Imagine if marriage was a contract that expired after 10 years, rather than being a lifetime contract that could only be ended through a divorce or through death.
I’m going to coin a term here and call this an Expiry Date Marriage, which is something that society is not ready to accept in 2014, but will most-likely be completely open to by 2045.
Here’s how an Expiry Date Marriage would work:
- The marriage contract would be for 10 years and would then expire.
- If the couple did not renew their marriage certificate, they would be free to go their separate ways without having to go through a messy, costly and time-consuming divorce process.
- If a couple wanted to remain married, they would simply fill out a renewal form for another 10 years.
- If a couple wanted to end the marriage before 10 years, they would simply fill out a cancellation form and the marriage would be dissolved without any divorce proceedings.
Why Am I Suggesting the Idea of Expiry Date Marriages?
I understand that some guys who will read this won’t want to face up to the reality that the world around them is changing, as it always has.
However, it is my responsibility as a role model in this area to be open and honest and to put forth ideas that will help men make more intelligent decisions regarding women and relationships.
Expiry Date Marriages might not be an option for another 30 years, but at least I will have done my job at opening a guy’s eyes to what is happening to relationships between men and women in 2014.
Here are some of the reasons why I am suggesting Expiry Date Marriages as an idea to consider:
1. Human lifespans are increasing every year
The old idea of “staying together for life” is no longer as simple as it once seemed.
In the past, a couple would marry, stay together and then die at approximately 70-80 years of age.
Getting married for life was something people could accept because we had a very limited lifespan and there was absolutely no way to stay alive any longer than usual.
However, if what science is telling us is true, people who can make it to the year 2045 will have access to technology that will make a human body revert back to being a healthy 30 year old.
In other words, we wouldn’t have to grow old and frail if we didn’t want to and could choose to have a youthful, healthy body for an indefinite period of time.
What will happen to marriage when staying alive for 200+ years becomes normal? I’m not talking about staying alive and being old and frail, I am talking about being youthful.
When that happens, will humans want to stay in a marriage for 200+ years even though 50% of couples in 2014 can’t even last in a marriage with our current lifespan of only 70-80 years?
Maybe some couples will be able to do it because they’ll truly be in love and will have built a strong family around them, but what about the couples who don’t want to stay together forever?
Should they have to go through costly, messy divorce proceedings as a punishment for not staying together forever?
Most people see the idea of increasing lifespans as “science fiction” even though life expectancy has been increasing every year for the last 100 years.
If the trend of increasing lifespans continues (I think it will actually speed up over the next 30 years), people who can make it to 2045 will most-likely be able to life indefinitely from then on.
When that happens (or if it happens), what will happen to marriage? Marriage is based on the idea of sticking together for life, growing old and then dying, but what will happen when death is delayed for hundreds of years, or even when death becomes optional?
Watch the full documentary below (Decoding Immortality) and you will see that, Nobel Prize-winning scientist Elizabeth Blackburn, discovered an enzyme that can keep cells young indefinitely. This is just one of many developments that have happened in recent years.
2. Culture always changes
All across the world today, people have very strong views about how things “should be.” Most people think that they know how life should be lived and that anyone who disagrees with them is wrong, naive and should just listen to them.
A classic example is how white people used to passionately protest about the “mixing of the races,” only to later realize that we are all human, regardless of our different skin or hair color.
We are all from the same human family, but many thousands of years ago, we simply went our separate ways (venturing in different directions around the planet) and are now interacting and interbreeding with each other again in a more globalized, connected society.
These days, interracial marriage is seen normal and people have stopped protesting about it.
However, if you told a racist person back in the 1930s that they should be open to interracial marriage, they would’ve probably told you that they were 100% set on their opinion and would never change it.
Many of those people went to their grave being racist, but many also opened their eyes and stopped clinging to an incorrect perspective of the reality around them.
The same goes for guys today who believe that nothing will ever change.
Many guys want to live the same type of lifestyle that their grandfather or great grandfather lived (e.g get married and then die at 70-80 years of age), even though lifespans are increasing and science is working out how to reverse aging.
As a man in 2014, you may not like the idea of staying alive for longer, but believe me – the culture around you is going to change over the next 30 years and it will become normal and acceptable when the technology is available to the public.
Throughout history, culture has always changed when new technology was made available to the public and living for longer will be no exception.
I think it would be fair to assume that most of the Japanese Samurai didn’t think past their culture and mistakenly believed that the samurai tradition and lifestyle would continue on forever.
Yet, Japanese culture changed and the samurai became irrelevant and unnecessary in their society.
The top hat wearing gentleman of early England thought they had it all worked out, but the culture changed and they became irrelevant as well, even though they would have fought against it and tried to convince people to continue behaving like they did.
The hippies thought they’d discovered a new and better way for humanity to live, but most of them gave up and got a job. Likewise, just because it has been the norm for people to get married and then prepare to die at 70-80 years of age, it doesn’t mean it will always be that way.
Culture always changes, especially when new technologies are discovered and made available to the public.
3. Men usually get screwed during the divorce process
In most countries, a husband usually has to give 50% (or more) of his assets to his ex-wife, even if she didn’t earn any money throughout the marriage. It’s almost as though the legal system is making him pay for her “services.” Women in 2014 have an incentive to divorce their husband, take half of his money and assets and then go splurge it on a fun lifestyle.
The law that requires husbands to give 50% of their assets to an ex-wife was relevant back when women couldn’t earn their own money, but women now have equality and can hold high paying jobs, run businesses or be supported by government payouts (in some countries).
The divorce law hasn’t been changed because it’s still a “hot potato” to deal with in a politically correct world. Politicians and the general public would rather ignore it than face up to the fact that men are currently getting screwed by the legal system when it comes to divorce.
Of course, I’m not talking about men being forced to pay child support – that is a completely different issue and one that I support.
I’m currently 36 years of age and if no further scientific developments are made and I naturally grow old and die at 70-80 years of age, then I am almost 100% certain that my girlfriend and I will stay together for life.
However, if scientists successfully reverse the aging process in humans (they’ve already done it for some lifeforms) and I end up living indefinitely, then I’m pretty sure that my girlfriend and I may take a break around the 1,500 year mark! Lol…
My parents (and my girlfriend’s parents) are still happily married and I definitely believe in the idea of marriage and staying together for life.
Update: We recently got married. She signed a prenup and she now runs a successful business of her own, so I am not worried if we part ways in 1,000s years time, lol. I believe that if her and I live out normal human lifespans, we will never break up. Our love and commitment really does become deeper, more profound and more meaningful every day.
In 2014, I am living my life as though I will die at 70-80 years of age, but with the knowledge that I probably won’t. Believe me, I know it will sound “sci fi” to some guys about living indefinitely and if that is the case for you, I recommend that you get updated on what is actually going on in your world.
Watch the entire four seasons of Through the Wormhole and you will see that the world has been rapidly changing without most people being aware of it. Technologies that will radically change the fabric of society and how it functions are currently in final testing phases in many labs and factories around the world.
Over the years, I purposefully rejected many women who wanted to marry me or start a family with me. When I was ready, I selected the perfect woman for me and we are now in an amazing relationship that seems set to last a lifetime.
However, it will be interesting to see what happens to humanity over the next 30-40 years if science does reverse the aging process for humans and presents us with the opportunity to live indefinitely.
I plan on sticking with my girlfriend for life and being a role model for other men who want to keep a relationship together with a woman for life, regardless of the changing world around them.
Along the way and over the years, I’m not going to be afraid to challenge old ways of thinking about marriage and relationships.
I know that people usually don’t like change and are afraid of new ideas that make them feel uncertain, but as modern men, we need to be stronger than that; we’ve got to open our minds to the reality that the world around us has always been changing and it will continue to change at a faster pace that it ever has before.
The Benefits of an Expiry Date Marriage
Here’s what I think would happen if we switched from a lifetime marriage contract to an Expiry Date Marriage contract:
Benefit #1: No More Messy and Costly Divorces
With an approximate 50% divorce rate in most developed countries, can you imagine how much time, energy and taxpayer money is wasted going through unnecessary divorce proceedings in lawyer offices or courts?
Can you imagine the emotional pain and turmoil that couples experience when they are forced to go through divorce proceedings?
I understand that punishing couples by forcing them to go through a divorce proceeding helps to keep some marriages together, but it’s obviously not working; almost 50% of marriages end in divorce in many developed countries.
If the divorce rate was only 10% then the idea of Expiry Date Marriages wouldn’t matter so much, but since almost half of married couples end up divorcing, shouldn’t we be looking at cleaner, more efficient ways of dealing with the problem?
When Gweneth Paltrow and Chris Martin decided to end their marriage back in March 2014, they didn’t refer to it as a divorce. They both still love each other, but decided to go their separate ways while still maintaining a positive friendship while taking turns to look after and raise their children.
They haven’t yet begun divorce proceedings, but if they do, it will probably get messy and even nasty like most divorces.
Paltrow and Martin were married for 10 years, so if the Expiry Date Marriage contract was available, would they have taken it? Would it have taken the romance out of the idea of getting married, or would they have signed up to a marriage that included a clean exit clause?
On her website Goop.com, Gweneth Paltrow wrote, “We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.”
I know, I know…
Most guys don’t want to acknowledge the idea of conscious uncoupling because we want to keep living the same way that our grandparents did.
We don’t want the world to change and we don’t want to feel uncertain about a relationship potentially ending sometime in the future. To many, the idea of conscious uncoupling sounds like a cop out for people who are not good at relationships…and I agree.
Whether or not you agree with what Paltrow and Martin did despite having two children, the fact is that culture has always changed and will continue to change.
Just because life used to be about working on a farm and living with your immediate family until death, it didn’t stop much of the world’s population from moving into cities and living a mostly independent lifestyle away from their immediate and extended family.
Things change; they always have and they likely always will. Old traditions always get replaced with new ones over time.
A lifetime marriage contract is no exception and I know that society isn’t ready to deal with issue in 2014, but we will probably have to in the coming decades.
As I said earlier in this article, I believe in staying together for life and I really do think that my girlfriend I will be able to do it. Yet, I am also aware that the world around you and me is changing at a rapid rate. As men in 2014, we can’t just sit around and expect life to stay the same forever.
We have to be stronger than that and open our mind to the reality of change. Throughout the ages, most people have passionately fought change, but it just keeps happening whether we like it or not.
I plan to stick with my girlfriend, but who knows what the world will be like when scientists reverse aging for humans, when AI (Artificial Intelligence) thinks for itself and joins minds with millions of other AI to become billions of times smarter than humans.
All of that is on the horizon and if you want to see it unfolding, I recommend that you watch the entire series of Through the Wormhole (presented by Morgan Freeman).
You may be one of the guys who desperately wants to believe that the world never changes, but it always has and is now changing at a faster pace that ever before.
My advice on dealing with our changing world is to become a man who has purpose in life other than just a woman; to think bigger than just the way of life from people who lived 100s of years ago.
We’re living a different time from that of our parents, their parents and their parents. It is fine to want to stick with one woman for life (I’m going to be doing that now, after having sex with more than 250 women), but it isn’t fine to believe that the world isn’t going to keep changing around you.
If you can’t open your mind up to the changing world around you, then you can expect a lot of disappointment when it does and when your ideas about “how life should be lived” comes crashing down around you. Prepare yourself for change by being open to it, rather than sticking your head in the sand to ignore it and then being a sorry victim of change.
Benefit #2: It Would Keep the Pressure on to Remain Attractive, Loving and Relevant
Many married couples get to a point where they stop worrying so much about making the other person feel happy, proud and excitement to be sharing life with them.
After a while, a high number of those marriages end in divorce or reluctantly remain together “for the sake of the kids.”
However, if a couple knows that it is socially acceptable and legally permissible to walk away from marriage when the 10 year contract is up (without having to go through a messy and costly divorce), it will most-likely put more pressure on both parties to remain attractive, loving and relevant in each others life.
A wife who loves her husband and wants to get the marriage contract renewed will continue putting in the effort to make her husband feel the way he wants to feel in the relationship, and visa versa.
Personally speaking, my girlfriend and I have made sure to envision what our life would be like together in 40 years time. We’ve spent time thinking about how we want our lives to unfold together if we are to die at 70-80 years of age, or if we get to live on indefinitely thanks to breakthroughs in science.
I have a lot of plans for The Modern Man over the next 40 years, but aside from that, she and I have plans about starting and raising a family that sticks together for life. We talk about traveling to places around the world together and eventually with our children.
We currently have a great bunch of friends who are also in committed relationships, are beginning to settle down and who are still enjoying the single life.
We have “dream plans” with a few of our closest friends to hopefully buy land next to each other and have family BBQs and party nights and then grow old together (or live on indefinitely…!).
We are open to the future together and want to approach it together as a couple and then as a family, if and when we decide to have one.
What About the Children?
According to psychologist Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., for a young child, divorce shakes the trust and dependency on his or her parents.
The child begins to wonder, “If my parents can lose love for each other, can they lose love for me?” or “With one parent moving out, what if I lose the other parent too?” Adolescents tend to react in a more aggressive and rebellious way, believing that, “If they can’t be trusted to stay together and take care of the family, then I need to start relying more on myself.”²
That makes sense when talking about a traditional divorce, but with an Expiry Date Marriage, a child would grow up in a society that makes it known that couples can finish their marriage after 10 years. As a result, it won’t come as such a shock to the child and he/she will likely want do the best he/she can to make sure that his parents are happy together.
Growing up, he would know that love is something that needs to be taken care of and that relationships shouldn’t be taken for granted. In my opinion, Expiry Date Marriages would force people to become better at relationships and parenting and it might just be the thing we need to keep relationships together as our lifespans increase.
Personally speaking, if my girlfriend and I start a family in the next few years, I plan on keeping that family together for life. I think it would be a mighty fine achievement to still be happy after 200 years together, even though the world keeps changing around us.
I am continuing down the traditional path of staying with one woman for life and I hope to be a role model for other men who want to do the same. However, I am going to keep my mind open to the possibility that life will continue to change around us. I’m not going to blindly believe that everything will stay the same forever, because culture always changes over time.
A New Idea for a New World?
Cultures have always changed throughout the ages even though many of the people involved in the culture firmly believed that their way of life was the only way.
Change is inevitable and I believe that people’s views about what constitutes marriage and family are beginning to shift, whether we like it or not. With so many divorces happening across the world, it has become clear that something isn’t quite right about the way things are when it comes to relationships between men and women.
If we want better relationships we should look at making changes to the agreement of a relationship between a man and a woman; and maybe a marriage contract with an expiry date is a good place to start.
Here is a summary of the pros and cons of an Expiry Date Marriage:
- Costly, messy and time-consuming divorce proceedings can become a thing of the past.
- A 50/50 split of money and assets will longer be a factor – what you bring into the marriage is what you take out, so women can’t marry men for their money anymore.
- Couples will need to be better at relationships and take care of their love together, rather than taking each other for granted and staying in an unhappy marriage “for the sake of the kids” or because it is shameful or costly to end it.
- Children would grow up knowing that relationships have to be taken care of.
- Some couples may not commit fully to the relationship because they know it is legally simple to exit the marriage.
- Growing up knowing that mom and dad are potentially going to split up in 10 years time may harm the development of some children.
- Couples may feel as though they no longer have to stick with each other through tough times.
- Children may lose faith in the idea of marriage for life.
What Do You Think?
Do you think that couples should be able to cleanly exit a marriage, without having to waste taxpayer money? Or, do you think that couples should be legally, financially and socially punished for ending a marriage?
Facing Up to the Reality of Modern Relationships
Believe me, I am fully aware that most guys do not want to even THINK about the possibility of a relationship breaking up.
So, talking about the concept of Expiry Date Marriages will frighten and worry some guys. However, it is my duty to make sure that guys become strong men who can deal with life, not encourage men to ignore the world around them and walk into failure and disappointment when it all falls apart.
Whether we like it or not, marriages and relationships are breaking up all over the world at an approximate rate of 50%. Ignoring the changing world around you and hoping that it will magically go away is not the solution.
In today’s world, if you want your relationship to stay together and not end in a break up or divorce, you actually have to be good at relationships.
Men in the early 1900s could get away with being bad at relationships because divorce was seen as shameful and sinful, but in today’s world, it is unfortunately seen as acceptable by many and is even made to look “cool” by certain TV drama shows that depict women divorcing a husband and going onto live a fun, sex-filled lifestyle with a “better” man.
Keeping a relationship together in today’s world requires that you actually know what you’re doing and if you need help with that, I recommend that you watch my popular program called, Make Her Love You For Life
1. First, marry a banker. (2003, July, 13). The Observer, Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/books/2003/jul/13/society
2. Pickhardt, C. Ph.D. (2011, December, 19) The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents. Psychology Today. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents