While it is true that a guy’s muscles can make a woman feel attracted to him, it is not the most important thing that a woman looks for in a guy.
Some women are totally into guys who have muscles, but as you will discover by watching the video below (it includes photo proof), most women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a guy and do not require you to have big muscles to qualify for sex or a relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with building up muscles if you enjoy doing that, but if you’re motivation to get ripped is to get laid, you should stop wasting so much time and energy in the gym.
Yes, some women will only accept a male model with big muscles, but most women are more attracted to a guy’s inner qualities (e.g. confidence, charisma, social intelligence, emotional masculinity, etc) than his outer qualities.
“But, I’ve Seen Guys With Big Muscles and They Usually Have a Hot Girlfriend!”
If you’re at a shopping mall or walking down the street and see a guy with rippling muscles who happens to have a beautiful girlfriend on him arm, you might start to wonder to yourself, “Why do women like guys with muscles?”
Then, if you listen to the clever advertising messages of fitness centers or weight-lifting supplements, you might begin to think that to “get the girl” you first need to get the muscles.
However, if you take a moment to actually think about what you see in everyday life, you will realize that you always see beautiful women with boyfriends or husbands that do not have a perfect gym body.
So, no matter what bullshit the body building advertisements are trying to tell you, always make sure you stop to think about what actually happens in REAL life.
Again, there is NOTHING wrong with working out and building muscle if you enjoy it, but seriously – you don’t need mega muscles to attract and pick up the majority of women in this world.
The Big Muscle Myth
Celebrities such as Dwayne Johnson, Hulk Hogan, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger have immortalized the body builder image via movies and wrestling TV shows.
Thanks to the use of steroids and TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy), these men have been able to build huge amounts of muscle. They have used drugs to grow bigger muscles that will get them more attention in the media for looking like a monster of a man.
If you watch a lot of TV and movies that feature men with steroid-based muscles, you might start to feel as though you need to be like them.
Yet, if take an honest look at the real world around you everyday, you will notice that pretty much every guy with a hot woman is just an “average Joe.”
He will have an average build (or even be skinny or very overweight), average looks (or even be below-average in looks) and will be experiencing an average amount of success in life (or no real success at all).
Why is that?
Why do most women have a boyfriend who doesn’t have big muscles?
Why do most women lust after guys who are just normal looking guys? The answer is: It’s not about the muscles. It’s not about money. It’s not about height or penis size. It’s about CONFIDENCE.
If you don’t believe that, then you will likely feel insecure and inadequate for the rest of your life…and guess what? Women don’t want you to feel inadequate; they want you to be confident.
If women liked guys with muscles and only chose a guy based on that, 80% of the male population would be single.
Yet, in most developed countries, 30-65% of the men are overweight…and they have a girlfriend or wife or are dating multiple women at once.
Likewise, if women only went for tall men, then most of us guys wouldn’t able to get ourselves a girlfriend. So, don’t go through life believing that success with women comes down to height, muscles, money or looks.
Success with women about confidence and being a man, not wasting thousands of hours in a gym to get an extra few centimetres on your biceps.
There’s nothing wrong with working out in the gym and building muscle if you enjoy it, but if the main reason you spend so much time in a gym is to impress women, then you’re doing it wrong.
Women Want an Alpha Male…With or Without Big Muscles
When you really pay attention to what is going on, you will see that what women really want is a guy who is more alpha than the other guys available at the time.
This is why you will see women hooking up with guys who really aren’t that cool or who are jerks, but who are more alpha than the other guys in the situation.
Of course, the secret to success with women is not to be a jerk alpha male, but to be a good guy alpha male. That way, you are not only loved and liked by women, but by people in general.
Being a good guy alpha male is what we teach here at The Modern Man. If you’re interested in learning our simple secrets for success with women, make sure that you click around the site before you leave.
Not All Women Like Guys With Muscles
I know a lot of hot women and many of them have told me that they are actually turned off by guys with muscles because, in most cases, the guy will be insecure and lack confidence in himself.
To hopefully “impress the ladies,” many guys will spend hours in the gym every week pumping their muscles as big as they can. Yet, when they talk to girls, they lack the type of strength that is most important to women: Mental and emotional strength. In other words, confidence, assertiveness, remains calm and in control when challenged, etc.
Of course, there are some women who do like men with big muscles, just like there are some men who like strippers. Yet, those women are not the majority.
It might seem like the majority if you don’t know many women or haven’t hooked up with beautiful women, but believe me – muscles are not the answer. I don’t work out to build muscle, but I do exercise sometimes.
When I met my current girlfriend (shown in the photo above) I didn’t have big muscles, but I still picked her up even though she has a sexy body that is in shape (Update: Her and I recently got married after a short engagement. She’s 22 and I’m 37).
I picked her up because I’m confident and know how to make women feel attracted to my personality (i.e. by being charismatic, charming, sexual, etc).
If I had muscles, it would have been the same pick up process and I would have got the same results. You don’t pick up women because of muscles, you pick them up by making them feel attracted to you, building up the sexual tension and then releasing that tension with kissing and sex.
What matters to my girlfriend is that I am a confident, alpha male who is moving forward in life.
Yes, I could spend the time to put on muscle and have a gym body, but it’s not the answer to success with women. Having big muscles just a nice bonus that most women will happily go without if you are a confident man.
Besides, I have better things to do with my time (i.e. write more articles for The Modern Man, bang my sexy bitch of girlfriend, hang out with friends, etc) than lift weights up and down in a gym.
The Body-Building Craze is a Hollywood Inspired Trend
The body building trend, as we know it today, was a fad that came along in the Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hulk Hogan, Rocky era.
Just because that trend came along and stuck due to companies spending money to advertise gym equipment and body building supplements, it does not mean that body building has been going on for 1,000s of years. It’s just a trend and it doesn’t mean ANYTHING. It’s just a thing.
What does mean something is whether or not you’re a real man. If you’re an insecure guy who lacks confidence around attractive women, then it doesn’t matter if your biceps are bigger than the next guy’s.
Women aren’t going to drop to their knees and ask you to unzip your jeans because you have muscles; they only do that if you’re actually alpha and make them feel like a real woman.
You can’t make a woman feel like a real woman if you’re not even a real man. It doesn’t matter how big your pecs are; if you’re insecure and doubt yourself around her, she will perceive you to be as small as an ant.
The entire illusion that the movies magazines, advertisers and gym chains have created about women being attracted to buff and well-built male bodies with rippling muscles is based on lies.
Asking, “Why do women like guys with muscles?” is like asking why do all men like women with big boobs; some do and some don’t. Big boobs are not the answer for women to attract any man and big muscles are not the answer for you to attract any woman.
Big Muscles, But Still Single and Lonely
Gyms are full of guys who are single and wondering why they don’t have a girlfriend.
You might even have some friends (or this might apply to you) who have spent a LOT of time in the gym, hoping that it finally get women interested, yet nothing changes.
Why? It’s all about confidence, being alpha and being a man. If you’ve got muscles, then good for you and some women will see that as a bonus. Yet, it is absolutely, without a doubt, NOT essential for success with women.
When a guy fails to attract a woman for sex or a relationship, it is NOT due to him not having muscles. It will be due to more fundamental problems that he needs to fix, such as:
1. Lacking confidence and having low self esteem
When a woman first interacts with a guy, she will test him to see if he is an alpha male and when he fails their tests, she will lose interest or outright reject him.
Unfortunately for the guy, this rejection will usually result in an even greater dip in his confidence. He might decide to go to gym and pump us his muscles, then spend $1,000s of Dollars/Euros/Pounds/Etc on clothes, cologne, professional haircuts, skin cream, shoes and so on.
He hopes that all that external stuff will get him the girl, but it doesn’t.
If you’re one of the many guys who spends lot of money trying to make yourself look nice, then you will know that it doesn’t fix your issues with women.
If you want to be successful with women, you have to get rid of your insecurities and become more confident and alpha. Anything less than that will result in you having no women, have lower-quality women or getting lucky with a quality woman only to potentially have her dump you later on.
2. Lacking conversation skills
If you aren’t good at making conversation with attractive to women, it won’t matter to them whether or not you have a perfect gym body.
They might say, “Oooh, I like your biceps!” and genuinely feel a fleeting bit of attraction for you in that moment, but if they then notice that you lack confidence around them and can’t keep a conversation going and keep it interesting, they will quickly lose interest in you.
Being a great conversationalist is like having the keys to a woman’s locks. You simply unlock them, her guard drops and she is yours. It’s a beautiful thing to experience.
Watch this video to understand where guys mess up when talking to women and what you can do instead to ensure that you succeed with the pick up and the get the result you want…
3. Not flirting enough or not even knowing how to flirt at all
This is an extension of the above point. Flirting is absolutely essential for success at picking up women. During a conversation, flirting builds up an invisible attraction between a man and a woman and creates the all-important “spark” between them.
Flirting is a means of showing the other person that you like them in a sexual way, without ever having to say, “I like you, let’s have sex.”
By their very nature, alpha males are comfortable to flirt with women right away, because they know that most women automatically feel attraction for their confidence and alpha male behavior and thinking.
On the other hand, lower ranking males like to play it safe and try their best not to offend women, which (in their naive opinion) means avoiding any kind of sexual innuendo or suggestiveness.
I’ve lost count of the amount of times a guy has said to me, “…but, Dan – I don’t want her to think I’m being too forward. I want her to know that I respect her.” Funny stuff.
The poor guy (hey, I used to be like that myself) thinks that women are like innocent little angels and would never, ever think about having sex. Therefore, showing any kind of sexual interest is wrong or “too forward” and will result in him being slapped or humiliated in front others when she reacts badly.
4. Not understanding sexual body language and how to use it
Sexual body language is NOT about being sleazy. When you do it correctly, you will come across like George Clooney does when he interacts with women.
As you may have noticed, he comes across as classy, charismatic and socially intelligent. He doesn’t come across as a sleazy jerk; so don’t ever worry about showing your sexual interest in a woman. Doing so doesn’t mean that you will be perceived as a jerk.
Instead, sexual body language literally makes a woman feel turned on and excited to be interacting with you. In her mind, she can’t help but think of having sex with you, just as right now, you can’t help but think of a bright, yellow elephant.
Why are you thinking of a bright, yellow elephant? It’s simply how the human brain works. When it is presented with a piece of information to process, the brain will process it, regardless of what the information is.
When you begin using sexual body language with her and she automatically begins feeling turned on, she won’t be able to stop her brain from thinking about having sex with you. She will start visualizing it and thinking about it.
Your Inner Qualities Are the Most Important to the Majority of Women
When it comes to success with women, it is not your OUTER qualities (e.g. muscles, looks, clothes) that guarantee success, but rather your inner qualities (e.g. confidence, personality).
Yes, some women place more importance on superficial things about a guy (e.g. his looks, money, clothes, etc), but the majority of women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a guy and place more importance on a guy’s inner qualities.
You know this is true because you always see short, bald, fat, poor or weird looking guys with beautiful women. If success with women was based on a man’s outer qualities, most of us guys (me included) wouldn’t be able to get ourselves a hot woman.
As a man, you should be thankful that most women will choose to be with you based on your inner qualities.
However, if you believe the BS that you see in the media everyday, you may come to believe that women choose men based on looks, muscles, money and penis size. Yes, some women choose men based on outer qualities, but the vast majority of women do not.