Although it’s not the perfect place to meet women, the gym can be a great place to find a compatible woman who is also into working out and staying fit.
As long as you have the confidence to approach her in an easy-going manner and be friendly, while also triggering her feelings of sexual attraction for you, it will be fairly easy to get some phone numbers and set up some dates.
However, you’ve got to make sure that you approach this with an understanding that your results are not going to be the same as meeting a woman in a bar or nightclub. Some women are open to being picked up in gyms, but there will usually be less single women in a gym compared to a bar or nightclub or at a speed dating event for example.
As long as you are cool with that, then let’s get started.
The first thing you need to be able to do is make her feel attracted to you.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works and how you can use it to pick up women at the gym…
As you will discover from the video above, you can make a woman feel attracted to you in many different ways (e.g. by displaying confidence, being charismatic, being charming, using humor, etc).
As long as you are triggering a woman’s feelings of attraction for you, she will be interested in you.
Don’t Get Sucked Into the Serious, Lonely Vibe That People Often Have at a Gym
People tend to base their behavior on what everyone else is doing. If people normally remain quite and look serious in a gym environment, you will find that most people just copy that vibe and go along with it.
However, there is always room to lead the way to a different vibe.
It is always up to you how you feel in any given situation and if you are smart enough to be the cool, easy going guy, then the gym is going to be a great place for you to attract and pick up women.
Here’s what you need to do…
Focus on your workout, but also have an easy-going, open vibe. If you are standing around waiting to use some equipment and someone (a man or a woman) is waiting around as well, just be the cool, confident, easy-going guy and say, “Hey…how’s your workout going?” and have a casual, easy going chat.
You don’t have to talk for a long time. It might only be 10-15 seconds, but just be the guy who isn’t afraid to be awake and alive in the gym, compared to everyone else who has gone into their shell and is feeling alone amongst all the strangers in the gym.
It’s not about forcing conversation on people, but simply being open to say a quick hi or have a casual exchange of a few words. No-one likes the idiot who wants to have long conversations with people who don’t like him, whether it is in a gym, at a bar or at party.
However, if you’re a cool, confident, easy-going guy and you’re just saying something casual without expecting a serious conversation, then people will respect that.
More importantly, it will put you in the right frame of mind to be able to talk to and attract women in a much more natural, easy-going way.
Mistakes That Guys Make When Approaching a Woman at the Gym
Ben and Stu from The Modern Man worked as personal trainers in gyms for over 7 years.
They don’t have huge muscles, but they get laid by hot women all the time.
Here are some classic mistakes that Ben and Stu have seen guys making in an attempt to attract women in a gym environment:
1. Trying to impress her by lifting a lot of weight
This type of guy lifts way more weight than he can handle and thinks that by showing his strength, she will be impressed and attracted to him.
In his mind, he thinks, “She’ll see how masculine and strong I am and it will turn her on” and will believe that he is standing out from the crowd. Yet, in reality, most people don’t give a crap about what other people are doing during their workout and are simply focused on themselves…women included.
Some guys will even go so far as to exaggerate the amount of reps they are doing, in order to impress nearby women. When a woman walks past, he’ll start counting his reps aloud from 100 (101, 102, 103, etc) and hope that his apparent stamina will impress her.
What guys like that don’t realize is that women actually lose interest in guys who feel the need to impress them. Most women want to find a guy who knows that he is good enough for her and doesn’t need to put on a big show to make that known.
If a guy wants to pick up a woman, he needs to interact with her and trigger her feelings of attraction for who he is (e.g. by being confident, charismatic, funny, etc), rather than hoping that she will say, “WOW! You’re so strong! Let me suck your…”
2. Thinking that it’s all about the muscles
Some guys think that a woman at a gym will only be attracted to them if they have big muscles and a perfect physique that resembles something like The Rock or a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.
This idea started with Charles Atlas a little less than 100 years ago who encouraged young teenage boys to start working out and developing their muscles so that “they don’t get sand kicked in their face” and lose the girl to the bully with the big biceps.
Many guys bought into Atlas’s idea and spent YEARS of their life working out and building muscle, even though they weren’t experiencing any more success with women.
Guys may have gotten a little boost of confidence initially (from their new physique), but they still lacked the ability to attract and turn women on with their personality.
The fact is, most women (not all) place less importance on a guy’s physique and more importance on his personality…even in a gym environment. If a guy has muscles, but comes across in a way that turns her off, a woman isn’t going to say, “Well, I’m turned off by your personality and you bore me to tears, BUT you have big muscles, so okay, I want to suck your…”
It’s just not how it works.
Yes, some women definitely do want a guy to have muscles, but the majority of women place much more importance on a guy’s personality and how it makes her feel.
Want some proof?
Watch this video and you will see what I mean…
As you will discover from the video above, most women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a man than most guys realize.
There’s nothing wrong with having muscles or working hard to stay fit, but the truth is that you are already good enough for most women you meet. That’s a fact.
3.Disturbing her workout have a long conversation
Some women are very serious getting in shape or staying in shape, so when they are at a gym, they tend to be focused on burning calories and toning their body.
When a guy walks up to a woman and tries to have an in-depth, ongoing conversation while she is exercising, he is being inconsiderate and she will most-likely show her frustration by ignoring him or walking away to continue her workout.
The right way to approach her is to wait for her to take a break in between sets, or talk to her when she is waiting around to use equipment.
Simply smile, be confident and easy-going and have a quick chat with her and add in some humor (which will attract her) if you get a chance. For example:
You: Hey, how’s your workout going?
Her: Good thanks and you?
Her: [Shocked and thinking “Huh?” and may even ask you, “Why?”] You: Just kidding. I was having a great workout today, then I saw you and now it’s an awesome workout. You’ve made my day with your cute smile.
Her: [Most-likely laughing and thanking you for the compliment] You: I’m Dan by the way, what’s your name?
Her: [Gives you her name e.g. Rebecca] You: Cool, well nice to meet you Rebecca…I’m going to get back to my workout, but be afraid to come over and help me lift some weights. You might be skinny, but you look strong.
Her: [Most-likely laughing].
See how it works?
You’re being confident, easy-going and you’re adding in humor to get her laughing, which will make her feel attracted to you. You’re also not trying to stick around and talk to her for a long time and are respecting the fact that people are at the gym to work out.
She might want to stop and keep the conversation going with you, but if she wants to keep working out, at least you’ve sparked her attraction for you and now have an opening the next time you see her. For example:
You: Hey Rebecca…the girl with the cute smile. How’ve you been?
Her: [Tells you] You: You’re looking even more toned and in shape than last time.
Her: [Thanks you for the compliment] You: [Smile and jokingly ask] How about me? I look really good, don’t I?
The question about you looking good is meant as a joke and will show her that you don’t take your physical appearance as seriously as other guys do. You know that you look good enough for most women (no matter what your body shape is), so you are simply having a laugh with her and getting her to smile.
Getting a woman smiling and laughing when interacting with you (even if just briefly for 5-10 seconds) is worth more than an hour of boring, nice, polite conversation that doesn’t spark her feelings of attraction.
4. Acting like her personal trainer when she hasn’t asked for it
A guy like this will think he is being cool by telling a woman how she should do the exercises. “Hey, you’re doing that wrong…you’re going to hurt yourself” or “Hey, if you want to get better results, you should…”
He will shower her his workout tips and believe that by showing her how knowledgeable he is about the gym, she might like to “use him” for a while and be his girlfriend. Yet, she is more likely to thank him politely and then get rid of him as quickly as possible.
5. Being a really polite, nice guy
This type of guy thinks that if he is the perfect gentleman to a woman, she will be impressed by his manners and want to give him her phone number and go on a date with.
That’s not how it works. Here’s why…
As you will discover from the video above, sexual attraction is the glue that connects a man and a woman together and without it, they might as well be work colleagues, friends or family.
Women definitely like it when guys are polite and well-mannered when appropriate, but if a guy attempts to use politeness to impress her and doesn’t build any sexual attraction between them, she’s not going to be interested in anything sexual.
Sexual attraction has to come first and everything else flows on naturally after that. You can make women feel attracted to you in more than 100 different ways when you interact with them (e.g. by being confident, charismatic, charming, funny, etc).
Getting the Results With Women That You Want
Your level of success with women ultimately comes down to your ability to trigger a woman’s attraction when you meet her and then deepening her feelings of attraction, respect and love when in a relationship.
Most women will not be interested in a guy purely based on his muscles or the fact that he is a nice guy. You’ve got to be able to make her feel turned on by who you are and when she feels that, she will then appreciate everything else about you that is appealing…