Both men and women are good at hiding any signs of cheating, so it’s not always easy to know for sure whether your girlfriend is cheating or not.
For example: If you have ever cheated on a girlfriend in the past, you would know that it was pretty easy for you to meet up with your girlfriend hours or days later and act completely normal and natural around her like nothing had happened.
So, unless you have really obvious signs that she is cheating (e.g. you see texts in her phone where she is arranging to meet up with a guy that she’s been flirting with, a friend tells you that she was holding hands with another guy, etc), it’s usually very hard to tell for sure.
Where Guys Go Wrong When They Suspect a Girlfriend of Cheating
When a guy asks, “Is my girlfriend cheating?” he usually already thinks she is, so he will become insecure and begin to change his behavior, attitude and communication style towards her as a result.
1. He overreacts to the differences in her behavior and treatment towards him.
If she has always been very affectionate and attentive in the past and suddenly begins to give him less of that, he might see it as a sign that his girlfriend is interested in another guy or possibly even cheating on him already.
At that point, he might begin to feel insecure and then ask her if she is still in love with him, is thinking about leaving him, is interested in another guy or if she would ever cheat on him.
So, how can a guy avoid overreacting at times like this?
What a guy needs to understand is that after the initial excitement of starting a relationship, having sex and getting to know each other better, most women will pull back some of their interest and affection to test a guy’s confidence and emotional stability.
A woman wants to be able to see that her boyfriend is not going to become insecure, jealous and controlling if she doesn’t give him 100% of her focus, attention and affection all the time.
Women instinctively know that they are going to be much safer with a guy who is emotionally stable, happy and secure in himself with or without a woman’s constant reassurance.
However, it’s important not to just ignore your girlfriend’s sudden lack of interest.
Sometimes a woman’s interest in her boyfriend will change because she actually is cheating or is going to cheat soon with a guy that she has been flirting with.
After all, cheating is pretty common in relationships. Depending on the study, anywhere from 50-60% of women admit to cheating on their boyfriend or husband.
So, if you are in the position where you’re asking, “Is my girlfriend cheating?” because your gut instinct is telling you that she is, then you need to do something about it.
Ask her in a relaxed, emotionally stable manner (i.e. don’t get crazy about it), “Hey – this is a tough question to ask anybody and I want you to feel safe to be honest with me. I want to know – are you actually cheating on me? If so, I will accept it and we will break up, so please just be honest with me. If you have cheated, you are free to leave me and go and be with the other guy. I will simply have to move on.”
Saying it in that way will ensure that you have the highest chance of getting her to admit to it.
Most people (not just women) don’t feel good about admitting to cheating, so if she feels as though you’re going to get angry (and possibly even violent) if she admits to cheating, she will most-likely deny it and then slowly try to break up with you.
So, be calm and make her feel safe to tell you. If it turns out that she has cheated, then you can decide to forgive her and start from a clean slate, or dump her and find yourself a new woman.
2. He begins to constantly call and text her to ensure that he knows where she is and what she’s doing at all times.
If a guy is worried about being cheated on by his girlfriend, he might also begin to constantly call her, text her and track her whereabouts.
It’s pretty obvious that if a boyfriend is treating his girlfriend in this way, it will not deepen her love, respect and attraction for him. Yet, when a guy is feeling insecure about the idea of being cheated on, he often can’t stop himself from doing it.
If you’ve been falling into the trap of becoming a controlling, jealous boyfriend, you need to force yourself to relax and just give her your trust from now on.
In a relationship with a woman, you can never really trust her 100% that she will be faithful, loyal and committed for life because she’s a human being, not a robot.
Human beings can change the way they feel and even if a woman says, “I do” on her wedding day, it doesn’t mean that she can’t change her mind about that later on.
It sucks, but that’s how human relationships work. There is no guarantee unless you make the relationship work by deepening her feelings of respect, attraction and love over time.
When it comes to trust, you have to bravely give her 100% of your trust in her and let her take care of it. She might betray your trust one day, but she might also be one of the women who remain faithful, loyal and committed for life.
To make a relationship work, you have to give the woman 100% of your trust and just let her be in control of maintaining it. It’s the only way to allow the relationship to mature and develop over time.
If you don’t give her your trust, you will simply turn her off because you will be acting insecure, jealous, controlling and being too possessive of her.
As a man, you need to be the more emotionally courageous one in a relationship. You’ve got to be willing to put your trust on the line and let the relationship unfold naturally.
3. He stops trying to achieve anything else in life and puts his entire focus on her.
Guys in this situation may begin to make mistakes at work (or at university) and get into trouble with their manager or boss, call in sick for work, stop hanging out with friends and essentially turn into an obsessed boyfriend who feels as though his life is falling apart because his girlfriend may be cheating.
It’s understandable that a guy will feel shocked and disappointed by the possibility of his girlfriend cheating.
I know that all too well because it happened to me many years ago, which eventually lead me to fix my issues with women and become the sort of guy that woman would never want to cheat on or leave.
That then lead me to create The Modern Man and here I am today, typing up my 657th article for this site to help you and guys like you.
Based on my personal experience of being cheated on and then dumped by a woman many years ago, I can understand that if you are worried about being cheated on by your girlfriend, you might allow that fear to take up a lot of your time and attention.
However, being insecure, worrying and obsessing over her is not going to achieve anything positive.
So, what should you do instead?
What you need to do is make sure that you continue to become a bigger and better man in life, by rising up to reach for your true potential as a man.
That way, your girlfriend can feel increasingly proud to be your woman. She can look up to you and respect you as her man who is becoming a bigger and better man in life, because you are rising through the levels of life and reaching for your true potential.
You are not one of those lost, insecure guys who hide from their true potential as a man behind a relationship with a woman.
You are constantly striving to make progress on your mission to achieve your biggest ambitions in life because you’re a brave, courageous, masculine man that a woman would never want to cheat on or leave.
4. He tries to make her feel guilty for causing him feel so insecure and desperate.
Regardless of whether a woman is at fault, she doesn’t want to find herself in a situation where her boyfriend is blaming her for his insecurity, desperation, neediness and clinginess.
What a woman wants to see is that her man remains emotionally strong, secure and mature no matter what challenges life throws at him.
Yes, it’s tough to be that strong at times, but you will get used to it the more that you live your life.
Part of what women refer to as being a real man, is when a guy has the emotional strength and maturity to remain in control of his emotions and keep moving forward in life, no matter how challenging things get.
So, any attempts to try to make your girlfriend feel guilty for causing you to feel insecure or upset, will not make her change her behavior or feel any more respect, love and attraction for you.
In fact, it’s just going to make her lose more respect, attraction and love for you than she already has. It may also make the idea of cheating on you or leaving you seem like an increasingly good idea to her.
5. He tells her that she can’t have any male friends or talk to any other guys unless he is there.
When a guy is inexperienced with relationships, he will often make the mistake of thinking that he owns his girlfriend and can tell her what she can and cannot do.
Yet, as he gains experience with relationships, he may one day come to realize the truth that a relationship is a decision by two individuals to be together.
Both he and the woman were individuals before they met, they are individuals when in a relationship and they will continue to be completely separate individuals if the relationship breaks up.
So, if a guy wants a woman (a human being with free will, just like he has) to stay in a relationship with him, he needs to be the sort of guy that she will want to stay with for life.
After all, she can decide to be with him or leave the relationship to find herself a new guy.
It may annoy you that women could do such a thing, but that’s how human relationships work.
People only stay connected with people who are relevant and beneficial in their life or are a part of their long term goals.
Everyone else is pretty much ignored and in the case of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, a woman will simply dump a guy and move on with her life if she wants to because, after all – she is an individual who is trying to live a happy, safe, enjoyable life.
This is confusing for a lot of guys, especially when their girlfriend has said things like, “I want to stay with you forever” or “I promise that I will never leave you” or “I want us to grow old together.”
Yet, that’s just what women say when they are in love. If a guy ruins her feelings of respect and attraction for him (e.g. by being controlling, insecure, clingy, etc), she can just as easily fall out of love and change her mind about wanting to be with him for life.
So, what should you do if your girlfriend has male friends and you suspect that she is cheating or going to cheat?
Be the sort of man that makes other guys look less attractive in comparison (e.g. be more confident, make progress towards achieving your biggest ambitions in life, make her feel feminine in comparison to your masculine way of being, etc).
What you need to realize is that you have a lot of direct control over how much or little attraction your girlfriend feels for you.
For example: If a boyfriend is being jealous, controlling, clingy and needy, he will be actively making his girlfriend lose respect for him and feel less attracted to him as a result.
However, if a boyfriend has the emotional maturity to remain confident, have high self-esteem and continue to push forward in life, his girlfriend will naturally respect him and feel attracted to him.
6. He begins spying on her emails, texts or social media messages.
Sometimes, a boyfriend will have access to his girlfriend’s e-mails, Facebook or other social media account because he knows the password or can look at her phone or use her computer when she’s not around.
Spying on his girlfriend’s e-mails, texts or social media messages will often make a jealous, insecure boyfriend feel shocked at how his girlfriend is talking to other guys (e.g. co-workers, fellow students at university, or even past boyfriends or lovers).
Here’s the thing though…
Most guys in this world are afraid to approach and talk to women in person, so they hide behind texts, e-mails and social media messages and attempt to get women to like them that way.
Even if a woman already has a boyfriend, fiancé or husband, she will always get messages from random guys from her past, guys that she knows from work or random guys that she has never met.
If your girlfriend is committed to you and has no plans of cheating on you or dumping you, then she will naturally ignore most message and only reply to some every now and then.
However, if you go and look through them, you might be shocked if she is having a fun conversation with a random guy from work, who clearly seems to be flirting with her.
At that point, you might feel annoyed and want to confront her about it, but it really isn’t the best approach to use.
What you should say (in a relaxed, emotionally stable manner) is that you had a suspicion that she might be cheating on you or about to cheat, so you had a look at some messages on her phone or Facebook.
You can then say, “I’m disappointed that you’ve been doing that. At this point, you’re either going to apologize to me and promise me that you’ll never do that again, or we are going to break up now and part ways.”
As long as you are being the more mature, emotionally stable one, she will respect your approach and feel guilty for having done it.
Stopping Her From Cheating
The best approach to use that will prevent your girlfriend from wanting to cheat is to be the sort of man who she can be proud of being with.
You’ve got to deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time, rather than thinking that she’s going to stick around forever because things felt good at the start.
To keep a relationship together in today’s world, you literally have to be the sort of guy that a woman really wants to stay with.
If you don’t approach it in that way, she will naturally get bored and may break up with you, cheat on you behind your back or treat you so badly that you eventually break up with her.
So, if you’re worried about being cheated on your girlfriend, the best way to prevent it or stop it from happening again is to become and be the sort of man that she really wants to be with.