If your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore, she may still be telling you that she cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but she’s just not in love anymore.
So, how can you fix that?
You need to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man.
When you make her feel respect and attraction for you again, the love that she used to feel for you will naturally begin flowing back into her heart and mind.
However, if a woman doesn’t respect her boyfriend (e.g. because he is insecure, has been annoying her, lacks purpose in life, is emotionally weak or sensitive, etc), then she will begin to lose touch with her feelings of attraction for him.
If that goes on for long enough, she will eventually fall out of love with him, which is the stage that you’re at now.
All Relationships Go Through Stages
All relationships go through stages and the initial feelings of lust and, if the couple approaches the relationship correctly, their intense physical desire for each other will eventually transition to deeper feelings of love, respect and emotional attraction.
A change in how you feel is normal and both you and your girlfriend should expect that to happen and be happy when it does, because it means that you’re on your way to reaching the deeper, more meaningful stages of a relationship.
If a guy lacks relationship experience, he might notice the change in feelings and begin to worry by thinking, “My girlfriend doesn’t love me anymore. What do I do?”
When he sees that she isn’t trying to rip his clothes off for sex anymore, or she doesn’t rush over to cuddle him at every chance she gets, he needs to understand that it doesn’t necessarily mean she has stopped loving him.
Instead, it usually just means that she’s secure in the relationship and is enjoying the next stage of it.
So, should you be worried about your girlfriend?
If you have caused her to lose love, respect and attraction for you because you’ve become insecure, needy, too protective or haven’t been enough of a man for her, then yes – you have cause to be concerned.
To get her love back, you will need to first get her respect back for you as a man, then her attraction and after that, she will naturally open herself up to loving you again.
Love is something that can be brought back to life under the right conditions, so you just need to make sure you create and maintain those conditions.
Your girlfriend may currently be saying that she doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, but that’s simply because you’re not saying and doing the kinds of things that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
If you’re slowly losing her, you’re probably coming across in a way that is further destroying her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you (e.g. you’re being insecure, needy, clingy or angry when interacting with you).
Why Has She Fallen Out of Love With You?
If your girlfriend has fallen out of love with you, something about your attitude or behavior in the relationship must have changed to cause her feelings for you to change.
If you want to turn things around and get your girlfriend to even more deeply in love with you than she was before, you must first understand what caused her change of heart before you can take the appropriate action to fix things and get her love back.
Consider the following…
1. Have you become needy or clingy?
A common mistake that is made by guys who begin to feel their girlfriend doesn’t love them anymore, is to start seeking her constant reassurance by asking things like, “Do you still love me?” or “How much do you love me?”
Being needy like that is a complete turn off for women.
Why? Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men, not the weakness, so the more that a guy asks her if she still finds him attractive or still loves him, the less attractive he becomes in her eyes – and so a vicious cycle begins.
Very often, needy behavior leads into clinginess, which then causes a woman to lose even more respect and attraction for her guy.
2. Have you become too possessive or controlling?
Neediness and clinginess usually go hand-in-hand with jealousy, overly possessive and controlling behavior.
For example: If a guy’s girlfriend is suddenly spending more time with her friends, he will see as a sign that she doesn’t love him anymore or that her friends are trying to get in the way of their relationship.
He might then try to stop her from hanging out with her friends or make her constantly reassure him that she still loves him and isn’t going to cheat on him or leave him. That type of insecurity is such a turn off for women that it’s almost enough of a reason for most women to break up with a guy and never look back.
Women feel naturally attracted to confident guys who are secure in who they are (i.e. they don’t feel threatened by their girlfriend’s friendships and don’t become overly-possessive of her when she chooses to spend time away from him).
Neediness, being overly possessive and being controlling will not make a woman feel more love for you at all. Instead, it will simply make her feel suffocated by you in your relationship and begin falling out of love with you as a result.
3. Have you been showing her enough appreciation?
Some guys aren’t needy, insecure or clingy at all.
In fact, they are the total opposite and essentially don’t care about their girlfriend. He simply expects her to stick around and put up with his bad behavior because they are a couple.
Yet, unlike women from the early 1900s, today’s women don’t have to stick around if they are unhappy in a relationship. It’s no longer shameful for a woman to break up with a guy and get in and out of relationships until she feels like she’s experiencing the kind of mutual love, respect and attraction that she deserves.
Here’s the thing…
A woman does want to be with an independent man who has purpose in life and independent interests outside of the relationship that are important to him (e.g. his ambitions and goals, friends, family, etc), but if he constantly neglects her and fails to meet her needs in the relationship, she will eventually feel unappreciated and lose touch with her feelings of love for him.
An example is if the guy cancels plans with her at last minute, or lies about how busy he is to get out of doing certain things with her.
If he regularly change his plans at the last minute because something else comes up, she’s not going to feel important like an important person in his life.
What I Know About Love
In the lead up to getting engaged to my girlfriend (update: We recently got married), I slept with more than 250 women and had a number of great relationships.
Every time I was with a woman in the past, I had to break up the relationship because she would want to marry me or start a family with me, but I just wasn’t ready.
I’m glad that I didn’t settle down so quickly though because all of that experience has taught me a LOT about love.
One of the most important things I’ve discovered is that the love between a man and a woman will fade away if it isn’t taken care of.
You can’t just expect that a woman will continue to feel excited about being in love with you just because things felt good at the start. You have to deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.
The romantic love of a man and a woman is not unconditional and there is no guarantee that it will stay alive unless you actually take care of it.
For example: You and your girlfriend may have fallen MADLY in love with each other and been like that for years, but if you stop being a man for her or turn into an insecure, jealous, overly-protective guy, then her love will begin to fade away.
Knowing this, I educated myself on the right way to behave when in a relationship and then did that. The result was that the love between me and my girlfriends has always deepened and become stronger over time.
Since discovering what I now teach here at The Modern Man, no woman has ever wanted to break up with me. Even though I am in committed relationship with my perfect woman now, I still have ex-girlfriends contacting me and hoping that I might become available once again.
It’s a nice feeling to know that you’re wanted by women and that you’re going about things in the right way. It’s much better than sitting around worrying if her love will last or if she’s beginning to look elsewhere.
Getting Her Love Back
If you’re saying to yourself, “My girlfriend doesn’t love me anymore” and you want to get her love back, you just need to flick her “Good Girl Switch” back ON.
The truth is that a woman doesn’t want to fall out of love with her boyfriend.
She wants to be a good girlfriend for him, love him and treat him well.
When you flick her Good Girl Switch back ON, she immediately starts to behave differently around you.
She goes from saying that she doesn’t love you anymore, to saying that she loves you more now than she ever has.
From there, the relationship just gets better and better every day, week and year that you are together…