To make up with your ex girlfriend, you need to apologize for your mistakes and let her see that you really have changed and become a better man now.
You can’t simply promise an ex-girlfriend that you will change. In most cases, a woman will need to see that her ex-boyfriend has already learnt from his mistakes and made a serious effort to make some real changes.
For example: If a guy got dumped by his ex-girlfriend because he was too insecure, needy, clingy or controlling, she isn’t going to be excited to take him back because he is saying that he won’t do that anymore.
Instead, she is going to need to see that he really has changed and to find that out, she will need to first talk to him on the phone to hear the change in how he thinks, talks and communicates with her.
She will then need to meet up with him in person to assess his body language, vibe, attitude, communication style and behavior to see if the changes are real.
If she suspects that he hasn’t changed anything and is just putting on an act to hopefully make up with her and get the relationship back together, she will put her guard up and reject him.
Think about it this way…
Have you ever been talking to someone who was acting like they were being truthful or like they were being nice to you, but you could sense that something wasn’t right?
Your ex-girlfriend has the same human sense, so don’t try to trick her into getting back with you by acting like you have changed. She will pick up on that and it will turn her off the idea of giving you another chance.
Watch this video to understand where guys go wrong when trying to make up with an ex girlfriend and what you should do instead to be successful…
As you will discover from the video above, your ex-girlfriend is probably not going to take you seriously until you can make her feel the type of respect and attraction that she needs to feel to justify giving you another chance.
Some women are easier to get back with than others, but if you feel as though your ex-girlfriend is a bit more difficult than other women, make sure that you do this right.
If you want to make up with her and get the relationship back together, start by respecting her needs and actually making some changes to how you think, feel, behave and act around her.
Let her see that you really do care about how badly you were making her feel and have put in the effort to learn about where you were going wrong and what you need to do to fix it.
5 Things to Avoid When Trying to Get an Ex Back
Some guys can’t stop themselves from going into panic mode when an ex-girlfriend decides that she wants to end the relationship.
All of a sudden, his life goes from comfortable to sickening. He can’t eat, sleep or think properly and it feels as though he is losing her and can’t really do anything about it.
He can fix the problem and make up with his ex girlfriend, but making the following mistakes will slow down the process and potentially make her feel like she needs to quickly fall in love with another guy to get her current boyfriend out of her mind and life…
1. Begging, pleading and groveling for forgiveness
As much as this might initially seem like a good idea (i.e. because it shows how much you care), calling up an ex girlfriend and begging her for forgiveness is not going to change her mind.
She may listen and hear you out, but once she’s had the satisfaction of knowing that you still want her and that you can’t live without her, she will reject you. Why?
A guy who begs, pleads or grovels is a big turn off for a woman because women are instinctively attracted to men who are emotionally strong with or without a woman.
What a woman wants to see that her ex-boyfriend wants her in his life and he loves her, but he doesn’t NEED her for his emotional security and strength.
2. Ignoring her by using the No Contact Rule
A common piece of advice that you’ll read about on the internet is to use the No Contact Rule to lure your ex girlfriend back.
In most cases (not all), the No Contact Rule is a really bad idea and here is why…
Yes, by ignoring your ex-girlfriend, she may contact you or call you at some point, but that is not the same as her wanting to make up with you and give the relationship another chance.
In most cases, a woman will respond to the No Contact Rule by contacting her ex-boyfriend (fiancé or husband) to check that he is still hoping to get her back.
Once she realizes that he hasn’t moved on and was just playing a trick on her, she will lose more respect for him and feel even more determined to move on without him.
3. Making promises to change, rather than actually changing
A woman will rarely just break up with a guy for reason at all, unless she is a crazy psycho.
Almost all women break up with a guy because he has been making mistake after mistake in the relationship, which has caused her to lose respect for him, then lose attraction for him and then fall out of love with him.
Watch this video to understand the process that your ex-girlfriend most-likely went through before breaking up with you…
As you will discover from the video above, it usually takes a lot of mistakes to add up to a woman eventually wanting to break up with her man.
When a woman voices her frustrations, demands that he change or even threatens to leave, a guy will sometimes promise to change. He will apologize for his mistakes and promise that he will change.
Yet, if the relationship ends in a break up, it means that he failed to change enough or at all.
In cases like that, the woman has heard all the promises before, so why should this time be any different? Should she believe him this time, or just cut her losses and move on before she wastes more of her life with a guy who isn’t willing to improve and change himself for the betterment of the relationship?
If she suspects that he is trying to get her back with empty promises, she will feel as though he’s not taking her and the problems in their relationship seriously and it will make her feel even more repelled and turned off than before.
4. Texting her repeatedly
It’s natural for you to really miss your ex and to want to stay in touch with her as much as possible, but texting her too often is a really bad idea.
Based on my years of experience helping guys to get women back, I have found that the ONLY time you should text an ex is to arrange a phone call so you can then arrange an in-person meet up.
Then, at the meet up, you need to apologize for your mistakes and get her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Once that has been established, her guard will come down, she will smile more and will become open to feel attracted to you while you interact with her (e.g. if you make her laugh, flirt with her, etc).
Pretty much every guy I’ve ever helped to get an ex back has made the mistake of texting the crap out of his ex.
In other words, he tries to get her back by texting and texting and texting.
Here’s the thing though…
If you hide behind text, your ex can lead you on for weeks or months, making it look like you have a chance, while she moves on with another guy.
If you want to make up with your ex-girlfriend for real, you’ve got to stop wasting time with text and start making her feel attracted to you over the phone and in person.
Text is also a really bad idea because if your ex is currently mad at you and perceives you as desperate or insecure, how do you think she’ll judge what you’re saying to her via text?
Do you think that she’ll think, “WOW! That was a cool text! He must be so confident, charismatic and attractive right now. I just HAVE to meet up with him ASAP!!”?
Of course not.
Text is crap when trying to get an ex back.
Without seeing you face to face, she has to judge what you’re saying via text based on her current perception of you. Via text, she can’t see that you’ve changed and she can’t feel sexual attraction for you as a man.
This is why texting her for any other reason, other than to arrange a phone call or a meet up, will usually turn her off even more and make her want to distance herself from you even more.
5. Letting her take control of the situation
When I help phone coaching clients to get their ex back, I pretty much always find that the guy has been letting the woman push him around, play mind games and essentially hide behind text.
If you want to make up with your ex girlfriend, you need to take control of the situation, rather than hoping that she somehow starts being nice and helps you get the relationship back together.
The same principle applies to picking up women or dating women. You have to lead the way and take charge, otherwise the woman won’t be able to respect you as a man. If she can’t respect you, then she’s not going to be able to feel attracted to you.
Doing It Right
To make up with an ex girlfriend quickly, you need to show her that you’ve learned from the experience of being dumped and that you’ve taken action to become a better man.
You can’t do that via text and you can’t do that by using the No Contact Rule.
You have to get yourself a meeting with her where you can show her that you’ve already improved yourself (e.g. you’re no longer insecure, you now know how to make her feel the way she wants to feel, you understand the reasons why she broke up with you and have already fixed those things about yourself, etc) and she will then open back up to feeling love, attraction and respect for you again.
If you’re interested in learning how to get her to agree to an in-person meet up, what to send via text to get her on a phone call and what to say on the phone, then I recommend that you watch my video training program Get Your Ex Back: Super System
Why wait another day when you could be on the phone with her in the next couple of hours arranging a time to meet up?
All you need to do is watch my training and then follow the steps (that I developed by helping more than 100 phone coaching clients to get a woman back) and you will be meeting up with her, re-attracting her and getting her to want another chance.
Ready to take the first step to get her back for real?