Every day, all over the world, couples do get back together after a break up.
Even in extreme cases, where the man thinks that it’s too late, he is often able to get his woman back by re-attracting her and getting her to forgive his past mistakes.
It’s so common, but hardly anyone talks about it and it’s most-likely kept between the couples themselves.
Yet, it does happen.
Here are 4 common examples of how a relationship will break up and then how the man will get his woman back:
1. A woman breaks up with a guy because he has become too insecure
The relationship ended because the guy gradually lost confidence in himself and in his value to his woman over time.
Although he presented an attractive version of himself initially to get her interested and begin the relationship (e.g. he was confident, self-assured, emotionally strong), somewhere along the line, he began to change into a less attractive version of himself (e.g. insecure, self-doubting, emotionally sensitive).
As a result of his decreasing confidence, he began to realize that it would be difficult for him to attract another woman now.
He could see how nervous and insecure he felt around other women he found attractive and how they seemed to be turned off by him.
Noticing that, he naturally began to become insecure about losing his girlfriend.
For example: He began thinking things like, “She is my everything. What if I lose her? How will I cope without her?” or, “What if she meets another guy who is better than me? Will she dump me for him?”
He then began to focus all his energy on her and make her the centre of his world (e.g. by significantly reducing the amount of time he spent with friends or on his hobbies and other interests, just so he could be around her at all times).
As a result, he became clingy and would react in an insecure way if she wasn’t making him feel loved and reassured.
He also felt unhappy and betrayed when she decided to go out with her friends or colleagues, or wanted to do things without him (e.g. focus on her own hobbies or interests).
He got jealous of any other guys in her life (e.g. male friends, coworkers, friends on social media).
This led to him constantly asking her things like, “You still love me, don’t you?” or, “You do know that you mean everything to me and that I wouldn’t be able to survive if you ever decided to break up with me, right?” or, “You would never cheat on me, would you?”
Initially, she tried to reassure him by saying something along the lines of, “Of course I still love you! How can you even think I would do anything to hurt you? You’re my guy and I only want to be with you, so relax and stop worrying so much.”
However, over time, his clingy, needy, insecure behavior began to drive a wedge between them and erode her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for him.
Eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore and the thing he feared the most became a reality – she broke up with him.
Fortunately though, the shock of being dumped was exactly what he needed to shake him up and set him on the path to becoming a better man.
So, although he felt devastated at first, he didn’t make the classic mistake that guys make and wallow in negative feelings of loss and despair and end up losing her for real.
Instead, he stopped focusing all his energy on how much he needed her in his life to feel good about himself and he got to the point where he wanted her back, but could live a happy and fulfilled life without her.
He became a more emotionally secure, emotionally mature and emotionally masculine man, which then automatically made him attractive to her and to other women as well.
He then got her on a phone call with him and sparked some of her feelings of respect and attraction by making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to him again and then getting her to agree to meet up with him in person.
At the meet up, he continued to build up her feelings of respect and attraction for him by showing her via his attitude, conversation style, behavior and the way he reacted to her confidence tests (e.g. she talked about guys that are interested in having sex with her and dating her, flirting with the waiters/barmen), that he’d become a more confident and self-assured man.
He also let her see that even though he was missing her, he wasn’t sitting around feeling sorry for himself.
Instead, he was getting on with his life and doing all the things that are important to him (e.g. pursuing his goals, hanging out with his friends, enjoying his hobbies).
When she got a sense that he was no longer the insecure, needy guy she broke up with, her feelings of respect and attraction began to resurface.
He suddenly seemed more attractive to her than he has ever before, because he had grown up as a man and she felt herself drawn to the new, confident, emotionally strong man that he had become.
She then dropped her guard and decided to be his girl again, because it felt right.
Another example of a couple who broke up and got back together is…
2. A woman breaks up with a guy because he doesn’t make her feel appreciated
In this example, the guy made the mistake of turning his woman off by making her feel unloved and unappreciated.
However, like most men, he wasn’t a bad guy who went out of his way to make his woman feel that way.
In fact, in the beginning of their relationship he was very loving, devoted and caring towards her.
He was always helpful and pulled his weight when things needed to be done (e.g. help clean up after dinner, run errands, take out the garbage or put gas in the car for her).
He was also very attentive and often noticed her efforts to look good for him, all the things she did for him (e.g. bring him coffee in bed in the morning, cook special meals for him, clean up after him) and how good she was to him.
Yet, over time, he became neglectful and stopped noticing and commenting on all the nice things she did for him.
He fell into the habit of assuming that it was okay for her to serve him and do everything for him (e.g. all the chores and errands) because she loved him.
He also stopped noticing and complimenting her on her efforts to look attractive for him (e.g. when she bought a new dress, changed her hairstyle).
Initially, she tried to make excuses to herself for his behavior by thinking things like, “He’s not that bad. I know that he loves me. I guess he’s just absentminded. He probably doesn’t even realize that he’s taking me for granted.”
However, over time, she began to feel unappreciated and unloved and unhappy in the relationship with him.
Her feelings of resentment built up and rather than want to contribute to the relationship and be a loving, devoted woman to him, she began to feel like pulling away, being closed off and treating him with less and less respect and devotion
Eventually, she totally disconnected from her feelings for him and then decided to break up with him.
Naturally, he was stunned by her decision and kept wondering things like, “Why did this happen? What did I do wrong?” because from his perspective he thought everything was okay.
Yet, it wasn’t.
Fortunately though, he was prepared to take an honest look at himself and all his past behaviors and actions, so that he could find her real reasons for breaking up with him.
When he did that, he realized that even though he believed that he was a good man to his woman, the truth was that he had taken her for granted and made her feel unloved and unappreciated.
This realization shocked him into quickly changing.
He then called her on the phone to apologize to her (in a confident, emotionally strong way), by saying something along the lines of, “Hey, I just want to say how sorry I am for what happened. I realize now what a jerk I was to you and how I took you for granted. You were a kind, loving, amazing woman to me and I didn’t show you the appreciation you deserved. Instead, I thought that because you loved me, it was okay to be selfish and not pull my weight in the relationship with you. I made a mistake, but I’m not perfect and neither is anyone else. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes in a relationship and as long as the person who stuffed up can learn from those mistakes and become a better person as a result, it doesn’t have to be the end. Of course, I don’t expect you to take me back because I’m saying that to you. However, maybe we can put it behind us and try to be friends now.”
From there, he used humor to ease the tension between them and make her laugh, smile and feel happy to be talking to him again and asked her to meet up for a quick cup of coffee to say hello as friends.
At the meet up, she was able to see via his attitude, behavior and the way he interacted with her that he truly had changed and was now a different man
Not only was he being a good, loving man to her, he was maintaining his confidence as well, rather than sucking up to her all the time.
This made her feel strong surges of respect and attraction for him again.
She then decided to interact with him over the phone and in person some more, to see if he would revert back to his old behavior or not.
After a week, she realized that he truly had changed and was a better man now and would never make the same mistake again.
She fully forgave him and they got back together again.
Another example of a couple who broke up and got back together is…
3. A woman breaks up with a guy because she’s tired of all the arguing and fighting
In example No. 3, the couple broke up because they were always arguing about everything, to the point where they both felt like they were in a war zone, rather than in a relationship.
Once again, the relationship didn’t start out badly and in fact, they were very much in love with each other in the beginning.
Yet, over time, little disagreements became huge fights where each person felt unheard and misunderstood.
This led to her thinking things like, “All we ever do these days is blame each other and argue. Nothing seems like fun anymore and instead of being in love, I feel stressed out and tense all the time. I don’t know why I’m still putting up with this. I’m tired of trying to make things work,” until eventually she gave up and left him.
Once she was gone, the guy realized that he had allowed unimportant things to get in the way of the respect, attraction and love they felt for each other.
For example: He got angry when she complained about a problem she was experiencing (e.g. at work, with one of her friends) and when he gave her a solution she ignored him.
Basically, he expected her to solve her problems more like a man instead of allowing her to express herself like a woman and just listen and offer support, which is what she wanted.
So, to get her back, he interacted with her over the phone and in person and showed her that he had learned from his past mistakes.
When she tested him, by complaining about something that would have caused him to want to take over and fix it for her in the past, he remained calm and relaxed and just let her vent her frustrations without interfering.
She then started to believe that things really were different, so she was able to forgive him and open back up.
They then got back together and discovered that their relationship was even better this time around.
Another example of a couple who broke up and got back together is…
4. A woman breaks up with a guy because he lacks purpose and direction in life
This time, the example is about a young couple who met at university and began dating.
At first, the woman was attracted to the guy because it seemed like he had big plans for his life.
However, as time went by, she began to notice that he had no intention of getting out of his comfort zone and actually doing something productive with his life.
Instead, he was comfortable just drifting from one basic job to another and not really planning ahead well enough for the future.
As a result, she didn’t feel safe and protected in the relationship with him and she began thinking things like, “When is he going to grow up and focus on doing something with his life? I can’t carry on worrying about what will happen to us in the future, or if we’re even going to have enough money to cover our expenses at the end of the month. All my friends are in relationships with men who are making progress in their lives. I’m the only one who always seems to be making excuses about why my guy isn’t moving forward or has any goals or ambitions in his life.”
Initially, she tried to motivate him to do better by suggesting he get a more stable job and by setting some goals for himself and work towards achieving them.
However, he just laughed at her and said things like, “Stop worrying so much. The future will take care of itself. Just relax and enjoy yourself.”
Eventually, she stopped trying to change him and decided to break up with him and find herself another man who was more driven and goal oriented than him.
Of course the shock of losing her forced him to look at himself and what he had been doing with his life and he didn’t like what he saw.
He realized she was right about him drifting through life without a purpose or direction, so he decided to change that right away.
So, he focused on quickly becoming a more emotionally mature man by getting a better job and also setting goals for his future and working towards achieving them.
He then concentrated on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for him by using every interaction that he had with her (especially on the phone and in person), to show her that he had changed and was now more focused, driven and ambitious than before.
Initially, she was a bit nervous about giving him another chance, because she didn’t fully believe he had changed, but when she saw for herself that he had already begun to accomplish some of his goals, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling drawn to him again.
She then began to worry that she might be losing a great man.
So, when he invited her to meet up with him as friends she agreed.
At the meet up, he continued to build on her feelings of attraction for him and showing her that he has truly transformed himself into a new, more ambitious, forward moving man.
As a result, she couldn’t resist him anymore.
They kissed, hooked up sexually and got back together again.
3 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Get Back Together With Your Ex Faster
As you may have realized by now, getting your ex back is actually easier than you might think.
When you give her the attraction experience she really wants, her defenses naturally come down and she becomes open to being your girl again.
However, if you continue to turn her off, getting her back becomes a lot more difficult.
So, if you want to get your ex back quickly, avoid making the following mistakes:
1. Asking for another chance before re-attracting her
The fundamental rule to getting an ex back is: Attraction first and everything else after that.
Unfortunately, some guys aren’t aware of that fact and make the mistake of asking for a relationship before they’ve fully reawakened their ex’s feelings.
The guy is then left feeling hurt and bewildered when she says, “No.”
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, you need to make sure that you reactivate her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you first.
It’s all about her feelings for you, rather than the other way around.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Trying to get her to want the relationship by discussing all the good times and positive qualities of the relationship
When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, being reminded how good things used to be between them and how happy they once were, will usually only highlight to her how bad things turned out in the end.
So, if you want to make your ex give you another chance, you have to actively make her have feelings for you based on who you are now.
Don’t bother wasting time rehashing all the good times from the past.
How you make her feel right now and from now on is what really counts.
So, focus on that and get her back.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Handing over all power and control to her
Sometimes a guy thinks that if he lets his ex call all the shots, she will perceive him as being a good guy who only cares about her feelings and will eventually give him another chance with her.
Yet, it doesn’t work out that way.
In most cases, a woman wants to be with a man who is more emotionally masculine than her and who can take the lead in the ex back process, thus allowing her to relax into thinking, talking and behaving like a feminine woman around him.
If a woman gets the sense that her ex is too submissive and wimpy and afraid to assert his will with her, she isn’t going to feel motivated to get back with him.
So, if you want to get your ex back, the first step you need to take is to stop allowing her to call the shots when it comes to getting her back.
Instead, you need to take the lead in the ex back process, reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and make her want you, even more than you want her.