If you’re having a difficult time getting over your ex-girlfriend, here are the 5 steps you need to take to get your life back on track without her…
1. First, be 100% sure that you don’t want her back
Would you like to get your ex-girlfriend back and give the relationship another chance, or do want to move on and begin having sex and relationships with new women?
If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, then I recommend that you watch my video about how to get an ex back.
However, if you are 100% certain that you don’t want to get her back and you would prefer to get over her and move on, then draw that line in the sand. Make this the day that you are 100% clear on your intention to move on without her.
From this day onwards, if you are sincere about not wanting to get your ex-girlfriend back, don’t make the mental mistake of stepping back behind that line and into the pain of missing her once again.
You need to make a clear, final decision that you’re going to get over her and move on. Once you make that decision, you need to be begin to step forward and into your new life without her.
To begin your new life, you need to go through step 2 of the process…
2. Improve your ability to attract new women
When a guy has been dumped by a girlfriend, he will often lose a bit of confidence in his ability to attract and keep a woman. He might feel as though if she dumped him, other women will just do the same, so he probably shouldn’t even bother going near them.
If he was in a relationship for a long time, he might have forgotten what it takes to spark a woman’s interest and get her to want to sex with him.
In other words, he will have become “rusty” or lost his mojo with the ladies.
Whatever the case is for you, it’s important that you take a moment to improve your ability to attract new women. If you do, it will make the process of getting over your ex-girlfriend so much easier.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works…
When you’re able to effortlessly attract women by displaying some of the personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that naturally attract women (e.g. confidence, charisma, charm, humor), you will no longer feel as though your life is going to be horrible, lonely and empty without your ex girlfriend in it.
With the ability to attract women during an interaction, you will find that most women feel attracted to you and like you. When that happens, you instantly being to enjoy your choice of women and your ex-girlfriend no longer seems necessary.
3. Approach and have sex with new women
It’s one thing to know how to attract women when you interact with them, but if you don’t actually have the confidence to approach women that you find attractive, then you’ll usually be be stuck thinking about your ex and wishing she was back in your life so you wouldn’t have to be in so much pain.
The good news is that most guys don’t have the confidence to approach women, so when you are one of the rare guys who is confident enough to approach women and you also have the skill of attracting women, most women will be yours for the taking.
So, if you need a boost to your confidence before you go and approach women, watch this video…
I remember when I first started approaching women after I got dumped by my ex-girlfriend (before the internet had people online helping each other).
It took me a while to build up the courage to start approaching, but once I got the hang of it, women really started treating me well. I was shocked when some women actually said things like, “Oh finally…someone came over and talked to us” or “thank you for coming over and saying hi.”
Hearing that blew my mind because I always thought that I’d be interrupting women and they’d see me as a nuisance, think that I was desperate or tell me to go away and not annoy them.
Yet, some women were literally thanking me for coming over and saying hi. Why?
Most guys who approach women are either drunk, nervous, sleazy or are putting on an act of being an even nicer guy than they really are. Women are bored to death the lame approach that 95% of guys use and they just wish that a normal guy would approach them and be real.
By approaching a lot of women (and getting laid like crazy), I discovered that as long as you approach in a confident, easy-going way and are simply being social, most women will open up and start talking to you.
Women know that it’s the man’s role to approach, so if they get approached by a guy who can make them feel attracted, they aren’t going to reject him.
When you first approach, a woman will already feel some attraction for you based on the fact that you have the confidence to approach her in an easy-going, relaxed manner, but you need to build on that attraction by displaying other personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that are naturally attractive to women.
For example: Rather than putting on an act of being a nicer guy than you really are, just have the balls to be authentic and real when you talk to her.
If you’re a good guy, then be a good guy, but don’t become an ass-kissing nice guy in the hope that it will impress her, because it won’t.
Watch this video to understand why…
When guys use the nice guy approach on women, they often feel as though they are being original and that a woman will be impressed and give him a chance simply based on him being such a nice guy.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that pretty much every other guy who is clueless about how to attract women is doing the same thing to her and it bores her to death.
Women want you to walk up and spark their feelings of attraction for you, rather than only allowing her to experience friendly, polite and neutral feelings during an interaction.
4. Experience love with different women
The kind of love that you experience will always be different with each woman.
Sometimes, you will feel a friendly type of love, other times you will feel passionate love and other times it will be more of a spiritual love where you feel like soul mates or that you’re meant to be.
Realizing that the love is different with every woman is an important part of how to get over an ex girlfriend.
Often, a guy will get stuck missing his ex girlfriend and the enjoyable love that they used to share because other girls haven’t been able to make him feel the same way.
If he meets a number of women and none of them compared to his ex, he might begin to believe that he won’t ever be able to find enjoyable love again with another woman.
Yet, from all of my experience helping guys to succeed with women (I’ve been doing this for more than 10 years now), I’ve found that when a guy is thinking like that it’s usually because he hasn’t followed the steps of this 5-step process properly.
For example: He is trying to meet new women, but he still lacks confidence in himself due to the break up or he doesn’t even know how to attract women during an interaction.
Based on his unattractive approach to women, he will only be able to get unattractive or undesirable women interested in him, which will make him miss his ex even more.
So, if you sincerely want to get over your ex girlfriend, you must ensure that you follow the 5 steps of this properly. Start by being 100% sure that you want to move on and if that is a “Yes” and then make sure that you are ready to properly attract women when you interact with them.
If you approach women and turn them off by displaying unattractive traits (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt) or bore them with a typical nice guy act, then you’re not going to get the hot women that will blow your mind and make you quickly get over your ex.
Almost all hot women will settle for nothing less than a confident guy who is able to make them feel attracted in different ways during an interaction (e.g. due to his confidence, charisma, humor, charm).
As long as you have the skill of being able to attract women with your confidence and personality, you will be able to get out there and experience new kinds of love with beautiful, attractive women, which will help you get over your ex girlfriend very quickly.
5. Become a man of purpose
Being a man of purpose essentially means having a life long goal or ambition in life that is very important for you to achieve.
It needs to be more important than your girlfriend (fiance or wife), so that she will always be #2 in your mind, rather than her being what your life is all about.
It might sound harsh to say that about a woman, but it’s actually what women want in a man.
Women hate it when a guy makes the classic mistake of basing his identity, self-esteem and happiness on a relationship.
A woman wants to feel very important to you, she wants to be respect and she wants to be loved, but she wants you to have bigger goals in life than just a relationship.
How is this part of the process of getting over your ex-girlfriend?
Simple: If you were a man of purpose already, you wouldn’t even be reading this article about how to get over your ex girlfriend.
If you were a man of purpose, she most-likely wouldn’t have ever dumped you in the first place, but even if the relationship broke up for other reasons (e.g. you dumped her, you drifted apart, you cheated and then left her, etc), you wouldn’t be feeling as though your life is empty without her in it.
A man of purpose lives a full life and he spends most of his time and energy rising through the levels of his true potential as a man to make his biggest goals, ambitions and dreams a reality.
He doesn’t spend his time stressing about whether his girlfriend is going to cheat on him or leave him, because as long as he treats her well, she will have no reason to want to end the relationship.
She will respect him, look up to him and be proud to be in a relationship with him. Based on his masculine approach to life (i.e. being a man of purpose), she can then relax into being his woman, rather than being his “partner” or friend.
He will know that she is proud to be with him and she will know that it would be her loss if she ever left him. If the relationship did ever break up, he would be absolutely fine with or without her because his identity would not be wholly based on his relationship with her and other women will find him naturally attractive and appealing.
So, what are some examples of purpose?
A man’s purpose in life might be to:
- Become an elite athlete, win and when he is finished competing, transition into coaching or commentating.
- Rise up through the levels of his government job so he can eventually run for office and become a mayor of his city or town, so he can make a difference for his community.
- Build up his business experience so he can eventually lead a business that will revolutionize an industry, improve his country or even change the world.
- Become a skilled musician so he can make high quality, touching music that will be used on TV and in movies and will have a positive impact on the people who hear it.
- Come up with the perfect solution to a problem that many people struggle with.
If you can’t think of anything right now, try completing these sentences in your mind…
- It would be challenging and difficult to achieve, but I’d love to…
- I’ve always dreamed of being able to…
- I want to be the first man to ever…
- I want to change the way that people think about…
- I want to make a difference in this world by…
- My passion in life is…
- I wish I could…
- What I care most about in life is…
- I would have to work hard for a long time to achieve it, but this is what I want to do with my life…
- The one thing that I could do better than most people (or everyone else) is…
- I will look back on my life and feel extremely proud if…
- When I imagine my biggest dreams coming true in the distant future, this is what I see…
- If I could change one thing about the world it would be…
- The way I would like to help my country is…
- The one thing I wish I could change about my local community is…
- My purpose regarding my family is…
- I would be excited to be living life if I was…
Do you have a big dream or ambition that you would love to make real in this lifetime?
Choose a life purpose that will continually challenge you to be your very best self if you are going to achieve it.
Don’t choose something that is easy or that you don’t care about.
Do what you are really passionate about – that is what will keep you determined when you face obstacles (everyone encounters obstacles) along the way to success.
When you focus on your purpose and begin to make progress towards it, you will not only begin to get over your ex, but you will become irresistibly attractive to other women.
Women love it when a man has the courage to stand up and rise through the levels of his true potential, rather than hiding from it because he has a fear of failure or rejection.
When a woman senses that a man has purpose, she will feel naturally attracted and drawn to him. She will know that he is one of the rare ones who has the capacity to make her feel proud and excited to be in love with him for life.
So, what is your purpose? What comes to mind for you when you think of your purpose outside of a relationship with a woman?
It’s not that a woman isn’t important (my wife is the most important person in my life), but your purpose needs to be even more important to you.
Your goals and ambitions should span out as far into the future as you can envision (e.g. 40, 50 or more years into the future).
What you’re aiming for should be something that you feel like you’ve been born to do, that you’re destined to do or that you should be doing with your life.
Your purpose should be something that will always make you become a bigger and better man the more progress you make.
So, for example: If a guy simply wants to learn a new language for the fun of it or work out at the gym to stay fit, that is not going to be his life purpose; it’s just a mere hobby.
If he wants to turn either of those things into part of his purpose, then it should directly link up to his long term plans to achieve his biggest goals and ambitions in life.
If he is learning a language, he should be doing that so he can then get reach to the next level of his purpose goals (e.g. use the language to do international business, be a teacher, translate a book, read literature that was previously out of his reach, communicate with his wife’s family if they speak another language, become an ambassador, etc).
If he is working out relentlessly at the gym and learning a lot about fitness and nutrition, all those hours and all that effort should not be wasted on merely adding some extra muscle for the sake of his appearance.
Instead, it should link up to what he really thinks his purpose in life is. If he is just working out because he likes it and it is taking up most of his spare time, then he is not a man of purpose. He’s just another guy who works out in a gym and doesn’t really know what his life is about.
Guys like that usually struggle to get over an ex girlfriend because they place way too much importance on her and she becomes what his life is about. He spends a lot of time at the gym because it is important to him, but it’s not his purpose in life.
When his girlfriend breaks up with him, he feels like his life is crashing down around him because she was his foundation of identity, happiness and purpose.
If his dedication to the gym and fitness was linked up to bigger goals (e.g. open a gym, become an elite athlete, become an elite fitness coach, etc), then he would be living life on purpose, rather than just wasting time working out.
So, to help yourself get over your ex girlfriend and never have to go through that kind of pain again, decide to become a man of purpose.
I must make this clear though: Being a man of purpose is not about the basic mechanics of life (e.g. getting a job, getting a house, getting a car). Those kind of basic things are not your purpose in life and are simply things that happen as a part of living life in a civilized world.
Your purpose needs to be bigger than that. It needs to be something that you feel like you were born to do. If it really is your purpose, it will challenge you to become a bigger and better man over time.
When you become a man of purpose, your ex girlfriend will instantly begin to seem less important and appealing to you because your identity and happiness will not be based on having her in your life.
As a bonus, you will also become incredibly attractive to women because women feel a deep, lasting attraction for a man who knows who he is and what he wants from life.
So, are you ready to get over your ex-girlfriend? Will you be able to attract a beautiful woman the next time you interact with one? What is your next move going to be?