I’m often asked if the techniques that we teach about attracting women are universal.
In other words, do all women, no matter their race, culture, nationality, upbringing or where they live all want the same basic traits in a man, such as confidence and the ability to make her laugh?
The answer is “Yes.”
Culture is a superficial reaction to life that changes over time.
Attraction is a deep, primal reaction that has remained the same for humans for ages, regardless of culture.
Of course, no two women are alike and some women do have certain cultural or religious preferences, or initially feel more comfortable with men who have a similar background, but in the end, attraction usually overrides any other considerations.
This is one of the reasons why there is an increasing number of interracial relationships in today’s world.
If interracial dating hookups, or serious relationships weren’t possible, then everyone would just date within their race.
Obviously, that isn’t the case.
Of course, when a woman is asked in person or in a survey, she will often say that she has certain physical preferences in a man.
Yet, in many cases, she will then happily date and develop relationships with men who don’t look like that at all.
If a man has attractive personality traits (e.g. is confident, emotionally masculine, charming, funny), a woman will begin to look at his physical appearance in a positive light (i.e. if she would have originally judged him as being average or below looking, she now looks at him as cute, hot, sexy and so on due to the attraction that his personality makes her feel).
This is one of the reasons why you will see men who aren’t considered good looking, with a beautiful girlfriend or wife.
In many cases, women don’t even know why it happens though.
Instead, the woman just goes along with how she is feeling.
This is why, women will often say to each other, “He’s not the type of guy I’m usually attracted to, but I really like him. There’s something about him that I find very sexy.”
What’s happening is that she feels attracted to the way his personality makes her feel and then, she begins to overlook the fact that he doesn’t have the kind of physical appearance that she thought she’d go for.
Confidence is Key, No Matter Where You Come From
Sometimes guys will contact me and ask things like, “I know your techniques work in the USA, Canada, Australia and the UK, but how about Brazil?” (or the Philippines, India, Norway, Taiwan, China, Africa, etc).
Somehow, a man will think that women are ‘different’ in his country and feel attracted to other traits (i.e. not feel attracted to confidence or the ability to make the woman laugh), even though we’re all human.
We’re all human and we all feel attracted to the same things in the opposite sex.
It’s basic biology that is completely separate to the superficial layer of ‘culture’ that changes over time in society.
For example: Above all else, women look for a man who is confident.
No matter what country or race a woman is from, she will be looking to assess a man’s level of confidence when interacting with her and handling himself in the world.
The shows on TV might be in a different language, or she might wear different fashion from women in other countries, but she’s still going to be assessing men by looking for the fundamental attractive personality traits that women look for in men all over the world.
Although outer masculinity (i.e. muscles, height) can help a guy attract women, inner masculinity (i.e. courage, balls, confidence) or emotional masculinity is what attracts women to men the most.
A woman wants to know that her man can take care of himself (and possibly her) in virtually any situation.
That doesn’t mean starting fights, or being a bully.
Instead, often the most masculine and mature way to handle a difficult situation is to avoid turning it into a confrontation, or by talking in an assertive, but friendly way with the men who are posing a threat.
Additionally, men who have stronger, inner masculinity have more confident, manly body language that people sense and therefore, don’t see him as a target to be picked on.
Men who get picked on are almost always those who have weak inner masculinity and therefore, seem soft, afraid, vulnerable and willing to submit to the dominance of others.
Women know this instinctively and as a result, they don’t feel attracted to emotionally weak men who will be picked on.
Regardless of a woman’s race, or where she happens to live, she wants a man who has strong, inner masculinity, so she can feel safe and protected and not have to worry about him, or both of them being picked on.
When a man has strong, inner masculinity, no-one wants to mess with him and practically everyone he meets instantly feels the need to respect him and be nice to him.
Try to remember a man that you met who seemed to have that inner strength and power and remember how you reacted to him.
Women notice those things and it attracts women deeply.
That applies regardless of culture, skin color, race or background.
This is an area that a lot of guys mess up.
Most guys know that women like guys who are funny.
Yet, not all humor is attractive.
So, a guy will try to be ‘funny’ around a woman, it won’t make her feel attracted and then he’ll assume that humor doesn’t work on women from a certain race or country.
He’s seen other guys use humor to attract women and it has worked, so he then assumes that those women felt physically attracted to the guy, so he could have said or done anything and it would have worked.
He then gives up and assumes that he can’t attract women because of his looks, or because women from a certain race or country don’t like humor.
Yet, the reality is that when a guy fails to attract women with humor, he is simply doing it wrong (i.e. being too soft or nice with the humor, being too silly, seeming feminine when doing it, not making sense, using awkward humor, appearing too nervous when saying it or after saying it).
As a result, the woman felt turned off by his lack of confidence and social intelligence and therefore, didn’t feel impressed or attracted by his attempt at humor.
If a guy doesn’t understand that, accept it and focus on improving his confidence and ability to attract women, he will mistakenly go through life thinking that attraction techniques don’t work on women in a certain culture, or women from a certain race.
He will blindly ignore the fact that other guys are able to attract women from that race or culture, or he may assume that women just don’t like his looks and therefore, he is doomed to fail with women for life.
The New ‘Open World’
In the modern world, most people are allowed to travel and even stay in many countries for short periods of time.
As such, more and more interracial relationships are occurring (i.e. people of different races and cultural backgrounds are feeling attracted to each other, hooking up and getting into a relationship).
Regardless of a woman’s background, she will feel attracted to the same fundamental traits that attract women in other countries (e.g. confidence, inner masculinity, charm, charisma).
If you have those traits, she will feel attracted to you and become open to being with you.
It’s as simple as that.
Likewise, if you’re in a country where you think women can’t feel attracted to attraction techniques that men use in other countries, then simply learn how to use the techniques and then try it.
Don’t just try once, seem unsure of yourself while doing it (that turns her off) and then give up and assume it can’t work.
Understand how to do it properly and you will then enjoy your choice of women, regardless of where you are in the world.
If you’re unsure if you can attract women using fundamentally attractive personality traits, then watch these two videos:
If you still think that you can’t do it, or that women in your country are ‘different’ then, sorry – I can’t help you.
You may need years or decades of time to eventually realize the truth of what you have learned in this post.
You can waste all that time if you want to, or you can just get on with using attraction techniques to attract the women you want and enjoy success with women now.
BTW: If you have seen the light by reading this post and now understand that you CAN attract women from different races by using attraction techniques, then I’d like to say, “Welcome to The Modern Man! You are about to begin enjoying your choice of women. Once you get used to attracting women by displaying attractive personality traits, it gets easier and easier by the day. Soon enough, you do it automatically without even having to try. Women instantly feel attracted to you because they sense your attractive traits. You have a different vibe to most men. Your vibe is attractive and magnetically appealing. Women simply can’t resist it. Enjoy!”
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I have recently purchased a few ModernMan products and am eager to to develop dating skills. I’m not sure if I picked the right place to post this, but I’m in a unique situation that I would like to share.
I am now living and working abroad, in Hungary. Of course, I have an extra challenge with the women here — most of them don’t know much English, and I’m not yet fluent in Hungarian. I’m wondering if this is a curse — or a blessing.
Part of me thinks that the language barrier could make it harder to connect with women, as it would significantly limit my conversational abilities.
Another part of me, however, feels that the language issue might be help things by serving as an explanation for not being an experienced conversationalist. Hungarians know that most Americans don’t know their language well. Back in the USA, people may have often sensed an awkwardness in me when I tried to start or maintain a conversation. Here in Hungary, when people find out that I’m an American, they seem to be quite impressed that I know some Hungarian, even though I have a ways to go before I’m fluent.
Of course, I know that non-verbal communication plays a big role, too, and I think that I’m making progress with that, too. Still, in addition to studying “The Flow” and “Mastery Mindsets”, I’m eager to continue learning more Hungarian.
I’d like your opinion about how language differences can affect dating opportunities. Thanks.
Thanks for your question.
I’ve lived in a few foreign countries and have never had a problem getting sex or a girlfriend, because it mostly comes down to flirting with your body language and vibe, knowing a bit of the language and then moving things forward. However, if the women don’t speak any English at all, you do need to learn SOME of the language to get a basic conversation going. Otherwise, most of the women you approach (in countries where English is not widely spoken) will literally shrug their shoulders and give up on the interaction.
When there is a language barrier, I have overcome it (in Hungary and Spain) by getting physical and getting sexual as quickly as possible. It isn’t the normal Modern Man approach of being social, having a chat and moving things forward. However, since you can’t hang out and chat, you need to move things forward quickly to avoid the interaction dying within the first 30 seconds. I move things forward quickly by touching her (examples in The Flow and Dating Power) while being fairly forward/direct with my sexual vibe. I’ve found this to be the only way to break through when you both can’t understand each other.
Essentially, you need to stick to the basic steps of The Flow, but don’t worry so much about trying to get to know the women initially (referred to ‘develop a connection’ in The Flow) – just move it forward to touch, kissing and sex. You’ll get to know her well after you’ve connected with sex because she’ll have more motivation to continue seeing you.
Thanks for your question.
Since hardly any women speak English there, try to find Chinese women who want to learn more English and are looking to teach foreigners Chinese in exchange for you teaching them some English. There should be plenty of that available.
Also, check to see if there is an expat community in your little city and meet up with them.
I’ve got a question… Not sure if you’ve addressed the topic yet, but here goes: I’d like to hear your opinion on ‘cock-blocking,’ ie male dynamics and how to deal with that whole aspect of dating and relationships. What to do with intrusive males, how to avoid jealousy, and any other interesting insights you have on the topic.
Thanks for your question.
Yes, I’m currently working on a product about that at the moment and it will be released in a few months. In the meantime, some quick advice: Jealous thoughts, questioning or accusations never produce positive results. They only cause you to feel needy and her to begin to hide things from you. So, simply avoid them altogether.
It is best to accept what is and understand that you will never fully own any woman. Just enjoy the relationship and it will go where it goes. Love her fully, but know that it could end and that is okay. She will pick up on that vibe and it will keep the relationship more balanced.
In terms of approaching and picking up women and being worried about other men: Never see any other guy as your competition.
That was very helpful.
Thank you and keep doing what you do!
I want to know whether it’s possible to send you an email regarding a problem I’m having, and get some advice from you through an email. For one thing it is going to be a bit long, and also I don’t want it appearing anywhere. I just need some advice from you in a personal manner. Pls let me know an email address if it is possible.
Thanks for your question.
Sorry Jane, I don’t have time for personal e-mails. I respond to dating advice requests on the site after about 2-3 weeks and respond to customer questions about my products within 24 hours. If I opened myself up to personal e-mails, I’d have 100s of people e-mailing me everyday (we have over 60,000 people on our newsletter list so it would likely be 1,000s). Just imagine trying to deal with that AND have a life.
If you want me to devote time to help you out, please sign up here: http://www.themodernman.com/phone_coaching.html
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