Here are the 4 main things you should do now that she’s sent you a friend request on Facebook (if you want her back):
1. Before accepting her friend request, make sure that your profile is going to attract her
Delete any sad quotes that you may have posted, especially if she broke up with you for being insecure or needy.
Delete anything immature if she broke up with you for being immature.
Delete anything that sounds desperate or unmanly.
Essentially, you need to make sure that your social media reflects a new, upgraded version of you.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that on Facebook (and other social media) are by…
- Posting quotes that reflect your new mindset (e.g. “Attitude is a choice,” or “Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create,” or “It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow and transform.”)
- Talking about some of the positive changes that have happened since you and your ex girlfriend broke up (e.g. getting a promotion at work, passing your exams, moving into a new house or apartment).
- Discussing the fun things you’ve been doing (e.g. going away for a weekend to an interesting new place and about all the fascinating people you met there, taking up a new sport or hobby).
The key is to show your ex girlfriend that you’ve really transformed yourself into a much better version of the man you were when you and her broke up, so she wants to interact with you.
When she feels drawn to you again in a good way, getting her on a phone call with you or to a meetup becomes easy, because she’s willing to take the chance on you.
She’s curious and intrigued by the new you and she wants to see what else is different about you.
You can then easily reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.
So, focus on making her first impression of you after the break up a good one (i.e. by updating your profile to reflect a new, more attractive version of you).
Important: Don’t post anything that is not true.
If your ex catches you out on a lie (which most women usually do), she will lose all respect and attraction for you.
Then, getting her back becomes a lot more difficult for you, because she feels turned off.
The next thing you should do is…
2. If you don’t have any new photos of you having fun with people lately, get that done this week
You don’t have to ignore your ex girlfriend while you update your photos on your profile.
You can still add her now.
However, get onto that and get it done as quickly as possible.
Even though a woman usually won’t admit it, she will absolutely feel more attraction for a guy who gets on with having fun and enjoying his life without her, compared to a guy who sits around feeling sad, lonely and stuck.
Of course, some guys are afraid to do that and wonder something along the lines of, “Won’t having fun without her just make her regret sending me a friend request? If I seem happy and like the break up with her hasn’t left me hurt and lost, won’t she assume that I’m over her? If she thinks that, how will I be able to convince her to get back with me again?”
Yet, a guy that wonders things like that probably doesn’t understand what really attracts a woman.
He mistakenly assumes that a woman wants to see her ex falling apart without her.
She will then feel flattered and want to give him another chance.
Yet, in reality, a woman is more attracted to the emotional strength in a man.
So, if he is able to handle the breakup and still get on with living a good life and being happy without her, even though he does still want her back, she will feel a huge amount of respect for him.
When she respects him, she will naturally start to feel attracted to him again and then reconnecting with her feelings of love becomes possible.
On the other hand, if she sees that he’s falling apart and is unable to move forward without her, she will automatically feel turned off by what she perceives as his emotional weakness.
Then, even if she sent him a friend request on Facebook, that’s about as much interaction with him as she’ll want to have.
By the way…
Even if your ex girlfriend pretends to be upset that you seem to be having fun without her and says things along the lines of, “How could you move on so quickly?” or “I guess what we had together didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me if you’re already having so much fun without me,” she’s almost certainly testing you to see if you really are happy without her or just pretending to be.
That’s why, the best way to respond to comments like that is by saying something like, “Hey, I’m just getting on with my life. What did you want me to do? Sit around and cry? You broke up with me, so it’s over. You can’t expect me to put my life on hold and pine for you forever. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with having fun and enjoying life.”
She will then naturally feel attracted to you for sticking to your guns and not backing down.
She will also likely feel a bit embarrassed for making it out as though she expects you to just sit around and wait for her, even though she technically doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
In any case, when she realizes that you’re being an emotionally strong, emotionally independent man with or without her, she will start to feel drawn to you again in a good way.
Her guard will come down and she will be more open to going from messaging you on Facebook to talking to you over the phone, to seeing you in person.
So, just know this: Posting photos of yourself having fun with other people, is actually a good thing.
It makes you seem more attractive, appealing and likable to her, even if she might act like it isn’t having any effect on her and that opens the doors to fully reactivating her feelings for you and getting her back.
The next thing you should do is…
3. Message back and forth with her briefly and then get to a phone call
The biggest mistake a guy who wants he ex back can make at this point, is to get stuck messaging on social media and not getting any further than that.
So, make sure that after a few messages between you and your ex girlfriends on Facebook, you call her on the phone so that you can begin reactivating her feelings for you again.
For example: Imagine you and her have chatted a couple of times via text.
You might then send her a message along the lines of, “Hey, I have something I want to ask you over the phone. I’m going to call you in 10 minutes, okay?”
In most cases, if you’ve been relaxed and easygoing while messaging back and forth with her, your ex will likely respond with something like, “Okay, sure,” or “Fine.”
You can then go ahead and call her in 10 minutes’ time.
Of course, if she responds in a negative way and says something along the lines of, “No, don’t call me. I don’t want to talk to you over the phone. Just ask me what you want now,” don’t get discouraged.
Instead, maintain your confidence with her and respond with, “Hey, I just want you to know that I accept that we’re broken up and I don’t have any intention of making you do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. However, what I need to ask you needs to be done over the phone. Look, I promise it won’t take long. I just need 2 minutes of your time and if you feel like hanging up on me after that, I promise I won’t bother you again, okay?”
At that point, she will likely agree, even if it’s out of curiosity to see what you want.
You can then go ahead and call her.
4. Have a good laugh together on the phone call and then, if she seems keen, suggest a catchup
Be prepared for her to answer the phone with something like, “Fine, you’ve called me. What do you want to ask me?” or “You have 2 minutes. Start talking fast!”
Regardless of what she says, make sure you remain calm and confident.
From there, use humor to bring down her guard and make her open up to you again.
The more you make her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you, the more likely it is that her defenses will start to come down.
Then, after a bit more lighthearted conversation where you continue re-attracting her, ask her to meet up with you in person.
For example: You can say, “Hey, it’s been great talking again. It’s good to see that we can still have a laugh even though we’re no longer together. Anyway… what I wanted to ask you was this: Let’s catch up for a cup of coffee or a drink to say hello as friends. Of course, it’s not about us getting back together. It’s just a quick catchup to say hello in person. We’re mature enough to do that, right?”
If you’ve created enough feelings of respect and attraction inside of her during the phone call (i.e. by being confident, using humor, letting her sense that you are emotionally stronger than before), she will likely say “Yes,” and agree to catch up with you.
You can then meet up with her and make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again.
Don’t meet up with her and just have a nice, friendly chat.
Remember: If you pretend you just want to be her nice, neutral friend, she will only ever have platonic, friendly feelings for you.
To make her want to be your girl again, you’ve got to turn on the charm and make her feel sexually attracted to you once more.
If you do that, she will naturally begin to open up and you will get her back quite easily.
By the way…
If she doesn’t seem keen or interested to meet up with you, don’t push her to the point where she starts to get annoyed and then decides to unfriend you.
Instead, just end the call and give it a few days to a week before you message her again.
Then, spark some more of her feelings and try for a meeting again.
Chances are, this time around she will say “Yes.”
However, if she still doesn’t seem interested, start to make her feel jealous and as though she is losing you by posting photos of you having fun with other people, especially women.
When she sees that you’re not hung up about the fact that she won’t meet up with you and are having a good time without her, she will naturally begin to feel as though she’s missing out.
She will start to worry that if she doesn’t at least catch up with you one last time, she might be making the mistake of letting a great guy go and end up regretting it later on.
As a result, she stops being so stubborn and she opens up to seeing you again.
At the meetup, make sure that you build up the sexual tension between you and her (e.g. by using ballsy humor to make her feel attracted, flirting with her to create a spark between you).
Then, if she seems keen, release that tension with kissing and sex and get her back.
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