As you may have noticed, men and women behave very differently when it comes to dating, sex and relationships.

Women often behave so differently that some men become frustrated and assume that women are playing silly mind games, wasting time and being unnecessarily difficult.

Yet, as you will discover from this post, there are very specific and valid reasons why women behave in the ways they do when it comes to sex, dating and relationships.

Sexual Selection

Men checking out women

While most men are willing to have sex with a woman simply based on her appearance, most women need to be warmed up to the idea of having sex with a guy by interacting with him and seeing how his personality makes her feel.

For example: Most men will look at a woman and instantly have a “Yes” or “No” answer about whether or not they’d have sex with her, whereas most women (not all) will say, “Well, I’d have to meet him first to see if I like him.”

Men checking out women

Sexual selection happens in that way because men feel mostly attracted to a woman’s physical appearance, whereas most women feel more attracted to how a guy’s personality, behavior and inner qualities make her feel (e.g. his confidence, charisma, charm, masculine vibe).

Important: It is true that women are more interested in a man’s looks when it comes to online dating, but in face-to-face interactions, most women place less importance on looks than they do a guy’s personality, behavior and inner qualities.

This very simple difference in how men and women feel attracted to each other leads to all kinds of differences in male and female behavior, which often leads men feeling confused and wondering, “Why do women play mind games with men?” and “Why can’t dating be more simple and straight forward?”

As you will discover in the following examples, there are valid reasons why a woman will test a man (some guys refer to these tests as “mind games”) before an interaction escalates to kissing, sex and a relationship.

1. When you approach a woman to talk to her for the first time

When you approach her for the first time

Life would be so much easier if all women were completely open, friendly and keen to chat to any man who approached them.

It would be even easier if a woman then simply accepted any guy who was interested in her, so they could then start a relationship and no longer be single.

Yet, that’s not how it works and there are specific reasons why.

When a man approaches a woman, some of the “mind games” that he will encounter involve the woman:

  • Acting cold or uninterested initially.
  • Giving him short, “Yes” or “No” or “I don’t know” answers to his questions.
  • Not contributing much to the conversation.
  • Teasing him during a conversation.
  • Rolling her eyes at things that he says to her.
  • Making it difficult for him to talk to her.

So, why do women often act that way towards men who approach them? Is it because women are mean, cold bitches who want to play unnecessary mind games with men, or could there be a valid reason why?

Thankfully, there is a valid reason why and once you understand it and accept it, your life with women will be so much easier from now on.

In almost all cases, the reason why a woman will play hard to get during a conversation is simple: To test the guy’s confidence.

Women have a natural instinct to find themselves a guy who has the emotional strength to handle the challenges of interacting with all different kinds of people.

This has been necessary throughout human history because a man has always needed to be able to get along with other people and get them to respect him and treat him well, otherwise he will find it more difficult to survive, thrive and prosper in an oftentimes unfair world.

If a man is picked on and easily pushed around by her or other people during a conversation, a woman won’t feel safe hooking up with him because her instincts tell her that he will most-likely be more of a burden than a benefit to her in the long run.

Even though we now live in a modern, civilized society where a woman can make her own money, buy her own food, buy her own home and be protected by the police, media and government, she still has a natural instinct to align herself with a guy who is mentally and emotionally tough enough to handle challenging people and situations in life.

Men who don’t understand this will feel angry and frustrated at women for playing mind games and making the dating process so difficult. A guy will complain and say, “Why are women so damn difficult? Can’t they see that I’m a nice guy and have good intentions?”

Yet, what these guys don’t realize is that it’s actually simple and easy to pass the confidence tests that women put guys through. All you’ve got to do is relax, maintain confidence in yourself and smile at or ignore any tests she tries to put you through.

When you approach her for the first time

When you do that, you will discover that the majority of women are much easier to pick up than most guys realize.

As long as you are able to pass the initial confidence tests, most women will drop their guard and show you an easy-going, friendly side of themselves that they don’t show to other guys who lack confidence around them.

All that a woman really wants to see is that you don’t crumble under her pressure and are able to remain relaxed and confident as you continue the interaction, while even smiling or laughing at some (not all) of her tests because you find it amusing.

Some women are more challenging than others, but the majority of women are extremely easy to pick up once you’ve past their initial confidence tests.

2. When you call her and try to set up a date

Another mind game is how a woman can go from being really keen on you to cold in between you getting her number and then calling her for the first time.

For example: Sometimes a man will meet a woman, make her feel attracted and get along really well with her for 10 minutes to 2 hours and then get her number. She will look happy to give him the number and he will walk off feeling fantastic.

Based on the great interaction, he will naturally expect that things will now smoothly progress from a phone call to a date, to sex and into a relationship.

Yet, it won’t always work out like that.

Sometimes a woman will answer the first phone call, be happy to hear from him and readily agree to a date. He will then be able to catch up her, have a great date, kiss her and begin a sexual relationship.

However, some women put guys through tests when they first call by saying, “No” to the request for a date. She will say that she is busy on the day he is suggesting or busy for the entire week.

Why would a woman do that if she actually likes the guy?

Well, apart from genuinely being busy in her life (e.g. with work, study, friends, family, exercise, projects, hobbies, etc), she might also initially say “No” to a date for one of the following reasons:

  1. She is insecure about her attractiveness: Am I good enough for this guy? Is he sincerely attracted to me, or does he only want to see me so he can sleep with me and then dump me later on?
  2. She wants to be in the position of power in this relationship because her last boyfriend dumped her and broke her heart: I’m going to get back at men by controlling this guy, making him love me and then dumping him to break his heart. Hopefully then I will feel better about myself and regain my self-esteem.
  3. She wants to test his interest level: Is this guy after casual sex, a serious relationship or marriage? How certain is he that I am the one for him? Will he persist and continue to court me if I play hard to get?
  4. She wants to test his confidence: Will he lose confidence in himself just because I can’t make it to a date this week? Is that all it will take to break him and make him think that he is unworthy of me?

As you can see from the examples above, there are many reasons why a woman might initially say no to a date, play hard to get or act like she is very busy.

Sometimes she will be a nutcase (e.g. trying to get revenge on men for getting dumped and being left with a broken heart), but in most cases she will be testing a guy for less crazy reasons.

For example: If a woman is attractive and she wants a confident guy who she can eventually marry, she doesn’t want to start dating a guy who crumbles at the first sign of resistance.

She wants a man that she will feel safe to be with in the long run, because she knows that he believes in himself and will go after what he wants until he gets it, even if he has to climb over a few little obstacles to get there.

A woman treating a man like that might seem like stupid mind games or “too much work” for some guys, but it’s simply a case of a woman needing to test a man’s confidence to see if he is the sort of man she should invest her lifetime with.

When a confident guy asks a woman out on a date and she says that she is busy, he will continue to believe in himself and just suggest another time or say that he will call her another time to see if they can arrange a time to catch up.

For example: He will laugh and say, “Oh okay, it sounds like you’re a busy girl this week. Well, let’s try to arrange a time to catch up early next week. How are you looking for Tuesday or Wednesday?” and she will then usually agree to a different time.

If she says that she’s not sure about her schedule for the next week, he might laugh and say, “Well, make our catch up a part of your schedule” and if she doesn’t, he will simply laugh and say, “Okay, I might get in touch next week and say hi” and may also jokingly add in, “Hopefully you can fit an awesome guy like me into your hectic schedule next week.”

In cases like that, a woman will usually text the confident guy to say hi that night, the next day or sometime during the week.

That is her way of essentially saying, “Hey – I’m still interested. Keep pursuing me” and the guy simply needs to text a bit and then call her up, have a laugh together and arrange a time to meet.

She will be thankful that he didn’t lose confidence, he didn’t get angry or defensive about her not being able to meet up immediately and he simply continued the courtship in a confident, loving way.

After all, she could actually be busy or she could already have a lover and have made plans with him that week, she could be busy at work with her studies or have plans with friends and family.

Just because a woman meets a guy that she likes, it doesn’t always mean that she wants to drop everything in her life and get into a relationship with him immediately.

Prior to him kissing her or having sex with her, he is simply another guy that she met and she will forget about him if they didn’t have a very strong connection.

To some guys, this kind of behavior from women is seen as silly mind games and a waste of time.

Yet, it’s simply a case of women trying to navigate their way through the dating scene and find the right guy for them without wasting time on the 100s of random guys who want to sleep with her.

Attractive woman with dating options

If a woman is attractive, pretty much every guy would be willing to bang her at least once and many of those guys would also be interested in a relationship.

That’s all very well and good for us guys because we get laid, but women don’t see it in the same light.

If a woman let every guy who wanted to bang her have access to her, she would simply lay around in a bed all day having sex with guys who were lining up outside her door.

If a woman is attractive, she needs to be selective about which guys she allows into her life because after all, she is searching for real love just as much as other people are.

It might seem like she is being a flaky, mean bitch who loves messing with guys, but she’s simply trying to find a guy with the emotional intelligence and emotional strength to handle a woman like her.

When she finds that guy, she stops dating and she happily gets into a relationship.

However, since those guys are hard to find, a woman will no doubt come across many guys who think she is a bitch for playing mind games or rejecting them.

You can be the guy that the majority of women wish they could meet, but you have to be willing to accept the differences between men and women rather than fighting against them or getting angry or annoyed about it.

When you understand why women behave in the ways they do, it actually becomes quite amusing because you can see through everything that a woman does.

Rather than losing confidence and doubting yourself like the majority of guys, you are one of the rare confident guys who smiles and just continues on towards kissing, sex and a relationship.

3. When you’re about to have sex

Mind games before sex

Imagine this…

You’re in bed with a beautiful woman who feels attracted to you. You’re kissing and fondling each other (e.g. you might have slid a couple of fingers in and she might have been giving you a hand job).

Both of you are clearly feeling turned on and aroused.

At that point, the next logical step is to start having sex, but a woman will often test a guy at this point, which some guys will see as a woman playing silly games and being immature or annoying.

For example: Right before having sex, a woman might say, “We’re not having sex y’know” or “This doesn’t mean that we’re having sex” or “Don’t think that you’re going to get laid now.”

If you’ve read the other examples in this post, you would hopefully know by now that a woman doing that is simply a way of either testing your confidence or making you feel like she is an innocent woman that doesn’t normally have sex this easily.

What you need to understand is that women feel more attracted and turned on when they experience a man’s confidence, so in that moment she is instinctively doing a last minute test to see if she should be having sex with you (i.e. Have you been faking your confidence up to this point? Do you really feel like you deserve her?).

Rather than seeing her comments as annoying, childish behavior that doesn’t make any sense, just look at it as a beautiful opportunity to deepen her attraction and desire for you in that moment.

In moments like that, a confident guy will either just smile and keep kissing her and escalating to sex, or he will smile and stop kissing her to just lay there together on the bed and relax.

He knows that she is attracted to him, otherwise she wouldn’t be kissing him and engaging in foreplay, so he relaxes and lets her do her test.

Moments or minutes later, the kissing and touching will naturally begin again and in almost all cases, the woman will then have sex with the guy.

She will saying things like, “I can’t believe I’m doing this” or “I’m not usually like this” or “Should we really be having sex right now?” or “Do you think this is too soon?”

Why will she say things like that?


She wants him to be able to trust her if they get into a relationship, because he has seen that she doesn’t easily escalate to sex and can control herself.

Here’s the thing…

Women have just as much sex as men and enjoy it just as much as men, but they have to approach dating and sex differently to men.

For example: If women are too open about enjoying sex, they are often slut shamed (i.e. critizing a woman or thinking less of her because she enjoys sex) and looked down on.

However, if a woman keeps her sex life private and makes a guy feel like it’s unusual that she is interested in sex and it’s all because of him, he will usually be happier to hook up with her and commit to her in a relationship.

4. When you’re in a relationship

Mind games in a relationship

Regardless of how good your relationship is, a woman will always test your confidence and challenge your position as the dominant one in the relationship.

A woman doesn’t do that because she’s a bitch who wants to hurt you and make your life a misery.

Instead, she simply wants to feel safe that she is with a guy who has the emotional strength to handle challenging people and challenging situations in life.

She also wants to see that it continues to make sense for her to submit to you as the more dominant one in the relationship.

If a woman tests her boyfriend, fiancé or husband and he continually crumbles under her pressure and becomes insecure and emotionally sensitive, she will lose respect and attraction for him.

Likewise, if a woman tests her man’s position of dominance (e.g. by throwing tantrums, being unreasonably demanding) and he regularly crumbles under the pressure and hands over power to her, she will lose respect and attraction for him as her man.

The more respect and attraction she loses, the less interest she will have in sex or intimate affection (e.g. hugging, holding hands, caressing) and if that continues on for a while, she will eventually begin to fall out of love with him.

Some guys see this behavior by women as selfish, unloving, silly and annoying mind games and they wish that women would behave more like men do.

However, what you always need to remember is that it’s the difference between us and women that makes us so feel attracted to them.

The less feminine a woman is, the less attractive she is.

Just look at the photo below (of masculine lesbians vs. feminine women) and you’ll know what I mean.

Masculine and feminine women

Which women do you feel more attracted to? The masculine lesbians or the feminine women? Pretty easy answer, right?

Well, the same rule applies to a feminine woman’s attraction to your masculinity.

The more masculine you are in how you think, feel, behave, talk, take action and respond to women, the more attractive you will be to all kinds of feminine women (e.g. Shy, confident, hard to get, easy to get).

Don’t be angry at women and expect them to think, behave and feel more like masculine men do.

They are women and the fact that they are feminine and not like men is the reason why you are naturally attracted to them.

If women thought, felt, talked, behaved and acted like men, you wouldn’t be excited by them.

The behavior of feminine women might seem a bit crazy at times, but as you will have discovered in this post, there are reasons for it.

All women will test to see if you are a masculine guy (in how you think, feel, behave) and if you are, they will naturally feel attracted to you because your masculinity is what is most attractive to feminine women.

Your masculinity is just as attractive to women as their femininity is to you.

Let women experience your confident masculinity and you will then realize that attracting women is easy.

Attracting Women is Easy

Rather than looking at the behavior of women as being annoying, frustrating or immature, be wise and understand that there are very specific and valid reasons why women test men.

Be happy that you are a man and embrace your natural ability to effortlessly attract women by displaying some of the personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that women naturally feel attracted to about men.

Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works…

As you will discover from the video above, it’s who you are as a man and how that makes her feel that is most important to the majority of women out there.

As long as you can understand and accept the way that a woman’s attraction for a man really works, you won’t be wasting anymore time thinking, “Why do women play games?”

Instead, you will smile, accept women as being different to men and simply get on with enjoying an amazing sex life with women or get into a relationship with an attractive woman of your choosing.

Other guys are enjoying easy success with women and you can too.

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