5 possible reasons why she said it was too late when you asked her for another chance:
1. You used an unattractive approach (e.g. begging, pleading) when trying to get her back
When a guy gets dumped by the woman he loves, he will often feel a desperate need to get her back right away.
As a result, he may make the mistake of begging and pleading with her for another chance.
For example: A guy might start sending his ex endless walls of text, or long e-mails, saying things like, “I’m so sorry for what happened. Please forgive me. I just can’t bear the thought of you being gone from my life forever. Just give me one more chance and I promise that this time things will be different. Please don’t throw our love away. You are so special to me and I love you more than anything. The times we shared were so previous to me. I will do anything to make it up to you and prove to you that things really can be different this time around.”
Alternatively, he may call her up on the phone and say, “I’m so sad. I can’t take this anymore. Being without you is the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life. What do I have to do to make you give me another chance? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg, because I will? I will do anything for you. Just tell me what you want me to do to make you change your mind.”
Sounds like something from a romantic movie, right?
So, it should work in real life then, right?
Soppy, hopeless, desperate male characters in movies get the girl that way because that’s how the script was written and how the actors have to act.
In the real world, women respond much differently to desperate pleas from a guy they’ve broken up with.
Women aren’t flattered or amazed by it, even if the guy has good intentions with her.
When he’s begging and pleading for another chance, rather than looking at him and thinking, “Wow, he must really love me if he’s willing to do anything to get me back. I am so lucky!” she will think something like, “The more he begs and pleads, the more he ruins any feelings I might still have had for him. Doesn’t he realize that women aren’t attracted to desperation in men?”
For a woman, one of the most important parts of being in a relationship with a man is knowing that she can look up to him, respect him and feel attracted to him at all times.
She can’t do that if he falls to pieces and starts begging, pleading or losing control of his emotions when challenged by her or by life.
So, when a guy is begging, pleading and acting like he’s hopeless without her, it doesn’t cause feelings of trust and security in her.
Instead, she starts to feel more emotionally dominant than him, which turns her off.
It also makes her feel like she needs to be gentle, understanding and take care of him now, which just isn’t what a woman wants from a relationship with a man.
A woman wants a man to be emotionally strong no matter what life throws at him.
She doesn’t want to be with a guy who needs her to make things easy for him because he’s so emotionally weak or sensitive.
Of course, there are some women out there who love it when a guy begs and pleads as a way of getting her back (usually insecure women who need an emotionally weak man to feel better about themselves), but most women feel turned off by it.
So, if your ex is saying that it’s too late to get her back when you ask her for another chance, it might be because you begged or pleaded with her, or that you used some other unattractive way to get her back (e.g. sending her long letters explaining your feelings, bombarding her with emotional texts).
Don’t worry if you made that kind of mistake though.
You can recover from it and make her feel respect, attraction and love for you again.
So, even though she’s saying that it’s too late right now, when you change your approach and re-spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she will naturally begin to change her mind.
She will stop focusing on how badly you messed up and start focusing on how good she feels whenever she interacts with you now.
As a result, she will start to feel drawn to you again and the idea of losing you will feel painful to her.
So, don’t beat yourself up about what happened in the past (e.g. you begged and pleaded, you tried to get her back via text messages or letters, you annoyed her by trying to have long, deep and meaningful discussions to get the relationship back together).
All that is in the past.
What you do from now on is what matters the most.
As long as you focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new you whenever you interact with her from now on (e.g. by being confident and emotionally strong even when she is being cold and unfriendly towards you, making her laugh when things seem tense), it won’t be long before she stops thinking, “It’s too late,” and starts thinking, “Maybe we have a chance after all.”
Another reason why she might have said that it was to late is…
2. She didn’t think you could instantly change and give her the kind of attraction experience she secretly wants
When in a relationship, most women want to feel the following:
- Loved, appreciated and taken care of.
- Feminine and girly in contrast to her man’s masculinity (e.g. he’s so emotionally strong, while she is emotionally sensitive).
- Proud that she can look up to and respect her man.
- Sexually attracted based on how confident he is.
- Safe that her man is guiding both him and her to a better life in the future.
- Proud that her man has a big purpose and goal that he is striving to achieve that is outside of his relationship with her.
- Happy they both want the same things in life and are going in the same direction.
So, if a woman gets a sense that many of those things are missing from her relationship with a guy, she will gradually start to question her reasons for sticking around.
This is what usually causes a couple to go from being all loving and intimate in the beginning of a relationship, to arguing and feeling angry with each other once the initial thrill begins to wears off.
Essentially, all the things a woman was willing to overlook because of her feelings of new love and lust, suddenly become glaring problems that she’s not willing to ignore any longer.
She then starts to change and be less loving, caring and affectionate.
At that point, a guy might feel confused and wonder, “What happened? Why is she always so moody these days? I don’t get it. What’s wrong with her?”
What he doesn’t realize is that certain behaviors are starting to cause her to lose respect and attraction for him (e.g. he’s too insecure now, he is wasting time hanging out with her all the time rather than following through on big goals, he is too controlling of her, he has become too emotionally sensitive).
If he understands where he has been going wrong and makes changes, she will automatically begin to change and go back to being a loving, caring, supportive and affectionate woman.
On the other hand, if he just continues repeating the same mistakes over and over again, she will lose too much respect and attraction for him to want to stick around anymore.
At that point, she will break up with him and try to move on because she doesn’t believe that he is capable of changing.
If he tries to ask her for another chance, she will say something like, “It’s too late. We had our time and it didn’t work out. I’m over it now. You need to let me move on.”
A guy will then feel confused at how she could so easily leave him and just want to move on without him, when he really is sorry and really wants to do better.
Yet, being sorry and wanting to do better is not enough.
A woman needs to feel as though her ex really has changed already and doesn’t need her to be patient with him anymore.
She can interact with him and feel the difference in how he makes her feel now.
So, when a guy gets broken up with, it’s essential that he immediately begins the process of fixing his issues and improving himself.
For example: If he had become too insecure in the relationship, he needs to immediately begin understanding how confidence works and how to be confident at all times.
She will need to sense that he remains confident and in control of his emotions, no matter how difficult she is behaving or how cold or rude she is being when he tries to talk to her.
If she talks to him and he conveys insecurity and self doubt, she will know that he hasn’t changed and getting back into a relationship would mean pretty much more of the same old, same old.
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, don’t say to her that you will change when you get back together again.
You need to already have changed the things that are important to her, before she will consider giving your relationship another shot.
If you try to get her back before changing what is important to her, she will likely just think, “He hasn’t changed anything about himself and he doesn’t even know what to change. I don’t believe he can be the man I want him to be and give me the attraction experience I really want. Giving him another chance will just be a waste of my time.”
As a result, she will insist that it’s too late for you and her and you just need to move on without her.
Another reason why she might have said that it was to late is because…
3. She’s already interested in a new guy who is giving her the attraction experience she wants
In some cases, a woman might say that it’s too late to give her ex another chance if she’s already found herself a replacement guy, but doesn’t want to admit it yet.
For example: Some of her reasons for not admitting it to her ex might be:
- She’s afraid that he might get angry with her and possibly even become violent.
- She’s worried that he might get into an argument, or even a physical fight with her new guy.
- She wants to keep her ex around for a little while longer, until she’s fully over him and in love with the new guy.
- She doesn’t want to deal with him becoming overly emotional and potentially even crying to her about it.
- She doesn’t want to explain to him why she’s more attracted to the new guy than she is to him.
So, rather than create unnecessary drama for herself, she simply prefers to let him down easy by telling him that it’s just too late for them to get back together.
Where a lot of guys go wrong at that point, is thinking that the only possible solution now is to give her 30, 60, or more days of space so that she can come to her senses and miss him.
Yet, giving a woman months of space in a situation like that usually only allows her to get over her ex and move on happily with her new guy.
So, don’t make the mistake of getting out of her life and hoping that she will come back, even though she’s no longer attracted to you or in love with you anymore.
Watch this video to understand why…
By the way…
If your ex has found herself a new guy, it doesn’t mean you can’t get her back.
It simply means the new guy is potentially giving her the kind of attraction experience she always wanted from you.
It doesn’t mean that he’s perfect or better than you though.
He’s just filling in the gaps that were missing in your relationship with her (e.g. If you were insecure, he’s confident. If you didn’t get along with her friends and family, he does. If you were a loner, he’s got a big social circle of friends that love him).
With that much of a difference, it might seem like there’s no hope for a guy in that situation, right?
Over the years, I’ve continually seen men re-attract their ex woman from a guy who she seemed so happy with initially.
The new guy wasn’t perfect and in most cases, he wasn’t really a good match for her overall.
For example: If your ex has a new guy, then it’s highly like that he lacks a lot of your attractive traits (e.g. He’s childish and immature, whereas you are driven and responsible. He’s nice to her in public, but treats her mean in private, whereas you always gave her the respect that she deserved. He is arrogant and selfish, whereas you are confident and kind).
If that’s the case, it’s only a matter of time before she realizes that he isn’t so good for her after all.
However, don’t wait a long time for that to happen.
You don’t need to wait on the sidelines and hide away from her until she dumps him.
If you do that, you could be waiting for 6 months or a year or more and by that time, you will probably lost a lot of confidence in yourself.
Additionally, she might leave him and get right into a new relationship with another guy.
So, don’t put yourself in that unfortunate, depressing position where you’re just waiting for her to come back, even though she’s no longer attracted to you.
If your ex has a new guy, you need to understand the things that attracted her to him in the first place and then quickly add those traits to what you can offer her.
For example: If he is more confident than you, then get help to quickly level up your confidence.
If he is more emotionally masculine that you, then get help to become more ballsy and emotionally tough.
Then, interact with her and let her experience that.
If you do, you will interrupt the process of her moving on and she won’t be able to stop thinking about seeing you again.
All of sudden, she will begin to wonder things like, “Why am I feeling more attracted to my ex than I am to my new guy? I’m not sure if I made the right choice. Maybe I need to just see my ex again and give him a chance. I don’t like the idea of losing him now. I still want him.”
Another reason why she might have said that it was to late is because…
4. She has given you plenty of chances before and nothing has ever really changed
What a lot of guys don’t realize is that every time he interacts with his ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) after the break up (e.g. via text, social media, on a phone call and especially face-to-face) she is essentially giving him another chance.
Just by responding to him, picking up the phone, or agreeing to meet up with him, she’s basically saying (without using words), “Okay, let’s see if you’ve changed, or if you’re still the same guy that I broke up with.”
If a guy understands this, he will use every opportunity he has with her to reawaken her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him by showing her that he really is a different man now (e.g. by being confident, even when she is being cold and distant and making her smile, laugh and feel good to be interacting with him again).
On the other hand, if a guy doesn’t realize that every interaction is his chance to get her back, he will waste the opportunity by making some of the following mistakes.
Mistake 1: Explaining his deep feelings for her via e-mail, letter, social media message or text
Why doesn’t this work?
When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, she stops caring about how he feels or what he wants.
It doesn’t matter if he explains how much she means to him, what he loves about her, what he cherishes about their time together and what he hopes for their future.
He is now a guy that she doesn’t have feelings for, so she just doesn’t need to care.
If she cares, then she will be getting back into a relationship with a guy who has no idea how to make her feel the way she really wants to feel.
So, rather than giving him another chance, she just thinks something like, “You may still love me, but I don’t feel the same way about you anymore. I’ve already given you plenty of chances and you blew every single one. Now it’s just too late.”
Another mistake guys make is…
Mistake 2: Trying to get her back via text, rather than letting her experience the new and improved version of him on a phone call or in person
Why this doesn’t text work to get an ex back?
A text message is simply a bunch of words on a screen.
It doesn’t truly convey a man’s confidence or emotional strength.
He can act that way via text, but it doesn’t mean that he’d be the same way in person.
…and she knows that.
So, rather than giving him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s changed and become a better man, a woman will usually just think the worst of him.
She will assume that he’s just acting confident, cool and collected, when in fact, he’s insecure, nervous and emotional.
When she imagines that, she will feel turned off and close up even further.
If he continues to text her, she will imagine the insecure version of him plotting and planning to win her back via text.
In most cases, a woman will just roll her eyes at the texts and think, “Nice try, but no thanks. It’s too late.”
So, what should he do instead?
Get her on a phone call and let her experience the changes in him (e.g. via the tonality of his voice, his conversation style, the way he responds to her).
Once she is feeling some attraction and being more relaxed and open to the conversation, he needs to get her to meet up with her in person.
At the meet up, he can then fully reactivate her feelings for him and get her back.
That’s how it’s done.
So, if your ex is currently saying that it’s too late, it may be because she’s feels that she given you enough chances already and you haven’t yet given her any real evidence (on a phone call or in person) that you can now make her feel differently.
You may have tried to reason with her or explain your point of view, but that isn’t what she needs.
Reasoning and explaining doesn’t make a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on by her ex.
Displaying traits and behaviors that naturally attract women and that are very important to your ex (e.g. Does she want you to be more ballsy when talking to her? Does she want to feel feminine in comparison to your masculine energy, tone of voice and behavior?).
You have to focus on making her have sexual feelings and when you do, she will naturally begin to have romantic feelings for you too.
So, from now on, just remember that every interaction you have with her is actually another mini chance to get her back.
If you get her on a phone call with you and you make her laugh, you’re one step closer to getting her back.
On the other hand, if you get her on a phone call and turn her off (e.g. because you’re too nervous and insecure, are trying to get into a discussion about the relationship), it will be another mini chance that you’ve just lost.
Finally, another reason why she might have said that it’s too late for you and her is that…
5. She’s already had enough time to get over you and now wants to move on
If she has moved on already, this might be because you used the No Contact Rule (i.e. cut off all communication with her for 30 to 60 days), in the hopes that she would miss you and want you back.
Unfortunately, ignoring a woman who has disconnected from her feelings, usually only gives her the time she needs to fully get over the break up and move on.
She doesn’t really care anymore and as a result, she opens herself up to new guys and actively tries to move on without her ex.
Regardless of your ex’s reasons for saying that it’s too late for you and her to get back together again, something you may not realize is that it’s never too late to get an ex back.
When you re-spark your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you again, everything changes.
She can’t hold on to her old ideas about it being too late for you and her, because she no longer feels turned off by you.
Essentially, the guy that she said, “It’s too late” to isn’t who you are now.
You have changed.
The old you doesn’t exist anymore.
The new you is making her feel respect, attraction and love.
That’s who she is thinking about and missing when you interact with her and reactivate her feelings.
Guys all over the world are able to easily get their ex woman back that way.
So, stop worrying about the fact that said it was too late.
Just make her fall in love with the new you every time you interact with her from now on.
Soon enough, she will be back in your arms again and will have forgotten all about what she said to you before.