If your girlfriend wants to leave you, it means that she’s no longer feeling enough love, respect and attraction for you to warrant being in a relationship.
She might like you as a person or care about your feelings, but she just isn’t able to feel what she wants to feel when in a relationship.
The Shock of Potentially Losing Your Girlfriend
If you’re saying, “My girlfriend wants to leave me,” chances are high that you’re feeling shocked, surprised and hurt right now.
You may even be saying to yourself, “I don’t understand what happened. I thought we were doing fine. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but isn’t that how all relationships are? I just never saw it coming; this is just so sudden. Why can’t she just give it another chance?”
The first thing you have to understand is that a woman doesn’t just suddenly decide she wants to leave you. She goes through a long process and will first give you plenty of warnings (whether verbally, or by the way she behaves), to let you know how unhappy she is.
If you miss these warnings, you will find yourself saying, “My girlfriend wants to leave me,” and wondering what went wrong and how she could have fallen out of love with you so easily.
Secondly, just because your girlfriend is saying she wants to leave you right now, it’s not something that has to actually happen. When you change your thinking, communication style and behavior and make her feel heard and understood, she will naturally open up to the idea of staying with you.
After all…love doesn’t die. Right now your girlfriend may not want to connect with the love she felt for you, but it’s still there in the background and you can change how she feels. Love always remains alive, but it sometimes gets pushed into the background because superficial feelings (e.g. resentment, frustration, confusion) make it difficult to connect with it.
One of the most important things that you need to do to get her to reconnect with her feelings of love for you, is to begin to trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for you as a man.
If you don’t do that, then you will want to stay with her, but she just won’t be interested because the feelings won’t be mutual…
You’ve got to make sure that from now on, you are actively making her have feelings for you again.
That is what matters the most to her. She isn’t really concerned about your feelings right now.
She is thinking of leaving you, so she has reached a point where she thinks that you just won’t ever understand how to make her have feelings for you again.
Her Secret Reasons For Leaving You
Do you know the real reasons why your girlfriend wants to leave you, or just the superficial reasons that she’s given you?
For example, did she say things like, “I just need some space to sort myself out right now,” “I think we’ve grown apart,” “I don’t feel the same way about you anymore,” or “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now?”
A woman won’t always tell you exactly what has caused her to lose respect, love and attraction for you.
Why? She doesn’t want to be your teacher on how to be a man.
She doesn’t want to have to teach you how to be the man that she needs. She wants you to work that stuff out on your own and then come back to her and show her that you have truly improved and changed yourself. Only then will she feel happy with the idea of opening herself up to loving you again.
Most guys never truly know why their girlfriend (or fiancé or wife) wants to break up with them, so they never make the correct changes to their thinking and behavior. So, when they try to get their girlfriend back or make her change her mind, they end up offering her the wrong things.
If you want to stop your girlfriend from leaving you, you have to know the REAL reasons she wants to break up with you.
1. Did you stop making her feel loved, valued and attracted?
This is one of the main reasons why so many relationships fail. Usually at the beginning of a relationship, a guy goes out of his way to be romantic, attentive and loving. Yet, over time, he becomes more neglectful and stops taking notice of his girlfriend the way he used to in the beginning.
Usually, this is not an intentional thing. But, often guys allow “life” (e.g. paying bills, working late, studies, etc.) to intrude on their relationship.
Ask yourself, have you been taking your girlfriend for granted? When was the last time you genuinely noticed her and gave her genuine, positive feedback on how good she looks?
Have you fallen into a pattern of saying, “Mmmm… that’s okay,” when she wears a new outfit or does something thoughtful for you? When was the last time you genuinely told her that she’s special and that you’re grateful for the efforts she makes to look good for you and spoil you?
Or what about putting her first in your life; have you cancelled a date with her at the last minute because you got caught up with friends, more than once or twice?
Although it’s likely that it’s not your intention to make your girlfriend feel like you don’t value and appreciate her, this type of behavior says the opposite.
To keep a woman happy in a relationship with you, it is essential that you deepen the love, respect and attraction between you rather than taking it for granted and assuming that just because in your mind you love and appreciate her, she will automatically know this.
Actions speak louder than words and if your actions have been giving her the impression that you don’t care for her or appreciate her, she will naturally tell you she wants to leave you.
2. Did you become insecure, needy and clingy?
On the opposite side of taking a woman for granted, some guys get too involved in the relationship and become needy or clingy. They lose focus on all other areas of their life and end up using the relationship as an excuse to hide from their true potential in life.
For example, a guy may stop hanging out with his friends because he wants to spend all his time with his girlfriend.
Or, he might give up his hobbies because he’d rather take up something new that they can do together. He may spend all his spare time helping her with chores, running errands for her or helping her study.
He may shower her with gifts he can’t really afford. He may even give up the opportunity to get a promotion or a better job because it will take time away from her. He’ll often tell her, “You’re everything to me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
In his mind he’s being the romantic, loving and attentive boyfriend, but to her he’s being clingy, needy and overbearing.
Although initially a woman will be flattered by all the attention, eventually the novelty will wear off and she will begin to wonder why you’re using her and your relationship to hide from the world.
She’ll begin to question why you’re afraid to become a bigger and better man who likes to work hard on his purpose in life or his career, while also being able to give plenty of time, love and emotional support to her.
To be the kind of man your girlfriend will want to stay with, you have to make her feel respect for you. You have to be the kind of guy she can look up to and feel that if she sticks with you, you’ll “take her places.”
Showing Her That You’ve Improved and Changed
If you want to stop your girlfriend from leaving you, you have to first fix any emotional issues that are turning her off (i.e. you’re unable to control your jealousy, you are clingy, you take her for granted, you are afraid to commit, etc).
You can’t promise her, “Just give me another chance and I’ll change,” or “Whatever you need me to do I’ll do it if you stay.” You actually have to make the changes first and then let her see these changes in you, either in person or via your online presence on social media sites such as Facebook, Instagram, etc.
You don’t have to fully fix everything and become perfect to get her to change her mind, but what you need to do is start working on those emotional issues properly so that when she interacts with you, she will be able to pick up that you’ve really improved and changed.
She Won’t Leave You if You Make Her Realize That You’re a Better Option Than Other Men
You can sit around saying, “My girlfriend wants to leave me,” and wait for the day when you’ll hear that she’s got a new boyfriend or that she kissed a guy after going clubbing with her girlfriends on a Friday or Saturday night. Alternatively, you can show her that she’ll be a fool if she lets you go, because no other guy can make her feel the way that you can.
When you make the right changes to your thinking and behavior and present yourself in a way that makes her feel love, respect and sexual attraction for you, then she will naturally start thinking differently, talking differently, behaving differently and she will then instinctively feel drawn to you again.