If you’ve been dumped by the woman you love, it’s only natural that you might be feeling hurt by her decision and confused about how you can get her back.
So, in this post I am going to explain what you need to do to get her respect back, respark her attraction for you and get her to reconnect with her old feelings of love with you.
When you approach it in that way, you will almost certainly be able to win her back and get another chance with her.
Here’s what you need to do…
1. Give Her Space For 1-3 Days
The first thing that you need to do after being dumped by your girlfriend, is to avoid many of the classic mistakes that other guys make, which turn the woman off even more.
For example: Rather than begging and pleading for another chance with her, the best thing to do is to temporarily accept the break up, so she feels as though she doesn’t have to put her guard up around you or block you out of her life.
This may mean giving her space for 1-3 days before you contact her again.
When you do contact her, you need to apologize for your mistakes, explain to her that you now understand why she wanted to break up with you and that you have already begun to change and improved those things about yourself.
Tell her that you’re not saying that to get back with her, but merely just to let her know out of respect for her and the relationship you once shared.
Talking about the relationship in past tense helps to keep her guard down because she doesn’t have to worry about you pressuring her to take you back.
Once you give her that feeling, you need to get her to meet up with you in person to have a friendly chat to say goodbye. At the meet up, you can then get her to feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and get another chance with her.
If you don’t know what to say or do to get her to agree to a meet up and then what to say and do at the meet up, I provide all of my best, tested examples in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
Meeting up with her after giving her a little bit of space (anywhere from 1-3 days) is the best way to quickly get her to change her mind and give you another chance.
Of course, sometimes a guy’s girlfriend will absolutely hate him and will refuse to meet up with him that quickly. In that case, he will need to use additional techniques to get her to lower her guard and feel comfortable to meet up with him within 1-2 weeks of the break up.
If you look around online for advice on how to get your girlfriend back, random people and websites will tell you to ignore her for anywhere from 21-60 days.
How do they come up with that number? Think about it. They have not tested it, are simply coming up with a number and don’t actually care about your relationship with her.
If you want to get your girlfriend back, you should not waste time following a random piece of advice that tells you to wait for long periods of time before contacting her.
Why? Every relationship is different.
If you wait too long to contact your girlfriend to apologize and arrange a meet up, she will either use that time to move on or she will feel as though you don’t care about her and will try to hook up with new guys to feel good about herself.
As you will discover from the video above, it is sometimes a good idea to completely ignore your girlfriend if she has dumped you, but in most cases – you should get in contact with her quickly and arrange a meet up.
A lot of people suggest the No Contact Rule because it usually makes a woman want to call her ex boyfriend to see how he is doing (i.e. is he still missing her?). Yet, just because your girlfriend might call you to check how you are doing, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to get her back.
To get her back for real, you will need to understand her real reasons for breaking up with you (usually different to what she is saying), get her respect back and then begin reattracting her.
Sometimes, a younger woman or a woman who doesn’t have much experience with relationships with accept a boyfriend back even if he doesn’t make any changes, but she will simply dump him again when she realizes that nothing has changed.
Use the 1-3 Days to Learn, Fix and Improve
The purpose of temporarily accepting the break up is so that you can learn where you’ve been going wrong with her, fix those things about yourself (e.g. insecurities) and begin to improve the man that you are today.
This shows her that you are taking the break up seriously and putting in the effort to truly understand what she really needs from you.
For example: When a girlfriend breaks up with her boyfriend, she will often give him vague reasons such as, “I need time for myself” or “I don’t think that it’s working out anymore” or “I don’t think I want to be in a relationship with anyone right now.”
Yet, that doesn’t explain what the real problem is or what her boyfriend needs to fix in order to get her back.
In many cases, one of the secret reasons why a girlfriend will dump her boyfriend is that he hasn’t been enough of a man for her (e.g. he is too insecure, she feels emotionally stronger than him, etc).
Watch this video to understand some of the real reasons why a woman will dump her boyfriend…
Do any of the relationship mistakes in the video apply to you?
As you will discover from the video above, your girlfriend would have first lost respect for you in the relationship and after that, she would have found it difficult to feel enough attraction for you.
If the lack of respect and attraction continued on for long enough, she would have then begun to fall out of love with you.
Now that you are at a point where you are saying, “My girlfriend dumped me” it’s important to realize that to get her back, you will need to start by getting her respect back (i.e. apologize, show her that you’ve learnt from your mistakes and are changing) and she will then become open to feeling some attraction for you.
Getting her respect and attraction back has to be done on a phone call and in person, not via text.
Pretty much every guy that I help to get a woman back has been making the mistake of trying to get his ex back via text, but it doesn’t work.
The only way for her to really sense that you have changed is to hear how you speak to her over the phone and how you think, feel, talk and behave when you interact with her in person.
As you will discover from the video above, your girlfriend is only going to take you seriously if you can fix your issues and improve your ability to make her feel respect and attraction for you.
3. Get Her to Meet Up With You as Soon as Possible
The purpose of meeting up with your girlfriend is to get her to see that you really do understand her reasons for dumping you and have already begun to fix and improve those things about yourself.
It’s also about sincerely apologizing for your mistakes and asking her to forgive you, so both of you can let go of the bad memories and be free to feel more positive and hopeful about the future together or apart.
Of course, you probably don’t want to be apart from her, but you simply have to say that to ensure that she isn’t feeling suffocated or pressured into getting back with you.
As long as you are making her feel enough respect and attraction for you at the meet up, she will gradually lower her guard and begin to reconnect with her old, positive and loving feelings for you.
She may not be able to forgive you and give you another chance immediately, but from all the cases I’ve dealt with over the years, most guys have been able to get another chance with their woman on the first or second meet up.
If you don’t know what to say or do to get her respect back and properly reattract her at the meet up, all of that is explained in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
For now, let’s have a deeper look into why the relationship ended up with you getting dumped and what you can do about to fix that…
Was the Break Up Your Fault?
A relationship will rarely end in a dumping for no reason at all.
Chances are high that your girlfriend gave you plenty of warnings about the way she was feeling before finally making the decision to end it.
Can you remember some of the things she was complaining about? Are you already aware of the mistakes you were making?
For example: Here are some of the reasons why a girlfriend will dump her boyfriend…
1. Taking Her For Granted
To keep a relationship together in today’s world, you have to deepen your girlfriend’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.
You can’t just expect her to stick around with you for life because you’re such a good guy, because the sex is great or because she was so in love with you at the start of the relationship.
A relationship that lasts a lifetime is about actually giving a crap about each for a lifetime. You actually have to care about her and want her in your life, otherwise she will eventually feel as though you’re just taking her commitment to you for granted.
Unlike women in the past who would stay with a man for life even if they were unhappy because it was seen as shameful to get divorced, today’s women can date, have sex with and enjoy relationships with as many guys as they want…and they don’t even have to marry any of them.
If a modern woman wants to break up with a guy, the society around her won’t look down on her. Instead, they will praise her for following her heart and not putting up with an unsatisfactory man.
The guy who has been dumped might feel betrayed by her (after all, she used to tell him how much she loved him and wanted to stay with him forever), but he will soon realize that a woman’s love for a man is not unconditional.
To keep a woman in a relationship for life in today’s world, you actually have to be able to deepen her feelings for you over time, rather than expecting her to stick around because things used to be good between you.
So, what can a guy do to fix a break up that was based on him taking his girlfriend for granted?
He needs to get her to reconnect with her old feelings of love for him. One of the best things about love is that is doesn’t die.
The love that a woman feels for you is conditional (i.e. she will only allow herself to feel it if the conditions are right), but that doesn’t mean that the love dies when the conditions aren’t right.
What happens with love that has been taken for granted is that it gets pushed into the background and a woman doesn’t allow herself to connect with it anymore. It’s not dead, but simply in the background.
To make the love come back to the foreground and make her want to reconnect with it again, you have to start by making her feel respect for you as a man and then beginning to reattract her.
You can’t ask her to remember the love, care about what you and her once had or give you a chance because you really need it.
None of that works.
You have to start by getting her respect back and then beginning to reattract her. Only then will she naturally and willingly begin to reconnect with her old feelings of love for you.
2. Being Clingy or Overly-Possessive
Guys who become clingy and overly-possessive of their girlfriend, often make the mistake of ignoring all outside interests and being completely focused on her.
This is a mistake that young and old men make, especially when they don’t really have a strong sense of purpose in life (i.e. big dreams and ambitions that they are working hard to achieve) outside of the relationship.
From the guy’s perspective, he has gotten himself a girlfriend and loves the feeling of being with her, so he feels entitled to spend all of his time with her and essentially base his life and personal happiness on his relationship with her.
He will often feel as though the rest of life is too difficult or is unimportant compared to how good he feels around his girlfriend.
So, rather than having a balanced life where he continues to rise up to reach for his true potential as a man and maintain friendships, a clingy guy will want to spend most of his time and energy on his girlfriend.
He will call and text her every day and worry that she might meet a new guy if he isn’t around. He will make sure that she knows that she is the most important thing to him in his life and that without her, his life wouldn’t be worth living.
In his mind, he feels as though he is giving a woman what she wants (i.e. a man who truly loves her), but to her, he is simply being too clingy and possessive of her and needs to relax.
Here’s the thing…
Women feel the most amount of attraction for confident men who have a strong sense of purpose in life, so the less you have going on in your life outside of your relationship, the less attractive you become as a man.
So, what should a guy do if he has been dumped for being too clingy and possessive?
He needs to start making progress towards his biggest dreams and ambitions in life, while also continuing to show some interest in his girlfriend.
He has to show her that he does love her and want her in his life, but he doesn’t need her.
If you don’t know exactly what to say or do to show your girlfriend that you want her in your life, but don’t need her, all of my best, tested examples are provided in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
3. Being Emotional Weak
This is one of the most common reasons why a woman will lose respect for her boyfriend, stop feeling attracted to him and then begin to fall out of love with him.
For example: A guy will become too insecure to the point where he is emotionally sensitive, whines and complains or even cries to her.
Some guys will expect their girlfriend to want to comfort them and guide them to a more emotionally strong place, but that’s not the role that a woman wants to take on for her boyfriend.
Women want to feel as though they are with a ready-made man, rather than feeling as though they are stuck with a guy who still doesn’t yet know how to be the emotionally strong man they need.
Women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, determination to succeed) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. insecurity, low self-esteem, fear of failure, etc).
So, if you have made the classic mistake of becoming emotionally weak in the relationship with your girlfriend, you have to put in the effort to fix your insecurities and become a stronger man.
Your girlfriend isn’t going to want to teach you that, so don’t bother asking her for help or advice.
A woman doesn’t want to have to take on the role of her boyfriend’s teacher on how to be a man because it ruins the sexual dynamic and makes her feel like more of a mother figure, big sister or teacher.
When the relationship dynamic is out of balance, the sexual dynamic is also out of balance and that lack of sexual attraction will inevitably lead to the end of the relationship.
Was the Break Up Her Fault?
When a guy contacts me for help saying, “My girlfriend dumped me,” he will sometimes feel as though he’s done nothing wrong, especially when his girlfriend says things like:
- You’re a really great guy, but I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now.
- You mean the world to me, but I think we should spend time apart.
- You’ve been so good to me and haven’t done anything wrong. I think you deserve better than me.
- I really care about you, but I just don’t love you the same way anymore.
And so on.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Regardless of whether you were a good or bad boyfriend or whether or not your girlfriend has been crystal clear about her reasons for dumping you, the same process of getting her back applies.
You have to make the changes in yourself that will cause her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
You then need to meet up with her, bring down her guard, get her to forgive you and then begin to respark her feelings of attraction and love for you.
Are you ready to do that now, or do you need some help? If you’re ready to do it, then go ahead and call her and arrange the meet up.
On the other hand, if you need help and guidance to fix your issues (e.g. insecurity) and know exactly what you’re going to say and do to get her back, then I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System