Here are 4 options for you to choose from now:
1. Be her friend, re-attract her, have sex with her again and get her back
You can use the friendship as a way of reawakening her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
The way to approach the friendship is to be available to her, but use any interactions that you have with her to re-attract her sexually and romantically and then seduce her back into a relationship with you.
Don’t make the mistake of hanging around her and pretending that you only want to be her nice, neutral friend and that you’re not sexually interested in her anymore, because if you do that she may take it as a sign that you don’t see her in that way anymore.
If she thinks that, she will then hook up with other guys to move on without you.
If she does that, you might then feel betrayed by her again and possibly even start thinking things like, “I can’t believe she did it to me again! Not only did I forgive her for cheating on me and agree to be her friend, but she now expects me to hang around while she hooks up with other guys. How could she do this to me?”
Here’s the thing…
If you don’t make your ex feel sexually attracted when she’s with you, she will assume that you’re not interested in her anymore, or that there is no spark between you and her anymore.
As a result, she will feel like the best thing for her to do is move on by finding a new man and falling in love with him instead.
So, make sure that you use every interaction you have with your ex from now on, to reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension, rather than ‘playing it safe’ by just acting friendly, neutral or distant.
- Believing in yourself and in your value to her, rather than doubting yourself and then making her feel turned off as a result.
- Making her smile and laugh and feel relaxed to be around you again, rather than trying to get into intense, deep discussions about the relationship.
- Showing her that you’re a new and improved man that she can now truly look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love, rather than continuing to make the same old attraction mistakes as before.
- Being a good man, but also being confident and assertive when talking to her, so she can see that she can’t dominate you during conversations.
- Maintaining your confidence when she tries to make you doubt yourself around her.
Once she is feeling respect and attraction for you again, you can then progress to giving her a hug, a kiss and then hook up with her sexually.
From there, you need to continue saying and doing the types of things that will build on her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you (e.g. be more and more confident when you’re around her, be more ballsy around her than you were before).
When you do that, she will naturally begin to fall back in love with you and want you back all for herself.
Another option is to…
2. Be her friend, make her want you back, but hook up with other women instead to hurt her feelings
You can use the so-called ‘friendship’ with your ex to reactivate her romantic feelings for you (e.g. by using ballsy humor to make her laugh and feel good to be interacting with you again, by standing up to her in an emotionally masculine way when she tries to push you around and thereby making her feel feminine in comparison to you).
Then, when she’s fully re-attracted and possibly saying things like, “I know I messed things up between us before by cheating on you, but if we ever got back together, I promise I would never do that again. I would do anything to make you happy and show you that I regret the mistake I made,” you can begin to hook up with another woman (or women) to hurt her feelings and make her feel like she is being left behind.
If she gets upset with you for moving on with other women, you can say, “Hey, why are you acting like this? I don’t get it. You said you wanted to be friends, so we’re just friends. It’s not like we’re a couple or anything. Besides, did you honestly think I would get back with you after what you did? I’m sorry, but as the saying goes, ‘Once bitten, twice shy.’ I would never be able to trust you again after you cheated on me. So, the best I can offer you is a friendship.”
You will then have gotten your revenge and can move on from there, as she is left behind feeling horrible about herself.
Another option is to…
3. Re-attract her and then ask to hook up with each other sexually one last time to say goodbye
With this option, you can use a friendship with your ex as a way of getting closure and then moving on.
For example: You reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you by interacting with her on a phone call, or in person.
Then, when her walls have come down and she’s feeling open to being with you again, say something like, “Things between us didn’t end in the best possible way, agree? Yet, we can fix that and then move on without either of us having to feel bad about it. We can hook up one more time to say goodbye to each other in a good way. Alternatively, if we decide that we still want to be together, we can start with a clean slate without the past hanging over us, and if we don’t, there will be no hard feelings between us. So, come here…give me a hug” and then move in for a hug.
Then, when you hug her, pull back after about 5-10 seconds and then move in for a kiss.
If she is open to that, then proceed to hook up with her sexually one last time.
You can then hook up with her, blow her mind and get her back if you want to.
Alternatively, you can walk away knowing that she still felt attracted enough to you to want to have sex with you one last time.
If the sex is great, she may end up feeling confused and want you back and it will then be your choice as to whether you give her another chance or not.
Another option is to…
4. Say no to her offer and move on without her
Just because your ex wants to be friends with you after cheating, you are under no obligation to agree to her request.
If you don’t want to stick around and be her friend (e.g. because you don’t want to be friends with a person who isn’t 100% loyal in a relationship, seeing her will only remind you of how she cheated), you don’t have to.
You can simply say something like, “Look, I know you want to be friends and that’s a nice gesture, but I don’t feel the same way. I forgive you for what happened and I don’t hold any grudges against you, but I think for my own peace of mind, it would be better if we just move on from, rather than trying to hold on even as friends. I wish you the best and I hope you will be happy in your life. Good luck and goodbye.”
Then, cut your losses, move on and find yourself another woman who will give you the respect and love that you deserve.
Where Guys Go Wrong With a Cheating Ex Who Wants to Be Friends
If you genuinely want to make things work with your ex, try to avoid making any or all of these mistakes…
1. Saying that you want a relationship or nothing
For example: A guy might say to his ex woman, “You cheated on me, but I’m willing to forgive you and take you back. However, I can’t stick around and be your friend while you date other men. If you want me in your life, you’re going to have to be my girlfriend again. Otherwise, it’s better if we just go our separate ways.”
Although he might feel justified in giving his ex an ultimatum like that, the truth is, if he hasn’t first reawakened her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him, she’s not going to want a relationship.
So, instead of getting her back, which is what he actually wants, he’s more likely to lose her and hear her say, “Well, I offered you a friendship, but if you don’t want that, then I can’t force you. Okay, let’s not talk to each other anymore. Goodbye.”
This is why you shouldn’t give your ex an ultimatum if you want her back.
Instead, just focus on using every interaction that you have with her, to generate feelings of romantic and sexual attraction inside of her.
The more attracted she feels, the more her guard will come down.
When that happens, she will start wanting to get back into a relationship without you having to force her.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Sulking about her offer of a friendship only and trying to seek pity for your emotional pain
For example: A guy might say, “How can you even ask this of me after what you did? Can’t you see that being friends with you will only make me relive the pain you caused me? You know that I still have feelings for you. Even though you cheated on me, I’m willing to forgive you and start over. However, you can’t torture me by expecting me to only be your friend. I just can’t handle that kind of pain.”
Essentially, he’s hoping that by making her feel pity for him, she will change her mind about being friends and agree to get back together again.
Yet, it just doesn’t work like that.
A woman doesn’t want to be manipulated into giving her ex another chance simply because she feels guilty for cheating on him.
Additionally, when a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for her ex enough to cheat on him, she’s not going to think it’s such a big loss if he doesn’t want to be friends with her.
Additionally, seeing a man sulk and seem desperate isn’t attractive to a woman.
Women are naturally attracted to men who maintain control of their emotions and always feel more than good enough for them, rather than guys who lose control of their emotions and feel unworthy.
So, when a guy sulks and seeks pity from his ex woman, she will just use it as another reason to cut him out of her life completely and move on.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Not being aware that you can use a friendship to re-attract her and get her back
Sometimes a guy makes the mistake of assuming that being friends with an ex means he can never get her back.
He then feels disheartened and possibly even says “No,” to her offer to be friends, because he can’t face the thought of interacting with her and not being able to hold her, kiss her and have sex with her.
Alternatively, he hangs around her being a nice, sweet, reliable friend, in the hope that she will one day realize what a great guy he is and give him another chance.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If you decide to reject your ex’s offer to be friends, you will pass up the perfect opportunity to interact with her regularly (on phone calls and in person) and re-attract her, seduce her and get her back.
As a result, getting her back becomes very difficult and she tries to move on with a new guy to get over the pain of the break up.
So, understand that being friends with an ex is a great way to get her back.
Instead of walking away, you can use every interaction that you have with her to reactivate her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel feminine in contrast to your masculine vibe, showing her that you’re now at a new level as a man, being more confident and ballsy than you were before).
The more attracted she feels, the more she will start seeing you as more than just a friend.
You can then hook up with her sexually and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Not being assertive enough when arranging a meet up as friends
Sometimes, when a woman suggests being friends with an ex she cheated on, her idea is to stay in touch with him via text or social media from time to time, but nothing more than that.
So, if her ex then tries to arrange an in-person meet up, she might say, “Ummm…maybe we should just stick to texting for a while” or, “I’m not ready to face you yet after what I did. I need more time.”
In most cases, she is simply testing him to see if he has the confidence and emotional strength to persevere and get an in-person meet up with her, or if he will become self-doubting and give up.
Depending on how he responds, she will either feel a resurgence of respect and attraction for him for being man enough to get her back, or she will lose respect and attraction for him for not believing in himself and in his value to her.
So, if you want your ex back, don’t give up if she doesn’t agree to meet up with you right away.
When you meet up with her, fully reactivate her feelings for you, seduce her and get her back.