5 common reasons why a woman will be angry about that and how to get her back:
1. She feels as though you never took her seriously because you could get away with it
Sometimes, a woman might feel that she’s the only one putting in all the effort to make the relationship work.
Basically, she’s always compromising and putting her guy’s needs ahead of her own, while he always seems to be the one taking or having things his way.
For example: Some of the things that can cause a woman to feel taken for granted in her relationship are:
- She supports his big goals and dreams while he either ignores what she wants to accomplish in life or even makes fun of her.
- She picks up after him, while he never pulls his weight.
- He lies to her.
- He’s irresponsible.
- He doesn’t consider her feelings when making plans.
- She’s not his priority.
She might then get angry with him and say something along the lines of, “I’ve had it with you! I’m sick and tired of always doing things your way. I’m going to break up with you and live life my way for a change.”
He might then apologize to her and even do some things to appease her (e.g. like wash the dishes for a change, take her out on a special dinner date, stay home with her rather than go out with his friends).
Then, once her anger has worn off, he goes back to being the same as before.
He knows that she won’t leave him, because she still loves him.
Additionally, she’s threatened to walk out on him before and she never has, so he doesn’t take her seriously.
Instead, he likely thinks she’s in one of her ‘moods’ again.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that for a woman to feel motivated to stick in a relationship with a guy and be a good woman to him, she needs to feel loved, appreciated and respected.
So, if he constantly refuses to take her feelings seriously, or simply assumes that because she loves him she will put up with it, she will slowly begin to disconnect from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
Eventually, she will get to the point where she has had enough and will go through with a breakup.
Of course, the guy will feel shocked and may quickly take steps to change and improve himself so that he can get her back.
From his point of view, he’s doing what she always wanted him to do, so he expects her to be happy.
However, from her perspective, she feels angry that it had to take her walking out of the relationship, for him to take her seriously.
Here’s the thing…
If you want your ex to stop being angry and open back up to giving you another chance, you have to show her via your attitude, actions, behavior and most importantly, the way you respond to her, that you will never take her feelings for you for granted again.
When she can see for herself that if she got back with you, things would definitely be different and that you wouldn’t take her for granted again, she will naturally stop putting up walls every time you interact with her.
This then allows her to calm down and open back up to interacting with you more, over the phone and in person.
From there, just focus on making every interaction she has with you fun, interesting and relaxed (e.g. by using humor to make her laugh, smile and feel good to be around you again, flirting with her to create some sexual tension) and she will naturally feel a desire to work on the relationship and give you another chance.
Another common reason why a woman will be angry that it took a break up for you to finally change is…
2. She was starting to come to terms with not having you in her life, so she is now struggling to decide
A woman might sometimes break up with a guy that she still has feelings for.
Why?
Deep down she feels that he’s never going to level up as a man (e.g. become more confident, treat her more like a desirable woman than a neutral friend, be more assertive, stop taking her for granted), no matter how often she nags him, they get into arguments and fights, or she threatens to leave him.
So, rather than settle for a man who doesn’t yet know how to be the man that she wants, she may decide to break up with him and try to move on.
She will then focus on getting over him as best she can.
For example: She might…
- Try to distract herself with work or studies.
- Focus on pursuing some of her big dreams in life (e.g. becoming an artist, musician, social media influencer, actress, lawyer).
- Go traveling.
- Go out with her single friends to clubs, bars and parties to have some fun (e.g. dance, drink alcohol) and maybe even meet new men.
- Join an online dating site or an app like Tinder to meet new men.
- Join a meetup group in her area so that she can connect with like-minded people, especially men.
Then, as the days and possibly even weeks go by, she may notice that she’s slowly moving on and that she’s not thinking about her ex all the time like she used to.
If her ex then suddenly reappears in her life as a changed man and wants her back, she will naturally feel angry and confused.
She might then think something along the lines of, “I’ve spent all this time trying to get over him and I thought I’d finally managed to heal, and now he’s back in my life, which wouldn’t be a problem if he was still the same jerk I broke up with. Unfortunately, he’s not! Instead, he’s changed and is now everything I always wanted him to be and that makes me feel so angry! Why did it have to take a break up for him to finally change? Why didn’t he love me enough to just change when we were together? What should I do now? On the one hand, I’ve finally gotten a handle on my emotions and my life and I’m starting to feel happy without him. Yet, on the other hand, he’s now the man I always wanted him to be. What if I let him go and then end up regretting it for the rest of my life? How will I be able to handle it if I see another woman getting to enjoy the new him, after everything I put up with? I feel so confused! I just don’t know what to do.”
Here’s the thing…
It’s only natural that your ex might be angry with you if she’s just managed to start getting on with her life and you’re now back a better man than you were before.
However, it doesn’t mean she will remain angry with you for very long.
It all depends on what you do from now on.
If you just use interactions to make her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you and being around you again, no matter how hard she tries, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect for you for being man enough to change and improve (even if you waited until after the break up to do it).
When she starts respecting you again, she will also begin to feel attracted to you and with those two things, it’s only a matter of time before she starts to reconnect with her feelings of love as well.
So, don’t be afraid of calling her, even if you think she might not like it, or that she will continue to be angry with you.
It doesn’t matter what she says right now.
What matters is what works and re-attracting her on a call so she wants to see you in person works almost 100% of the time.
Another common reason why a woman will be angry that it took a break up for you to finally change is…
3. She is wondering whether you just want to get her back to feel like you have power over her again, or because things really will be different now
In some cases, a woman will be so in love with a guy, that she will put up with his mistakes a lot longer than she should.
Essentially, she makes excuses to herself about him and convinces herself that he will change and that he does love her.
Yet, if nothing changes she may eventually call it quits and break up with him.
So, when the guy then finally changes and tries to get her back she may worry that he’s just doing it to get the thrill of seducing her back.
He will then have power over her, because he knows that she still wants him, even though her stuffed up before.
Of course, she also wonders if maybe things really will be different now.
As a result, she feels angry and confused and doesn’t know if she should take the risk and give him another chance, or just stay broken up and focus on finding herself a new man.
Here’s the thing though…
If you want to convince your ex that things will be different this time, you can’t try and convince her with words, because chances are high that she will continue to push you away to protect herself from being hurt by you again.
So, what should you do instead?
You need to show her via your attitude, actions, behavior and the way you respond and react to her that things are already different.
Here are some examples of how you can do that…
- Instead of letting her call all the shots during interactions with her over the phone and in person, take control in an emotionally masculine manner and lead the way.
- Instead of constantly worrying about her being angry that it took a break up for you to finally change, be confident and believe in yourself, knowing she will quickly see that you are valuable to her.
- Instead of being nice or neutral around her and then waiting for her to give you a sign that she’s open again, be bold and flirt with her to create so much sexual tension between you and her so that she wants to release it with hugging, kissing and sex.
- Instead of being too serious around her and only talking about the relationship with her, use humor to make her laugh, smile and feel happy to be around you again.
- Instead of getting upset when she acts angry and pushes you away, remain calm and easy-going.
The more she notices that you’re making her feel attracted in the ways that she always wanted but didn’t get, the more her sexual and romantic feelings for you begin coming back.
It’s then pretty easy for you to get her back and enjoy a new and improved relationship with her.
Another common reason why a woman will be angry that it took a break up for you to finally change is…
4. She still loves you and is angry that this is the sort of relationship she’s involved in
Most women don’t want to go through the trauma of a breakup to make a man treat her better and give her a better attraction experience.
So, if a woman does discover that her guy only changed after putting her through the pain of breaking up, she will understandably feel angry and disappointed.
She may even begin thinking things like, “Is this the kind of relationship I’m going to have with him? Will I have to break up with him every time I want him to change something? That can’t be normal. I don’t want to be his policeman and always threaten him to make him behave like the man I want him to be. If I do that I won’t be able to respect him because he’s not his own man. Instead, he’s simply doing what he thinks I want him to do, which takes the romance out of the relationship. Also, always having to push him to become the man he should be, makes it hard for me to relax and just love him. Maybe it’s better to just stay broken up and focus on finding myself a new man to be in a relationship with. Someone who is already the man I want him to be without all the stress and drama.”
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, you have to show her (not tell her) via your attitude, actions, behavior and the way you respond to what she says and does that things will be different this time.
Not only that, but you will also have to prove to her that you’re no longer the kind of guy who is always going to need her to nag, threaten and bully you into addressing any issues that might arise in your relationship with her in the future.
How can you do that?
By responding differently to situations than you did before.
For example: If your ex says something like, “I’m so angry that it took a break up for you to finally change! I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship with you anymore. My feelings for you have changed. I think it’s better that we move on and find other people to be with,” rather than get upset and emotional about it, you can use it as an opportunity to make her feel respect and attraction for you and show her that you’re at a new level as a man now.
A simple way to do that is by responding in an unexpected way and making her smile and laugh.
For example: You might say something like, “I bet you’re expecting me to start begging and pleading with you and saying that I’ve changed right now, aren’t you? Okay, here goes…” then jokingly say, “Please baby, please! I‘ve changed. I’ve really, really changed!”
Make sure you sound playful and then laugh with her about it.
You can then add something like, “Seriously though, I get why you’re angry with me right now. If I was in your position I’d also be annoyed that it had to take a break up for you to get some sense. However, I’m not that guy anymore. I know I didn’t behave like the man you deserved and unfortunately, it did take a break up for me to figure out that I wasn’t making you feel the way you wanted to feel. I don’t expect you to believe me right now, but I have learned my lesson. So, all I’m asking is that we just stay friends for now and see how we feel. If you then decide that you don’t want to be with me anymore, I’ll respect your wishes.”
In this way, you’re responding differently to the way she’s expecting you to and acknowledging that you behaved in ways that were unattractive to her, while also making her feel heard and understood.
Additionally, you’re also making her smile and laugh by making a joke about your past behavior.
Naturally, because she still loves you, this approach will quickly break down her walls.
She will start seeing you in a new, more positive light.
At the same time, she will be more willing to take a chance on getting back with you, because based on your approach, she starts to believe that things really will be different now.
Remember: When you renew her feelings of respect and attraction for you, her guard comes down and she naturally feels drawn to you in a way that feels good to her.
From there, all you need to do is to continue saying and doing the types of things that attract her while you confidently guide her back into a relationship that’s 100% better than before.
Another common reason why a woman will be angry that it took a break up for you to finally change is…
5. She went through many months or years of embarrassment around family and friends for you
When a woman’s family and friends notice that she’s unhappy in her relationship with a guy, or that he’s not treating her well, they may understandably try to convince her to dump him.
For example: Her parents and siblings might say things like, “Why are you putting up with him? You’re a beautiful woman and you can have your pick of men if you wanted. Yet, you choose to stay with that jerk who is messing you around. He’s not good enough for you. Why won’t you see that and leave him? You deserve better!”
Of course, initially, she will defend him and say things like, “He’s not that bad,” or “You don’t see him the way I do. He’s not a horrible person. Yes, he’s made some mistakes, but he really does care for me.”
Yet, over time, she will likely begin to feel embarrassed every time her family and friends notice that he’s still making the same mistakes and she’s still putting up with it.
She may even begin to avoid going out with her friends, or joining her family for get-togethers (e.g. over the holidays or weekends), just so she doesn’t have to face their looks or comments of worry or disappointment.
So, if she finally does break up with her guy and he then quickly changes and becomes more of the man she wanted him to be all along, rather than jump at the chance of being his girl again, she instead pushes him away.
Why?
She’s angry that all of the discomfort and embarrassment she went through could have been avoided if he had just cared enough to change back then.
Of course, that doesn’t mean she won’t give him a chance because of that.
Here’s the thing…
If you want your ex to stop being angry and give you another chance with her, the important thing is that you don’t lose confidence and give up.
Instead, you need to continue reactivating her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you during interactions.
At the same time, you have to show her that no matter what she says or does (e.g. she’s cold and aloof, she continues to pretend that she’s angry with you), you don’t go back to making the same attraction mistakes that made her break up with you in the first place.
The more you maintain your confidence with her, the more she will realize that the changes are for real.
She will then drop her guard and open back up to the idea of giving you another chance.
Over time, not only will she be happy that she did, but she will also feel proud to finally show you off to her family and friends.
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