To get an ex back who cheated on you, you need to do the following things…
1. Figure Out What Really Caused Her to Seek Sexual Fulfillment With Another Guy
If your ex cheated on you, then something about your attitude or behavior in the relationship may have caused her to see another guy (or guys) as a better option.
For example: You became insecure and she then felt more attracted to confident guys, or you started out being nice and then became jealous and controlling.
Naturally, this doesn’t mean that her cheating on you is all your fault and that you’re a terrible guy.
In some cases, a woman just has a bad character and enjoys lying and cheating her way through life.
Based on all my research, experience with women and experience helping men get their ex back, I’ve found that about 5% of women fall into that category of being lying, devious types who will always lie, cheat and deceive no matter what.
With that type of woman, you are better to cut your losses and move on because she will never be trustworthy.
Of course, there are also some women who lie just to get a relationship going for a while.
For example: Your ex may even have gotten involved with you, while in the back of her mind, she was always thinking, “This is good for now, but I’m only going to stay with him until a better guy comes along. I don’t want to go through the paint of a break up and have no boyfriend, so I will cheat on him and get right into a new relationship with the new guy. If a relationship doesn’t happen, at least it will be me who cheated on him and made him hurt, rather than me getting dumped or cheated on.”
Those kinds of women exist.
The only way to keep a woman like that is to change and become a better man that attracts her and makes her respect you on a much deeper level.
You’ve got to get her to stage 5 of a relationship and keep it there.
If you do, she won’t cheat on you or leave you.
However, if she does, it will be her loss and she will know it.
She will then come running back to you and begging for another chance because women know how difficult it is to find a man who can keep a relationship at stage 5.
Most guys have no idea how to get a relationship to stage 5 and keep it there and women know that.
So, when you have the ability to get the relationship to stage 5 (blissful love), your ex will never want to leave you again.
Of course, you can’t just go to her and say, “Hey, I’ve worked out how to have a successful relationship now. Let’s give it another try.”
Instead, you have start being the sort of guy who displays the traits and characteristics of a man who can get a relationship to stage 5 and keep it there.
For example: You are emotionally strong and mature, you make her feel like a real woman, you make her feel deeply attracted to you just by the way you talk to her and behave around her.
So, if you want to get your ex back, you must become clear on what really caused her to seek sexual fulfillment with another man.
Was it because you stuffed up, or was it because she is an untrustworthy, lying, devious woman?
If you believe that your ex is a woman who is loyal and has good character, then her reasons for cheating on you are essentially your fault.
I know that’s not nice to hear, but I’m here to help you not baby you.
I’ve got to make sure that you get your ex back, rather than blame her for everything, tell you to move on and not even help you.
I want you to get her back.
I know you can do it too.
First, you need to understand where you went wrong.
For example: Some of the reasons why a woman might cheat on a man are…
- She stopped feeling love, respect and attraction for him because he became insecure.
- She stopped feeling like a sexy, attractive woman around him because he took her for granted and ended up treating her more like a friend than his woman.
- The sexual spark went out in the relationship because he became emotionally sensitive and wasn’t enough of a man for her anymore.
- She might be trying to get back at him for hurting her in some way.
If the cheating was her fault, then here are some of the reasons why she might have done it:
- She has been cheated on before and was constantly afraid that it would happen to her again, so she cheated first to avoid the pain of being cheated on.
- She felt as though that the relationship was going nowhere (e.g. you and her weren’t really making much progress as a couple), so used cheating as a way to quickly get out of the relationship.
- She is a woman of bad character who enjoys lying and cheating.
- She wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship with one guy, even though she said she was in the beginning to get you to commit to her.
- She made a silly mistake (e.g. she got drunk and it happened) and now regrets it.
If it was her fault, then the best approach is to show her that you’re not sitting around alone and just waiting for her.
You’ve got to show her that you are happy, having fun and enjoying life with other people (e.g. hanging out with friends, doing new things).
If possible, let her see that you also have women interested in you or, if you’re up for it, are already dating new women.
That will make her feel as though things are even between you and her, so she will feel less guilty about getting back with you.
Many women don’t want to get back with a guy that they cheated on because they feel bad about having had sex with someone else, while he didn’t do anything.
They also fear that he will continually bring it up and use it against her to control her with guilt in the relationship.
So, having sex with a new woman is actually a good way to settle the score and let her feel like she’s not that bad after all and that you and her can now start again on a clean slate.
Of course, if you don’t want to hook up with another woman, you definitely don’t have to.
If you just want to get her back, you can do that too.
How do you do that?
Once you fully understand where you really went wrong with her (e.g. you were too insecure, you weren’t man enough for her, you became controlling), you can then make the correct changes and adjustments to your thinking and behavior and give her the attraction experience that she really wants from a relationship.
Then, when you interact with her (e.g. via text, e-mail, on a phone call, or in person), she will be able to see for herself that you really have changed and are now more of the man that she really wants.
When you are saying and doing things to actively make her feel sexually attracted to you again, she stops holding on to negative memories of what happened between you and her in the past.
She then begins to allow herself to have feelings such as respect, attraction, and love for you once again.
Another important part about how to get an ex back after she cheated on you is to…
2. Improve Your Ability to Make Her Feel Attracted to You in the Ways That Really Matter to Her
When a woman cheats on her guy, it’s often because she is eager to experience the type of sexual attraction that she feels is lacking in her relationship with him.
For example: If a guy is too wimpy and allows his woman to push him around and dominate him, she will naturally start to feel more like the man in the relationship.
Obviously, women don’t want to feel that way.
A woman wants to feel like a real woman (i.e. feminine, girly, free to be emotional while her man remains emotionally strong and stable).
So, if a guy isn’t able to give her that kind of attraction experience in a relationship, she will feel as though she cannot relax into thinking, feeling, behaving and taking action like the feminine woman she really is.
She might then look outside of her relationship with her guy, to find a man who is more emotionally masculine and ballsy, thus allowing her to feel more feminine and girly around him.
Another example is where a guy was belittling and criticizing his woman on a regular basis (e.g. by putting her down in private and in front of others, making fun of her thoughts and ideas, pointing out her mistakes, always trying to show her that he is smarter than her).
This type of behavior will cause her to lose respect for him over time and feel as though they aren’t in a loving, supportive relationship.
She will then hook up with a guy who treats her with respect and values what she has to say.
So, not only does she get the attraction experience that she really wants from the other man, she also succeeds in getting revenge on her guy for treating her so badly in the relationship.
He is then left devastated and his whole world comes crashing down because he once had so much power and control over his woman and now he has nothing.
She would have given him plenty of warnings before cheating on him (e.g. “I won’t put up with this for much longer” or, “I’m getting tired of how you treat me”), but he didn’t listen.
She then sought to fill the emotional gap that was missing in their relationship by hooking up with a new guy who treated her the way she really wanted to be treated, even if she only had a one night stand with him.
So, here’s what you need to remember:
If you want to get her back, you have to be the one filling the emotional gaps and giving her the attraction experience she really wants when around a guy.
You don’t have to become perfect to get her back.
Instead, you simply need to make some adjustments to your thinking and behavior, so that when you next interact with your ex, you are able to make her feel attracted in the ways that really matter to her.
When you do that, she will change how she feels about you and become open to giving the relationship another chance.
Some of the ways that you can make her feel attracted are by:
- Making her feel feminine and girly in your masculine presence.
- Behaving differently around her (e.g. if you allowed her to push you around in the past, you now stand up to her. If you were insecure before, you are now confident and emotionally strong no matter what she says or does around you).
- Making her feel happy to be around you by getting her to smile and laugh.
- Flirting with her to create a sexual spark between you and her.
By making some adjustments to your behavior and the way you think, talk and behave, she starts to see you in a different light.
She then begins to wonder, “Can we possibly make things work after everything that happened between us? Can we make a fresh start? I think we can.”
She might feel confused about her newfound feelings of respect and attraction for you, but she won’t be able to stop it from happening.
She will feel drawn to you and feel compelled to give the relationship another chance, even though she stuffed things up in the first place by cheating on you.
3. Interact With Her and Make Her Feel Attracted to the New, Improved Version of You
If you want to get an ex back who cheated on you, then you will usually need to be active about it.
In other words, you can’t sit around for weeks and even months, thinking things like, “I miss her, but I don’t know how to get her back,” in the hopes that she will randomly contact you and ask you to get back together again.
After dealing with hundreds of ex back cases, I’ve found that it rarely (if ever) happens.
Even if a woman still has feelings for her ex and is hoping that they can get back together again, she will rarely make the first move, for a number of different reasons.
Sometimes, when a woman cheated on her ex, she might not contact him because she’s feeling guilty and may be thinking, “What if I call him and he’s still angry with me? He will probably just laugh at me and tell me to get lost. It’s possibly too late to make things better between us. I stuffed up and now I have to live with the consequences of my actions.”
On the other hand, if a woman cheated on her man because she didn’t have feelings for him anymore (e.g. he became insecure and really turned her off), then she’s not going to contact him because she just won’t care about him anymore.
She’s just going to think, “It’s over. We’re broken up. I’ve moved on and I hope he’s doing the same. I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”
So, if you want to get your ex back, you have to be the one who makes the first move rather than waiting and hoping that she does it.
You need to actively interact with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) and make her feel something for you again.
For example: Some of the ways you can make your ex feel some respect and attraction for you pretty quickly are:
- Making her smile, laugh and feel good when talking to you.
- Showing her by the way you now talk, think, behave, interact with her and respond to what she says and does that you’re no longer the man she cheated on (e.g. you’re more confident now, you’re assertive and don’t let her, or anyone, else push you around or treat you with disrespect).
- Making her feel feminine and girly in your presence.
- Being more emotionally dominant than her, thus allowing her to feel like a real woman around you.
- Letting her know that even though you love her and want her back, you are happy and enjoying life without her.
When you interact with your ex in some of these ways, she begins to feel impressed by the new you.
She sees for herself that you are no longer at the same level you were at when the two of you broke up.
She’s suddenly faced with the kind of man she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to.
Then, the idea of getting back together again and actually experiencing a long-lasting and loving relationship with each other, doesn’t seem impossible to her anymore.
So, just get her on a phone call with you right away.
Make her laugh, smile and feel happy to be talking to you again and then get her to meet up with you in person.
Another important part of getting an ex back who cheated on you is to…
4. Hook Up Again Sexually
No matter how great things might be going between you and your ex over the phone or via text, it won’t make much of a difference if you don’t meet up with her in person and have sex again.
When you re-attract her in person and then have sex with her, she begins to feel a new type of respect, attraction and love for you.
It feels good, different and exciting.
So, don’t waste anymore time sitting around hoping that things magically change on their own.
Meet up with her, let her experience the changes you’ve made to yourself since the break up and then have sex with her.
5. Have a Discussion About Whether She Thinks She’d Ever Do it Again
After having sex with her again, she will be much more open to discussing the idea of having a relationship with you again.
However, if you try to have that discussion prior to sex, she will just say things like, “I don’t wan to talk about it,” or “Don’t bring that stuff up. If that’s all you want to talk about, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
So, make sure that you get to sex first.
As for her talking about whether or not she would cheat on you again, this is an important subject to bring up to maintain your self respect and let her see that you’re not just going to get back into a committed relationship if she thinks she would do it again.
Everyone makes mistakes and this time it was most likely her fault.
However, before you decide to get back together with her, you need to have a heart-to-heart discussion (without any shouting or accusations) about whether or not it would be possible for her to stay with you in a monogamous, loving relationship and not feel tempted to stray again.
If she says something like, “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure if I will be able to stop myself from cheating again,” it’s best that you cut your ties with her at that point and find yourself another woman who will be loyal to you.
Here’s the thing..
If she can’t promise to be faithful to you and you still want a committed relationship with her, you need to seriously ask yourself why.
Could it be because you lack confidence in yourself and don’t believe you can find another woman other than her?
If that is the case, then it’s more important for you to start believing in yourself, than it is to get her back.
Watch this video…
Regardless of whether you want to get her back or not, you must to get yourself the point where you know that you deserve better than a woman who isn’t 100% loyal, loving and devoted to you.
If you don’t, you’ll keep getting cheated on by her or by other women that you get into relationships with.
On the other hand, if your ex says that she’s sorry for what happened and that she’ll never do it again, you need to decide then and there to forgive her and continue on with the relationship.
You can’t be the one holding grudges and then expecting the relationship to last.
When Getting an Ex Back Who Cheated On You, Avoid Make the Following Mistakes
If you and your ex decide to hook up again regardless of the fact that she cheated, you need to start with a clean slate.
If you get her back and then continue to behave in ways that turned her off before, she will most-likely end up cheating on you again.
So, some mistakes to avoid making are…
1. Taking her back without the ability to keep her attracted and build on her feelings over time.
It’s your responsibility as the man to maintain and grow the love, respect and attraction between you and a woman over time.
People don’t talk about in the media, at the dinner table or even amongst friends because it seems politically correct and unfair, but that is the way it really goes.
If a man lacks the relationship skills required to keep a relationship together by deepening his woman’s feelings over time, she will break up with him or cheat on him.
There’s no way around it, which is why there is such a high divorce and break up rate (even for men who are rich and successful and famous).
You have to know how to keep her attracted and build on her feelings over time.
So, when you and her get back together again, you can’t just assume that everything is now okay and then do nothing to deepen her feelings of respect, attraction and love.
Women hate it when they are seduced back into a relationship with an ex who promises that things will be different this time, only to discover that he still doesn’t even know how to keep her attracted and guide her into deeper feelings of love and respect over time.
If you want the relationship to last the second time around, you need make your ex feel strong, intense feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you.
Don’t worry – it’s easy to do.
In fact, it takes 100 times less effort to do that than to do what most guys do (e.g. sucking up to her, buying her gifts, doing chores for her) when trying to get an ex back and keep a relationship together.
When you naturally and easily make her have strong feelings for you again, she will then allow herself to fall madly in love with you and open her heart and mind to the experience of being in a loving, committed relationship with you again.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Not being able to stop yourself from feeling insecure if she is hanging out with other people, or partying without you.
Sometimes, when a guy gets back with an ex who cheated on him, it becomes very difficult for him to stop feeling insecure when she’s not in his sight.
He might say to himself, “Now that she has cheated, I can’t be sure about what she will be up to if we’re not together. What if she meets another guy who makes her feel attracted? Will she be tempted to cheat again?”
As a result, he may then become clingy, needy or jealous and controlling even though he doesn’t want to.
The thought of her having sex with yet another guy, or with the same guy that she cheated on him with just makes him feel crazy.
He might try to disguise his insecurity by casually texting her and calling her every day as if he’s just calling to say hi, but he will really be trying to check up on her and see what she’s up to.
He might also continually check her social media profiles to see if she has added any new male friends, if any new guys are clicking like or commenting and if she’s in any photos with new guys that he doesn’t know.
All of that worrying just drives him mad and he ends up behaving like a completely different person than he used to be when the relationship first started, which completely turns her off.
Of course, being like that is the quickest way to make a woman lose respect and attraction and potentially push her into the arms of another guy.
So, what should you do instead?
As long as you are now making her feel the way that she wants to feel when she’s with you (e.g. sexy, feminine and girly, loved and appreciated) then there’s no reason why she would look at another guy when she’s not with you.
You can’t control what she gets up to behind your back though. You can only control how you think, behave and react around her.
When you believe in yourself and know that you are more than good enough for her, that confidence and emotional strength will come through and make you way more attractive to her than if you were to be insecure and doubt yourself.
If you are being insecure, she will begin to wonder, “Did I make the right decision in getting back together with him? Can I find a better guy? Do I really want to be stuck with an insecure guy like this? Maybe I should just hook up with another guy and move on completely. That will probably be the best way to fully get rid of my ex because I can see now that he’s not going to change. He still doesn’t understand how to be the kind of confident man that I really want.”
Remember: Confidence and emotional maturity is attractive to her, while insecurity and neediness turns her off.
You’ve got to believe in yourself and in your value to her at all times, regardless of what she says or does to try to make you feel insecure.
3. Becoming too strict on her when the relationship begins again.
As you would understand, you cannot become your woman’s jailer and stop her from going out, or catching up with other people from now on.
Being strict on her and treating her like a naughty little girl that needs to be kept under strict supervision in case she stuffs up again, is the quickest way to make her want to get away from you and the relationship.
If she feels like she can’t relax and be herself, she will just get fed up and break up with you or cheat on you again.
4. Having trust issues.
In a relationship, you have to be able to trust each other fully or else it simply won’t last.
Yes, of course, you now have a very good reason not to trust your ex, but if you’ve made the choice to take her back, then for your sake as well as hers, you need to forgive her and stop holding on to the past.
That doesn’t mean you should be a pushover and avoid any warning signs that she might be cheating again (e.g. she’s secretive, she doesn’t tell you who she’s texting or talking to on the phone, she makes excuses not to see you).
However, if she’s really putting in the effort to be a good, trustworthy girlfriend (fiancé or wife) now, then mistrusting her at every turn will simply erode the relationship to the point of no return.
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