When a guy says, “My girlfriend said she wants to be single,” he’s usually reached a point where he feels like he’s just not going to be able to change her mind.
The relationship really seems like it’s over and it appears as though there is no way to change the way that she feels.
Watch this video to understand how to change her mind and stop her from breaking up with you…
Changing How She Feels
If your girlfriend is currently saying things like, “I just don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. It’s not you, it’s me, I just want to be single,” it simply means that (right now) she doesn’t feel good about the idea of being in a relationship with you.
However, that doesn’t make her feelings are set in stone.
No one is ever stuck on one feeling forever.
Feelings always change and sooner or later her current negative feelings towards you will change as well.
If you want to change her negative feelings to positive feelings, you need to make sure that you are making her feel the type of attraction, respect and love for you that will cause her to want to stick with the relationship.
For example: If a boyfriend is being clingy, jealous and insecure around his girlfriend, then she will naturally feel turned off by him and if that goes on for too long, she might break up with him or cheat on him.
On the other hand, if a boyfriend is emotionally strong and is able to make his girlfriend feel attracted by being a confident, masculine guy who makes her feel feminine and excited to be in love, then she’s not going to be saying that she wants to be single.
She’s going to want to stick with him, rather than risk getting out into the dating scene and having to put up with guys who can’t make her feel the way her boyfriend does.
So, if your girlfriend is saying she wants to be single, it’s pretty clear that, right now, she isn’t feeling enough attraction for you and isn’t excited about the idea of being in a relationship with you.
However, if you change your approach to the relationship, you can easily make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you again.
When you do that, her feelings of love will naturally come flowing back, because essentially, if there was real love between you and her in the past, then it is not dead.
Love doesn’t die. It can get buried under hurt feelings, resentments or misunderstandings, but ultimately the love will still be there in the background waiting to be re-awakened.
Love is something that can be brought back to life under the right conditions, so you just need to make sure you create and maintain those conditions, and your girlfriend will naturally change her mind about wanting to be single.
What are those conditions?
You need to make sure that the way that you think, behave, feel and take action around her and in life is deepening her feelings of respect, love and attraction for you over time, rather than destroying those feelings.
A lot of guys are great at getting relationships started, but once the initial buzz has worn off, the woman will start to feel restless if the guy is incapable of deepening her feelings and taking the relationship to the next stages.
If you have made your girlfriend feel that way, you need to start being attractive from now.
When you make your girlfriend see you as being more attractive, appealing and desirable than other guys, she will then change her mind about wanting to be single and will instead want to remain in a relationship with you.
Why Did Your Girlfriend Decide That She Wants to Be Single?
When a woman is in a relationship where she feels loved, valued and appreciated by her man, she’s not going to suddenly wake up one morning and decide, “I want to be single again…all of this exciting, heart warming love and attraction is boring and I’d rather alone.”
Of course, some women are crazy psycho bitches and will do that, but the majority of women won’t make a snap decision like that for no good reason.
So, if your girlfriend is a normal woman and is suddenly saying to you that she wants to be single, then something that you’ve done or been doing has made her think that being single would be better for her than sticking with you.
If you want to stop saying, “My girlfriend said she wants to be single,” and start saying, “My girlfriend said she can’t live without me,” you have to show her that the problems she has been noticing in your relationship are now fixed and won’t happen again.
If you’ve tried to ask her what the problem is, she might have told you that she just doesn’t feel the same way anymore, isn’t ready for a committed relationship or wants some time to find herself.
Any of those kind of reasons are vague and don’t actually tell you what the REAL problem is.
For example: If the real reason why a girlfriend is breaking up with her boyfriend is that he doesn’t have the kind of masculine confidence that will make her feel girly around him, she will rarely tell him that.
Instead, she will say, “I really care about you, but I just don’t know if we are right for each other right now.”
Why won’t she be honest and say what the real problems are?
She doesn’t want to be her boyfriend’s teacher on how to be a man. She wants a ready-made man, rather than changing the relationship dynamic to a teacher > student or big sister > little brother dynamic.
She wants to be able to relax into being her boyfriend’s woman (or girl), rather than having to be an authority figure or teacher to him. She wants to look up to him and respect him as her man, rather than have to pity him and guide him through life.
So, rather than telling him exactly what the problem is, she will come out with something like, “I think I want to be single for a while to find out what I want” or “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship right now because I want to focus on my work/studies” or “I think we will be able to be with each other again in future, but right now I need to find myself.”
Ignoring the Early Signs
Rather than coming out directly and telling a boyfriend exactly what he needs to change, a woman will usually begin by nagging, throwing a tantrum and getting emotional.
A lot of guys will write it off as her being silly or it being that time of the month again, but it’s really a woman’s way of letting you know that something is wrong and that she’s not feeling the way she wants to feel.
She doesn’t want to be a man about it and be clear, direct and to the point all the time. She wants to be emotional like a woman and hope that her guy senses that something is not quite right between them.
If her man picks up on her concerns and makes an effort to fix his behavior and improve himself, she will feel even more respect and attraction for him and will fall even deeper in love with him than ever before.
On the other hand, if he ignores her and avoids addressing the issue, she will gradually begin to lose respect for him and eventually her attraction and love for him will get pushed into the background.
Unable to connect with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for him, she will begin to interact with him from the basis of feelings like resentment, disappointment, frustration and repulsion.
If that goes on for long enough, she might eventually get to the point where she is tired of feeling that way and either breaks up with her boyfriend, cheats on him or gets the conversation started by saying that she wants to be single right now.
Questions to Ask Yourself at This Point
If you truly want to fix the problems between you and your girlfriend, you will need to first understand which of your attitudes and behaviors are causing her to want to exit the relationship.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. Have you been taking her for granted?
Throughout the relationship, have you made your girlfriend feel truly loved and valued? Not just as the start of the relationship (that’s the easy part), but later on after the initial buzz of being with someone new had worn off.
2. Have you been making her feel like a real woman?
To make a woman feel like a real woman, you need to use your masculinity to make her feel feminine and girly in contrast to you.
So, does your girlfriend feel feminine and girly in contrast to your masculinity, or have you made her feel like more of a neutral friend or buddy?
Have you let go of your masculinity and possibly been a bit feminine in your behavior, attitude and thinking around her?
3. Have you been too clingy and needy at times?
Did you make the mistake of smothering her with your insecurity (e.g. regularly needing her reassurance that she loved you and found you attractive)?
Did you feel jealous when she talked to other guys and feared losing her?
4. Do you believe that you got lucky when she agreed to be your girlfriend?
Have you secretly felt like she is too good for you? If so, she would have picked up on that and it would have turned her off.
A woman wants to be with a guy who makes her feel lucky to be with him. He can easily attract other women if he wants to, but is deciding to be with her because she is beautiful, has great character (e.g. loyal, caring, etc) and treats him well.
Do you secretly believe that you will find it difficult to get another quality woman like her if she decides to leave you?
5. Do you have big goals and ambitions for your life, or have you been making her your main goal?
Have you been rising up through the levels of life like a man should, or have you been taking life “day by day” and not making any massive plans for your future together?
The above questions highlight a few of the reasons that can cause a girlfriend to lose interest in being in a relationship with her boyfriend.
When you identify the real reasons why your girlfriend wants to be single, you can then make the right changes to get her to feel the type of love, respect and attraction that cause her to want to stick with the relationship.
Fix Your Issues and Improve Yourself Now, Not Later
Right now, your girlfriend doesn’t want to hear that you WILL change. She doesn’t want you to promise that if she gives you another chance, you really will change this time.
She wants to know that you have already changed by assessing your body language, conversation style, vibe, attitude and actions.
You don’t have to become perfect or change everything to get her to want to be with you again. However, when you fix any of your issues (e.g. a lack of confidence, insecurity, fear, lack of ambition, etc), you will see that it not only makes your girlfriend feel differently about you, but it also begins to have a positive effect on other areas of your life too.
Making Her Want to Stay in a Committed Relationship With You
When your girlfriend sees the changes in you and feels differently around you as a result, she will then feel as though her life wouldn’t feel right without you in it.
She will find herself feeling unhappy if she remains stuck to her idea of wanting to be single. In fact, getting back together will actually make her feel good about herself again.
So, if you want to stop saying, “My girlfriend said she wants to be single,” and start saying, “My girlfriend loves me and never wants to leave me” you’ve got to make sure that you make some real changes to how you approach the relationship.
If the current way that you are thinking, feeling, behaving and taking action around her and in life is turning her off, you need to change that.
You can’t expect a modern woman to stick with a guy for life just because the relationship felt good at the start.
Today’s women are allowed to break up with guys and get in and out of relationships until they find the guy who makes them feel the way that they really want to feel when in a relationship.
You can make your girlfriend feel as though you are still the one, but you have to be willing to make some changes to the way you think, feel, behave and act around her.
Three Options: Which One is Best For You?
At this point, you really have three options to choose from.
- Dump her and begin seeing other women immediately, to make her feel the pain of losing you and making such a silly decision about her relationship with you.
- Change your approach to the relationship to make her feel a renewed sense of respect, love and attraction for you. Then, build on that from there to make the relationship better than it ever was before.
- Don’t do anything and just let the whole thing slowly fall apart.
If you want to go with Option 1 and get some new women, I recommend that you read my book The Flow
If you want to go for Option 2 and get the spark back in your relationship, I recommend that you watch my video program, Make Her Love You For Life
If you want to go for Option 3 and let the relationship fall apart, then be prepared for a lot of emotional pain and heartache as she potentially cheats on you or strings you along while she finds a replacement guy.
Which option do you want to go with?
Most guys are able to pull off Option 2 and get the relationship back on track, but if you think she is a lost cause, then get onto Option 1 before she does that to you.
By the way…
If you and her are already broken up, you can also get her back. Watch Get Your Ex Back Super System for instructions on how to get your girlfriend back.
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