The secret to approaching girls alone is to:
1. Approach with confidence
Girls don’t want you to feel nervous. They are hoping that when you approach them, you will remain confident even if they test you by acting like they’re not interested or by not contributing much to the conversation.
So, if you approach girls alone, just make sure that you allow them to experience your relaxed, easy-going confidence. Don’t expect them to make it easy on you by being really nice to you as soon as you approach though.
Most of the girls you approach alone or with friends will initially test your confidence by playing hard to get. So, make sure that you’re prepared to weather than storm by remaining confident in yourself no matter how they try to test you.
2. Immediately trigger their feelings of attraction for you.
If you approach girls, the most important feeling that you have to give them is attraction.
A lot of guy make the mistake of approaching girls and hoping to be liked for being so nice or friendly. That’s not how it works.
If you want girls to respect you, like you and want to continue interacting, you have to make them feel attracted.
3. Stay in there until you get a result
No guy can pick up every girl in the world, but most guys give up way too easily before they get a result.
I’ve found that if you just stay in the interaction and continue building up the girl’s attraction for you, she will eventually crack and open up.
Some girls are a lot easier than others, but if you want to pick up hotties, you’ve got to have the courage to stay in there and wait for the attraction to build up to a point where she finally stops playing hard to get.
Going Out Alone
Most people go out to social environments with at least one friend or in a group of friends. Women and girls in particular prefer to do things with a friend; they’ll even go to the bathroom in pairs or in a group.
This makes approaching girls alone feel quite intimidating for guys who are on their own because most of their friends are already in relationships, or for guys who don’t have many friends at all.
Guys also tend to go out with friends because it usually feels a lot easier easier and safer to approach a group of girls when you have a “wing man” to back you up. However, if you don’t have guy friends to go out with, you might need to start getting used to approaching alone.
From my personal experience of overcoming my fears of approaching women and then coaching guys and showing them how to approach women, I’ve found that it’s easier for most guys to improve their approaching skills with a wingman.
However, if you don’t have many friends or if all of your friends are already in a relationship, then you might be keen to give it a go on your own anyway.
If you are keen to approach girls on your own, try to avoid making the following mistakes…
Common Mistakes That Guys Make When Approaching Girls Alone
As long as you approach with confidence, trigger the girl’s feelings of attraction and then stay in there until you get a result, you will succeed on most approaches you make.
However, not all guys get it right. Here’s where they often go wrong…
Being out of tune with the vibe of the place
Every environment has a unique vibe and if you want to be successful when approaching girls, you’ve got to be in tune with the vibe. If your vibe and energy doesn’t match the environment, girls will put their guard up and play hard to get with you.
1. A group of girls are on the beach may be relaxing, sun bathing, having fun and maybe even playing in the water or some kind of beach ball game. What vibe do you think a guy should have when he approaches girls like that? Should he use the same type of vibe no matter what the girls are doing?
2. A group of girls are in a library and are there to study, read and get work done. What vibe should a guy have when he sits next to them and starts a conversation?
If a guy approaches girls and doesn’t match the vibe of the group or the energy of the environment, the girls will usually feel like he doesn’t belong in that environment and then reject him or ignore him.
2. Approaching in a hesitant or tense way
If a guy approaches a group of girls and behaves in a nervous, tense, hesitant or insecure manner, he will either be dismissed, or simply ignored by the women. Why? Women are naturally attracted to confident guys and are naturally turned off by emotionally weak or wimpy men.
3. Asking for permission to speak to them
Following on from the previous point, if a guy asks for permission to talk to the girls then he is already showing a lack of confidence in himself. A confident, alpha male will assume that the girls want to talk to him and he will just begin talking to them in an easy-going way.
4. Only focusing on one girl in the group
When a guy approaches a group of girls, it’s totally fine that he will like one of them more than the others, but that doesn’t mean he should ignore all of her friends.
If he approaches the group and singles out one girl while ignoring the rest of the group that she is with, not only will she feel uncomfortable and even think he’s being rude, but the rest of the group will automatically dislike him for disrespecting them and some will try to get rid of him.
5. Coming on too strong
A guy who approaches a group of girls and immediately begins coming on too strong (e.g. taking the whole conversation very seriously and trying to get the girl to commit to being in a relationship with him ASAP), then he is likely to be snubbed.
Women don’t like to be rushed into showing that they want to be in a relationship with a guy, so this type of behavior will not be welcomed.
6. Behaving way too “nice”
This type guy is really sweet; he says the right things, jumps up and volunteers to fetch more drinks, he buys ice cream for all the girls or offers to find a reference book on the History of World War II to help them with their assignment.
All the girls in the group like him because he is “safe” and they all think that he could be their friend, but unfortunately for him, none of them feel sexually attracted to him. Why? Niceness is good and you should be a good guy, but it is not what makes women feel attraction.
Watch this video for the full explanation…
7. Asking her out in front of her friends
Asking a girl out in front of her friends is a sure way to increase your chances of getting turned down or making her play hard to get.
A girl does not like to be put on the spot in front of others and prefers to make her decision privately and without feeling rushed or pressured. Additionally, asking a girl out before you are sure that she is attracted to you in a courting disaster.
8. Lacking sufficient conversation skills
One of the biggest mistakes a guy can make when approaching girls alone, is to have no conversation skills to back him up. If he doesn’t flirt or asks too many personal questions, the girls (and especially the girl he is trying to impress) will switch off and may also feel tense and uncomfortable being around him.
Watch this video to understand where a lot of guys mess up when talking to girls and what you can do instead to be successful…
Approaching Girls Alone is Easier Than You May Think
When you do it correctly, approaching girls alone is easier than you may think.
Contrary to what you see on TV or at the movies (where a guy will slapped or ridiculed for approaching), girls in real life are actually quite willing and open to meeting guys. If you approach with confidence and in behave in an authentic, easy going manner, pretty much any girl will be happy to have a quick chat with you.
If you can make her feel sexual attraction for you, then she’s going to want a lot more than a quick chat and will want to exchange numbers or escalate things to a sexual level that day or night.
Approaching women whenever you feel like it is a liberating experience for a man.
If you go through life feeling afraid to approach women whom you find attractive, then you will be sitting around hoping to get lucky, which usually means that you’ll be single and lonely for years and will likely have to accept a lower quality woman because the beautiful ones don’t usually throw themselves at guys who are afraid of approaching women.
Common Insecurities About Approaching Girls Alone
Do you suffer from any of the following common insecurities with regards to approaching women?
You are afraid or worried that:
- The women will not want to be approached.
- You may be interrupting them.
- The women might humiliate you in front of everyone.
- The women may snub you or ignore you.
- The women might make fun of you or laugh at you with their friends.
- You might freeze up and not know what to say when you stand in front of her.
- You might make a fool of yourself.
- You might run out of things to say.
- The women might find you boring.
Overcoming your insecurities is a process of getting a proper education on women and socializing. For instance, most guys don’t know that when women get dressed up and go out to a bar or club and then stand around, they are usually waiting to be approached.
If guys don’t approach them, the women usually worry that they may have worn the wrong dress, don’t look pretty enough or will complain about the lack of confident men who have the courage to approach.