Here are 5 ways to change how she feels about you, so she ends up loving you more and wanting to be with you:
1. Adjust your approach to attraction immediately
If your approach to attraction hasn’t worked in getting her to choose you over another guy, then don’t keep using that approach on her.
You can’t use the same old approach to attraction that you used in the past and expect her to be excited about it.
She’s not going to be.
Your approach might have worked when you first met her, but things have changed.
There’s someone else in her life who is making her feel a more powerful type of respect, attraction and love for him.
You need to beat that by offering her the type of attraction experience she really wants, but will never tell you about.
When you adjust and upgrade your approach to attraction, she will feel more attracted to you than she ever has before.
So, don’t make the mistake of using your old approach to attraction and hoping that it will work.
For example: Imagine a guy who uses an outdated, nice guy approach to attraction.
*This is probably not what you did of course, but it’s a good example to help you realize where other guys go wrong with a woman when trying to make her love them.
So, he tries to re-attract his girlfriend and make her love him more, by buying her gifts.
He thinks something like, “That’s how I got her to fall in love with me in the first place, so it has to work now. I’ll show her how much she means to me by buying her things and she will realize that I care way more about her than the other guy does. Then, she will fall in love with me again. She will know that no other guy will treat her the way I do.”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that while he’s trying to impress her with gifts, the other guy is making her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in his presence by attracting her in ways that actually matter to her the most (e.g. he is making her feel girly in comparison to his masculine vibe, using playfully challenging humor to make her feel excited around him, flirting with her with build up sexual tension that she then wants to release with kissing and sex).
So, from one guy she gets a bunch of flowers that make her feel appreciated, but the other guy makes her feel turned on, excited and attracted.
For the nice, sweet guy, she may feel a friendly type of love, but for the guy who knows how to turn her on (and who is most likely being a good guy to her), she feels sexual and romantic love for him.
As a result, she’s more likely to choose the other guy to be in a relationship with, than to stick with a guy she perceives as being a boring and predictable.
This is why, if you want your woman to love you and want you more, then you’ve got to try something new in terms of your approach to attraction.
If you’re not sure what you could possibly change about your approach to attraction, ask yourself, “When I’m interacting with her…”
- Do I make her feel respect and attraction for me by maintaining my confidence around her regardless of what she says or does to make me doubt myself, or do I turn her off by being insecure and unsure of myself?
- Do I make her feel feminine and girly by being emotionally masculine around her, or does she feel like the more dominant one because I let her lead the dynamic between us?
- Do I make her laugh, smile and feel relaxed around me, or does she feel tense, annoyed or bored?
- Do I make her feel the need to impress me and maintain my interest (what a woman really wants), or do I put in most of the effort to impress her and maintain her interest (not what a woman really wants)?
- Do I make her look up to me and feel proud to call me her man, or do I act and behave in ways that make her look down on me or feel embarrassed to be associated to me?
- Do I flirt with her to build up sexual tension between us, or do I normally talk to her like a friend?
- Do I laugh at her (in a loving way) when she brings up my past mistakes and blames me for the break up, or do I put myself down and feel unworthy of her?
If you are behaving in an attractive way, she is naturally going to feel attracted to you and drawn to you.
Yet, if the majority of your subtle behaviors are turning her off, or dulling her attraction for you, then she’s not going to feel like she is in love with you.
She may love you as a friend, or as an ex boyfriend, but she won’t be in love with you to the point where she wants to be with you and only you.
If you want to change her mind, then you need to change how she feels.
From now on, focus on adjusting your approach to attraction, so you are able to make her feel the way she really wants to feel when with a man.
If you do that, then she will naturally want to be with you and only you.
However, if you keep doing what you’ve done before, then she will naturally love the other guy more if he is able to give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants.
Another way to change how she feels about you and about him is to…
2. Shock her by attracting her in new and exciting ways
- If you have become insecure, needy and clingy, then start being more confident and emotionally strong all of a sudden. Regardless of what happens or what she says or does when you interact with her, just maintain your composure and show her that you’re now the kind of man she can rely on to be a man no matter what. This will shock her and surprise her in a positive way.
- If you’ve been treating her like just a friend lately, then start making her feel like a feminine woman around you (i.e. be a lot more masculine in the way you talk, think, feel, behave and act). Women are naturally attracted to masculinity, so don’t hide it. If you are just neutral with her because you’re afraid to be masculine, then she won’t feel like a feminine woman when interacting with you. If the other guy makes her feel more feminine, she will naturally love him more.
- If you’ve allowed her to walk all over you and call the shots, start taking the lead and be more manly and in charge around her from now on. It’s not about being overly domineering or demanding or anything like that. Instead, it’s about embracing your role as the man (i.e. the one who is more dominant). You don’t have to get your way all the time. Instead, you need to start taking the lead and getting her to do some of the things you want her to do.
- If you’ve been taking her for granted up to now, start pulling your weight and show her that you love and appreciate her. Don’t make the mistake of going overboard though and being super nice, to the point where she sees you as being desperate. Just be more loving, appreciative and warm with her.
- If you’ve been unmotivated about your future, set yourself some big goals and start making progress towards achieving them. You don’t have achieve everything or anything. Just start making progress. Let her see that you are now a more driven, ambitious man and are actually starting to make progress in the direction of your biggest dreams, goals and ambitions.
When she can see that you’re now the kind of man she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to, she will naturally begin doubting her overall feelings for the other guy.
This can result in her thinking something like, “I never realized what an amazing guy he really is. Yes, he made some mistakes, but lately I see that he is everything I really want in a man. I thought I couldn’t love him like this, but I do. I just want to be with him.”
She then opens up to you with a warm, excited, loving heart and just wants to explore her new feelings with you.
As long as you know how to maintain and build on her attraction, she will be yours for life.
Yet, I’m not done with helping you yet.
Here’s another way to change how she feels about you and him…
3. Stop trying to discuss her feelings
You can’t discuss a woman into loving you more than another guy, so don’t do it.
Of course, many guys don’t realize that.
So, if a guy’s woman says that she loves him, but loves someone else more, he will naturally want to discuss it with her to find out why.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Asking a woman about her feelings when she says she loves you but loves someone else more, is putting her in a difficult position.
To begin with, she might not know why she loves the other guy more.
She just knows that she feels more respect, excitement and attraction when she’s with him compared to you.
She can’t put her finger on it, or explain it in words.
It’s just a feeling to her.
Additionally, when you ask a woman if she still feels attracted to you or loves you, she will feel turned off if she senses that you’re feeling insecure or rejected.
This is why you should always believe in yourself no matter what a woman says or does, because at least then, you are displaying the type of confidence that women naturally find attractive in men (i.e. what I call Independent Confidence. This is where you feel confident no matter what people say or do around you).
Another part of this is that a woman doesn’t want to explain why she feels the way she does about the other guy, in case you start behaving more like him to hopefully make her want you.
If you do that, she may see your behavior as fake, forced or manipulative, which will then turn her off and cause her to put her guard up with you.
Essentially, she just wants you to understand how to attract her, without having to ask her all about it, so she can see that the changes in you are genuine, real and something that you are naturally doing because you are growing into your masculinity as a man.
This isn’t something you should tell her though.
Don’t tell her something like, “I’m really trying to change. It’s a journey for me and I will become the kind of man you want. Just give me a chance and I will show you.”
A woman doesn’t want to hear that.
She just wants you to do it and not say anything about it because she doesn’t want you desperately changing for her.
A woman wants to see you naturally developing as a man, without having to discuss it all with her.
If you can do that, she will automatically feel drawn to you and attracted to you in new and exciting ways.
She can then begin to think things like, “Wow…I really thought I was more in love with someone else, but now I’m not so sure anymore. Maybe I made a mistake because I now know that I love him. I don’t want to lose him.”
She then opens herself up to you and wants to explore her newfound feelings of love for you and the other guy gets pushed into the background, or in some cases, completely dumped and left behind.
This is why you shouldn’t try to discuss her feelings in the hope of discussing your way into a committed relationship with her.
It won’t work.
Instead, you need to every interaction that you have with her from now on, to make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you, so she can then naturally feel like she is more in love with you than him.
Another way to change how she feels about you and him is to…
4. Don’t see the other guy as being better than you in any way
One of the fastest ways to make a woman lose respect and attraction for you is to see the other guy as being more attractive or valuable than you.
By doubting your value and attractiveness, you literally push her into his arms because he seems like the more confident one, which is what women want.
So, never, ever doubt yourself.
Always see yourself as being better than other guys, no matter what.
It’s not something that you need to say out aloud, because if you do, people will put you down and call you arrogant.
Instead, it’s something you should feel.
When you feel that way about yourself, you naturally think, talk, behave and act in the way that women find most attractive (i.e. you have Independent Confidence).
You have an air about that essentially says, “I know you want me, but I don’t need to make it obvious because it’s already obvious. You love me.”
You may have seen guys who have the type of air about them and noticed how the prettiest, sexiest women gravitate towards him like a magnet.
It’s not something that women will openly admit or talk about, but just pay attention and you will see that guys who have that type of confidence are chick magnets.
So, if you make the mistake of seeing the other guy as being better than you (e.g. because he has bigger muscles than you, has more money, is more successful than you, is taller, has cooler friends, lives in a better neighborhood), then it will naturally start to show in your conversation, vibe, actions and behavior.
She will sense it and it will turn her off to the core.
As a result, you’ll simply end up pushing her into the other guy’s arms and causing her to love him more than you.
The reality is that women are turned off when a guy feels inferior to other guys in terms of attractiveness.
Women don’t want guys going around saying, “I’m the best. Women love me” but they want a guy to feel like that about himself.
So, don’t make the mistake of sitting around thinking about the other guy as being better than you.
Being insecure like that is not going to help you re-attract her and make her fall more in love with you.
You’ve got to be confident and know that you are better than him, regardless of what good qualities he has in comparison to you, or how positively she speaks of him.
You’ve got to realize that you are a great man in your own right, regardless of what the other guy is like.
No, you’re not perfect, but neither is he.
When you accept and believe that you are more than good enough to be her man, then the idea of her currently loving him more won’t bother you anymore.
You will realize that you can easily make her choose you over him based on who you are as a man from now on (e.g. confident, emotionally strong, emotionally masculine, determined, loving and attentive).
So, don’t worry about him, because he is nothing compared to you and who you will become in the following days and weeks ahead.
You will win.
She will be yours and he will be history.
Another way to change how she feels about you and him, is to…
5. Don’t give her the impression that you are in a competition for her love with the other guy
To display the right type of confidence that will attract her and make her love you moe, you need to behave as though you have already won.
That’s how champions behave and it’s how you should always behave with women.
Don’t try to win women over.
Believe that you have already won a woman over and then act in accordance with that belief (i.e. talk to her in a confident way, flirt with her, move things forward without fearing rejection).
When you believe that you have already won a woman over, you will naturally exude the type of confidence that women find irresistibly attractive.
Of course, women don’t go around telling men that secret because they don’t want guys acting arrogant.
Yet, the guys who have that type of confidence are always the most attractive to women, as long as the guy doesn’t go around saying that he thinks all women like him.
Instead, he just has that confidence in himself and as a result, women are irresistibly attracted to him.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t know about this secret of attraction.
So, when a woman tells her ex guy that she loves him, but loves someone else more, he might feel like he has to compete for her love and hopefully try to beat the other guy.
He won’t automatically think that he is better because he’s not thinking like a champion.
He doesn’t know that remaining confident in himself no matter what, will automatically make her feel respect and attraction for him.
As a result, he might:
- Send her a series of texts expressing his love for her and telling her how important she is to him.
- Tell her that no guy will ever love her as much as he does.
- Send her flowers, gifts or cards as a way of expressing his love for her and making her feel that he’s more loving and attentive compared to the other guy.
- Make himself available to her 24/7 and runs errands for her to appear more indispensable than the other guy.
- Her her out financially (e.g. by paying her bills, giving her money for rent, buying things for her that she can’t afford), to make her see him as being a better provider than the other guy.
Here’s the thing though…
Rather than making a woman feel as though he is the right man for her, it just gives her power over her ex that she doesn’t really want.
Yet, since he is putting her in the position of power, a woman will sometimes take it on and begin playing him against the other guy, to get what she wants out of both of them (e.g. bills paid by her ex, sex and good times with the new guy, or compliments and expressions of undying love from her ex and exciting love with the new guy who makes her feel the need to impress him too).
If her ex keeps being nice, ‘being there for her,’ doing things for her and holding onto her even though she isn’t being faithful to him, she will naturally begin to lose respect for him.
She will see his behavior as being desperate and wonder if he’s just holding on because he has no clue how to attract new quality women to replace her with.
She might then think things like, “I never realized it before, but my ex is an emotionally wimpy and needy guy. I see now that he’s not man enough for me at this point in his life. He doesn’t know what women really. I know who I love now and I can move on with him, without worrying whether I’m making a mistake by not choosing my ex.”
She may then decide to cut things off completely with her ex by saying something like, “I’m sorry, but even though I do love you, I love him more and I have to follow my heart. I think it will be better for all of us if you and I don’t talk or see each other anymore. Please don’t try to get in touch with me again, because I won’t answer anymore. It’s for the best. Take care. Goodbye.”
Her ex is then left feeling rejected once again and may end up losing a lot of confidence in himself as a result.
He could have caused her to doubt her love for the new guy if he used an attractive approach, but he didn’t.
Maybe he thought that it would be rude or arrogant to believe in himself.
Maybe he thought that she would take pity on him.
Maybe he thought that she was the one in the power position and there was nothing he could do about it.
And so on.
Here’s the thing…
In a relationship, if you hand your power over to a woman, she just won’t be able to respect you anymore.
If a woman can’t respect you, then she will struggle to feel sexually attracted to you and without those two things in place, she won’t feel like she is in love with you.
If the other guy is making her feel respect and attraction for him, then she will naturally find it easier to be in love with him compared to you and as a result, will say something like, “I love you, but I love him more. I’m sorry.”
So, don’t make the mistake of telling your ex or giving her the impression that you believe you need to fight for her love and hopefully beat the other guy.
Assume that you are already the winner and then, allow the confidence that comes from that to influence how you think, talk, feel, behave and act from now on.
If you do, she will naturally feel more respect and attraction for you, which will cause her to feel more love you.
If she starts feeling more love for you, communicates that to the other guy and he then becomes insecure in any way, then you will suddenly seem like the more attractive and appealing one to her.
5 Mistakes to Avoid Making if You Want to Her to Love You More Than Him
Just because she is currently saying that she loves him more, it doesn’t mean you can’t change that and get her back into a committed relationship with you.
However, you have to approach the ex back process correctly from no won.
To do that, make sure that you avoid making the following mistakes…
1. Asking her how much she loves him
When a guy is losing his woman to another man that she also loves, he might then ask her how much she loves the other man compared to him.
It seems like a legitimate question, but it’s just not something you should ask a woman because it makes you seem insecure about the other guy, which automatically makes him seem more attractive than you.
Additionally, by asking a question like that, it can cause a guy to begin behaving in unattractive ways.
For example: He might suddenly find that he can’t stop himself from being clingy or needy (e.g. he bombards her with texts or social media messages to stay on her mind, he keeps coming up with excuses to call her or even see her, he asks her loads of questions about the new guy, he seeks pity from her by letting her see how sad, lost and dejected he now feels).
As a result, she will feel turned off by his behavior, which will naturally make her feel more attracted and in love with the other guy.
What you always need to remember is that insecurity, clinginess and neediness are not qualities that women find attractive in men.
Some women accept it and put up with it for a while, but they’re not attracted to it.
Women are always attracted to confidence, emotional independence and emotional strength in men.
So, if you want her to see you as a better option than the other guy, show her by the way you now talk, act, think, behave and interact with her that you really are the better man.
Of course, don’t give her the impression that you’re trying hard to compete.
Instead, just know that you are the better man and allow that to naturally influence the way you now talk, act, think, behave and interact with her.
When she experiences the new, more attractive version of you for herself, she will automatically begin feeling drawn to you in new and interesting ways.
Suddenly, the other guy won’t seem as interesting and exciting as he used to be and she will feel compelled to see you and hook up with you to assess how she feels afterwards.
2. Asking her why she finds him more attractive, or why she loves him more
Although a guy’s intentions might be good (e.g. he’s honestly looking for ways to improve himself, so he can be more attractive to her), a woman is unlikely to view his questions in a positive light.
Instead, she will almost certainly assume that he’s secretly jealous and feeling inferior compared to the other guy.
As a result, she will lose more respect and attraction for him.
This will automatically cause her to feel more drawn to the other man than she previously was.
So, don’t put yourself in that situation.
Just relax, maintain your confidence and know that you are a better man than him.
Then, use that confidence to interact with her in a way that makes her feel increasing attracted to you.
When you do that, she will naturally reconnect with her romantic love for you and want to be with you.
3. Showing her how sad and dejected you feel now
It’s totally understandable that a guy might feel unhappy, sad and dejected when he finds out that his woman loves some other guy more than him.
It’s understandable, but it’s not something he should ever show to her.
What a woman wants to see is that a man is able to remain confident and believe in himself no matter what she says or does.
That is irresistibly attractive to women, but it’s not something they will go around saying because they don’t want guys overdoing it and acting arrogant.
So, what women do is that they just gravitate towards the most confident guy they can find.
This is why you shouldn’t show her that you’re crushed by what she is saying and have been losing a lot of confidence lately.
Showing her your emotional pain will not help you at all.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
4. Trying to get her to make a decision between you and the other guy
Even though you might be tempted to say something along the lines of, “You need to make up your mind. It’s him or me. Who do you choose?” don’t do it.
If you put her in an uncomfortable position like that, she might simply decide to pick him over you because currently, she loves him more than you.
If she chooses him and you then react badly, she might decide to cut off contact with you, which will make it difficult for you to be able to re-attract her and get her back.
This is why, the best approach is for you to use interactions with her to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, flirting with her to create sexual tension, showing her that you’re at a different level as a man than you were before), rather than trying to discuss her back into a relationship.
When she feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, she will feel more love for you.
As a result, she will begin to realize that she actually loves you more than ever before, which will be confusing for her.
Additionally, since you’re not trying to push her into a relationship, she doesn’t have her guard up and isn’t trying to push you away.
So, all she is left with is feeling drawn to you and wanting to see you, which is what she want to do.
Then, when you have sex again, she will experience it at a whole new level because of how much love she feels for you now.
5. Making her feel like she is more valuable than you
Don’t give your ex the impression that you would feel so lucky and honored if she chose you over the other guy.
She doesn’t want that kind of power over you.
Women aren’t attracted to guys who hand over their power, especially when another guy is in the picture.
So, if you want her to be yours and only yours, you need to start looking at yourself as being more than good enough for her.
You are her number one option, but she just doesn’t realize it yet.
She will realize it in the next few days when you interact with her and attract her in new and exciting ways.
Until then, make sure that you believe in yourself no matter what.
Believe that you are the right man for her and the other guy she currently loves, just doesn’t compare to you at all.
That’s how you need to think about yourself.
Believe it and then, based on that belief, you will naturally exude the type of confidence that women simply cannot resist.
She will suddenly realize that her feelings for you are back and the other guy isn’t as appealing to her as she once thought.