If a woman moves on quickly after a break up, it doesn’t always mean that her ex meant nothing to her.
Look at it this way…
Imagine that you dumped a woman and then immediately hooked up with a new woman and got into a relationship with her.
Would that mean that your ex woman meant nothing to you?
Not necessarily, right?
Instead, it can simply mean that you are the kind of guy who can easily attract a new woman and so you did just that to help make yourself feel better after the break up.
It doesn’t mean that your ex means nothing to you.
You might still love your ex and have a place for her in your heart, but you broke up with her for whatever reason you did.
In the same way, just because your ex has dumped you and moved on quickly, it doesn’t mean that you never meant nothing to her or can’t get her back.
If you want to get her back, you still can.
Regardless of her new guy being in the picture now, you need to interact with her (e.g. by calling her on the phone and getting her to meet up with you in person), so you can actively make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.
If you don’t do that, then you are out of sight, out of mind.
She can focus on her new guy, get used to not having feelings for you and keep moving on without you.
However, when you reawaken her feelings, everything begins to change…in your favor.
Experiencing respect and sexual attraction for the new you plants a seed of doubt in her mind and she begins to wonder, “Is my new guy really the right guy for me? I thought he was. Yet, why am I missing my ex all of a sudden? I didn’t know my ex could have that effect on me. I’m confused. Why do I want him back? Is it a sign that we’re meant to be together or something? Why can’t I get him out of my mind?”
That’s what you want her thinking and feeling.
When she does, her guard comes down and she starts to reconnect with her original feelings of love for you.
You can then guide her through the rest of the ex back process and she will be yours once again.
5 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want Her Back
Every day, all over the world, men get their woman back from another guy.
It can be done.
You can do it.
However, if you try to get her back while making one or more of the following mistakes, it will become a little more difficult for you…
1. Sitting around feeling rejected, rather than being emotionally strong and doing what it takes to actually get a woman back
If your ex moved on quickly, it’s quite natural for you to be feeling a bit sad and rejected about it.
It’s also understandable that you may think to yourself, “How could she do that to me? It was like I meant nothing to her.”
However, when you’re feeling sad and depressed and focusing on the negatives, getting her back can seem very difficult or even impossible to you.
You find yourself trapped in a cycle of despair where you’re thinking things like, “I still love her. I have never stopped loving her. Did she feel the same way about me though? Was the relationship even real? Did she actually love me? Will anyone woman ever love me? Am I doomed to be like this for my entire life?”
You have to stop that kind of thinking.
If you interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call or in person) and she gets a sense that you’re emotionally weak and lost without her, it’s going to turn her off.
Rather than saying to herself, “Wow! His love for me is so deep, while I’ve been a shallow person for moving on so quickly. I don’t know how I could have done that to him. How selfish of me! I should break up with my new guy and go back to my ex right now to stop his pain,” she will simply feel turned off by what she perceives as your emotional dependence on her.
The fact is: Although feeling sad and rejected is a normal reaction to seeing your ex move on so quickly after a break up, it’s not going to help you get her back at all.
If you want another chance with your ex, you need to change your thinking and actions to break free of the negativity and despair you’re currently stuck in.
You need to become emotionally strong, hopeful and optimistic about getting her back, which will allow you to project confidence and emotional strength when you interact with her.
As a result, she will feel some respect and attraction for the new you and it will plant a seed in her mind that will grow minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.
Before she knows it, she will realize that all she has really been doing is thinking about you and missing you lately, so it must be a sign that she is meant to get back with you.
That’s what works to get an ex woman back.
So, from this moment onwards, you must use every interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to show her (via the way you talk, think, act, behave and respond to what she says and does) that you’re now the man she always dreamed you’d be.
You can do that by…
- Making her smile and laugh when you interact with her.
- Showing her (not telling her) that you’ve learned from your past mistakes and are a better man as a result. (She will pick up on it herself as she interacts with you).
- Giving her the attraction experience she always secretly wanted from you but never told you about (e.g. to be more emotionally independent and not cling to her so much, to stand up to her more and not let her get away with bad behavior or tantrums, to be more emotionally masculine rather than being womanly like her).
When you present her with a new, improved version of you that she never thought was possible, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
She might try to resist what she is feeling because she has already moved on, but her heart will be telling her to give you another chance.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Seeking pity from her by telling her how shocked and depressed you feel about how she moved on so quickly
Sometimes, a guy might feel so shocked that his ex has moved on quickly that he may say to her, “How can you do this to me? I never imagined you could be so cold and heartless. It’s like I meant nothing to you. At least I know that what I felt for you was real. Yes, I stuffed up, but I gave you my all. I didn’t ever pretend to have feelings for you one day and then hook up with a new woman the minute you turned your back. I hope you’re satisfied though, because if revenge was what you were after, you sure got it. Congratulations! You can now feel proud of yourself for showing me how little I meant to you. I’ve been so depressed since the break up. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep properly. You’ve ruined me. You are a cold, heartless woman who has just shown me that I meant nothing to you.”
By saying something like that to her he’s likely hoping to make her feel pity for him and guilt for her actions.
He’s hoping that she might feel guilty and say something like, “No. That’s not true. I still love you. I don’t know what I was thinking by leaving you. You love me so much, so it’s clear that we are meant to be together. I should never have moved on so quickly. I’m so sorry! Can you ever forgive me? Will you take me back?”
Of course, it doesn’t work that way though because women aren’t attracted to pity seeking from men, especially ex men.
Essentially, a woman doesn’t want to be responsible for a man’s confidence, happiness, sense of worthiness and overall emotional wellbeing.
She wants to know that even though life has thrown him a curve ball, he’s emotionally strong enough to cope and even to thrive from the experience.
So, if he shows her that he’s falling apart after what she did, it’s a clear signal to her that he’s the sort of man who needs her to take care of him emotionally.
It’s just not the role that a woman wants to take on in her romantic relationship with a man.
She wants a man who remains confident and emotionally strong, with or without her support or reassurance.
Here’s the thing…
You will have a lot more success in getting your ex back when you start displaying some of the qualities and personality traits that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, self-belief, emotional masculinity, emotional independence), rather than by trying to make her feel sorry for you.
So, if you’ve adopted a “Poor me” attitude, now is the time to throw that away and focus on re-sparking your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for the confident, emotionally strong version of you.
When you approach getting her back from a position of strength, rather than weakness, she feels drawn to you again because it’s attractive to her.
On the other hand, if you try to get some pity from her, she will become even more stubborn and might say something like, “Get over it! I’ve moved on and you need to deal with it and leave me alone. It’s over! Leave me alone.”
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Thinking that your only hope to get her back is to wait for the rebound relationship to end and then slowly try to get her to open up to you again
Another common mistake that guys make when their ex moves on, is to step back and wait (months or years) for her to become available again.
For example: A guy might say to himself, “Well there’s nothing I can do right now. She’s moved on and whether I meant something to her or not doesn’t seem to matter anymore. The best option I have is to wait for her to dump her new guy and then try and get her back after that. I love her so much that I’m willing to wait as long as it takes.”
He may then sit around waiting for months and in some cases, YEARS, to get the news that his ex has finally broken up with her new guy.
When that happens, he might call her up and say, “Hey, how are you? How about we catch up and say hi.”
Yet, by that stage a woman will often just say, “What are you talking about? I’ve been over you for months/years. Whatever we had together is long dead. Maybe if you tried to get me back in the beginning I would have been open to it, but now it’s too late. I’m sorry. I can’t believe you’re still waiting around to get me back. Move on!”
So, if you don’t want that kind of thing to happen to you, make sure that you don’t give up on getting her back today.
You can get her back if you are focused on triggering her feelings of romantic and sexual attraction for you again.
If you do that, it messes with her new relationship and interrupts her ability to fully move on without you.
She feels drawn back to you because you have reawakened her feelings for you and are making her feel attracted in new, interesting ways as well.
This is why it’s so important that you stay in touch with her, rather than just sitting around and waiting for her to hopefully break up with the new guy in future.
So many men make that mistake and are then shocked to find that she quickly or instantly moves on with another guy after breaking up with her boyfriend.
In other words, she does the exact same thing again.
Women like her tend to follow a pattern.
She will break up with a guy when she has another guy waiting and ready to take his place.
That way, she doesn’t have to feel hurt and lonely after breaking up with her ex and can move on much more easily.
So, don’t make the mistake of just waiting around and hoping that she will be open and available for you in a few months or years time.
If you want her back, I recommend that you do it now.
Get the other guy out of the way and get her back.
Did You Make Her Your “Everything” in Life?
When in a relationship with a woman he really loves, a guy will often make the mistake of making her his “everything.”
In other words, he will spend most or all of his spare time with her, not see his friends anymore, give up hobbies and stop pursuing his dreams.
He wants to show her that she is the most important thing to him in life.
Yet, women don’t like that.
When a woman notices that a guy has made her his “everything,” she will instinctively stop being as affection, start becoming demanding and throw tantrums if he doesn’t do whatever she wants.
If he fails her tests and does whatever she wants because he’s afraid of losing her, she will gain more and more power over him, which will turn her off.
She will then be less in love with him and he will get the sense that he is losing her.
As a result, he will gradually become clingy and needy, which will make her feel like she needs to get away from him and the relationship.
Did that or something similar happen between you and her?
Don’t worry; most guys make that mistake with a woman at least once in their lifetime.
A guy will often assume that a woman will feel flattered by the fact that she means more to him than anything else in his life (even more than his biggest dreams, ambitions and goals).
Yet, although a woman might initially enjoy how devoted her guy is to her, she will gradually become turned off if she realizes that without her love, he’s just an insecure, needy, clingy guy who is hiding from his true potential as a man behind her and the relationship.
She will then lose respect for him and stop feeling attracted to him.
Without a solid foundation of respect and attraction for love grow upon, a woman just won’t see the point of staying with him anymore and will prepare to break up with him.
She will either start flirting with new guys to get a replacement ready to go, or break up with her guy and start flirting and opening herself to opportunities with new guys she meets.
If she meets a guy who is emotionally stronger and more emotionally masculine, she will feel naturally attracted to and drawn to him and will find it easy to hook up with him and move on because he will be making her feel a much more wholesome attraction compared to her ex.
Additionally, rather than feel like she’s moving on too quickly, she actually just feels relieved to get away from her ex and get into a relationship where she can feel respect and attraction for a guy again.
Don’t worry though – you can still get her back if you made that mistake.
If you became needy and clingy in your relationship with your ex, one of he first steps you need to take to get her respect and attraction back is to show her that you’re not that guy anymore.
How do you do that?
You show her via your behavior, your conversation style, your attitude and the way you respond to what she says and does.
You focus on becoming emotionally independent and beginning to live a happy, fulfilled and successful life with, or without her.
Then, when you interact with her, you can show her that you’ve moved to a different level from the one you were at when she broke up with you.
For example: In the past, if your ex told you about how happy she is with her new man, the old you might have become upset and possibly said things like, “I can’t believe you moved on so quickly! It was like I meant nothing to you” and hoped she would feel pity or guilt.
However, the new you just laughs and says something along the lines of, “I’m glad that you’re happier without me. I realize now that I was just making you miserable with all my silly neediness and clinginess. Of course, I’m not that guy anymore. It was a big wake up call for me. I sometimes laugh when I look back and think about how I acted.”
How does that change how she feels?
It makes her feel respect and attraction for you for being man enough to admit your mistakes and then having the courage to make some changes to your way of thinking and behavior.
When you allow her to see, hear, feel and notice that you are happy without her, but also have the emotional maturity to genuinely feel happy for her too (even though she moved on so quickly), she will realize that you are a rare catch of a man.
She will stop thinking so negatively about the old you and she will start feeling drawn to the new you.
You will have planted a seed of doubt in her mind about her new relationship.
From there, all you need to do is continue making her feel sparks of respect and attraction for you every time you interact with her and her walls will come tumbling down.
Remember: Just because your ex moved on so quickly, it doesn’t mean that the love is dead between you and her and there’s absolutely no chance of ever getting her back.
When you make her reconnect with her love for you (e.g. by showing her that you’re the kind of man she can now look up to, feel proud of, respect, feel attracted to and love), she will begin to regret moving on so quickly.
From there, all it takes is the courage to guide her back into your arms and into your life again.
You have that courage, right?
If so, go and get her back!
If not, keep learning and I will keep building your confidence until you are ready to get her back.