Is Valentine’s Day one of those days of the year when you feel sad to still be alone, while everyone else is enjoying sex, love and intimacy in relationships?
Do you hate it when people ask you, “What are you doing on Valentine’s Day?” or “Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?”
Do you wish you could stay home alone and avoid seeing anyone for that day?
If you are asking, “Why am I always alone on Valentine’s Day?” here are 5 possible reasons why this is happening, and what you can do change it right away.
1. You Miss Out on Opportunities to Be With Women Who Would Like to Be Your Girlfriend
Women are a lot easier to pick up than most guys realize.
Over the past few years, you have definitely met some women who liked you and would have been happy to be your girlfriend, but your self-doubt got in the way and you didn’t make a move and get her phone number, kiss her or ask her out on a date.
She then either thought that you didn’t like her, or that you didn’t believe that you were good enough for her, so she moved on without you.
If you want to be successful with women, you have to start by believing that you are good enough.
Believe it or not, there are thousands of beautiful, single women out there who are hoping to meet a guy exactly like you.
As you would already know, you can find single, beautiful women at your workplace, at your college or university, at the gym, at the supermarket, in bars and clubs, at the park or the beach, at the mall, online on dating sites, etc.
Yet, why aren’t you hooking up with any of them?
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why am I always alone on Valentine’s Day?” you probably don’t believe that attractive women would want to be with you at all.
You might even be going around believing things like, “All the good women are already taken,” or “The kind of women I want would never be interested in a guy like me.”
This may be because you’ve failed when you have hit on women in the past, or you may have been told, “You’re really nice, but I only like you as a friend,” one time too many by women you really liked.
Whatever your past with women is, right now you probably don’t have much confidence in your ability to attract the type of woman you really want as your girlfriend, or even just a woman for sex and a date on Valentine’s Day.
Yet, here’s the catch. The more you doubt yourself and your ability to attract women, the more that your lonely, single life becomes an ongoing, painful reality.
When a guy lacks confidence in himself and in his ability to attract women and happens to interact with a woman he really likes, everything about him screams, “I don’t believe in myself! I don’t think I’m good enough for you! Why would a beautiful woman like you ever be interested in a guy like me? I have no chance with you and I know it!”
His self-doubt and lack of self-confidence naturally turns women off as they begin to talk to him, because women are attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt).
The women feel turned off by his emotional weakness, he notices them losing interest in talking to him…and the negative cycle continues.
Here’s the thing though…
The truth is that a lot of the women he meets would actually be happy to be his girlfriend, but because of his self-doubt, the interaction heads into an unattractive, uncomfortable place and women then lose interest in being around him.
Women are looking for real confidence in guys because women are instinctively wired to find a man who can handle the challenges of life, rather than an emotionally weak or sensitive guy who will crumble under pressure.
A woman wants to know that if she does hook up with a guy and settle down with him, she won’t have to carry him throughout life.
She wants a guy with real confidence who will go after what he wants in life and not give up, so she can relax into being his woman or the mother of his children without having to stress about trying to boost up his confidence, keep him motivated and encourage him to keep moving forward in life.
As long as a guy has some level of real confidence, most women will be interested enough to talk to him.
However, if a guy puts on an act of being confident, most women will see right though it and lose interest.
For example: An insecure guy might approach a woman with confidence and attempt to strike up a conversation with her, but if she gives him the cold shoulder or makes it difficult to talk to her (e.g. she gives 1-2 word answers, stops paying attention when he talks), he will ultimately reveal his lack of self confidence by the way he behaves around her (e.g. he will become nervous, stumble over his words during conversation, appear uncomfortable and then walk away from her feeling rejected).
What most guys don’t realize is that all women test men to see how confident they really are; and this happens whether they’re meeting for the first time, on a date together and even when they are in a relationship.
During the first interaction, testing a man’s confidence allows a woman to determine whether a man is emotionally strong enough to handle a woman like her.
It is also a good way for her to see who is the more dominant one. If she can push the guy around or control him, she may decide he’s not man enough for her.
Yet, here’s the interesting thing…
If that same guy was able to remain confident and pass her confidence tests, it would be him who was having sex and a relationship with her.
That is the weird, but really cool way that a woman’s attraction for a man works.
As long as you can have a fair amount of real confidence and pass the confidence tests that women put you through, you will be able to attract the majority of women.
Of course, some women are much more testy than others and if you want the hot, confident women, you will have to have a high level of real confidence when you meet her, go on a date with her and get into a relationship with her.
However, the majority of women are much less picky than they initially act.
Women put on an act of not liking a guy during an interaction as a way of testing his confidence.
If you can just remain confident and continue on making her feel attracted to you by displaying some of traits and behaviors that women feel naturally drawn to (e.g. confidence, being charismatic and charming, using humor, having a masculine vibe and making her feel girly in your presence), you will be able to get laid or get a girlfriend pretty much every time you go out to approach and meet women.
It’s actually funny how easy it is.
When you know how to attract women properly, you will realize that the majority of men in this world have absolutely no idea how a woman’s attraction for a man really works.
…and that gives you a huge advantage.
When you meet a woman and are able to attract her in ways that other guys are clueless about, she becomes excited to have finally met a guy who understands what women really want in a man.
So the next time you notice a beautiful woman you feel attracted to, rather than fall into the old pattern of thinking where you doubt yourself and then you just don’t do anything, take the opportunity to talk to her and actively practice making her feel attracted to you.
How? Display some of the personality traits and behaviors that women find naturally attractive (e.g. confidence, charisma, charm, humor) and she will naturally like you and open up to you.
Of course, she will almost certainly test you at some points during the interaction to see if you are really a confident guy, but as long as you remain confident, she will continue to open up to you and you can then lead the interaction to kissing, sex and into a relationship.
2. You Haven’t Yet Worked Out How to Attract Women During a Conversation
One of the major reasons why so many fail to get laid, get a girlfriend or at least have a Valentines girl on Valentine’s Day is because they simply don’t know what to say to a woman when they approach her.
For most guys, the idea of approaching an attractive woman fills them with fear and dread, which is why so many guys choose to avoid women rather than be faced with the uncomfortable situation of having to think of something to say or the dreaded awkward silence that follows when he runs out of things to say.
When a guy wonders, “Why am I always alone on Valentine’s Day?” it often comes down to the fact that he just doesn’t actively approach and attract the kinds of women he likes.
He might talk to some women at work or university who already have a boyfriend or husband or who aren’t even his type, but when he talks to single women that he finds attractive, he suddenly gets tongue-tied and loses confidence in himself.
So, rather than having to face up to a potentially uncomfortable interaction, he dulls his sexual desire every week by jerking off to porn and feels as though he’s probably doomed to be single for life or will have to accept an unattractive women at some point rather than being alone.
Here’s the thing though…
Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t always mean that a guy hasn’t been trying to approach women and get himself a girlfriend.
Some guys approach women all the time, but still don’t get any positive results with the women they really want.
These guys don’t even know how to properly attract a woman during an interaction and either hope to be liked for showing the woman how nice of a guy they are or they make the conversation boring by talking about work, the weather and other dull topics of conversation.
Watch this video to understand where many guys go wrong when talking to women and how you can succeed where they fail…
When talking to a woman, your main goal has to be on triggering her feelings of sexual attraction for you rather than trying to get her to like you as a person.
If she is not feeling attracted to you, she will either lose interest and leave the interaction, or she will simply see you as a friend who she has no sexual or romantic interest in at all.
To get a woman to want to have sex with you and want to be in a relationship, you have to make her feel attraction for you first.
Don’t waste time trying to impress her with your job or study credentials or suck up to her by being an extra polite nice guy.
Be a good guy, but also make sure that you make her feel sexually attracted and turned on when she talks to you.
That is what counts these days.
It’s no longer 1905 where a woman had to find herself a nice man with a good job, so she could then get married, lose her virginity and settle down for life.
In today’s world, women want a guy who has the ability to make them feel turned on and if he also happens to be a good guy with a good job (or is smart at university) that is simply a bonus, but not an absolute necessity for sex and a relationship to begin.
So, if you want to succeed with women and avoid being alone on Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year, make sure that you understand how to attract a woman during a simple conversation.
Guys who struggle to get laid or get a girlfriend usually make some of these mistakes during conversation:
- They stick to safe, boring conversations.
For a man and a woman to properly connect during conversation and create a spark of romance and attraction, the conversation should feel fun as well as being interesting.
A woman doesn’t want to feel like she’s being interviewed for a job (e.g. What do you do? Where do you live? What are your hobbies? How old are you? What movies do you like?).
Instead, she just wants to be able to relax, have an easy-going chat with you that includes smiling, laughing and joking around at times.
If a guy can’t offer her that, she will assume that being in a relationship with him would feel boring as well.
- They try too hard to impress her.
What most guys don’t realize is that what women really want is to meet a guy they have to work hard to impress; not the other way around.
When a woman is beautiful or at least fairly pretty, almost every guy she meets will suddenly change his behavior and try hard to impress her (e.g. he will become really nice and polite or he will act extremely confident, loud and brash).
When a guy puts on a fake persona, a woman instantly knows that he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for her as he is, so he tries to put on an act of being someone he’s not and hopes that it impresses her.
Yet, women have seen it all before. It’s nothing new to them.
What a woman really wants is a guy who has real confidence and isn’t afraid to be his real self, especially when she is testing him by playing hard to get.
So, if you want to stop saying things like, “Why can’t I get a girlfriend?” or “Valentine’s Day sucks because I’m always alone” you should stop trying to impress women with an act and just focus on making her feel sexually attracted to your authentic confident, charismatic personality.
When you can offer a woman that kind of experience during an interaction, things will naturally develop from a conversation to kissing, sex and even a relationship.
3. You Really Want a Girlfriend, But You Usually Avoid Approaching Women That You Find Attractive
This might sound really obvious, but if you want sex or a relationship with the kinds of women you really want, you have to first take the first step of approaching them.
Many guys feel sad about their single, lonely life and say things like, “I want a girlfriend, but the women I like aren’t into me” or “I just want to find a nice girl who is right for me, but they are all taken.”
Yet, when it comes down to it, these same guys avoid approaching the women that they find attractive because deep down they don’t believe they stand a chance.
So rather than feeling disappointed if she rejects them, they make excuses (e.g. women are too picky these days, I’m not good looking enough, I have to get a better job first, I have to move to a nicer apartment or house, etc) and waste years of their life jerking off to porn and feeling lonely and left out.
I’ve been helping guys to succeed with women for the last 10 years and I’ve found that most guys who avoid attractive women will say things like, “Beautiful women only date guys who are tall, rich and handsome,” or “Beautiful women don’t like guys who are short, overweight, skinny or earning an average income.”
However, if this was really true, most of the guys in the world would be single and lonely, and only the very good looking, rich guys would have beautiful girlfriends or wives.
Yet, the fact is that there are hundreds of millions of below average looking, short, skinny, overweight or bald guys with a beautiful girlfriend or wife.
It is true. Just have a look at the world around you.
What is even more interesting is that there are also millions of good looking men who are single and can’t get themselves a girlfriend because they don’t know what to say to women and lack the confidence that women look for in a guy.
Of course, many insecure, nervous good looking guys can still get a girlfriend or get laid, but it’s almost never with the types of women they really want.
In the 100s of e-mails that I’ve received from good looking guys over the years, almost all of them complain about not being able to attract the kinds of women they want and having to accept the unattractive women who hit on them.
Why does this happen?
A woman’s attraction for a man is not the same as a man’s attraction for a woman.
Most guys are attracted to women based on how physically attractive they look, (i.e. if a woman is physically attractive, a guy will be willing to have sex with her even if he doesn’t like her personality, or even if he thinks she’s not interesting or funny).
On the other hand, women feel attracted to men for many other reasons that are not based on looks.
Yes, women do feel attracted to a man’s physical appearance, but the most powerful types of attraction a guy can make a woman feel are based on how he turns her on emotionally and mentally when he’s interacting with her.
For example: If a guy can make a woman feel girly in his presence, can make her laugh and can spark her feelings of attraction with his confidence and masculine vibe, she will perceive him as being attractive to her because of the way he’s making her feel.
Even if he’s not good looking and even if he doesn’t have the other things that guys think all women demand (e.g. money or status), she will still feel attracted to him in other ways (e.g. to his confidence, charisma, charm, humor).
It’s very important for you to realize that you can make women feel attracted to you in many different ways other than looks, money or social status.
Yes, looks, money and social status can attract women, but the truth is that you don’t need to have that to get laid, get a girlfriend or have a Valentine’s girl on Valentine’s Day.
When you understand that it really is possible to attract women in other ways, you will stop making excuses about why you avoid approaching women you find attractive (e.g. “I’m not good looking enough. Attractive women don’t go for guys like me. Beautiful women are out of my league”) and start focusing on attracting women in other ways.
4. You’ve Gotten Used to Being the Lonely, Single Guy Who Gets Left Out
When a guy is feeling depressed, lonely and dejected about his dating life, he will often say things like, “I’ve tried to meet women, but all the good ones are taken,” or “I’ve approached beautiful women, but they only date guys who are good looking, have big muscles or drive fancy cars. I don’t have those things, so why bother trying to talk to women at all?”
By thinking like that, he is creating the illusion that all good women are taken and any single attractive women left wouldn’t like a guy like him anyway.
He looks at himself with pity and feels as though it’s his destiny in life to be doomed with women and miss out on love, sex and a relationship with an amazing woman who is perfect for him.
However, that isn’t his real identity. It’s just a fake reality that he is creating by thinking in a negative way.
If you’ve allowed yourself to fall into a similar pattern of negative thinking, I urge you to stop right now.
No guy is destined to be alone and single unless he wants to be.
There are millions of attractive women looking for a guy like you right now.
That is true, even if you might not be ready to believe it right now because you want to hold onto a sad, negative identity as the lonely, single guy who sucks with women.
You are better than that.
You really are.
5. You Try to Get Women to Like You As a Person, Rather Than Making Them Feel Attracted to You
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman and there’s nothing wrong with being a good guy, but trying to get a woman to like you as a person isn’t what sparks her feelings of sexual attraction for you.
For example: A mistake a lot of guys make is believing that if they are really nice to a woman, do everything she wants and generally let her make all the decisions and have her way, she’s going to think, “Wow! What a sweet guy. I want him to be my boyfriend! I will be treated so well!”
Yet, that just isn’t how it works.
A woman liking you as a person is not the same as her feeling sexual desire for you and wanting to be with you romantically.
What a lot of guys don’t understand is that most of the guys an attractive woman meets are good guys.
There really is no shortage of nice guys in this world.
However, what most attractive women struggle to find is a good guy who also knows how to spark her feelings of sexual attraction during a conversation.
So, if you want a woman to want to have sex with you or be your girlfriend, you have to focus on more than just being a good person around her.
You need to focus on saying and doing the things that turn women on (e.g. displaying real confidence, making her feel girly and feminine in contrast to your masculine vibe, making her laugh).
Remember: When it comes to picking up women, sexual attraction comes first and then everything else happens naturally and easily after that.
The more ways you can attract women with your personality and behavior during an interaction, the more that they will feel attracted to you and want to be with you.
You then enjoy your choice of women rather than settling for what you can get, or for being alone on Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year.
By making some adjustments to how you interact with women (i.e. focus on making them feel sexually attracted to you, rather than trying to get them to like you as a person), Valentine’s Day will be just another happy day that you enjoy your choice of beautiful women or enjoy a loving, committed relationship with the woman of your choosing.
Attracting women is easy, but you have to be willing to actually try some attraction techniques when interacting with women.
Don’t expect to get different results with women if you keep saying and doing the same old things during conversations and interactions.