Here’s what you need to do:
1. Make her feel the motivation to want to trust you again
Her motivation to trust you, will come from her feeling attracted to you again and then realizing that she has something to lose now.
So, you need to focus on making her feel attracted to the new and improved you by interacting with her and letting her see that you’re no longer behaving, thinking or reacting the way you used to.
That won’t instantly make her trust you again, but she will begin to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, which will make her feel some motivation to want to forgive you and trust you again.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that and end up begging, pleading and apologizing over and over to a woman, in the hope that she takes pity on them.
Yet, a woman doesn’t want to get back into a relationship with a guy out of pity, or guilt.
She will get back with a guy if she feels compelled via her newfound feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
So, start off by building her feelings for you via text, or social media if she’s currently reluctant to interact with you in any other way.
Then, get to a phone call, video call or in person meet up, rather than just sticking to text.
Don’t make the mistake of getting into a long, drawn out conversation about the relationship or how you stuffed up via texts or social media messages, because too many things can go wrong when using that approach.
For example: She can simply ignore your texts or messages, which will essentially stop the ex back process in its tracks.
Alternatively, she might misinterpret a lot of what you text because she can’t see you and assess your body language, or hear the tone of your voice.
If you apologize to her for what happened via text, rather than thinking something like, “That’s so sweet. He’s taking responsibility for his actions and I appreciate that” she might think, “He probably doesn’t even mean it, he just thinks it’s what I want to hear” or, “Whatever. He’s just trying to suck up to me to get another chance. I will only believe him if I talk to him in person and can see that he is sincere and has really changed.”
As a result, she remains closed off and distant because you’re only texting her and she doesn’t have any real evidence that anything would be different between you and her, or that she’d feel differently.
So, I recommend that you only use text, social media messages or emails as a way to get her on a phone call or video call with you.
On the call, focus on reawakening her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction, so she opens up to meeting up in person.
Then, get her to meet up with you in person, so she can see that not only have you truly changed, but she honestly feels a lot differently around you now (in a positive way).
She looks at you as being a man who has transformed and deserves her forgiveness and trust, based on the significant changes you’ve made and how that now makes her feel.
Another way to get her to trust you again is…
2. Tell her that trust can be felt again and if she feels it now, then it’s okay to go with that feeling
For example: You might say, “I broke your trust. That is true. You were totally right to lose trust in me. However, trust is something that can be felt again. If you can see that I am honestly different now and you naturally feel more trust for me, then you can go with that. You don’t have to block it out and think that it’s impossible to trust me again. If you do that, you’re going to give yourself trust issues. The better thing to do is to be mature about this and understand that trust can be felt again and if you feel it, it’s okay to go with it.”
She then feels more motivated to go with her current feelings towards you (e.g. trust you a bit more, respect the new you), rather than stick to how she felt about the old version of you.
It then becomes easier for you to interact with her and reawaken her feelings for you over the phone and in person, because she’s now more open to it.
You can then build on her feelings and regain more of her trust, which will cause her to feel compelled to give you another chance.
3. Tell her that there is no rush to even think about getting back together
This is a bit of reverse psychology that works so well on women.
It’s just as powerful, by the way, when meeting and dating new women.
When you say, “There’s no rush for us to have sex” or, “We don’t have to have sex right away” it flicks a switch in a woman’s head where she then wants to.
She feels attracted to you and wants to have sex with you, but was holding back to be more ladylike (and therefore, more trustworthy and girlfriend material in your eyes) and now you’re saying that you and her don’t have to have sex right away.
It’s just something that turns women on and makes them want to have sex.
Likewise, when your ex is feeling attracted to you again and wants to get back with you, but you say that there’s no rush to even ‘think’ about getting back together, it makes her want to think about it.
When she thinks about it, she realizes that she is feeling attracted to you again and wants you back, so she then opens up to giving you and the relationship another chance.
Another way to get your ex girlfriend to trust you again is…
4. Let her know that people do make mistakes that can make them seem untrustworthy, even though they are trustworthy
For example: You can say, “Look, I know I stuffed up and I’m not going to make excuses for that. However, I’m sure you know that sometimes people make mistakes that can make them seem untrustworthy, even though they are trustworthy. Sometimes it’s a mistake based on immaturity, or lack of experience. Other times, it can be because a person wasn’t in the right state of mind (e.g. intoxicated by alcohol, angry during an argument). Yet, there were also many times where that same person proved that they are trustworthy. So essentially, a trustworthy person can sometimes slip up and that’s what happened with me. That said, I know now that trust in a relationship can be fragile and even one slip can make a person seem untrustworthy. I’ve learned from my mistake and I hope that you can forgive me. I’m not asking for us to get back together, but I think we are mature enough to at least be friends now.”
Of course, make sure that you are making her feel attracted to you as you talk to her as well (i.e. by being a bit of a challenge, flirting with her, using humor, maintaining confidence in yourself no matter what she says or does), so she feels motivated to want to trust you again and give you another chance.
If you just text her something like that above, or say it in a way where you are pleading with her, then it won’t work.
You need to say something like that while also being attractive as you interact with her, so she feels the motivation to want to forgive you and give the relationship another chance.
So, don’t forget about, or try to avoid the most important thing of all: Her attraction for you.
4 Mistakes That Slow Down the Process of Regaining Her Trust and Getting Her Back
1. Writing a long email or a series of messages or texts to hopefully regain her trust
What some guys don’t realize is that many women see long emails, texts, messages or letters from an ex as being a selfish act.
In most cases, the messages are all about the guy talking about himself, what he wants, what he has realized, what he wants her to realize, how much he cares about her, how much he appreciates the time they spent together and so on.
In other words, it’s pretty much all about him, his feelings and what he cares about.
Even though his intentions are good, a woman will usually see it as being selfish because he is expecting her to read all of his long texts, messages or emails and then trust him again, so he can get her back.
If she doesn’t feel attracted to him, or isn’t in love with him anymore, she will think, “Why should I care?”
The way to make her care is to re-attract her first, so don’t make the mistake of trying to fix everything with apologies, explanations and requests via text, social media messages or emails.
You’ve got to get to the point where she feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you first, otherwise she will almost certainly not feel motivated to trust you again simply based on texts, messages or emails.
The next mistake that can slow down the process of regaining an ex girlfriend’s trust is…
2. Crying to her when apologizing
If you have already ruined your ex girlfriend’s trust in you to be a reliable, emotionally strong and dependable man, then she isn’t going to want to see you lose control of your emotions and cry to her.
It doesn’t matter how sad you feel, or how sorry or bad about how you’ve treated her, or what you did to lose her trust.
Women need to be able to trust in you to be a man that they can depend on to remain strong, no matter what happens.
She might be nice to you if you cry her, but she will be secretly feeling very turned off and disappointed that you are essentially seeking pity from her based on how sad, regretful or down you are feeling about the break up.
It’s totally fine to feel the emotions (i.e. you don’t need to be an unemotional robot. She does want to see that you care), but just don’t lose control of them and cry to her.
3. Apologizing over and over again
Apologizing is important and necessary, doing apologizing over and over again isn’t what will convince her to give you another chance.
Apologizing repeatedly doesn’t actually get to the core of the problem.
Instead, you’re just saying how sorry you are, but those are just words to her.
It doesn’t prove that you really have addressed the problem that led to her losing trust in you, or that you really would never break her trust again in future.
So, don’t bother apologizing to her over again and again.
Instead, give her one brief, genuine apology in a matter of fact way (i.e. get to the point, be real, don’t be too emotional) and then focus on showing her via your attitude, actions, behavior and the way you respond to her from now on that you really have leveled up as a man.
4. Making the conversations between you and her feel exhausting and stressful, rather than easygoing and lighthearted
Getting into stressful conversations about what happened to cause her to lose trust in you, isn’t the way to create exciting, enjoyable and appealing feelings of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her.
Instead of feeling happy and turned on, she feels annoyed, stressed and frustrated as a result of continually focusing on all the things you did wrong in the relationship.
As a result, she wants to get away from you and try to move on.
On the other hand, when you are able to make her feel happy, relaxed, open-minded, easygoing and lighthearted, then she stops focusing on the bad things that happened.
As a result, you and her can establish a new relationship based on her growing trust in who you have now become.