emotional strength) is actually for real.
She then won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for the new and improved you.
From there, you need to…
3. Build Up the Sexual Tension Between You and Her
If you want to seduce your ex back into a relationship with you, creating sexual tension between you and her is an absolute must.
How do you build sexual tension?
By flirting with her and making her laugh and smile during interactions, while also not trying to convince her to get back into a relationship with you.
Flirting makes a woman feel attracted to you and the fact that you’re not desperately trying to convince her to get back with you creates a build of desire from her side.
She starts to wonder, “Why am I feeling so drawn to him all of a sudden? Why am I missing him? Why am I feeling this way?”
That’s what you want.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that flirting with an ex is wrong.
For example: A guy might say, “What if I try to flirt with her and she gets angry with me and leaves? If that happens, then I stand the risk of wasting my only chance with her. So, it would probably be better to act like just a friend and then see where things go from there.”
Then, when he meets up with her, rather than using humor to help her relax and open up, he remains serious and on his best behavior because he thinks that is what she wants.
Yet, seriousness is not attractive to an ex woman because it keeps things distant between you and her.
If she feels awkward, uptight and distant around you, she will naturally focus on all the negative things about you and the relationship.
Yet, when she is laughing, smiling and feeling attracted, she loosens up and starts focusing on the things that she likes about you and the good times that you and her once shared.
So, don’t be serious. Just flirt and make her feel attracted to you again.
She doesn’t want to see you being serious and acting like you need to be on your best behavior to impress her.
She wants you to re-attract her.
For example: If a guy is being very serious at the meet up, she might then take it the wrong way and assume that he is feeling nervous and insecure around her.
She will likely think to herself, “I see that nothing much has changed with my ex since we broke up. He’s still insecure and is still needs me to love him so he can feel good about himself again. This meet up is really turning into a waste of time. He still doesn’t understand how to be a real man. I should just go.”
Of course, there is a place and time to be serious in a relationship, but when a guy is trying to seduce his ex back into a relationship, he needs to first get her to relax and feel comfortable around him, so she can drop her guard.
So, don’t be afraid to flirt with your ex and make her laugh when you meet up with her.
You can’t seduce her by being her nice, very serious or platonic friend.
You have to actively make her feel sexually attracted to you and flirting, laughing and smiling is the perfect way to build up the sexual tension between you and her.
When you do that, she starts to feel good and becomes more open to the idea of getting back together again.
4. Release the Sexual Tension With at Least a Hug, But Preferably Also a Kiss
If you’ve been triggering your ex’s feelings of sexual attraction during your meet up with her (i.e. using flirting and humor to create sexual tension, being emotionally stronger, making her feel girly and feminine), your ex will be giving you signs that she’s feeling open to you.
For example: She might be…
- Playing with her hair or necklace.
- Licking her lips.
- Touching you on the arm or leg during conversation.
- Biting her lip while looking at you in the eye.
- Reaching out to touch your hand.
Whatever the case, it’s up to you to take the lead and release the sexual tension that has been building up between you, by giving her a hug and possibly even a kiss.
For example: You might say, in an easy-going way, “It’s really great to see that we’re not like those ex’s who can’t talk to each other. We’re pretty cool ex’s, don’t you think? We should hug on that. Come over here and give me a hug.”
She might be a little resistant at first, and may say, “No, we shouldn’t do that,” but just remain relaxed and say, “It’s just a hug. We’re friends now. We can do that. Besides, we’re cool ex’s. We’re not lot other people who can’t even be normal around each other after breaking up. Come here, bring it in for a hug.”
She will then come closer to you for a hug.
Just pull her close and say something like, “Mmmm… you smell pretty good for an ex. I like it,” and then lean in and give her a quick kiss on the lips.
Depending on how she responds, you can either deepen the kiss, or move back and continue building the tension between you and her and try again later if it looks like she’s keen.
If she says no to a kiss, just say, “Hey, it’s a goodbye kiss. We can do that” and she will almost certainly go for it.
If she doesn’t, it means that she is either testing your confidence to see if you crumble and become nervous, or you haven’t built up enough sexual tension first and she’s just not feeling it yet.
5. Get Her to See That it Would Be Fun to Catch Up Again, Even if it’s the Last Time Before You and Her Say Goodbye
After you hug and kiss, don’t make the mistake of getting too serious and getting into deep discussions about the relationship.
After all the work you’ve done to get her to relax and open up to you at this point, you don’t want to cause her to reconnect with the negative feelings she may still be feeling about her break up with you.
So, just keep things light and relaxed between you and her and simply ask, “How about we do this again next week?”
She might respond by saying something like, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” or “I don’t know. I need some time to think about it.”
Regardless of what she says, don’t get upset or start thinking, “Oh no! This isn’t working! I thought she was interested in getting back and now she doesn’t even want to see me again! Ahhh!! What should I do?!!”
In most cases, when a woman is reluctant to meet up with you again, it usually has nothing to do with whether she wants to get back together again.
What does it mean?
She simply doesn’t want to make it too easy for you to get her back.
She wants to make sure that you’ve really changed (e.g. you’re not going to start feeling insecure, get upset with her and start begging and pleading after she says an initial no to meeting up again) and that you’re man enough to guide her through the ex back process until you and her are fully back in a relationship again.
So, if she’s playing a little bit hard to get, simply say, “Hey, we had a good time today didn’t we? So, why not do it again? If you feel that you’ve had enough of me after that, we can say goodbye there and then and you never have to see me again. How about it? Let’s catch up in a few days.”
She will probably give in and say something along the lines of, “Okay. I can live with that.”
Then, just go ahead and make plans with her to hook up when it’s suitable for both of you.
Just remember: The point of hooking up with her again, is to continue building on her feelings of sexual attraction and seducing her back into a relationship with you.
By the way…
If possible, try to get to sex after the first meet up.
Sex speeds up the process of reconciling the relationship.
It doesn’t fix everything, but it’s one part of the ex back process that you need to make sure you include along the way, rather than acting like just a friend.