Here are 5 tips to make your ex respect you as her man again…
1. Become more emotionally strong than you ever have been before
How a guy reacts when he gets broken up with is very important.
Don’t worry if you did react badly (e.g. begged, pleaded with her or even cried).
Most guys don’t handle a break up with a woman very well, so if you messed up – don’t worry, it’s not just you.
You can still recover from your mistakes and get her to respect you again.
From this moment onwards, make sure that you become emotionally stronger than you have ever been before.
For example: When you’re interacting with your ex, you must remain confident no matter what she says or does to mess with you (e.g. if she is cold and distant, if tells you she doesn’t respect you anymore or brings up your past mistakes and says she will never forgive you because of it).
If you can remain emotionally strong and confident no matter what she says or does, she will feel naturally respect and attraction for you, whether she wants to or not.
Of course, each woman requires a different level of emotional strength from a man to feel real respect for him.
The more emotionally strong you are the better, but don’t worry about being perfect.
You’ve just got to let her see and experience the changes in you for herself.
If she liked you and stayed with you in a relationship before when you weren’t as emotionally strong as you are now, then she’s not going to require an extremely high level of emotional strength.
She will just need to see and experience for herself that you have become emotionally stronger and more importantly, she now feels respect and attraction for you as a result.
2. Pass her confidence tests when you interact with her
For your ex to respect you again, she needs to feel that you are now the kind of guy that she could feel proud to call her man.
One of the ways to check if you really are different now, is by testing you to see if you will remain confident and emotionally strong, or if you will crumble at the first sign of resistance from her.
For example: Some of the ways a woman might test her ex man’s confidence is by:
- Teasing him about something he used to be sensitive about (e.g. “I can’t believe you’re still walking around with that dorky hairstyle. It looks horrible.”)
- Playing hard to get (e.g. ignoring most of his text messages and only responding to him once in a while, not talking his calls or refusing to meet up with him the first or second time he asks).
- Acting cold or distant towards (e.g. responding with one or two word answers when he asks her questions, treating him like a stranger who has no right to ask her personal questions).
- Talking about the fun she’s been having since the break up (e.g. saying things like, “It’s so awesome being single again. My friends and I have been going out almost every night. I never realized how restricted I felt in the relationship with you. I love being free now. Single life is great.”)
Testing a guy’s confidence is very important for a woman because it helps her get clear on whether or not he deserves her respect.
If a guy can remain calm when she tests him and use his confidence to get her smiling and laughing, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect for him again as a man.
For example: She teases him about his haircut and he laughs at her and the comment and confidently, but playfully says, “You love it.”
Alternatively, she says that he should be asking her personal questions and he laughs and says, “Relax girl. You take things too seriously.”
Essentially, he shows her who is in control, while also still being a good guy to her.
As a result, she feels respect for the balls that he has and the fact that he can still be a good guy while taking control of a situation.
She then drops her guard and the idea of interacting with him again begins to feel good to her.
On the other hand, if the guy becomes upset or appears hurt by her tests (e.g. his vibe changes, he breaks eye contact, his body language shows that he is feeling rejected or is doubting himself), she will see that he’s still not man enough to handle her and will lose even more respect for him as a result.
So, when you interact with your ex (e.g. via text, e-mail, on social media and especially over the phone and in person) make sure that no matter what she says and does, you remain confident and use humor to turn her bad behavior against her.
Note: Getting her respect back is a lot easier on a phone call or in person, than it is via text.
Women know that pretty much any guy can act confident via text, but talking to her on the phone or in person will be a completely different story altogether.
So, if you need to get your ex’s respect back, I recommend that you steer clear of texting as much as possible and get to a phone call or in person meet up.
That way, she can see that you are for real and as a result, she will feel respect for the new and improved you.
3. Let her see that you are happy, but also make her feel happy about herself when she’s around you
One of the qualities that women feel attracted to in a man is emotional independence.
This means that a guy is able to live a happy, fulfilling and successful life with, or without, a woman by his side or with or without his girlfriend’s (or wife’s) emotional support or encouragement.
Essentially, you are your own man and can stand up, be strong and take on the challenges of life without the need for to be patting you on the back, being extra nice to you and encouraging you along.
If you are emotionally dependent on your ex, she will naturally find it difficult to feel respect and attraction for you, which will make it close to impossible to get another chance with her.
So, if you want to make your ex respect you as her man again, you need to focus on making progress on important things in your life other than her.
- Making real progress towards a big goal that you put on hold for the sake of your relationship with her, or didn’t spend enough time on because you were so focused on her for so long.
- Hanging out with good old friends that you may have neglected.
- Having a good time without her (e.g. going out to party, making new friends, trying new things that interest you).
Then, when you interact with your ex (e.g. on a phone call or in person), make sure that you also make her feel good about herself too, rather than trying to rub your happiness in her face.
Let her talk about what she has been up to you and genuinely try to make her feel good about it, while also allowing details of what you’ve been up to and how great you’ve been to enter into the conversation as well.
When she sees that you’re now the emotionally independent and mature man she always wanted you to be, she won’t be able to stop herself from looking at you in a more positive way and feeling some respect for you.
4. Talk about the progress you’ve been making towards your goals and ambitions in life
Sometimes, when a guy feels like he got lucky to be in a relationship with his woman, he might focus all his attention on her because he’s afraid that she will stray and become interested in someone else.
He might say to himself, “Yes, I have big goals that I want to achieve in life, but my girl is more important to me now. My goals can wait. Besides, when she sees that she’s the most important thing in my life, she will realize how much I love her and she will feel lucky to have a guy like me,” or “My biggest goal in life was to get a beautiful woman like my girlfriend (or wife). Now that I have her, I don’t need anything else. My dreams have come true and from now on, I’m just going to focus my attention on making her happy. I don’t care about trying to be successful or to achieve my other dreams. I just want to spend my time with her.”
Although that might sound sweet or romantic, it’s not what a woman wants.
A woman does want to feel loved and appreciated by her guy and she even wants to be the most important person in his life, but she doesn’t want to be his main source of happiness in life or his reason for existing.
When a man makes his woman his main reason for living (i.e. he gives up on his goals and ambitions), he will eventually begin to behave in a clingy, needy, emotionally submissive way.
If the woman then notices that he has become clingy and needs her constant support and direction in life to feel happy, it will cause her to lose respect and attraction for him as a man.
She will then stop showing him as much affectionate as before, which will make him become even more insecure and clingy.
Soon enough, she will be completely turned off by him and will want to end the relationship.
This is why it’s absolutely essential that a man never makes his woman his purpose in life.
She can be the most important person in your life (my wife is for me by the way), but she cannot be your purpose in life (my purpose is to help you and other men to succeed with women).
You have to treat her as your woman, not your life support system or source of oxygen.
You have to breathe on your own, be strong on your own and rise up to reach your true potential as a man.
You can’t expect her to want to be your purpose or reason for living, or to be constantly encouraging you and trying to boost your confidence so you keep making progress towards your goals.
You have to be a man about it and do it on your own, without needing her help.
Ironically, when you approach life in that way, your woman becomes your biggest cheerleader and does support and encourage you along the way.
Yet, if you need it from her to feel confident and motivated, that is when it stops being given and when she stops feeling respect for you as her man.
So, if you gave up on your big goals, dreams and ambitions in life, or if made her your main goal in life, you need to show her (via your actions) that you are now the kind of man who deserves her respect.
Take the lead in your life, follow through on your big goals and ambitions and be the emotionally mature and dominant man that she always wanted you to be.
Let her see that she would be proud to be your woman now.
You are now a man that she can look up to and respect because you are rising up through the levels of your true potential, without needing her support or encouragement.
5. Get her smiling, laughing and feeling good if she’s being cold or distant when talking to you
When you make your ex smile and laugh, you help her replace her negative feelings about you (e.g. anger, resentment, distrust) with more positive feelings (e.g. respect, attraction, excitement, love).
When her emotions change, she naturally feels drawn to you in a way that feels good to her.
No matter how determined she might be to maintain a cold, unemotional front, all it usually takes is a little smile to break her defenses and allow her to open herself up to seeing you in a more positive light.
So, rather than getting upset, or feeling discouraged if she’s being cold towards you, just use it as an opportunity to create new, happy memories in her mind by making her laugh and smile.
5 Mistakes That Guys Make When Trying to Get an Ex Woman to Respect Him Again
Getting a woman’s respect back should be done in a relaxed, confident manner.
You have to believe that the changes you have made are more than good enough to earn her respect back, rather than feeling as though you need to go overboard to prove how manly you are now.
On that note, here is the first classic mistake that a guy will often make when trying to make his ex woman respect him again…
1. He becomes domineering in the hope that she is impressed by his extreme masculinity
For example: Imagine a guy is talking to his ex on the phone and he suggests that they meet up for a cup of coffee and a catch up.
She might then say something along the lines of, “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I just don’t have feelings for you anymore, so meeting up would be a waste of time. Let’s leave things as they are.”
The guy might then get annoyed and try to force her to change her mind by being domineering and saying things like, “No. I don’t accept that. You owe it to me to at least meet up and hear what I have to say. This relationship is important to me, so we have to meet up. What time should I pick you up?”
Yet, as you may know, being a bully isn’t the way to make your ex woman feel respect for you again.
So, what is a better way to handle the situation if your ex says that she doesn’t want to meet up?
By being dominant in a loving way, rather than getting angry and trying to dominate her in a selfish manner.
For example: If your ex says, “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I just don’t have feelings for you anymore, so meeting up would be a waste of time. Let’s leave things as they are,” a good way to respond that will spark her feelings of respect for you again is by laughing and saying something along the lines of, “Oh, come on…it’s just a 10 minute coffee. We’re mature enough to do that, aren’t we? We’ll have a quick coffee and say hello. If you like, we can also say goodbye and never talk to each other again after that coffee. If you decide that’s what you want when we catch up, you have my word that I won’t ever contact you again after that.”
If she isn’t sure, simply remain calm and keep making her smile, laugh and feel good when she’s talking you.
While you’re doing that, push for a meet up (in an easy-going way) until she says yes.
If she can see that you’re not going to crack under the pressure and either turn into a bully or a wimp, she will feel some respect for you and become open to changing her mind and seeing you again in person.
At the meet up you need to show her (via your actions, behavior and the way you interact with her) that you’re a different man now.
No matter what she says or does to try to make you feel uncomfortable, insecure or even angry, you remain calm, confident and in control.
You also focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good as she talks to you.
As a result, she naturally and automatically feels respect and attraction for you, even if she tries to fight it or hide it.
The next mistake that some guys make is…
2. He tries to get her respect back by being even nicer than he’s ever been
Sometimes a guy might think to himself, “I just need to be nicer to her than ever before and she will then respect me again. I’ll show her that no matter how mean she is being to me, I treat her nicer than ever before. She will then feel guilty for being mean and respect me.”
He might then try and please his ex (e.g. by agreeing with everything she says, never standing up to her when she’s behaving like a brat, making himself available to her every beck and call or helping her out with errands).
Yet, being really nice to a woman who isn’t being nice to you, isn’t the way to regain her respect.
Using that approach just makes a guy seem desperate and she loses even more respect for him as a result.
Being extra nice to a woman doesn’t make her suddenly think, “Wow. My ex is really such a sweet guy. I don’t know why I never realized it before. I feel so much respect for him now. I have to stop being cold and distant and show him the respect he deserves! He’s so nice!”
So, to make your ex respect you as a man, you need to show her (by the way you now talk, behave and react to what she says and does) that you are now the kind of man she can look up to and respect.
By the way…
That doesn’t mean you have to treat her badly.
Being on the extreme end of the spectrum (e.g. too nice or too much of an asshole) is never the answer.
You have to be a good guy who has balls, so she can feel good around you and respect you.
Another mistake that some guys make is…
3. Acting like he doesn’t care about her anymore
When an ex woman is playing hard to get, a guy might think to himself, “Two can play that game! I’ll just pretend that I don’t care about her either and then, when she realizes that she might lose me forever, she will panic and come running back to me.”
He might then say to her, “This is great. I think we made the right decision by breaking up. I’m actually so much better off without you now. I think we should forget about each other, move on and start dating other people.”
Yet, that tactic hardly ever works. Why?
Firstly, a woman may test a guy to see if he’s telling the truth or if he’s only pretending not to care (e.g. by saying something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I was kind of hoping we could work things out between us.”)
If he then says something along the lines of, “I didn’t mean that. You know that I still love you and want you back,” she will lose even more respect for him for trying to trick her.
Secondly, when a woman has lost respect for a guy, him telling her that he doesn’t care about her anymore doesn’t really matter to her.
Instead, she will feel relieved that he’s not chasing after her and making it difficult for her to move on.
After all, she doesn’t have feeling for him anymore and he hasn’t even done anything to reactivate those feelings.
So, to her, it’s no big deal if he doesn’t care anymore.
If you want your ex to respect you again, don’t play mind games with her and pretend that you don’t care about her anymore.
It’s totally fine to say that you love her and care about her, as long as you’re not saying it from a place of neediness.
Saying it from a place of neediness is where you are essentially saying, “I love you. I need you in my life. Without you, I feel lost and alone.”
If she gets that sense from you, she won’t be able to respect you because you will be a guy who needs her to help him feel confident, happy and emotionally secure.
Women respect men who are confident, happy and emotionally secure with or without support or encouragement from women.
Another mistake that some guys make is…
4. Bragging about things to hopefully make her feel bad about herself
Sometimes, when a woman is being cold and distant, a guy might feel tempted to say something like, “I’m doing so well without you. I never realized how much I was putting on hold because of our relationship. Now I’m doing all the things I always wanted to do. I’ve been traveling to some pretty cool places and I’ve finally be able to go clubbing with my friends, which has been a lot of fun.”
He’s hoping that by saying something like that to her, she will think, “I never realized what an adventurous, fun guy he really is. My life is so boring and lonely in comparison to his. I wonder if he’d give me another chance and then we can do all those wild, crazy things together?”
Yet, in most cases, when a guy is bragging about how happy he is without his ex, it’s usually because the opposite is true.
He’s actually feeling sad, lost and lonely without her.
All she has to do to find out if he’s lying is to say something like, “Well, I guess we don’t need to stay in touch with each other anymore. You’re way too busy to waste time talking to little old me.”
If he then reveals (by the way his tone of voice, body language or vibe changes) that he isn’t so happy without her and has been missing her, she’ll know that he is lying and she then will lose even more respect for him as a man.
The key to making her feel some respect for you is to be genuinely happy without her, rather than only pretending to be happy and trying to make her feel bad about herself to hopefully get her to come crawling back to you.
Remember: If a woman doesn’t feel respect, attraction or love for her ex anymore, she’s not going to really care how good his life is without her.
She doesn’t have feelings for him, so it doesn’t really matter that she is “losing him.”
She is fine without him.
This is why it’s so important to reactivate your ex’s feelings when you interact with her, so she actually cares about the changes in you and what she’ll be missing out on if she doesn’t give you another chance.
Finally, another mistake that some guys make when trying to get their ex’s respect back is…
5. Talking about his goals and hoping that she says something like, “Wow, I’m so proud of you.”
Making progress with your big goals, dreams and ambitions is something you must do for yourself.
A woman doesn’t want to have to take on the role of mother, big sister, teacher or mentor and say, “Awwww, I’m so proud of you. Aren’t you a big boy now? Good boy.”
Instead, she wants to see you rising up through the levels of your true potential as a man because you want to.
She doesn’t want to feel as though you’re just doing it to please her (i.e. to please mommy) and get a pat on the head.
She doesn’t want to feel responsible for your direction in life or what you are choosing to do.
That’s not a woman’s role.
Instead, she wants to see that you are doing what you want because you want to do it.
You are confident, determined and passionate about who you are, where you’re going in life and why.
When you are living life in that way, a woman naturally feels a tremendous amount of respect for you.