I’m often asked if the techniques that we teach about attracting women are universal.
In other words, do all women, no matter their race, culture, nationality, upbringing or where they live all want the same basic traits in a man?
The answer is “Yes.”
Why?
Culture is a superficial reaction to life that changes over time.
Attraction is a deep, primal reaction that has remained the same for humans, regardless of culture.
Of course, no two women are alike and while some women might have certain cultural preferences, or a comfort level with some men who have a similar background, in the end, attraction usually overrides any other considerations.
Additionally, some women say that they have certain physical preferences (muscular/slim, tall/short, brunette/blonde/black hair.) that they look for in a man, but often date and develop relationships with men who rarely look like the type of man they’d once pictured in their mind.
The same goes for men; while a certain might dream of being with a blonde, he will usually just as happily fall for a pretty brunette.
For women, if a man possesses the right personality and character traits, she will actually start to look at his physical appearance in a positive light (i.e. if she would have originally judged him as being ugly, or below average looking, she now looks at him as cute, hot, sexy and so on).
This is one of the reasons why you will see unattractive looking men with beautiful women.
Often, to their own surprise, you’ll hear one woman tell one another, “He’s not the type of guy I’m usually attracted to, but I really like him.”
Confidence is Key, No Matter Where You Come From
Sometimes, guys will contact me and ask things like, “I know your techniques work in the USA, Canada, Australia and the UK, but how about Brazil?” (or the Philippines, India, Norway, Asia, Africa, etc).
Somehow, a man will think that women are ‘different’ in his country and feel attracted to other traits, even though we’re all human and have the same physical biology.
Change a woman’s skin color and she looks like a white woman, change the slant of her eyes and she goes from looking white to looking Asian.
We’re all human and we all feel attracted to the same things in the opposite sex.
It’s basic biology.
Forget about culture and focus on fundamental attraction.
For example: Above all else, women look for a man who is confident.
It doesn’t matter what country he is from, or what skin color, hair color or eye shape the woman has; she is going to be assessing his level of confidence.
Regardless of culture, women are attracted to men who can speak to them confidently and who are not afraid to say something interesting, funny and/or cheeky to spice things up.
Men who put on an act of being a really nice guy in the hope of being liked by a woman, usually end up turning her off, regardless of her race or cultural background.
Inner Masculinity
Although outer masculinity (i.e. muscles, height) can help a guy attract women, inner masculinity (i.e. courage, balls, confidence) is what attracts women to men the most.
A woman wants to know that her man can take care of himself (and possibly her) in virtually any situation.
That doesn’t mean starting fights, or being a bully.
Instead, often the most masculine and mature way to handle a difficult situation, is to avoid turning it into a confrontation, or by talking in an assertive, but friendly way with the men who are posing a threat.
That’s handling the situation and it’s much better for a woman than a man who feels the need to fight (i.e. because fights are dangerous to him and her).
When a man has strong, inner masculinity, no-one wants to mess with him and practically everyone he meets instantly feels the need to respect him and be nice to him.
Just think of a man you’ve met who seemed to have that inner strength and power and remember how you reacted to him.
Women notice those things and it attracts women deeply.
That applies regardless of culture, skin color, race or background.
Attractive Humor
This is one of the examples that some guys get really confused about.
Essentially, a guy won’t really know how to use attractive humor correctly and he will then try it on a woman and it won’t work.
When it doesn’t work, he will then think that attraction techniques don’t work in his country…even though they do.
He’s seen other guys do it and just assumes that women feel physically attracted to that guy, so they give him as pass and ‘let him’ do it.
Yet, that is incorrect.
The guy who failed when using attractive humor either didn’t know how to do it properly, or appeared nervous and unsure of himself prior, during or after using the humor.
As a result, the woman felt turned off by his lack of confidence and therefore, didn’t feel impressed or attracted by his attempt at humor.
If a guy doesn’t understand that, accept it and improve his confidence and ability to attract women, he will mistakenly go through life thinking that attraction techniques don’t work on women in his culture.
He will blindly ignore the fact that other guys are able to do it in his country, or assume that the women only like it because the guy is physically good looking.
He will overlook the fact that women like experiencing more attraction from guys that they feel attracted to and looks are NOT the only way to create feelings of attraction inside of a woman.
A man can also make a woman feel attracted to his confidence, inner masculinity, charm, charisma and so on.
When a man knows how to do that within 10 seconds of meeting a woman, she will behave completely differently towards him, compared to if he were to turn her off by displaying signs of being unsure of himself.
The New ‘Open World’
In the modern world, most people are allowed to travel and even stay in many countries for short periods of time.
As such, more and more interracial relationships are occurring (i.e. people of different races and cultural backgrounds are feeling attracted to each other, hooking up and getting into a relationship).
Regardless of a woman’s background, she will feel attracted to the same fundamental traits that attract women in other countries (e.g. confidence, inner masculinity, charm, charisma).
If you have those traits, she will feel attracted to you and become open to being with you.
It’s as simple as that.
Likewise, if you’re in a country where you think women can’t feel attracted to attraction techniques that men use in other countries, then simply learn it and do it properly and you will see that it works.
Don’t just try once and seem unsure of yourself while doing it and then give up.
No.
Understand how to do it properly and you will then enjoy your choice of women, regardless of where you are in the world.
If you’re still unsure if you can do it, then watch these two videos:
If you still think that you can’t do it, or that women in your country are ‘different’ then, sorry – I can’t help you.
However, if you have seen the light and now understand that you can attract women in your country using attraction techniques, then I’d like to say, “Welcome to The Modern Man! You are about to begin enjoying your choice of women.”
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I have recently purchased a few ModernMan products and am eager to to develop dating skills. I’m not sure if I picked the right place to post this, but I’m in a unique situation that I would like to share.
I am now living and working abroad, in Hungary. Of course, I have an extra challenge with the women here — most of them don’t know much English, and I’m not yet fluent in Hungarian. I’m wondering if this is a curse — or a blessing.
Part of me thinks that the language barrier could make it harder to connect with women, as it would significantly limit my conversational abilities.
Another part of me, however, feels that the language issue might be help things by serving as an explanation for not being an experienced conversationalist. Hungarians know that most Americans don’t know their language well. Back in the USA, people may have often sensed an awkwardness in me when I tried to start or maintain a conversation. Here in Hungary, when people find out that I’m an American, they seem to be quite impressed that I know some Hungarian, even though I have a ways to go before I’m fluent.
Of course, I know that non-verbal communication plays a big role, too, and I think that I’m making progress with that, too. Still, in addition to studying “The Flow” and “Mastery Mindsets”, I’m eager to continue learning more Hungarian.
I’d like your opinion about how language differences can affect dating opportunities. Thanks.
Hey Daniel
Thanks for your question.
I’ve lived in a few foreign countries and have never had a problem getting sex or a girlfriend, because it mostly comes down to flirting with your body language and vibe, knowing a bit of the language and then moving things forward. However, if the women don’t speak any English at all, you do need to learn SOME of the language to get a basic conversation going. Otherwise, most of the women you approach (in countries where English is not widely spoken) will literally shrug their shoulders and give up on the interaction.
When there is a language barrier, I have overcome it (in Hungary and Spain) by getting physical and getting sexual as quickly as possible. It isn’t the normal Modern Man approach of being social, having a chat and moving things forward. However, since you can’t hang out and chat, you need to move things forward quickly to avoid the interaction dying within the first 30 seconds. I move things forward quickly by touching her (examples in The Flow and Dating Power) while being fairly forward/direct with my sexual vibe. I’ve found this to be the only way to break through when you both can’t understand each other.
Essentially, you need to stick to the basic steps of The Flow, but don’t worry so much about trying to get to know the women initially (referred to ‘develop a connection’ in The Flow) – just move it forward to touch, kissing and sex. You’ll get to know her well after you’ve connected with sex because she’ll have more motivation to continue seeing you.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Sean
Thanks for your question.
Since hardly any women speak English there, try to find Chinese women who want to learn more English and are looking to teach foreigners Chinese in exchange for you teaching them some English. There should be plenty of that available.
Also, check to see if there is an expat community in your little city and meet up with them.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I’ve got a question… Not sure if you’ve addressed the topic yet, but here goes: I’d like to hear your opinion on ‘cock-blocking,’ ie male dynamics and how to deal with that whole aspect of dating and relationships. What to do with intrusive males, how to avoid jealousy, and any other interesting insights you have on the topic.
Cheers
Rob
Hi Robert
Thanks for your question.
Yes, I’m currently working on a product about that at the moment and it will be released in a few months. In the meantime, some quick advice: Jealous thoughts, questioning or accusations never produce positive results. They only cause you to feel needy and her to begin to hide things from you. So, simply avoid them altogether.
It is best to accept what is and understand that you will never fully own any woman. Just enjoy the relationship and it will go where it goes. Love her fully, but know that it could end and that is okay. She will pick up on that vibe and it will keep the relationship more balanced.
In terms of approaching and picking up women and being worried about other men: Never see any other guy as your competition.
Cheers
Dan
Wow Dan,
That was very helpful.
Thank you and keep doing what you do!
Hi Dan,
I want to know whether it’s possible to send you an email regarding a problem I’m having, and get some advice from you through an email. For one thing it is going to be a bit long, and also I don’t want it appearing anywhere. I just need some advice from you in a personal manner. Pls let me know an email address if it is possible.
Thanx.
Hi Jane
Thanks for your question.
Sorry Jane, I don’t have time for personal e-mails. I respond to dating advice requests on the site after about 2-3 weeks and respond to customer questions about my products within 24 hours. If I opened myself up to personal e-mails, I’d have 100s of people e-mailing me everyday (we have over 60,000 people on our newsletter list so it would likely be 1,000s). Just imagine trying to deal with that AND have a life.
If you want me to devote time to help you out, please sign up here: http://www.themodernman.com/phone_coaching.html
Cheers!
Dan