6 signs that suggest she is leading you on and has no current intention to get back with you, are:
1. She goes out partying with her single girlfriends quite often
Nightclubs, bars and parties are designed for drinking, partying, dancing and finding someone to hook up with.
Women often say, “I just go out to dance” or “I don’t give out my number to guys in bars or clubs,” but that’s what women say to avoid looking easy.
What you always need to remember about most women when it comes to men, is that they will often say one thing and do a completely different thing altogether.
Watch this for some examples…
So, if your ex is going to clubs and partying with her single girlfriends, she is looking to get some action whether she admits that or not.
Of course, that doesn’t mean your ex has to stay home, be a good little girl and not have any fun just because she’s thinking about getting back with you.
However, if she’s regularly going partying with her single girlfriends, she’s probably not going to sit alone in a dark corner drinking orange juice and saying, “No, no. I don’t want to dance or have fun. I’m considering getting back together again with my ex and it wouldn’t be fair to him if I enjoyed myself without him. So, you guys go ahead and have a good time. I’ll just sit here all by myself and watch you.”
Instead, she is more than likely going to be having a drink or two (and in some cases, get pretty drunk) and flirting guys who are there with the intention of hooking up with a woman for sex.
Also, did you know that when a woman drinks alcohol her testosterone levels go up, which in turn increases her libido and makes her less sexually inhibited (i.e. she’s more open to the idea of having a one night stand than she would be if she was sober)?
So, unless your ex is the type of woman who doesn’t drink alcohol, if she is going partying with her single girlfriends, she will usually be sipping down a few drinks and becoming more open to flirting with guys and seeing where things go.
She might say to you that she’s not interested in dating anyone right now, but as you know – women often say one thing and do another when it comes to men, so you can rely on her to be 100% truthful about that.
After all, if she is your ex, she knows that she doesn’t have to be loyal to you.
She might give you the impression that she is being loyal, but she knows that she is an individual and can do whatever she wants with her life.
To lead you on and make sure that you don’t get angry at her or try to stop her from going on, she might say that she’s not interested in seeing anyone.
Yet, if she goes out and a guy that she meets displays some of the traits that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, charm, emotional masculinity, makes her laugh and smile, charisma) she probably won’t be saying “No” to him if he tries to touch her, kiss her and have sex with her.
Here’s the thing…
When a woman is committed to getting back together with her ex, she will make every effort to fix her relationship with him, rather than make things worse by going partying all the time with her single girlfriend or having sex with other guys.
So, if you’re wondering. “Is my ex leading me on?” and she’s going out partying with her single friends all the time, there’s a very good chance that the answer is, “Yes.”
If that’s the case for you, what should you?
Do the same.
Make her jealous.
You don’t have to hook up with any women, but at least go out and have fun, post up some photos on social media and let her see that you’re not sitting at home alone feeling sad, lonely and unloved.
When she sees that, she will almost certainly contact you and you can then make her feel attracted on a phone call and get her to meet up with you in person.
Another sign that your ex might be leading you on is…
2. She tells you that she doesn’t want to be with you now, but maybe some time in the future
If a woman isn’t leading you on, she will say something direct like, “Look, it’s over between us and there’s no chance of us getting back together again. I don’t want to lead you on and give you false hope. So, forget about me and move on, okay?”
Yet, most women won’t be that direct when breaking up with a guy.
Common reasons why include:
- She’s afraid that he might break down and start begging, pleading and crying with her to change her mind.
- She fears that he might become angry and possibly even get violent with her.
- She’s a nice person and she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she tries to break away from him gradually rather than all at once.
- She’s angry with him over what happened between them in the relationship and she wants to hurt him by leading him on.
- She wants to give herself some time to find a replacement guy, before she breaks up with him for real.
So, rather than just tell her ex that it’s over, a woman might instead say something like, “I don’t want to be with you right now, but maybe we can get back together some time in the future. I’m just not in the right space at the moment for a relationship. I need some time to sort things out in my life,” as a way of letting him down easy.
Her guy might then think, “Cool! Well at least there’s hope. She didn’t say it’s over. So, I will wait for her.”
He might also tell her that he’ll wait for her for as long as she needs because he loves her so much and respects her need for space.
Yet, giving a woman to much space just doesn’t work in most ex back cases.
If you give her too much space and she secretly doesn’t have strong feelings for you, a woman will almost always use the time to find a replacement guy.
She will then be able to avoid the pain of you breaking up with her, by finally breaking up with you and saying, “I’m with someone else now. I’m sorry. Please stop contacting me.”
Another sign that she might be leading you on…
3. She says that she wants to focus on her work (or studies) this year and after that, you and her can discuss the possibility of a relationship
Some guys will demand that she gives an answer now, while other guys will promise to wait and the go ahead and give her all the space she needs.
He then has to live the entire year with the fear that she might meet another guy, so he will constantly checking her social media profiles to see if there’s any sign of new men in her life.
Alternatively, he might think to himself, “What an amazing woman. She really wants to make a success of herself. I totally respect that and I don’t want to be the one to get in the way of her dreams. I’m just going to stick around and be her friend and help her out as much as possible. Then, once she accomplishes her goals and realizes that I was the one who stuck with her through it all, she will naturally want to get back together with me. She will be able to see that no-one would ever love her as much as I do and stand by her the way I have.”
He might then focus on being her nice, sweet, platonic friend who is extra nice to her and runs errands for her, pays some of her bills (e.g. rent, university fees), helps her with work and is her shoulder to cry on when she’s feeling down or overwhelmed.
Yet, just because he’s being so nice to her, it doesn’t mean that she’s going to want him back as her boyfriend (fiancé or husband), or that she’s not going to hook up with another guy in the meantime.
She could be genuinely busy with work (or study), but if she meets a guy who is more interesting to her and triggers her feelings of sexual attraction (e.g. because he’s confident, charismatic, charming), then she’s going to have to consider hooking up with him.
She might be able to fight the urge, but if she’s not getting sex from you and is feeling horny, she might just go ahead and let him take her out on a date.
So, remember this…
It’s totally fine to remain friends with your ex, but you have to make sure that you are actively making her feel sexually attracted to you during that time.
For example: Being confident at all times, being charismatic, making her laugh, flirting with her, making her feel girly in comparison to how masculine you are.
However, if you only focus on making her feel neutral, friendly feelings for you by being a nice, supportive friend, she might keep leading you on, but that won’t stop her from having sex or falling in love with a new guy.
So, don’t fall into the friend zone with your ex.
Instead, use every interaction you have with her as a way to actively spark her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you again.
Another sign that your ex might be leading you on is that…
4. She shows interest in you via text, but won’t meet up with you
One of the easiest ways for a woman to lead a guy on is by sticking to texting without ever wanting to talk to him over the phone or meet up with him in person.
For example: A woman might text her ex and say things like, “Yesterday I was having lunch at that little Italian restaurant we used to go to and I thought about all the good times we shared there. Maybe we can do that again sometime. I miss you.”
Naturally, when a guy reads a message like that, it’s only normal that he might think, “This is great! Clearly she still has feelings for me. She misses me!”
If he then responds by saying something along the lines of, “I feel the same way! Why don’t we get together at that restaurant and see where things go from there?” she will likely just respond with something like, “Sure, that sounds great, but I’m really busy at the moment. Maybe in a few weeks time when things have settled down at work/with my studies.”
Then, after a few weeks if he tries again to meet up with her, she will likely give him some other excuse to avoid actually meeting up with him in person.
Often, a woman will do this because she’s already seeing another guy and just doesn’t want to come out and say it.
She feels bad for hooking up with a guy so quickly after they broke up, so she just leads her ex on and tries to be nice to him.
In other cases, a woman will continue texting to give herself an ego boost, to get emotional revenge on him for hurting her or just for something fun to do.
As you may have experienced, a woman can often change and become a completely different person after breaking up with you.
When with you, she was so sweet and innocent, but now that you’re broken up, she can turn into somewhat of an enemy who actually wants to hurt you.
Not all women are that mean of course, but many guys do encounter a complete change in their woman after a break up.
This is why texting is a horrible way of getting a woman back.
Rather than wasting time with texts, just get her on a phone call right away, where you can spark some of her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, showing her that you’ve changed) and get her to agree to see you in person.
Another possible sign that she’s leading you on is…
5. She says that you deserve better than her
A “nice” way that a woman might lead a guy on is by saying something along the lines of, “I love you too much to get back with you. You deserve a woman who is better than me. Someone who can love you the way you should be loved, rather than be stuck with a girl like me who doesn’t know what she wants in her life. Why do you even bother with me? I’m not good enough for you.”
In most cases, when a guy hears something like this, rather than think, “Hmmm… she has a point there. I can easily get another beautiful woman. Why am I bothering with a woman who isn’t giving me her full love and devotion? She’s right. I’m moving on. Bye!” he thinks something like, “I don’t care what she thinks. I love her more than any other woman. She is special to me. She is so amazing that she cares about not being good enough for me. What more could I ask for? She cares about me. She must really love me to be willing to put my happiness before her own. I just have to get her back. I want to take care of her and treat her well. She’s such a great woman.”
He then plays into her hands by not moving on and simply waiting around for her to change her mind and come running back to him.
In cases like this, a guy will often buy a woman flowers, a ring, pay for her rent or offer to take her on an expensive holiday.
He’s trying to show her how willing he is to take care of her, in the hope that she then realizes how lucky she is and gives him another chance.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
A woman doesn’t want to feel as though she is being bought.
She wants to feel like she is with you because she feels respect, attraction and love and actually wants to be with you.
She doesn’t want to feel as though she is just going to stick around because of all the nice things you can do for her.
Of course, some selfish women do that to take advantage of their guy for a while, but the relationship never lasts.
So, if your ex is saying something along the lines of, “You deserve better than me,” it’s very likely that she’s leading you on.
She’s probably using that excuse to keep you at arms length while she moves on and finds a replacement guy.
If you want her back, make sure that you aren’t desperately chasing her and are instead allowing her to miss you and want you back.
Another possible sign of leading you on…
6. She says that she doesn’t love you the same way anymore, but needs more time alone to figure things out
When a woman says something like, “My feelings for you have changed. I don’t love you anymore. I can’t decide what I really want right now. Just give me some time to think about it and figure things out in my life. Then, we’ll see what happens from there,” a guy may then think to himself, “Well that’s not so bad. At least she’s trying to sort through her feelings for me. I can be patient. After all, she means the world to me. She’s worth the wait. I don’t want any other women besides her, so I’ll just back off for a while and give her the space she needs. Then, when she’s ready, she will call me up and we can get back together again.”
He might then cut off all communication with her (e.g. he stops texting, e-mailing, calling, interacting with her on social media and he doesn’t see her in person) for 30 to 60 days (some guys wait even longer than that) in the hopes that the time apart will make her realize how much she misses him and she will then come running back.
Yet, in most cases, giving a woman a lot of space usually only plays into her hands.
Rather than sitting around thinking, “This is terrible! I miss him so much! I know I said I don’t love him anymore, but I was wrong. I want him back now! I need to call him right away so that we can get back together again,” a woman is usually thinking, “This is perfect. Now I can focus on getting on with my life, without having to deal with him calling me and pestering me about getting back together again,” and she just moves on.
If her ex then gets in touch with her after 30 or 60 days, she will say something like, “Sorry. It’s too late. I’m seeing someone else now and I’m really happy. It’s really over between us now. You need to move on and forget about me.”
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t let her lead you on with the, “I need some space. Maybe we can get back together again sometime in the future,” line.
In most cases, space is just a way to keep you out of her life so she can move on.
If you give her more than 7 days of space at a time, it usually leads to her moving on with another guy or having enough time to get over you and say, “No, I’ve made up my mind. We are finished. We’re not getting back together and nothing you can say will change my mind.”
So, to get her back, you need to actively focus on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, so she will want to change her mind.
You can’t do that if you’re not interacting with her though.
So, make sure that you don’t just sit back and wait (e.g. for 30 or 60 days) for your ex to tell you when she’s ready to give you another chance.
Instead, use every interaction you have with her (e.g. via text, on social media and especially over the phone and in person) to get her smiling and laughing.
This makes her drop her guard and be able to say something like, “I’ve had enough time apart. I think we should get back together again. I miss having you in my life.”
Love is Like a Dance
Most men hate dancing and don’t even want to think about it, but dancing actually a great metaphor for how to succeed with women.
For example: When a man is dancing with a woman, she really likes to be able to follow his lead.
A man taking the lead doesn’t mean that he has to do all the work and put in all the effort.
Instead, he should either know what he wants to do and do it, or just follow his instinct and do whatever he wants while dancing with her.
If he is able to lead with confidence in that way, a woman can then relax (rather than having to think, plan and act like the leader) and just focus on doing all sorts of fancy, sexy moves as she expresses her femininity.
If you’ve ever seen a woman dancing with a man who is calmly and confidently leading, you will have noticed how happy she was.
It’s the ideal scenario for women because they get to be the girl, or the woman, rather than having to take on the more dominant, manly role and lead the way.
So, how does all that relate to getting an ex back?
Well, even though your ex might not admit or even know it, what she really wants is for you to lead her back into a relationship, so she can be your happy, girly, sexy woman again.
She’s not going to tell you what to do to get her back though, because that would be leading you and would ruin the ideal masculine/feminine dynamic that a woman wants to experience with a man.
Just like with a dance, a woman will either get very frustrated that her man can’t lead, or she will smile from ear to ear and be very happy, excited and attracted to him if he has the confidence to just lead the way.
The same applies with getting her back.
You just can’t expect your ex to lead you back into a relationship.
As a man, that’s your role.
So, how do you lead the way?
Start saying and doing the type of things that will make her feel respect for you, feel attracted to you and begin to love you again.
By actively making her feel attracted, you are leading the way and helping the relationship get back together.
For example: You make her laugh and smile on a phone call and then say, “Hey, so anyway…we should catch up and have a coffee tomorrow or the next day” and she then says, “I’m not sure…maybe it’s not a good idea.”
Do you follow her lead?
You say, “Ahh, come on…it’s just a coffee. We’re mature enough to catch up for a coffee as friends. It doesn’t mean that we’re getting back together. It’s just catching up for a quick coffee and laugh. We can do that.”
If you have been attracting her on the phone call and making her feel respect for you, she will agree and go along with meeting up with you.
As a result, you will be leading the dance.
It’s not difficult to lead the way with a woman.
Women naturally want to be with a man that they can follow the lead of.
It doesn’t mean that you have to make all the decisions, do all the work or put in loads of effort.
You just have to believe in yourself and assume the role as the leader or the man in the relationship and move things forward, while also being loving, respectful and considerate of her feelings and her needs.
If she wants to make a decision and lead the way on something, you let her.
Yet, just don’t fall into the trap of needing her to lead or allowing her to walk all over you and make all the decisions.
Believe in yourself and assume the leadership role as the man because that’s how women want it anyway.
Women want you to lead the way.
They like it.
So, when a guy asks, “Is my ex leading me on?” it’s usually because he has been waiting around for weeks, months and in some cases, even years, hoping that his ex will lead him back into a relationship with her.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
If a man wants a woman back, he needs to have the emotional courage to remain confident all the way through the ex back process, rather than expecting a woman to go easy on him and make it completely obvious that she wants him back.
The truth is, when a guy has the confidence to take the lead and go after the woman he loves, it actually makes a woman feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
She begins to see him in a more positive light and all the negative things that she’s been holding on to about him and the relationship begin to fade away and get replaced by new, positive emotions such as respect, attraction and love.
Her guard naturally comes down and she will usually just go along with it, hook up with him and get back into a relationship, because she can see that he’s now the kind of man she can look up to, respect, feel desire for and love.