A woman acting hot and cold means that she shows interest one minute and then appears to lose interest the next.
A woman will usually act hot and cold because:
- She wants to test to see if he is truly confident (e.g. will he become nervous and insecure when she stops giving him her attention, or will he relax, smile or remain confident in his attractiveness to her?).
- She wants to see how far she can push him (e.g. how much of her hot and cold behavior will he put up with before he loses interest in her? If he puts up with bad or rude behavior and keeps trying to get her to like him, she will lose respect for him for being such a wimp).
- He hasn’t fully triggered her feelings of sexual attraction for him yet, so she’s still undecided about whether she should give him a chance or reject him and wait to meet a guy who can make her feel turned on.
- She becomes interested because he displays attractive traits (e.g. confidence, charisma, emotional masculinity) and then loses interest because he displays unattractive traits (e.g. insecurity, fake nice guy persona, emotional weakness).
- She wants to see how interest you really are in her, before she fully opens herself up to you.
As you can see, there are different reasons for a woman acting hot and cold around a man, but really – you shouldn’t worry too much about it.
One of the most important principles of success with women is to not worry about their changing behavior and just remain confident in your attractiveness and value to them the whole time.
If you pay too much attention to the changing mood and behavior of a woman from moment to moment, she will lead down all sorts of crazy, ridiculous paths and when she notices that you are trying hard to understand her feminine behavior that doesn’t need to be understood, she will lose interest in you.
As Oscar Wilde once said, “Women are meant to be loved, not understood.”
What he meant by that is this: Love her and let her be a woman. Don’t try to understand all the ins and outs of her ever changing mood and ways of thinking and behaving.
Just relax, be a man and love her. Don’t pay too much attention to the random thoughts and emotions she has from moment to moment. Just believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her and love her for who she is, even if she goes hot and cold at times.
If you can do that, women feel excited to be around you because pretty much every other guy tries to get her to stop thinking, talking, feeling and behaving like a woman so she can be more sensible like he is a man.
Guys who do that get rejected by women and dumped out of a relationship or marriage.
The woman will say, “I don’t feel like myself anymore” or “I need time to find myself,” which essentially means, “I want to be a woman again. You make me feel like a male friend of yours and I don’t like it.”
So, if you want to know what to do the next time you’re around a woman who is acting hot and cold, here are 3 things that you need to remember whether you’ve just met her for the first time, are on a first or second date, or are in a relationship with her.
1. Your Level of Confidence Really Does Matter to Her
Most women act hot and cold with a guy is to see if he is a confident, alpha male, or if he’s an emotionally weak man who lacks the balls to handle challenging people or situations.
Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity, drive and determination) and turned off by emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self doubt, lack of direction in life).
Here’s how a woman finds out if a guy is emotionally strong or not…
- When she first meets him.
If a guy approaches a woman and she shows him a little interest at the start and then begins to play hard to get (e.g. by not contributing much to the conversation, acting like she isn’t interested anymore, pretending to be interested in other things like her phone or whatever else is going on around her), it’s the quickest way for her to test whether he is man enough for her or not.
She will simply wait to see if he becomes nervous and begins to doubt himself, or if he remains confident and relaxed and believes in himself no matter what she says or does.
By doing this one simple test, she is saving herself from wasting time with him in a relationship only to find out later on that he is an emotionally weak, insecure man.
If she wastes her time with him, she will potentially miss out on the opportunity to hook up with a guy who is emotionally strong enough for her woman like her.
- On a first or second date.
Just because a woman agrees to go on a date with a guy, it doesn’t mean she is fully committed to the idea of having sex or being in a committed relationship with him.
If a guy makes a woman feel enough attraction when he first meets her, she will almost always be open to the idea of going on a date with him as a way of checking if he is really the confident, charismatic, interesting guy she hopes he is.
Some women will test a guy’s confidence by seeming to be excited to be going out with him one minute and then seeming to lose interest in the idea and be about to change her mind.
If he fails to pass her confidence test and becomes flustered, or appears nervous and intimidated, she will automatically lose interest in him.
Of course, some needy, lonely or unattractive women might enjoy hanging on to a guy who is insecure, but the majority of attractive women won’t put up with a guy who can’t maintain her respect and attraction for him throughout the dating process.
If a woman is attractive, she knows that getting another date is as easy as saying “Yes” to the many guys who would love to stick it inside of her.
Yet, that’s not what she wants.
She doesn’t just want any guy who is hoping to get a chance to bang her.
She wants a confident guy who will maintain belief in himself and his attractiveness to her no matter how hot or cold she is when she meets him, goes on a date with him, gets into bed with him or gets into a relationship with him.
- In a relationship.
Even when a woman is in a happy relationship, she will never stop testing to make sure her guy is still man enough for her.
For example: She will pretend to be losing interest in her guy to see how he reacts.
If he reacts by becoming emotionally needy (e.g. clingy, jealous, angry), she will begin to see real character flaws that could become a problem later on (i.e. he might become even more insecure and turn into a controlling boyfriend or husband).
The reaction that a woman is looking for when she tests her man by acting hot and cold, is for him to show her that he loves her, but doesn’t need her to constantly remind him of her love (e.g. because he has his own friends, interests and hobbies, a great life purpose that he’s busy with).
She just wants to see that he remains confident in his attractiveness and value to him no matter what she says or does.
Ultimately, whether you are meeting a woman for the first time, or have been with her for many years, her instinct to test your confidence will always remain the same.
She will always check to see that you are still the kind of man that she can look up to and respect; and if she can, her attraction and desire for you will deepen.
2. She Needs a Man, Not a Mouse
No matter what you might have heard some women saying (e.g. on TV, through female friends, online, in magazines) about wanting a nice, sweet guy who does whatever she wants, most women want to feel that the man they are with is emotionally stronger than them.
For example: You might have heard women saying things like, “Anything a man can do, a woman can do better” or “A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle” or “Men are useless these days” or “Who needs men when we have dildos?” and other crazy stuff.
You might also have heard women saying they like the idea of approaching a guy first and asking him on a date, or insisting that men take on more of the woman’s traditional role in the home (e.g. cook, clean, change diapers).
Essentially, what women have been trying to convince men (and themselves) of, is that they actually prefer being the dominant one in the relationship.
Yet, that’s just not true.
For example: According to a study conducted in Norway, it seems that men who do most of the housework for their woman, are 50% more likely to get themselves divorced.
In another study conducted by psychologists on 6000 people in New Zealand, it was found that the couples who were the happiest and were having the most sex, were the one’s who stuck to the traditional man/woman roles within the home.
So, contrary to what all the feminists have been trying to get clueless guys to believe, women do not want to be the ones wearing the pants in the relationship; they actually prefer it when their man does that.
They love to be bent over and banged from behind, even if they go around saying, “I only like to be on top and ride a guy so I am in control.”
What you will find is that 95% of women say one thing and do something completely different (e.g. they say that they want a nice, sweet guy and then lust after a guy who is only interested in having sex with them and doesn’t want a relationship).
So, when a woman tests you (e.g. by acting hot and cold when you first meet her, on a date, or throws a tantrum in a relationship) it is simply her way of determining who is the more dominant one in the relationship.
It’s her way of testing to see if you are man enough to handle her, or whether she will have power over you and be able to push you around (i.e. if she decides to have sex or get into a relationship with you), or wear the pants (if she is already in a relationship with you).
Of course, some women enjoy dominating a man (e.g. insecure women, women with a masculine spirit, unattractive women), but the more feminine and girly a woman is, the less she will want to be stuck with an insecure, needy, clingy guy.
3. Use Her Tests to Spark Her Feelings of Sexual Attraction
Fact: If a woman doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you, she won’t want to have sex with you or be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you.
She might enjoy talking to you, and she may even want to be your friend, but without sexual attraction she won’t have much (or any) desire to be your girlfriend or lover.
If you want her to have sex with you and want to be your girlfriend, you have to make sure that you focus on sparking her feelings of sexual attraction first.
No matter how hot or cold she acts around you, if you keep triggering her feelings of sexual attraction by maintaining your confidence and behaving in some of the ways that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confident, charismatic, funny, interesting to talk to), she will not be able to stop herself from feeling excited to have finally found a man who can pass her tests and turn her on at the same time.
Remember this: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice to a woman and being a good guy, but trying to get her to like you as a person is not the same as her feeling uncontrollable, sexual desire for you.
Most modern women (unlike in the past), don’t need to get to know a guy for a long time, like him and be his friend first, before they will be willing to have sex with him or be his girlfriend.
If a guy can trigger a woman’s feelings of sexual attraction for him, she will be willing to have sex and be his girlfriend right away.
That’s just the way it is these days.
So, rather than waste a lot of time trying to get a woman to like you as a person and cause her to keep testing you (e.g. acting hot and cold, making it difficult for you to talk to her), simply focus on making her feel sexually attracted and turned on by.
The more attracted a woman feels to you, the less reasons she will have to keep testing your confidence.
Pass Her Tests and Then Take Off Her Dress
When a woman is attractive, chances are high that she will have already experienced one or more relationships with guys who were emotionally weaker than her, so she will be even more careful to avoid making the same mistake again.
She will act hold and cold and pretend not to be interested to make sure that she weeds out the emotionally weak guys and only accepts the strong ones.
So, rather than get annoyed or upset about a woman being hot or cold, just use her tests as an opportunity to make her feel so much desire for you (e.g. by being confident, making her laugh, making her feel girly in contrast to your masculine vibe), that she becomes the one who is trying to get you to kiss her and become her boyfriend.
You can have that power over women.
It’s actually a lot easier than you might think.
Most guys don’t get it, so they go through life feeling frustrated by women and asking, “Why are women so hard to understand?!”
Yet, it’s pretty simple.