Proposing marriage to your ex to make her get back with you, will only work if you don’t do it in a needy way.
For example: A guy who proposes marriage to get his ex back in a needy way will become desperate after getting dumped.
He might say to himself, “It’s all my fault!! I took too long to ask her to marry me and she got tired of waiting. I’ve blown my only chance at happiness in life because she is what makes me happy. I need to get her back not matter what. I’m going to ask her to marry me right now. I will buy her the best ring I can. I will sell my car if I have to. I must show her how much she means to me. When I do, hopefully she’ll forgive me for not asking before and will get back together with me. It has to work! This is my only chance!”
He may then go out and buy her a big, expensive ring and give it to her with all the romantic fanfare that typically goes with proposing marriage (e.g. champagne, flowers, getting down on one knee).
He’s hoping that when she sees the ring, she will throw herself in his arms and say something along the lines of, “Yes!!! At last! This is what I’ve wanted all along. Of course I will marry you. I love you so much,” and then everything will be okay again.
Essentially, he is hoping that the ring will change everything because he doesn’t realize that she’s breaking up with him due to how he has turned her off in the relationship.
So, when a guy desperately tries to win his ex woman back with a ring, it doesn’t work.
He needs to remain calm and reactivate her feelings for him, so she feels respect, sexual attraction and love again.
Then, and only then, will she be happy to accept his marriage proposal.
Watch this video for more info on how the ex back process works…
Unless a guy reactivates his ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for him before proposing marriage to her, she will usually say something like, “Sorry. It’s too late. I just don’t have feelings for you anymore.”
She’s not saying something like that because she’s being stubborn or cold-hearted.
Instead, she’s saying it because she can see that he hasn’t changed the things that turned her off about him (e.g. being insecure, not knowing how to be man enough for her, giving her too much power in the relationship) and that he doesn’t even know what to change.
He’s just hoping that a marriage proposal and a shiny ring will make her forget that there are deeper reasons why she broke up with him.
Then, they get back together and live happily ever after without any more problems.
Yet, a ring doesn’t equal a happy relationship or guarantee that a woman will want to stick with a man for life.
Watch this video…
Unless you have the correct relationship dynamic in place, your woman will get bored and want to cheat or leave you.
It’s just how it works these days.
Back in the 1800s and early 1900s, it was shameful for a woman to leave a man, so she would stick with him, even if she wasn’t happy.
You’ve got to have a great relationship and it’s not all about getting her a ring.
She will be in a relationship with you, not the ring.
A marriage only lasts if both the man and the woman feel mutual respect, attraction and love for each other.
If it’s one sided, it’s not going to last.
2 Reasons Why She’ll Say, “No” if You Propose to Her in a Needy Way
When a man who rushes into proposing marriage as a solution to getting his ex woman back, he usually makes the following two mistakes…
1. He doesn’t understand her secret reasons why she lost respect and attraction for him
A woman won’t always tell a guy her secret reasons for breaking up with him and may only say something like, “I need some space” or “I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore.”
So, right now, you may not know your ex’s real reasons for falling out of love and breaking up with you.
However, if you want to get her back and possibly even consider spending the rest of your life with her, you’ve got to understand her real, most secret reasons for losing respect and attraction for you (e.g. you were too soft and wimpy with her, you weren’t confident around other people).
If you don’t, you may offer to fix the wrong things about yourself, which will make her think, “How annoying. He just doesn’t get me. He thinks he can promise me anything and I’ll magically forget about the real reasons I’m turned off by him.”
Additionally, even if your ex decides to give you another chance, there’s nothing stopping you from repeating your past mistakes (and causing her to break up with you again), because you just don’t know what she really wants.
…and she’s not going to tell you.
Women hate to admit their most private, secret reasons for being turned off.
You have to discover that without asking her because if she’s like most women, she’s just not going to tell you.
Here are some of the main reasons why a woman will lose respect, attraction and fall out of love with a guy:
- He became too insecure and clingy in the relationship (e.g. he constantly needed her to reassure him of her love, he stopped having interests or friendships outside of his relationship with her, he tried to spend every spare minute with her, he became over-protective and even jealous if she wanted to go anywhere without him).
- He stopped making her feel feminine and girly in the relationship with him and made her feel more like his friend, big sister or one of the guys.
- He took her for granted (e.g. he stopped making her feel loved and appreciated, broke his promises to her, treated her disrespectfully in private or in front of other people, didn’t help her around the house, became annoying just to get a reaction out of her and make her feel like crap).
- He allowed her to wear the pants in the relationship and dominate him with her confident personality.
- He lacked purpose and direction in his life and was either stuck in a dead-end job, or was just drifting from job to job without any clear plan for the future.
By fully understanding what caused your ex’s feelings for you to change, you can then make some improvements to the way you think, talk and behave and show her that you’ve learned from your mistakes and become a better man since the break up.
When she sees the changes in you and experience renewed feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, she will begin to believe in a future with you.
Saying yes to a proposal will seem like it’s going to be good for her too, rather than just being good for you.
So, make sure that you truly understand what turned her off and begin to really change those things about yourself.
The second mistake guys make is…
2. He doesn’t fix or improve the things that were turning her off before proposing
There’s no point in figuring out the real reasons why your ex lost respect, attraction and love for you, if you’re not going to use that information to become a better man.
Sometimes a guy might say to himself, “I just need to get her back and then I’ll fix whatever she wants me to fix. If we get married everything will be okay. I don’t have any time to waste.”
It’s true about not having a lot of time to waste, but you don’t need to develop yourself for months or years.
All you need in 7 days.
In a week, you will be able to transform yourself, overcome insecurities and learn how to give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants.
If you give her too much space, you may end up losing her to another guy, so you need to act fast.
Watch this video for more info…
You’ve got to use the time apart to truly make some changes.
Don’t expect her to just want you back because you really want her back.
So many guys make that mistake and attempt to get their woman back because they need her, but they don’t even know how to offer her the attraction experience she really wants.
A guy like that might say to his woman, “Look, we can fix this. As long as we’re together, we can fix anything. Let’s get married. You and I are meant to be together. Please honey, I promise you that when we are married it will be different.”
He might be 100% sincere, but it doesn’t matter to her because she knows that he still doesn’t either know what has been secretly turning her off, or he has no clue how to change it.
So, rather than make her think, “Okay cool! He’s promising to change when we’re married, so I have nothing to worry about. Everything is going to be fine now!” she will think something like, “Does he really think I’m going to get married to him in the hope that things will be different then I’d be a fool to get married only to get stuck with a guy that I can’t respect, feel attracted to or love. No thank you. I don’t want to be another divorce statistic. He doesn’t understand me. There’s no way I’m getting dragged into an unhappy marriage.”
She will then say, “No” and ask him to leave her alone, give her space or even completely get out of her life so she can heal and get over the break up.
That’s not how you want your ex reacting, right?
If you want to make your ex get back with you, simply focus on fixing and improving the things that caused her to break up with you first.
Then, when you next interact with her (e.g. on a phone call and especially in person), you can show her that you really have changed in the ways that are important to her.
For example: If a woman dumped a guy because he was insecure and emotionally sensitive, he now needs to show her that he’s become more confident and emotionally stronger since the break up.
Another example is if a guy got broken up with because his woman felt emotionally more dominant than him, to get her back he needs to show her that he’s now more emotionally masculine, thereby allowing her to be more feminine in response.
When your ex can see for herself that you’ve moved past the level you were at when she broke up with you, she will naturally begin to feel some respect for you again for making the effort to become a better man.
When she feels respect, she can then begin to feel sexually attracted to you again and when that happens, she becomes more open to the idea of reconnecting with her feelings of love for you.
Then, if you ask her to marry you, she will be able to say, “Yes” because she will see that you’re a different man now.
On the other hand if you ask her to marry you without fixing or improving the things that were turning her off, she will likely just keep saying, “No” because she knows that it will be more of the same or it will simply get worse.
So, what should you do instead?
The Non-Needy Way to Propose Marriage to Your Ex
The best way to get an ex back is to remain calm after the break up.
Rather than panic and make a bunch of desperate mistakes that most guys make (e.g. begging and pleading with her to give him another chance, promising her that he’ll change, proposing marriage to her in the hopes that this will make her change her mind), just relax and focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you first.
Use every interaction you have with your ex, especially on the phone and face-to-face to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
One of the best ways to do that is by making her laugh and smile when she’s with you.
For example: Imagine you’re having a cup of coffee with your ex and she says something like, “I don’t know if I can give you another chance. I need you to change.”
A common reaction that a lot of guys might have, is to get upset and start saying things like, “I will change. I promise you. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Please, just give me a chance.”
Yet, that’s unlikely going to make her feel respect and attraction for him in that moment.
So, if she says something along the lines of, “I don’t know if I can give you another chance. I don’t believe you can change,” you can simply remain calm and confidently turn it into something to laugh about.
If you do, she will struggle to hold on to her negative feelings for you, her guard will come down and it will actually start to feel like a good idea to maybe get back with you.
An example of how you might respond is, “No problem. I can change, but I’m telling right now, even though I love you, I’m not going to do anything like dye my hair or get new shoes. I’ll get a crazy new hairstyle, but I’m not getting new shoes” and then have a laugh with her about that.
Obviously, it’s not your shoes or hair color that she wants you to change and because you will be saying it in a joking manner with a smile, she will get it that you are joking.
She will likely laugh (or smile if she’s playing hard to get) and she may begin to wonder about your ability to remain so confident and relaxed at a time when she’s trying to make you doubt yourself.
That’s sexy to a woman.
Women love guys who can remain confident under pressure and never, not even for a second, doubt themselves and their attractiveness to a woman.
Women love that.
So, when you can show her that you have the balls to joke around with her in that way, it demonstrates that you don’t doubt yourself.
You know that she has felt attracted to you in the past and can feel attracted to you again and you’re simply making it happen by being confident, charming and funny.
From there you need to continue building on that initial spark of respect and attraction for you, until she’s willing to get back together again.
Once you and her are back together again, it’s perfectly okay to talk about your plans to propose to her.
For example: You might say to her, “I’m glad we’re working things out between us. I want you to know that I really love you and if our relationship continues to get better within the next 2 weeks, I’m going to ask you to marry me. I’m not asking you to marry me right now, because that would be too soon. We both need to be sure that we’ve fixed all our issues first. Then when we get married, it will be because we both know that our relationship will be for life.”
That’s how to do it.
Now, are you ready to re-attract her and get her back?