Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you should live in each other’s pockets.
Having friends and interests apart from each other is normal and healthy, and unlike in past generations where men could leave the house whenever they pleased while the women stayed at home, women today are as likely to have a “girls night” out as guys are to have a “guys night” out.
However, where do you draw the line? For example: Is it safe to let your girlfriend to go partying without you?
It depends. If you’re okay with it and it’s something the two of you agree to, then sure. However, if you’re saying, “My girlfriend likes to party and I don’t” you’re probably not feeling entirely comfortable with the “arrangement”. However, you don’t want to come across as being the clingy, needy, jealous and insecure boyfriend who tries to control his girlfriend’s every move, right?
Here’s the thing: If partying is an essential “must do” thing in your girlfriend’s life that she simply can’t live without, then she has to do it even if you don’t like it. She has to trust her gut instinct and follow her heart. However, that being said, when in a loving relationship, it’s also normal and natural for her to change over time.
Often, a woman will naturally reach a point in her life where she needs to change. She will find that she wants to stop behaving like she used to, stop doing what she did when she was single and she will start doing what is necessary to keep her relationship together for life, or at least for the long term.
She will realize that for a relationship to be happy, healthy and lasting, both her and her boyfriend have to work at growing the trust, respect, attraction and love they have for each other and this includes giving up certain things, like partying all the time.
The question is: If your girlfriend likes to party and you don’t should you be worried about it, or should you just relax and let her enjoy herself?
Trust is Vital in a Relationship
Being able to trust each other in a relationship is vital if the relationship is going to last and be happy. However, trust is also a very fragile thing. Although when in a relationship you HAVE to trust each other, you also have to be aware of the fact that that trust can easily be broken one day.
If your girlfriend is a decent woman who treats you with respect and generally doesn’t give you any reason to doubt her loyalty to you, then partying with her girlfriends once in a while is perfectly okay.
The question is: Is your girlfriend giving you other reasons to doubt her loyalty to you? Is she behaving in any of these ways?
1. Does she go partying with single girlfriends?
It’s one thing for a woman to hang out with friends who also have boyfriends. Even going to a club can be okay if she goes with other women who are in a committed relationship, because in a case like that it’s not about going out to find a man, but rather about dancing and having a good time together.
However, if your girlfriend is going out to clubs, bars and parties with SINGLE girlfriends who are looking to find a man, she is putting herself in a position to get hit on too.
By their very nature, nightclubs are designed for partying, drinking, dancing and finding someone to have sex with. Even if your girlfriend is not open to being hit on, simply by being around women who ARE, she is opening herself up to being approached by other men.
After a drink or two a person’s inhibitions naturally lessen, so, if your girlfriend continuously puts herself in a situation where she’s hanging out with other women looking to be picked up, and then has a few drinks and gets approached by a guy, she will be less likely to resist him.
This can mean she will openly flirt with him and she may even end up kissing him or taking his phone number.
If your girlfriend loves and respects you, she won’t be interested in going partying with single girlfriends and putting herself in a position to get hit on by men. Instead she’ll have just as much fun going out with her friends to restaurants, coffee shops or to each other’s houses.
2. Does she go partying with single men?
When a woman goes out with single, men such as guy friends or work colleagues on a regular basis, it’s not a good sign. Even if she’s not interested in them herself, someone in the group may be interested in her and is just waiting for her to have a few drinks and let her guard down to make his move.
No matter how much your girlfriend likes to party and you don’t, if it’s a choice between partying it up with other guys, or going somewhere else with you, you should always be her first choice. If you’re not, she’s clearly not as committed to being in the relationship as you are.
3. Does she insist on going partying without you?
When a woman feels love and respect for her boyfriend she would rather have him come along to most things with her. Short of it being a “girls only” birthday party, or wedding shower, if your girlfriend insists on going out partying by herself, she is clearly opening herself up to meeting other men.
In a relationship, you have to give a woman your full trust, but you still have to be aware of the red flags when they pop up. If your girlfriend would rather go out without you, it doesn’t sound like she considers you to be “the one” for her.
Maybe you’ve also simply stopped saying and doing the types of things that make her feel attracted to you. You might have fallen in the trap of taking her love, respect and attraction for granted and are just expecting that she will stick by you because things felt good at the start of the relationship.
4. Have you ever found an unknown guy’s number on her phone after a night out?
If a woman has a boyfriend and isn’t open to cheating on him, she won’t take another guy’s number. That being said, she could have taken the number just to get him to leave her alone, but if that was really the case, she would have at least told her boyfriend about it, or she would have deleted it quickly off her phone as soon as he turned his back.
What Are You Prepared to Do About it?
You can sit around saying, “My girlfriend likes to party and I don’t” and hoping that things will change by themselves. However, if your girlfriend is giving you cause to doubt her loyalty to you, you have to ask yourself, “Why am I putting up with this” and “What am I going to do to change it.”
If you love your girlfriend and you want to keep her in your life, it’s your responsibility as her man to grow the love and attraction between you so that she only has eyes for you.
If her eyes are wondering, then somewhere along the line you stopped making her feel the way she wants to feel, and she’s looking outside of your relationship for the attention, attraction and excitement she’s not getting from you.
Rather than sit around hoping she’ll “grow out of it” and eventually get over her desire to party, you have to identify the problems in your relationship and make an effort to fix any issues and attitudes that are pushing your girlfriend away from you.
On the other hand, if this is really a problem in your relationship, and no matter what you do, your girlfriend still wants to go partying when you don’t, ask yourself, “Why am I sticking around with a woman who doesn’t have the same values and interests as me?” Could it be that you don’t believe you can do better?
Whatever the case, we are here to help you. Whether you need to become the man that your girlfriend really wants you to be, or whether you want to build your confidence and go out and get yourself an even better girlfriend; we have everything you need right here on this website.
Click around and you will discover all the answers you need to fix the problems between you and your girlfriend…