Sometimes a woman will seem to be giving signs that she will take a guy back, but it’s only her being nice or trying to maintain a friendship with her ex.

This is why it’s better not to focus on potential signs that she might want you back and instead, focus on ways to ensure that she does want to get back with you.

Approaching it in that way is much more manly and effective because you’re the one in control and calling the shots, rather than relying on her to lead the way or make a move.

Additionally, by having the confidence and courage to get her back without obvious signs from her, you automatically begin to regain her respect and attraction for you.

It’s then so much easier for you to get her back.

So, here are 11 ways to make sure that she will take you back, even if she’s not showing obvious signs along the way:

1. Don’t try to get her back before re-attracting her

The feelings of attraction have to be mutual between you and her, or at least close to mutual, for her to truly care about wanting to get back together.

If it’s just you who feels attracted and in love and you’re trying to get her back, it will feel unfair to her and she may even say that you’re being selfish.

This is why you absolutely must focus on making her feel attracted to you again first, before trying to accomplish anything else with her.

Attraction comes first and everything else flows on naturally after that.

So, the next time you interact with her, ask yourself:

  • Am I saying and doing things that are making her feel attracted to me (e.g. using humor that actually makes her laugh, being manly so she can feel girly in comparison to me, flirting so there is a sexual spark), or am I behaving in a way that reminds her she’s better off without me (e.g. by being too nice and polite, being nervous, showing insecurity)?
  • When I talk to her, do I make her feel sexy and desirable in my eyes, or do I make her feel like a neutral friend?
    Am I able to make her enjoy the fact that I’m feeling attracted to her and feel attracted in return, or does she feel annoyed because it’s clear that I feel more attracted to her than she does to me and I’ve never been able to improve that?
  • Do I make her feel motivated to treat me well and impress me, or does she feel like she can treat me badly and I’ll put up with it because I’m so desperate to be with her?
    Am I confident and emotionally strong around her, regardless of how little interest she shows in me, or do I become insecure and unsure of myself if she’s not making it obvious that she wants to get back together?

If you’re interacting with her in ways that turn her off, rather than make her feel attracted and you then try to get her back, she will almost certainly reject you.

So, make sure that you are properly prepared to attract her (you can learn it in a matter of hours), before you interact with her again.

2. Don’t offer her a less attractive relationship experience

Sometimes, a guy will go from being confident, cool and the kind of guy that a woman respects, to being insecure, awkward and a real turn off in a matter of weeks or months.

She will then dump him and he will become even worse (e.g. cry, beg, plead) while trying to get another chance.

What a guy like that often doesn’t realize is that the kind of woman who likes a cool, confident guy isn’t going to be attracted to being in a relationship with a guy who has become very weak and desperate.

Instead, she’s just going to feel even more turned off by him.

So, make sure that you build on the qualities and personality traits that your ex found most attractive about you in the past (e.g. if you were confident before, be even more confident now. If you were a cool guy in the past, reconnect with that and level up).

You don’t have to spend weeks or months doing that though.

You can level up in a matter of hours, but you have to be willing to learn and apply what you have learned.

If you do that, you will successfully re-attract her and get another chance because she will realize that her feelings for you aren’t dead.

When she realizes her feelings for you are still alive and well, she will also realize that if she doesn’t give you another chance, you will go from being the guy she dumped and didn’t want to be with, to the one that got away.

So, rather than feeling the pain of being left behind when you meet another woman, she gives you a chance now and sees how she feels afterward.

3. Don’t try to get her to commit to a relationship

A relationship is the very last step of the ex back process, not the first.

So, if you focus on trying to get her to commit to a relationship before re-attracting her, a woman will usually be resistant, closed off and even feel annoyed with you for putting that kind of pressure on her upfront.

She may then decide to block your number, ask you to leave her alone, or unfriend you from social media, which then makes it more difficult for you to regain her trust and get her back.

The best approach to use is to make her feel so attracted to the new you that she is the one who wants to get you to commit, rather than the other way around.

Women love it when a guy makes them feel so attracted that they chase him and finally win him over, but it’s not something they go around admitting.

It’s just something you need to know as a guy and then do.

Unfortunately, most guys don’t know that and other secrets that guys like me know, so they end up pushing women away who would have otherwise stuck with them for life, or married them.

Essentially, a woman feels turned off when a man is desperate for a relationship and turned on when she’s so attracted that she has to use her charm to hopefully win him over.

It’s just how women are.

If a woman can successfully use her charm to get a guy to commit, she gets the man she wants and feels special to have been chosen by him.

If he then continues to subtly make her feel the need to impress him and maintain his interest, her whole life becomes about the love she feels for him and the relationship she wants to maintain with him.

She becomes his woman and dedicates herself to him.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys just don’t know that, or think it would be cruel to do that to a woman.

Yet, they don’t realize that women use the very same approach to cause a man to want to impress them and maintain their interest for life.

It’s not cruelty.

It’s a relationship dynamic that causes a man and a woman to be happy, in love and stick with each other for life.

4. Attract her in ways that she isn’t expecting

Attract her in ways that she isn’t expecting

A woman will often expect her ex to try and get her back using the same approach he used when they first met (e.g. he will be extra nice to her, let her decide on things and get her back, send her flowers, shower her with gifts, be cute via text).

So, she’s ready for what he will try to do.

What she usually isn’t expecting though, is for him to give her the kind of attraction experience she was always secretly hoping for, but never got from him.

For example: A woman might be secretly turned off by her guy for always letting her call the shots, or doing the things she wants to do, just to avoid arguments with her, or because he’s worried she will leave him.

As a result, she ends up feeling more emotionally dominant than him, or like ‘the man’ in the relationship.

In a case like that, if the guy suddenly changes the dynamic between them and becomes more assertive and emotionally dominant (e.g. takes the lead, stands up to her), she will be pleasantly surprised.

She may not show it, but she will be feeling respect and attraction for him again, which will naturally cause her to become open to taking him back.

5. Let her sense that you have changed in the ways that matter to her

There’s a big difference between a guy who talks about how he could change, what he wants to change, why he wants to change and how he’s going to change someday if he gets another chance with his ex vs. a guy who understands what he needs to change, makes adjustments and then attracts his ex back because of it.

So, if you want to make sure that your ex will take you back, you need to level up now (e.g. if you were insecure, you are now more confident. If you were too nice, you are now a good guy while also being more of a challenge. If you were too emotionally distant, you are now more open, but aren’t being desperate about it. If you were too emotionally clingy, you are now more emotionally independent, while still also showing love and interest in a relaxed manner).

When you change, interact with her so she can experience the new you for herself.

Don’t wait a long time to make changes though.

Make changes now, tomorrow or over the next few days and then contact her, interact with her and let her experience it.

If you leave it for too long, she may meet another guy who makes her feel a lot more attraction and love, which will then make it more difficult for you to get her back.

6. Let her sense that she is losing a better version of you

When you and her broke up, you were the kind of man she couldn’t really see herself being with in the future (e.g. you may have become too insecure or emotionally sensitive, or you may have become lazy or lacked ambition in certain ways. You might not have been able to stand up to her anymore because you’d lost so much power in the relationship, so she saw you as a weak man).

Yet, you’re not that guy anymore.

You have leveled up and are now a better version of yourself.

So, when you interact with her from now on, let her discover that for herself.

Don’t tell her that you’re a better man than before, or try to sell yourself and then ask for another chance.

Instead, just let her sense the changes in you based on how you talk, act, behave and react and respond to her.

When she notices that you have become the kind of man she wants in her future (and quickly), she will automatically feel a renewed sense of attraction for you.

As a result, the idea of losing you will feel stressful and scary to her.

She will wonder what will happen if she walks away and then ends up never finding another man like the one you’ve become.

This then causes her to want to take you back rather than risk wasting time with other men.

7. Make her feel romantic love for you again

The main thing that makes a woman feel exciting, romantic love for a man compared to having reluctant, romantic feelings is attraction.

Without attraction, a woman may care about a guy, like him as a person and even respect that he is such a good guy, but she won’t feel romantic love for him.

So, the secret of how to know if she will take you back, is to focus on making her feel attracted to you.

You can do that in so many different ways, such as being more confident than you used to be, flirting with her rather than having neutral, friendly conversations and making her feel girly in comparison to your manly approach to conversations and interactions with her.

When she feels sparks of attraction, she will naturally begin to reconnect with the romantic love she used to feel for you.

As a result, she will naturally want to take you back.

8. Get her to agree to be friends, so you can use the ‘friendship’ to re-attract her

Most women will say “Yes,” to staying friends with an ex, even if it’s only to seem emotionally mature, or so she can phase him out of her life without him realizing it (e.g. they text or call each other less and less, they stop meeting in person).

Of course, you’re not going to let that happen in this case.

Instead, you’re going to simply use the friendship to re-attract her and make her fall back in love.


Not by acting like a nice, sweet, neutral friend who isn’t interested in her in a sexual and romantic way anymore.


You’re going to continue being a good guy to her, while also actively sparking her feelings of attraction for you.

9. Don’t let her sense neediness from you in any way

It’s totally fine to let your ex sense that you’re open to getting back with her, if you’ve re-attracted her first.

However, what you don’t want to do is make her suspect that you need her back to feel better about yourself.

If she senses that you need her back, she will naturally pull away from what she perceives as your emotional weakness, especially if you haven’t re-attracted her.
On the other hand, if she’s feeling attracted again and notices that even though you want her back, you are being relaxed about it because don’t actually need her back, she will respect you.

When she respects you, she will also feel attracted to you and then, taking you back for another chance will make perfect sense to her.

10. Avoid communicating in ways that annoy her

For example: A guy might know that his ex woman is feeling annoyed due to his texting style, but he continues with it anyway (e.g. texting her way too much, sending her walls of text to express his feelings, trying to discuss the relationship with her and fix things via text).

Alternatively, he knows that she doesn’t like seeing insecurity in him, but he shows it while communicating with her (e.g. he’s nervous and tense, he agrees with whatever she says even when she’s being unreasonable, he becomes jealous and worried if another man’s name is mentioned).

Another example is when a woman has told a guy to stop being so nice all the time and start being more of a man.

Yet, he just can’t do it because he thinks it’s wrong to do anything other than be nice to a woman.

As a result, she feels turned off by him and feels even more determined to continue moving on without him.

11. Get to a meet up after re-attracting her

Don’t try to get a meet up before re-attracting her.

Attraction comes first and everything else flows on naturally after that.

At the meet up, build on her attraction for you, so she naturally reconnects with her romantic love for you and wants to take you back.

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