If you’re wondering how long you should wait for your ex to come back, here is what happened in 3 separate case studies based on my experience helping men to get women back.
1. He waited 7 days, contacted her to meet up and they got back together.
I’ve heard back from many clients who’ve gotten a woman back after giving her anywhere from 3 to 7 days of space.
In many cases, it’s good to give her the week of space so she can properly down after the break up and begin to miss you.
An example from last week was a couple in the USA. They had been together for 3 years and the woman dumped the guy because he’d become too insecure and clingy.
During the 7 days of space, he got my program (Get Your Ex Back Super System) and followed the advice and steps to transform himself into an emotionally strong man.
He wasn’t perfect when he contacted his ex, but he was a lot better and his newfound confidence, emotional strength and emotional maturity made his ex feel attracted.
They chatted at the meet up and she felt attracted to the new and improved version of him, which then resulted in them hugging, kissing and then hooking up later that evening back at his place.
2. He waited 30 days, contacted her and she’d moved on.
I’ve also heard of many examples like this from clients who had heard that it was best to ignore a woman for 30 days after a break up, before contacting her and trying to get her back.
Yet, the problem in these cases is that the woman usually uses that time to move on without the guy.
In some cases, the woman really does want to get back with him, but she isn’t going to make it easy for him by calling him and suggesting that they catch up.
Instead, she waits to see if he has what it takes as a man to get a woman back after a break up.
When she doesn’t hear from him, she then opens herself up to other guys (e.g. at work, through friends or while out partying), has sex, experiences new love and begins to move on.
This is why I always recommend that guys only give a woman a maximum of 7 days of space.
In most ex back cases, you’ve got to act quickly otherwise the woman will try to get over the pain by hooking up with a new guy.
Of course, if that has already happened in your case, don’t worry – you still can get her back from the new guy.
You’ve simply got to follow the 7-step process that I explain in my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System and you will get another chance with her.
3. He waited 60 days, contacted her and she was unwilling to catch up.
These cases are less common, but it surprises me that some guys wait that long to contact their ex and begin the ex back process.
Sometimes, a guy will ignore his ex for 60 days because he doesn’t want to seem needy or pushy, while other times he will do it because he wants to hopefully teach her a lesson for dumping him.
Yet, in most cases, the woman will have plenty of time to get over the break up and even move on, so she will be less willing to catch up in person.
The guy is then stuck with only being able to text her and if he tries to get her back via text, he will usually fail at that too because she can’t experience the new and improved him via text.
To properly impress and re-attract an ex woman, you have to talk to her on a phone call or in person so she can experience the changes in you.
You can’t just rely on waiting for her to contact you and guide you and her back into a relationship.
Sometimes a woman does contact a guy if she hasn’t heard from him for a long time, but that usually happens because:
- She’s still in love with him and is struggling to forget and move on.
- She lacks experience when it comes to relationships and can’t handle the pain of being broken up.
- She’s struggling to find a new guy and notices (e.g. via social media or by hearing about him through friends) that he is out dating, having fun and moving on with his life without her.
However, in almost all other instances, the woman will just move on and forget all about her ex if she doesn’t hear from him pretty soon after the break up.
So, if you want to get your ex back, you have to be active about it rather than being inactive and just waiting around hoping that she comes running back to you.
Waiting a Long Time For a Woman to Come Back Can Really Mess With a Guy’s Confidence, Self-esteem and Happiness
Sometimes, going through a break up can really mess a guy up emotionally.
For example: When a guy gets dumped and is sitting around at home feeling lonely and depressed, it’s possible that he might be thinking, “I really must have been a pretty lousy boyfriend (fiancé or husband) for my woman to break up with me like this. What kind of guy am I? Why do women seem to react this way to me when in a relationship? I don’t know what to do about this… I still love her and I want her back, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me. Maybe if I give her some time apart, she will realize that no other guy will ever love her the way that I do and she will come back to me.”
He might then spend months, and in some cases even years, waiting for his ex to come back to him.
Yet, the more time passes where he doesn’t hear from her, the more it eats away his confidence and self-esteem about women and relationships.
On the outside, he might go around pretending that everything is okay with him, but on the inside, not hearing from her makes him doubt himself and his attractiveness as a man.
For example: He might say to himself, “How long should I wait for my ex to come back? I’ve been waiting for months now and I still haven’t heard anything from her. Why isn’t she calling me up? Doesn’t she miss me? What’s wrong with me? Am I such a terrible guy that a woman who loved me won’t even give me another chance? Will she ever come back? Am I doomed to be on my own now? I only want to be with her. I can’t deal with the thought of having to find a new woman, date her and go through the whole process of falling in love again. What if that woman ends up dumping me too? I just want my ex back. Yet, she doesn’t want me. I’ve waited so long and she’s not coming back. Maybe there’s no chance for her and I now.”
What can happen then, is that he completely gives up on ever getting his ex back.
Instead of realizing that his best chance of making his ex come back is to actively spark her feelings of respect, attraction, and love for him when he interacts with her via text, e-mail, on social media, on a phone call and in person, he loses confidence in himself and his attractiveness to women.
What’s even worse is that he may also give up on the idea of ever attracting other, beautiful women, because deep down he’s likely thinking, “My ex clearly doesn’t want me back, so why would other beautiful woman be interested in me? Obviously I’m not the kind of guy that women feel attracted to. I probably should just stay on my own.”
What he doesn’t realize is that women are attracted to confident men who believe in themselves and their attractiveness to women, and are turned off by insecure men who doubt themselves.
If a guy lacks self-confidence, a woman will pick up on that via his body language, the way he talks, behaves and interacts with her, and she will feel turned off by what she perceives as his emotional weakness.
On the other hand, when a guy is being confident, self-assured, determined to succeed and assertive, a woman will instinctively perceive him as being an emotionally strong man and she will naturally feel attracted to him.
Most women like the idea of being with a man who is able to have his say in the world and who will be able to take care of her, and any children they might have together.
However, when a guy is emotionally weak, he’s going to lack the confidence, determination and self-belief to go after what he really wants in life (e.g. getting his ex back, beautiful women, a great career).
The fact is, a woman doesn’t want to be with a guy that makes her feel like she’s going to have to take care of him and protect him from the world.
For example: When a guy lacks confidence and self-esteem, it’s more likely that he’s going to rely on his woman for his happiness, confidence, self-esteem and sense of identity in this world.
In a relationship, he might say to her, “I wouldn’t want to live if I didn’t have you. You’re my everything. If you ever broke up with me, I don’t think that I would want to stay alive. You are what I live for.”
Alternatively, he might continuously ask her, “Do you still love me? You wouldn’t ever leave me would you?”
Here’s the thing though…
A woman wants to be with the kind of guy who can easily attract other women, but chooses to be with her because he loves her and looks at her as being the woman for him.
She doesn’t want to be with him because he can’t get anything else and got lucky when she gave him a chance.
When it comes to getting a relationship back together, a woman doesn’t want to get back with a guy out of pity or guilt.
To ensure that you don’t make her feel that way, you must be confident in your ability to attract your ex and other women if you wanted to.
Being able to attract your ex and other women makes you less dependent on your ex.
You don’t feel like you need her any more. You want her, but you don’t actually need her.
That is how she wants you to feel about her.
Being confident, happy and emotionally strong with or without your ex actually makes you seem more attractive to her.
So, whenever you interact with her from now, make sure that you let her see, feel and experience your confidence, self-belief and emotional strength.
The more that you do let her experience your emotional strength, the quicker you will reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you and the more she will feel drawn to you and want to be with you again.
It Sucks if She’s Moving On While You Are Still Waiting Around For Her
Sometimes, when a guy is waiting for his ex to come back, he might start thinking about all the things that she’s up to, now that she’s no longer with him.
He might then begin to wonder if she’s been moving on without him, and he feels horrible about the idea of her having sex and falling in love with a new man, while he is still waiting around for her.
Unless you’re saying and doing things to reactivate your ex’s feelings for you, it’s highly likely that she’s going to be moving on without you.
You’ve got to be active to get her back, rather than taking the risk of waiting and just letting her move on because she doesn’t see any reason to come back to you.
Even if your ex is still hoping that you and her will get back together again, if she doesn’t hear from you for weeks or months, she may just think, “Oh well…it looks like he wasn’t as in love with me as I thought he was. I guess we aren’t meant to be together then. He obviously got over me pretty quickly because I haven’t heard from him in such a long time. I guess I’m going to have to forget about him and move on with my life.”
When she starts thinking that way, she begins to disconnect from her feelings for you and before long the thing you’ve been fearing the most (i.e. her having sex and falling in love with a new man) becomes a reality.
That’s not what you want.
You want her back, but you can’t count on her coming back on her own without you actually doing anything to reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
So, don’t waste a lot of time torturing yourself with images of her happy and in love with some other guy, while you’re sitting at home alone waiting for her to come back.
Instead, use every opportunity you get to interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media, over the phone, in person) to make her have SOME feelings for you again.
When you focus on making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be interacting with you, it’s much less likely that she is going to want to move on and completely forget about giving you another chance.
The more you renew her feelings of respect and attraction for you, the more she will be thinking, “Why am I feeling this way now? I really thought that I was over my ex, but now I’m not sure. I actually enjoy talking to him now, and if he doesn’t call me for a few days I actually miss him too. Why am I suddenly afraid of losing him, even though we’re broken up and he can date anyone else he wants? What should I do?”
Making her feel that way is the easiest, fastest way to get an ex back.
However, that’s not going to happen if all you’re doing right now is sitting and waiting for her to come back.
So, stop worrying about what she’s doing and start interacting with her and making her feel respect and attraction for you again.
When you trigger her feelings of attraction for you again, she stops focusing on how bad things used to be between you and her, and she begins to feel drawn to you in a whole new and exciting way.
She can’t stop herself from wanting to interact with you via text, on the phone and in person, even though she might previously have thought that she was ready to move on.
From there, you can build on that spark of attraction and make her want to come back to you.
On the other hand, if you keep waiting for her to come back on her own, it’s highly likely that she will soon be having sex and falling in love with someone else who is actually triggering her feelings of attraction.
Important: If You Haven’t Improved Your Ability to Attract Her, She’s Not Going to Feel Anything New For You
Quite often, months and even years can pass by in a guy’s life where he is waiting for his ex to come back.
When he eventually interacts with her again (e.g. because he happens to bump into her somewhere, he plucks up the courage to call her) and has a chance to re-attract her, he has to be ready to make it happen.
If he hasn’t improved his ability to attract her (e.g. he just talks to her in a nice, friendly way and doesn’t even actively create a spark by flirting with her, being charismatic, being confident and charming), she’s not going to feel much or anything for him other than friendly feelings or worse, she might ask him to leave the past in the past.
If you don’t want that to happen to you when you next interact with your ex, you need to do 2 things:
- Contact your ex (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call) and get her to meet up with you so that you can re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
- Make sure that you develop your ability to attract her, by improving on the things that caused her to break up with you in the first place.
For example: If a guy got dumped because he was too insecure, controlling and jealous in the relationship, he needs to show his ex that he’s now confident, emotionally independent, emotionally mature and now fully believes in his value to her.
No matter how much his ex tries to test him (e.g. by being cold and indifferent towards him when they interact, flirting with other guys to get under his skin), he needs to remain calm and relaxed to show her that he really has changed.
Don’t Wait Until it’s Too Late
To get a woman back, you need to take action now to reactivate her feelings for you, rather than waiting and hoping that she comes back on her own.
So, don’t waste another day hoping that she comes back on her own.
Just pick up the phone and call her.
On a phone call, you need to make her feel respect and attraction for you (e.g. by making her smile, laugh and feel happy) and then arrange a meet up.
From that moment on, you’ve got to continue saying and doing the types of things that are going to keep turning her feelings on for you (e.g. be confident and self-assured, make her feel feminine and girly in contrast to your masculinity, be charming and charismatic), rather than saying and doing the types of things that were turning her off in the past, or that have been turning her off since the break up (e.g. begging, pleading, promising to change, apologizing excessively).
When you interact with her in ways that spark her feelings, everything changes.
The process of getting your ex back then becomes very easy.