4 possible reasons why a woman will break up with you for being at different stages in life are:
1. You Want to Settle Down, But She Doesn’t
Sometimes, a guy might be at a point in his life where he’s ready to settle down, get married and start a family.
Yet, in some cases a woman might feel like she’s too young to do that, or just isn’t ready to settle down yet.
She may think, “I really care about him, but I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship right now. He’s always so serious and responsible, but I’m not ready to be like that right now. I want to go out and have fun like all my single friends. I want to go to clubs, travel and do all the crazy things that you’re supposed to do while you’re still young. I don’t want to be trapped in a relationship before I’ve had the chance to experience life. We’re just at different stages in our lives. I have to break up with him.”
Here’s the thing…
For a relationship to work, a couple must have a shared, long term vision that they are both happy about working towards.
So, if a woman starts to feel trapped or pressured into being in a serious relationship with a guy before she’s fully ready, she will usually break up with him and find someone else who is at her level of maturity and emotional development.
Unlike in the past where a woman was married off at a really young age, regardless of whether she was emotionally ready for it or not, in today’s world a woman can choose to stay single for as long as she wants.
By the way…
I met my wife when she was 20 and I was 35.
Yet, she asked me to marry her.
Why and how?
Well, we actually met in a nightclub and rather than immediately stopping her from going partying, I continued to party with her for about two months.
She then got tired of partying because her and I had fallen in love and become a truly committed couple.
So, one day she said, “I don’t want to party anymore. It’s good when you’re single, but we’re past that now.”
We then stopped partying (we still do party once or twice a year if we want) and started hanging out with friends who were in a relationship or married.
She asked me to marry her many times, before I eventually said yes around the two year mark.
Now, imagine this…
Imagine that I picked her up at a nightclub and then immediately wanted her to stop enjoying dancing and partying with our friends.
Imagine if I told her that we must stop partying and be responsible now that we are a couple.
She would have felt as though I was taking something away from her and immediately trying to tame her into a submissive housewife.
As a result, she would have fought against it.
So, rather than forcing her to change, I allowed it to happen naturally.
I knew that her and I were falling more and more in love and that our relationship would get better and better.
…and it did.
Watch this video to understand what you need to be able to do to keep a relationship together for life…
As you will discover from the video above, it’s not enough to just have a great start to the relationship or to end up being comfortable.
You’ve got to make sure that you are deepening the feelings of love, respect and attraction that you and her feel for each other over time.
You can’t just expect a woman to stick around because it felt good at the start or because you really love her.
The love, respect and attraction has to be mutual.
Another reason why she may have broken up with you for being at a different stage in life than her is…
2. She Wants to Settle Down, But You Don’t
Quite often, the shoe is on the other foot and it’s the man who isn’t emotionally mature enough to want to settle down yet.
For example: A guy might enjoy hanging out with his friends and going to bars and clubs and getting drunk, traveling, or changing jobs regularly, rather than being serious about life and aiming to achieve long term goals that will benefit him and her.
So, when she suggests that he gets more serious about life (e.g. that he stops getting drunk so much, travel less often, stick to a job, follow through on big goals that will benefit them both in the long run), he might say to her, “No…that’s not who I am. I’m a free spirit. I’m not ready to get stuck in a rut in my life and become old and boring. Life is for the living. I’m not going to be like everyone else.”
What he doesn’t realize is that it’s not about being like everyone else.
It’s about giving a woman a feeling of security and safety about her future.
Unlike men, women can get pregnant.
Even if she hates children or doesn’t ever want to have children, a woman still has a natural instinct to want to be with a man who is thinking about the future and working towards making sure that he and her will be safe, secure and able to survive and provide for any offspring.
She has this natural instinct to ensure that the man she breeds with will work hard to make sure that life will be good for them, or at least comfortable.
A woman might not ever come out and say something like that to you, but she has natural instincts that control much of her behavior, thinking and desires.
So, if you want a relationship to last, you have to work with nature rather than against it.
It’s not about being like everyone else and running the rat race or having two children and getting a mortgage.
It’s just about being a man that she can rely on and feel safe with now and in the long run.
This is why it’s so important for a couple to have the same long-term goals and views about life (e.g. getting married, buying a house, starting a family or never get married, never buy a house, never start a family).
Regardless of what she wants, a woman needs to feel safe about her future based on what she thinks is important (e.g. she might think that being able to travel around is important, being able to have a farm and grow her own vegetables, or being able to party whenever she wants).
Funnily enough though, most of the free spirited women out there who reject society and just want to get away from everyone, end up wanting a house, a child, a car and so on, so they are drawn back into society.
Yet, free spirited women usually hook up with a guy who doesn’t want to conform to society’s standards and is determined to be a free spirit his entire life.
Eventually though, she starts getting jealous of her girlfriends, sisters or cousins who have a house, a family, a car and all the other things that go along with modern life and she begins to want that too.
If her guy isn’t able to adapt to the changes in, she starts to want out.
At the end of the day, she is an individual and doesn’t actually have to stick with him if she doesn’t want to.
It’s not like it was 100-150 years ago when a woman was essentially a man’s property.
These days, both men and women are free to do whatever they want, including breaking up a relationship or ending a marriage.
When a woman sees that her man isn’t willing to adapt and experience a different way of life or stage of life with her, she starts to feel trapped.
She may then begin to think something like, “We’re just not at the same stage in out lives. I’m ready to settle down and get serious, while he still wants to be like we used to be. I can’t stick around anymore, in the hopes that he will change his mind someday and want the same things that I do. What if he never grows up and by the time I realize it, it’s too late for me to find another guy and have a child? I think I need to move on with my life before it’s too late.”
She will then usually break up with him and begin to look for a new man who wants the same things as her.
Another reason why a woman might break up with you for not being at the same stage in life as her is…
3. You Lack Purpose, Which Has Made Her Seek to Find One and Now She Wants to Focus on That Rather Than Her Relationship With You
Part of being a man that a woman can look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love is having a clear purpose in life (e.g. big goals, dreams and ambitions that are important to you) and working towards achieving it.
Where some guys go wrong is by making their relationship with a woman their purpose in life because they are either too afraid or too lazy to step up and reach for their true potential as a man.
For example: A guy might say to himself, “This relationship is special. I can’t afford to lose my woman. She means everything to me. I don’t care about anything else. The rest of the world can go and get stuffed. All I care about is her and me. That is what matters.”
He may then focus all his attention on her and neglect the other areas in his life (e.g. stop pursuing his goals, give up his interests or hobbies).
If his woman sees that he’s clinging to her and avoiding following through on his dreams, she might say to herself, “This isn’t what I want. He’s smothering me with all of his attention. I can’t live like this. I need to do something to get away from him or else I’m going to go crazy.”
She may then start focusing more on her own dreams and goals to the point where she begins to question her reasons for staying with him.
She thinks, “Why am I sticking around with a guy who has no purpose in life? I’m busy chasing my dreams and making them a reality and he’s holding me back. We clearly don’t want the same things in life anymore. I want to focus on my goals and he wants to hang around me all the time like a young guy would with his first girlfriend. I think it’s time for me to move on. I need a man” and she usually breaks up with him.
If a guy is just drifting along in life and using her to hide from his true potential, a woman will eventually start to feel as though she’s got herself a boy who hasn’t yet grown up, rather than a man who she can look up to and respect.
She feels more emotionally dominant than him and as a result, she takes on a traditionally masculine role of finding a purpose in life outside of her relationship with him.
Although most women don’t ever openly admit this, a woman wants to be with a man who is confident enough to reach for his true potential in life and lead the way to a better future for both of them.
She doesn’t want to be his “partner” or his “best friend,” she wants to be his woman.
She wants to be able to look up to him and respect him as her man.
If he can give her that, she will feel incredibly sexually attracted to him for life.
Even just the simple act of him hugging her or looking at her in the eyes in a certain way will turn her on and make her want sex.
Yet, if he expects her to take on a more masculine role or a neutral role like a partner or best friend, the sexual spark will begin to die out.
She just won’t feel like his woman, which is disappointing to her.
Although most women won’t openly admit it, they just want to be a man’s woman.
That’s it for most women.
However, modern society is constantly telling women, “Be like a man. Have a life purpose. Don’t worry about men. Just do your own thing.”
Many women get sucked into that, only to find themselves depressed or constantly breaking up relationships and never feeling satisfied.
It’s only when a woman meets a man who allows her to be a real woman (i.e. feminine, girly, free to be emotional) that she stops looking outside of her relationship and makes her whole life about being with him and being in love with him.
That’s a dream scenario for women, but most modern women are too embarrassed to admit it, so don’t expect many women to share that secret with you.
Here’s the thing…
If a woman notices that she is the one leading the way and is having to drag her guy along to new stages of life, she will gradually stop feeling respect for him, her attraction will fade and she will eventually say something like, “It’s over. We’re at different stages in our lives. You and I used to be a great match, but things have changed. We’re not suited to each other anymore. I don’t feel the same way anymore. I need to be by myself. Please respect that.”
Another reason why a woman might break up with you because you’re at a different stage in life than her is…
4. She Feels More Emotionally Mature Than You and Doesn’t Think That You Can Change
When a woman feels more emotionally mature than her guy (e.g. she has a definite plan for her life, whereas he’s still behaving like a teenager even though he is 20, 30, 40 or 50 years old) it’s understandable that she may reach the point where she’s thinking, “Enough is enough! I need a man, not a boy. This just isn’t going to work.”
If she then says to him, “Look, we just aren’t meant to be together. We’re at different stages in our lives. I’m sorry, but I have to break up with you,” he might then promise to change whatever she wants to suit her, even though he secretly doesn’t want to.
For example: A woman might be at the stage in her life where she wants to settle down, buy a house, get married and start a family.
In the meantime, her guy is still enjoying being irresponsible (e.g. getting drunk all the time, playing video games all weekend, racing cars, wasting time on hobbies that won’t make him any money), going out partying with his friends and isn’t interested in settling down.
So, to avoid losing her, he might say, “Please give me another chance. I can change. If you want to move in together I’m all for it. Let’s do it. In fact, let’s buy a house and get married. I’m serious. I’ve had enough of the single life anyway. You mean more to me than that. I will buy you a ring next month, I promise.”
Yet, even though he’s going through the motions and saying all the right things, deep down he may be thinking, “This isn’t really what I want right now. I like not having any serious responsibilities to tie me down. I don’t want to lose her though, so I guess I’m going to have to bite the bullet and give her what she wants.”
Most women don’t accept it though because when the guy is offering her everything she wants, she feels turned off by his desperation.
She knows that he’s only doing it to please her, so his heart won’t be in it.
He might get her a ring, but he really doesn’t want to, so it doesn’t feel special to her.
As a result, she just breaks up with him and tries to move on.
Another example is if a woman is at the stage in her life where she is very focused on her career and on rising through the levels of her field/industry, while her guy might be more laid back and not be very ambitious at all.
She might say to him, “Look, you might be happy taking things slowly with your career, but that’s not what I want in a boyfriend (or husband). I want to make it to the top of my field as quickly as possible. While I’m busy working late and going to meetings and business dinners, you’re already home watching TV or playing video games. I know you love your job and you’re happy with the way things are, but I just can’t sit around forever waiting for you to get serious about your life. We’re just at different stages in out lives right now and I think it would be better if we go our separate ways. I want different things than you do. This isn’t the life I want. I’m sorry, but I’m leaving.”
He might then say to her, “Please baby, just give me a chance. If what you want is for me to get more serious about my career then that’s what I’ll do. There’s a promotion available in my department at work. I’m sure I can get it. We don’t have to be at different stages in our lives. Just give me a chance.”
In reality, that’s not what he wants at all and he’s just saying it because he doesn’t want to lose her.
She can sense it and she won’t like it because women don’t want to be your leader or guide.
They want you to want to be a man because you want to do it, not because it will make her shut up and stay.
Likewise, if you do something against your will just to suit her (e.g. stop playing video games so much), eventually you will most likely resent her for making you do it.
For example: Using one of the examples above, if you move in with your ex, or get married and it’s not really what you want, then every time you and your woman have an argument or disagreement, you may be thinking, “It’s her fault for forcing me into something I didn’t really want to do. I hate living with her. This is so annoying.”
She will pick up on your resentment for her and she will start to think that the relationship just isn’t going to work.
Additionally, if your ex senses that you’re only promising to do what she wants just to get her back, she will lose respect and attraction for you because she will perceive you as not being your own man.
She will then believe that she was right all along (i.e. that she is more emotionally mature than you and that you can’t change).
So, if you are going to get her back, make sure that your heart really is any of the changes that you are willing to make.
You can fake love for life.
You’ve got to do it right and love her, respect her and want to be happy with her for real.
A Sincere, Sudden and Self-Chosen Transformation
Sometimes, a guy will simply try to convince his woman to give him another chance by explaining how much she means to him.
Yet, that doesn’t work.
Her reasons for breaking up with you have nothing to do with your feelings for her.
She doesn’t care about your feelings right now.
I know that it might sound harsh, but I need to teach you the truth so you can get her back.
What she cares about is the fact that you and her don’t want the same things in life anymore.
So, no matter how much you love her, it’s just not going to matter to her if she feels that you don’t want the same things in life.
A woman will only want to be with you if she can see a sincere, sudden and self-chosen transformation.
She doesn’t want you too change to please her or suck up to her.
She wants you to change because it’s what you really want for yourself.
If you can do that, she will then look at you in a more positive light and she will become more open to the idea of getting back together again to see if you and her can have a future together.
You don’t even have to tell her that you’ve made the change.
Simply interact with her and let her pick up on it during conversation.
If you go to her with a, “Hey, I changed. Now do you like me?” approach, she will feel turned off because you’re just doing it for her.
She wants you to be your own man and do this because you really want to.
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