If you want a friends with benefits relationship with a woman to turn into an exclusive, committed relationship, you have to make her feel so attracted to you that an exclusive relationship becomes her idea.
When she wants to be exclusive more than you do, the relationship begins with the right dynamic because you are giving her a chance to be with you. Women love the thrill of the chase and it’s much more exciting for a woman to have to convince you to be exclusive with her, than feel like she is doing you a favor by becoming exclusive with you.
Why? If she is attractive, most are way too easy to attract and seduce. Watch this video to understand why…
What to Do if You Genuinely Only Want Sex and Not a Relationship
If you are genuine about your desire to only be friends with benefits, you simply need to let her know that you find her sexy, but that you’re not looking for a girlfriend right now.
For example: If she makes an effort to look sexy, pretty or beautiful, openly say to her, “Wow…look at you today. You’re looking sexy…I like it” so she knows for sure that you see her in that way.
At some point, she’s going to ask you about why you don’t have a girlfriend. Simply, “I’m not looking for a girlfriend right now, but I like spending time with you because you’re sexy.” She will get the message.
Some women who really like you will hope that they can change your mind and get you to commit to them, but that’s all part of the fun for both of you when it comes to FWB relationships.
Personally speaking, I’ve had many women cry their eyes out in an attempt to get me to feel sorry for them and commit, only to then call me an asshole for not committing…and then come to see me for sex a week later.
FWB relationships are often full of that type of drama, but if you initially made it clear that you’re not looking for a girlfriend, she can never sincerely accuse you of being an asshole. Instead, she will actually secretly respect you that little bit more because you’re a man of your word and are not easily swayed by the pity pleas of a woman.
Why Most Guys Can’t Handle FWB Relationships
Unless a guy can easily attract and pick up other beautiful women whenever he wants, he will almost always end up developing “feelings” for a friends with benefits woman.
He might start out acting like he is totally cool with the idea of a FWB relationship, but when he develops feelings for her and notices that she still wants to keep things casual, he will usually start behaving in a way that turns her off.
For example: He will become insecure about her desire for him and ask questions like, “So, do you like me?” or “Are you attracted to me?” or “Do you have any feelings for me?” or “Do you enjoy what we have?”
All of those questions are turn offs for a woman because women are attracted to a guy’s confidence, not his insecurity. To make her want to have an exclusive relationship with him, he has to make her feel so attracted to him that she begins to develop feelings for him.
Can You Handle a FWB Relationship With Her?
If a female friend suggests that you and her become “friends with benefits” (i.e. have casual sex and not become boyfriend and girlfriend), it’s a pretty enticing offer.
Yet, can you handle it? To clearly answer that question, consider the following…
1. Do You Really Only Want to Be Just Friends With Her?
If she’s suggesting adding sexual benefits to your friendship, you obviously get on well and feel relaxed in each other’s company. She definitely finds you attractive, but by suggesting that you become friends with benefits, it usually means that she doesn’t see you as someone she wants to be in a “serious” relationship with.
Either that, or she is trying to manipulate your emotions by pretending to only want to be friends with benefits so she can have sex with you, make you fall in love with her and then beg her to be your girlfriend. In other words, she’s insecure about your desire for her and wants to make sure she really gets you to want her and commit to the idea of being with her.
So, what do you really feel for this woman? It it really just her friendship that you want? Is there a danger that adding “benefits” to the mix will lead to you wanting more from her than she’s prepared to offer?
Think about it for a moment….
Friends with benefits have sex together – but they’re not together. Let’s say you’ve had sex with your friend on a couple of occasions when no other guys are really pursuing her. It all feels fine at that point and on the surface it sounds like a win-win situation; she wants sex and she’s calling you…why wouldn’t you give her what she wants?
Well, it’s usually not that simple…
If you don’t have any other options with women because you don’t really know how to attract women, how are you going to feel when her dating life picks up and she starts having sex with other guys?
What are you going to be doing when she starts having sex with other guys? Are you going to care? Are you going to want her to stop and just be with you because you’ve developed feelings for her? Will you feel betrayed or rejected?
If you’re not approaching and having sex with other women right now and are secretly hoping to get into an exclusive relationship with her, it will almost certainly blow up in your face. The only way to avoid her rejecting you is to really, truly know how to attract her and make her only want you.
2. How will you feel if she gets into a relationship with another guy and stops being your FWB?
If you’ve been getting regular sex from her every week for a few months and have maybe even developed feelings for her, will you feel rejected if she gets into a relationship with another guy? Will you want to make her change her mind?
What if she tells you that she’s now in love with the new guy and says that she can no longer be your FWB?
If you are the type of guy who can easily attract and pick up other women, you’re not really going to be worried about it at all. In fact, you’re probably going to be happy for her.
However, if you got lucky with her (i.e. she wasn’t very attracted to you, but gave you a chance because she was bored and needed some action, or she needed a guy who make her feel loved after getting dumped by a boyfriend) and you have no other options with women, it’s probably going to feel like a serious break up to you.
You will probably look at her as your girlfriend and will have been trying to get her to change her mind about the FWB.
This is why, as a man, it’s so important that you understand how to attract women. If you don’t know how to attract women and are simply trying to get lucky, you will almost always get rejected or dumped by women that you like.
If you start falling in love with her and want to have her as your committed girlfriend, but she’s dating other guys and still looking for “the one” for her, how will that make you feel?
Will you be able to get her to want only you by making her feel a lot of attraction for you, or will you end up behaving in a needy, insecure way that turns her off?