If your girlfriend has changed her behavior towards you and is no longer treating you with love, care and warmth like she did when you first got into a relationship, it means that she’s losing touch with her feelings of respect, love and attraction for you.
This can happen if you are setting off more negative negative chain reaction effects in your relationship than positive ones.
How can you avoid her changing even more and get her to reconnect with her original feelings for you?
The easiest way to get her to care about you like she used to and begin being a good girlfriend again is to begin triggering her feelings of attraction, respect and love for you.
If you don’t do that soon, she will most-likely fall out of love with you and then break up with her.
Just because you attracted her at the start of the relationship, it doesn’t mean she is attracted to you now.
If you have been turning her off, you need start turning her back on and making her feel happy and excited to be with you.
You don’t have to do a lot of work to achieve that.
You just need to focus on giving her the attraction experience she really wants (e.g. if you’re too soft and gentle with her, but she needs a guy with a bit more balls, you need to start being more assertive. If you’re too selfish and take her for granted, you need to start being more loving and giving).
Don’t go overboard though and go from one extreme to the other.
Whatever you have been lacking, you need to start adding that in, rather than flooding the relationship with it.
Understanding What Caused Your Girlfriend to Change
There’s no getting away from the fact that if your girlfriend is no longer the way she was at the beginning of your relationship, there has to be a good reason for it.
Something happened to cause her feelings for you to change, and if you’re saying, “My girlfriend has changed” and wondering how you can get her to change back, then you probably aren’t really sure why she stopped feeling the way she used to.
Women will rarely come out and say what is really bothering them.
A woman would rather say things like, “You’re so selfish” or “Why do you always play those stupid video games?” or “Why do you always let everyone push you around?” than say what she really means. Why?
2 main reasons:
1. To avoid being hurt
In the past, and even in many places around the world today, women have been beaten and even killed if they tried to stand up to, or break up with a guy.
So, in order to protect herself, a woman would rather “hint” at what’s bothering her, in the hopes that her boyfriend will figure it out and fix himself, rather than actually say what’s on her mind and face getting hurt.
You might be the sort of boyfriend who would never physically hurt your girlfriend, but she is still going to have that survival instinct to protect herself.
2. To avoid taking on the role of teacher
Almost all women do not want to be a guy’s teacher on how to be a man.
She wants her boyfriend to figure out (without her guidance or leadership) what the issues in their relationship are, and then take action like a real man to fix them.
She doesn’t want to feel like she is his mother or teacher in life because that would ruin her feelings of sexual attraction for him.
Being a mother figure, big sister or teacher to her boyfriend is unattractive to almost all women.
If she is forced into that role, she won’t be able to fully respect, love and feel attraction for her boyfriend because she will see him as being immature and childish compared to her.
A woman wants to be able to look up to her man with respect and rely on him to be emotionally strong and wise, rather than having to lift him up, carry him along and help him grow up and be a real man.
As a boyfriend, not getting a clear reason about what is bothering her in the relationship can make it difficult for you to be certain about what really made her feelings for you change.
This is why you have to be brutally honest with yourself and decipher her “hints” so that you can understand the deeper meaning behind her casual words.
For example: Here is what a woman usually means when she says:
You’re so selfish.
This is a woman’s way of saying, “You are taking me for granted and I am no longer feeling loved, appreciated or attractive when I’m with you.”
When a woman stops feeling the way she wants to feel, it’s natural that her feelings for her man will change and she will start losing respect and attraction for him.
If he doesn’t catch on to her “hints” and make changes to regain her respect and attraction for him, she will eventually fall out of love with him.
Unlike in the past where a woman had to be stuck in a bad relationship for life, today’s women will quickly break up with a guy for not making them feel the way they want to feel in a relationship.
Why do you always play those stupid video games?
There’s nothing wrong with a guy playing video games, but if a woman is saying that to her boyfriend, it usually means, “What are your goals and ambitions for your life and for our future together?
Why are you spending all your time and energy on this, rather than becoming a bigger and better man in the real world?
Can I rely on you to provide and protect me in the long run?
Have you given up on reaching for big goals in life now that you’ve got me? Is this all that your life is going to amount to?”
In a woman’s eyes, playing video games is not achieving anything in the real world.
She wants to know that she can rely on her man to lead them both towards a better life, rather than hiding behind games, or whatever excuse he’s using not to pursue his dreams.
There’s nothing wrong with playing video games (I play and I’m happily married), but video games cannot come before you achieving your big goals or making your woman feel attracted and in love with you.
You should only be playing video games when you really have spare time, rather than playing because you are avoiding working on what you know you should.
Why do you always let everyone push you around?
This is a woman’s way of saying, “I need you to take the lead and be the man in the relationship” or “I don’t want you to let me boss you around all the time. Grow some balls.”
One of the biggest mistakes guys make in a relationship is believing that a woman wants a “nice” guy who is always agreeable and easy going and lets her (and everyone else) make all the decisions for him.
In the real world, women are attracted to confident, masculine men who can take the lead in a relationship and in life.
A woman will lose her respect and attraction for her guy if friends regularly disrespect him or if he is looked down on in social situations.
If she realizes that his behavior stems from insecurity, neediness, lack of confidence or an inability to be a masculine guy who is respected by others, she will find it difficult to maintain any real feelings for him.
She might like him as a person and care about him as a friend, but she won’t want to have sex with him or be stuck with him for life.
Feelings Always Change
As you’ve probably seen throughout your life, feelings are not cast in stone.
For example: There may have been times where you originally liked someone, and then for various reasons, your feelings changed and you started disliking them.
Of course, the opposite is also true.
Just because right now you’re saying, “My girlfriend has changed her behavior towards me” it doesn’t mean her feelings for you cannot change again for the positive.
Right now, your girlfriend may not feel like she wants to be with you in a relationship.
She might have even said that she doesn’t love you anymore, or even that she wants to break up with you. However, her feelings about you can definitely change.
If the way in which you’re currently communicating with her is turning her off, she’s going to be behaving coldly towards you and it’s even likely that she’s going to be pushing you away and saying she doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
For example, if you’re:
- Begging and pleading with her to give you another chance.
- Asking her to forgive you for your past mistakes (e.g. insecurity, neediness, jealousy, etc), even though you don’t know how to properly fix those mistakes.
- Promising her that you’ll change.
- Asking her to explain why her feelings for you have changed.
Approaching your girlfriend in that way isn’t going to fix the situation.
It will simply remind her that you don’t understand her, don’t understand how to be the man she needs and you probably don’t even care about improving yourself.
You just want her to love you the way that she used to.
On the other hand, when you change your communication style with her and present yourself as a man who has already begun to fix his issues and improve himself, she will naturally begin to think about you differently.
She will start to feel renewed sense of respect for you as a man and this will make her open to feeling attraction and love for you again.
Changing How She Feels Before You Lose Her
Right now, you might not know how to make your girlfriend feel attraction and respect for you again.
Maybe you feel like you’ve lost your way with her and that it’s too late to get her back.
You might feel as though you’ve tried everything (you haven’t) and nothing that you’ve done has worked (you’ve been trying the wrong things).
So, just relax.
Know that you can fix this.
You are a smart man, but you have simply been missing a few pieces to the puzzle and have been trying all the wrong things to fix the problem (e.g. being nicer to her, trying to get her to work on the relationship, showing her how upset you are).
Don’t worry – today is a new day and you really can turn this around and get her to be a good girlfriend to you once again.
At The Modern Man, we’ve helped men from all over the world to fix a broken relationship with a woman or get a woman back after breaking up when everything seemed so lost and hopeless.
We’ve seen all sorts of cases where a woman will say, “I hate you” or “I never want to see you again” and yet when her guy made her feel differently, she naturally opened herself back up to the relationship again.
She reconnected with her feelings and her behavior went back to being loving, caring and warm once again.
As long as you focus on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you as a man, she will naturally begin to reconnect with her feelings of love for you.
Her behavior may have changed recently, but that doesn’t mean she can’t change back and become an even better girlfriend to you.
In fact, what most women really want is a man who makes them feel motivated to be a better woman to them.
Women don’t want you to say, “Hey, be a better girlfriend to me,” though.
Instead, it’s about making her feel so respectful of you, so attracted and so in love that she does it because she wants to make you happy and never lose you.