5 ways you can ensure that she doesn’t see other guys while you’re on a break:
1. Don’t try to get her to promise to not see other guys
You might be tempted to say something like, “Okay, I accept that we need to take a break, but promise me you’re not going to start seeing other guys during this time,” but you shouldn’t.
Trying to prevent her from seeing other guys simply makes her want to do it more because she feels turned off by the fact that you see other guys as being better than you.
You should never, ever see other guys as being competition for your girl.
As a man, you always have to see yourself as the man, as being more than good enough for you woman and as being irreplaceable.
There is only one you.
No other guy compares.
That’s how you need to think because it stops you from ever becoming insecure and jealous and it also maintains and builds on your woman’s attraction for you over time.
Yet, if you try to convince her to not see other guys while you’re on a break from the relationship, she will simply feel compelled to do it to spite you (i.e. to feel like she is free to do whatever wants) and because she feels turned off (i.e. based on you seeing other guys as being better than you).
She then begins to think something like, “Maybe he thinks that if I hook up with other guys, I will realize that I can do better than him and then dump him for real. If he feels that way about himself, then it only highlights to me that I could be settling for a guy who isn’t good enough for me after all. Maybe I can do better. Maybe I should try dating other guys to see how I feel.”
So, if you want your girl to feel motivated to remain faithful to you while you’re on a break from each other, don’t go acting like an insecure guy who is worried about another guy being better than you.
What she wants to see from you is that you believe in yourself and in your value to her, regardless of what she says or does to try to make you feel insecure.
She also wants to see that, even if she mentions hanging out with other guys or even dating another guy, you still don’t lose confidence because you know that you are the best.
She won’t tell you that of course, but it’s what she really wants from you.
Additionally, apart from feeling turned off if you are being insecure and worrying about other guys, she will also feel angry and annoyed if you try to control her or restrict her freedom while you’re on a break.
In many cases, if a guy tries to convince his girlfriend to remain faithful while they’re on a break, she will date and sleep with new guys just so she doesn’t feel controlled and restricted.
She will want to defy her ex and reclaim her sense of freedom and individuality and as a result, she may even end up having a one stand or sleeping with a guy on the first date.
So, whatever you do, don’t make the classic mistake of trying to control a girlfriend while you’re on a break from each other.
It simply doesn’t work and almost always backfires.
What you should do instead is…
2. Make her feel attracted to you in new ways before you take a break
If you want her to regret the break and feel compelled to get back with you as soon as possible, make sure that you leave her feeling very attracted to you.
When she is attracted to you, she won’t be able to stop herself from missing you and wanting to see you again, especially when she is feeling horny and wants someone to have sex with.
Yet, if she walks away feeling more like a friend to you, or a girlfriend that used to be attracted to you, but no longer feels enough of a spark, then she won’t feel that need to get back with you asap.
Instead, if she is feeling horny, she will direct that feeling towards new men and start seeing other guys while you’re on a break.
After all, she is human and she does get horny.
If she feels horny and doesn’t miss you or want to do it with you, then she can easily get laid by arranging dates via a dating app, going out to party with her girlfriends or hooking up with one of the guys that likes her (e.g. coworker, friend, friend of a friend, old crush, ex boyfriend), but hasn’t made any moves because she has been in a relationship.
So, before you and her officially take a break, make sure that you put in some extra effort to attract her in new ways.
Use ballsy humor when talking to her, rather than being too nice, polite or reserved with your humor or conversation style.
Flirt with her to create some sexual attraction between you and her, so she feels like the spark is still there.
Make her feel girly and feminine in comparison to your masculine approach to conversations and interactions, so other guys (who are neutral, nice and only friendly to her) seem less attractive compared to you.
If you already use that kind of approach with her (rare), then try to think of new ways to attract her instead.
For example: Sometimes a guy is very confident around his girlfriend, uses ballsy or challenging humor, flirts with her, creates sexual tension so she wants him and is very masculine around her.
As a result, she feels attracted to him.
Yet, what is missing from the attraction experience in the relationship is him being more open, loving, appreciative and committed.
If he shows glimpses of that prior to the break, she will naturally feel curious about whether he could be like that more often and as a result, she will cancel the break by contacting him again and wanting to see him.
So, before you and her officially begin the break, make sure that you are making her feel sparks of attraction in new, interesting and appealing ways.
If you do that, she will walk away feeling like she is missing out, which will make her want to interact with you or see you again, rather than seeing other guys.
Another thing you can do to help ensure that she doesn’t see other guys while you’re on a break, is…
3. Let her see that you’re not hurting from the break up and are feeling confident and happy about life
If your girlfriend wants to take a break, but you love her and want to be with her, it can really hurt your confidence and happiness.
Yet, if you want to re-attract her, make her want to stop the break and get back together, then it’s essential that you don’t say or do things that turn her off.
Instead, you only say and do things that make women feel attracted to men.
Two very attractive traits that a man can display to a woman after a break up, or during a temporary break, are emotional strength (i.e. confidence, self-assuredness, high self-esteem) and emotional independence (i.e. not needy, you don’t need her to feel good about yourself).
Women are naturally attracted to men who have the emotional strength and independence to remain confident, happy and forward moving in life, regardless of whether a woman is by his side or not.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t understand that and instead, mistakenly assume that appearing sad, lost or lonely without her will show her how loyal he is to her and then, she will want him back.
A guy like that may think something like, “I can’t get on with my life and feel happy without her. That would imply I don’t want her back, which is far from the truth. I want her back so much that even taking a break feels like torture to me. If I gave her the impression that I was happy without her, she would assume that I was over her. Then, it would motivate her to see other guys. That’s why I think it’s better if I show her how sad and unhappy I feel without her, so she can realize the depth of my love for her. Then, maybe she will stay faithful and even want to get back together because she will realize that no other guy will love her as much as I do.”
I feel sorry for guys like that because they simply do not understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works.
As a result, they struggle with women for many years or decades in their life and in some cases, their entire life.
If you want to be successful with women (including getting your ex to not see other guys during your break and then want you back), you have to say and do the things that make her (and women in general) feel magnetically attracted to you.
So, the next time you interact with her (i.e. over the phone or in person), you must ensure that she senses your confidence and emotional independence, rather than your insecurity or emotional dependence (i.e. neediness for her).
If she senses neediness and insecurity, she might just decide right then and there that a real break up is a better option for her.
Of course, she probably tell you that because she won’t want you pleading with her to give you another chance.
Instead, she will silently decide and then say that it’s only a temporary break and you and her may get back together after that.
Then, she will do everything in her power to quickly start seeing other guys, so she can eventually tell you, “Sorry, but I met someone else while we were on a break. I wasn’t intending it. It just happened. We’ve been dating for a couple of weeks now and I’m really happy. So, I ask that you respect my new relationship by not contacting me anymore.”
So, don’t show neediness or insecurity at all.
Don’t make her feel like she would be doing you a favor by getting back with you because you need her back to feel good about yourself again.
Don’t do that.
Understand that she wants to feel as though you could easily have other women if you wanted to (i.e. because you are so confident and know how to attract women), but you are choosing her.
Don’t tell her that.
Let her feel it based on your confidence and ability to attract her as you interact with her.
Women know when a guy ‘gets it’ and when he doesn’t, in terms of attracting women.
Some guys are totally clueless, others fumble their way into relationships and others know exactly how to attract women and make women want them.
If you are the kind of guy who understands how to attract and seduce women, then she will feel turned on by that, even if she never admits to you.
So, when you interact with her, let her sense that you are happy, confident and enjoying life without her.
Of course, don’t rub your happiness in her face (e.g. talk about how great your life is now that you and her are on a break, talk about other girls hitting on you, saying that the break has been the best thing that has happened to you in a long time).
Instead, just let her sense your confidence and happiness based on how you talk to and interact with her, while also making her feel good about herself too while she’s interacting with you.
If you do that, she will realize that you are one of those rare men who is both confident and loving at the same time.
Men like that are a catch and women know, so she will then feel drawn to you and want to get back together before another quality woman meets you and wants you.
Another thing you can do to help ensure that she doesn’t see other guys while you’re on a break, is…
4. Post up photos on social media of you having fun with new people and doing new things
Put it this way…
You can either sit around feeling lonely, left out and waiting for your girl to hopefully come back one day, or you can use the time apart to quickly become a more appealing man so she wants you back.
You might not be in the mood to have fun with new people while on a break with her (e.g. because you’re feeling rejected, you only want her, other women don’t make you feel the same way), but you’ve got to do what will attract her back to asap.
If you let her see that you’re lonely or just alone during the break, while she’s out having a great time with friends (and possibly seeing other guys), then you’re not going to seem very appealing to her, especially if she meets a new guy that she finds very attractive.
So, while and her are on a break, push yourself to:
- Have some fun with your friends, especially if you’ve been neglecting that because of the relationship with her.
- Go out to parties, the beach, concerts, festivals or clubs with friends and post up photos on social media.
- Try new things that involve other people (e.g. a mixed martial arts course, group exercise glass, go on a bar tour or pub crawl in your city even though you’re not a tourist, hold a house party or invite a bunch of friends to party at a bar or club, participate in a wine tasting night, join a sports team fan club and attend some events where people meet up and hang out, invite a bunch of friends to the beach or to play some sort of ball game at the park, go to a festival with a friend and talk to some random people or just have fun there with your friend and post up photos on social media).
The important thing is that she sees you having fun with other people.
Photos of you on your own, with a pet, of a pet, of landscapes, of the food you’re eating, at the beach by yourself, or other lonely photos do not work to re-attract an ex.
Women aren’t attracted to lonely, left out men.
Women are attracted to men who are confident and enjoying life, regardless of whether a woman is by his side or not.
So, during the break, she will feel attracted to you if she can photos or videos of you smiling, looking confident and happy around other people.
Photos or videos like that give her real evidence, so she can believe that you aren’t just sitting around feeling lonely and sad without her.
Instead, you seem confident and like you are enjoying life, which will naturally make other women feel attracted to you.
Your girlfriend can then begin to worry that if she doesn’t get back with you right away or soon, another girl might snap you up.
You might really like the new girl and not want to get back with her, so to avoid feeling rejected and left behind like that, she will want to cancel the break and see you as soon as possible.
5. Focus on improving your ability to attract her, so you are totally prepared and ready to wow her the next time you interact with her
If your current approach to attraction in the relationship doesn’t make her feel like she should stick with you, then she’s probably not going to want to remain faithful during the break.
She will almost certainly want to experiment with new guys to see how she feels (i.e. Do they make her feel more attracted and in love? Do they naturally understand more about what a woman really wants compared to you?).
So, while you’re on a break, make sure that you put in some effort to understand the missing gaps in the attraction experience you have been offering her.
For example: If you’ve been too timid, nice or reserved around her, but you sense that she wants you to be more ballsy and challenging, then learn how to be like that and get ready to let her experience it.
If you’ve been too closed up emotionally because you’re worried about her judging you or rejecting you and you sense that it has caused you and her to feel distant, or to struggle to connect deeply, then learn how to be emotionally ballsy and real.
If you’ve been too clingy, needy and emotionally sensitive and you know that you shouldn’t be, then learn how to be more emotionally independent and strong.
Then, when you next interact with her and she senses that you can now offer her the kind of attraction experience she really wants, she will naturally feel drawn to you and want to be with you.
Yet, if you interact with her again and she senses that nothing much has changed and other guys she has met have made her feel more attracted, then she’s not going to feel compelled to get back with you.
As a result, she will either want to extend the break up, ask for a little more space (so she has more time to find a replacement guy), or she will say that it’s better if you and her just remain friends for now.
4 Common Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Convince Your Girl Not to See Other Guys While You’re on a Break
1. Letting her see that she holds all the power now because you are worried that she will sleep with another guy and decide not to get back with you
Almost all women prefer to be in the position where they are trying to win more of your love and commitment, not the other way round.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys never realize that and spend their entire lives trying hard to get a woman to love them as much as they love her by treating her as nicely as possible, buying her things, making her life as easy and convenient as possible, helping her in any way they can and so on.
Yet, all it takes for a woman to lose interest in a guy like that, is for her to meet a man who makes her feel the need to impress him and win more and more of his interest.
In other words, the guy is a challenge.
Women love that, but don’t usually go around admitting it (especially to their boyfriend) because they don’t want guys to get the wrong idea and start acting like assholes.
Instead, they just keep quiet and naturally feel attracted to guys who get it.
The guys who are clueless about it simply get friend zoned by women they like, rejected when in a relationship, cheated on or dumped (or divorced).
It’s pretty sad, but it’s one of the most common experiences for men out there because they simply don’t understand what attracts women, or they don’t want to accept it.
For example: A lot of guys want women to be attracted to niceness, politeness and generosity, rather than being attracted to a good guy who makes her feel the need to be nice, polite and generous with him.
Guys essentially want to ‘save’ women, but women aren’t looking to be saved.
Women want to be madly in love and they can only feel that way with a guy who is a challenge to acquire and keep.
That’s the reality.
When a guy isn’t aware of that, he might worry so much about his girl cheating on him during the break that he will say things like, “Please promise me you won’t see other guys when we’re apart” or, “Let’s agree not to see other people while we’re on this break, okay?”
What he doesn’t realize, is that by showing her his weakness (i.e. his fear of her hooking up with other guys, his insecurity that other guys might be more attractive to her than him), he is failing to be the challenge that pretty every woman on the planet wishes she had when it comes to a man.
He’s also making her feel like she has power over him that she doesn’t want.
Unfortunately, that then leads to her losing respect and attraction for him.
As a result, she might begin to wonder things like, “What did I ever see in him? He’s so insecure and needy these days. Has he always been like that, but seemed confident because I was showing him interest? Is he one of those guys who can only feel confident when a woman is being reassuring? Maybe this break is going to end up being permanent because I really don’t see myself getting back with him at this point. He’s just not confident enough for a woman like me.”
She will then open herself up to meeting new men and if she meets a more confident man who can handle her type of personality and make her feel a lot of attraction, she will be drawn to him.
She may even start seeing him and fall in love with him.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Trying to convince her with your words, rather than with her feelings
Right now, it doesn’t matter what you say to her.
What matters is how you make her feel.
If you try to convince her to remain faithful by providing her a list of reasons (e.g. guys will only want to use her for sex, there are so many STDs out there these days, you love her more than anything), she’s just not going to listen.
The only thing that will stop her from wanting to see other guys while you’re on break, is to make her feel so attracted to the new and improved you that she realizes other guys pale in comparison to you.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Not giving her a sense that she really could be losing you
If she gets the sense that you’re just going to wait around for her while you and her are on a break, then she won’t feel compelled to get back with you quickly.
Instead, she can think, “I don’t have anything to worry about because he can’t get other girls like me, so he’ll wait. Even if I hook up with other guys, he’s going to forgive me and take me back. So, I’m just going to enjoy myself and if I find a new guy that I like, I’ll start seeing him. If I get bored and want to see my ex, I might do that too.”
Yet, if she meets a guy that she finds more attractive and exciting to be with, she may end up getting serious with him and even falling in love with him.
This is why you need to give her the sense that she really could be losing you for real.
You might even say to her, “Okay, well I accept the break, but you need to know that you and I will probably never get back together. I can’t guarantee that I will still be available for you after the break.”
As a result, she feels like this could be it.
You might meet another girl, who she might see as being prettier than her.
If that happens, she will feel rejected and like she is the one being left behind.
To avoid feeling that way, she will want to cancel the break and get back with you, or at least keep seeing you for a while to see how she feels.
Yet, if you give her the sense that you won’t be doing anything and will be sitting around waiting for her to return after being faithful to you, then you will probably end up very disappointed.
Remember: Women are attracted to emotional independence in men, not emotional dependence, so don’t display emotional dependence (i.e. neediness for her, the need to get back with her to feel good about yourself again).
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Trying to control her activities or decision making while on a break from you
If she feels like you are trying to restrict her during the break, she will naturally want to defy you and be a little naughty, just so she can feel like she owns her own life.
So, if you don’t want to push your girlfriend into another man’s arms while you’re on break, then don’t tell her what to do.
If you want her to remain faithful and come back to you asap, then you need to focus on how much attraction you are making her feel.
The more attracted she feels to you, the less appealing other guys will seem to her.
Making her feel attracted isn’t about improving your physical appearance, buying new clothes or going to gym.
It’s about what you say and do when you interact with her via text, on the phone and in person, as well as how you make her feel via social media.
You can easily attract her in those ways and cause her to regret taking a break from you and want you back right away.