Some people believe that after 7 years in a relationship, a couple will feel the “itch” to move on and find someone new.
Statistically speaking, most marriages that end in divorce do break up at the 7 to 8 year mark, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to keep a relationship together for life.
In the developed world, approximately 50% of marriages do remain together for life, so it is possible.
While it’s true that many of those 50% of marriages are unhappy ones, there are also couples who fall more in love and experience an increasing level of happiness and satisfaction together over time.
In other words, it is possible to be even more in love with each other when you get to the seven year mark.
The way to do that is to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.
Watch this video to understand the 5 stages of a relationship and how to keep a relationship together for life, rather than falling victim to the 7 year itch…
Staying together past the 7 year mark really comes down to your ability to deepen the feelings that you have for each other over time, rather than letting it fade away.
Millions of couples are able to do that and the love literally become stronger, more meaningful and more enjoyable over time.
You may have seen those couples who are still madly in love 30, 40 or 50 years into a relationship or marriage.
That’s what is possible.
The Rules of Relationships Have Changed
A long time ago, a woman had to marry one man and then stick with him for life.
It was shameful to divorce and in America for example, the divorce rate in 1900 was less than 10%.
Times have definitely changed and unfortunately, it’s no longer seem as shameful or wrong for a woman to get divorced.
If a modern man wants to keep a relationship together with a woman for life, he has to be able to deepen her love, respect and attraction for him over time, rather than just taking her for granted and expecting she will stick around because she “has to.”
Women no longer have to stick around and can leave whenever they want.
However, that doesn’t mean that modern relationships are doomed. It is still possible to keep a relationship together for life and remain happy and in love until the end.
As a man, you simply have to be willing to adapt to the modern relationship environment by being a more well rounded man (e.g. you are confident, loving, ambitious, emotionally strong).
It’s only when a guy starts becoming unattractive in a relationship (e.g. he becomes insecure, unloving, lacks ambition and drive, becomes emotionally weak or sensitive) that the relationship begins to fall apart.
Women react to the man’s lead and they will go along with whatever type of relationship dynamic you create.
If you create a relationship dynamic that is stressful based on your insecurities, the woman will go along with that and will gradually lose respect and attraction for you and then fall out of love.
However, if you maintain a relationship dynamic that feels great because you remain confident and become more confident as a man over time, a woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for you will deepen over time.
When Did the Seven Year Itch Become a Popular Idea?
In 1955, Marilyn Monroe starred in a movie entitled The Seven Year Itch.
The basic story revolves around a married man who is struggling with thoughts of walking out on his wife and child to be with a younger woman (played by Marilyn Monroe).
The idea for the “Seven Year Itch” title came from US Census Bureau statistics at the time, which revealed that a divorce was most likely to happen after seven years of marriage.
The most recent statistics available today reveal that the average lifespan of a marriage is now eight years.
Yet, just don’t forget the fact that millions of couples stay together for life and are so happy and in love.
You can have that, even if the spark has died in your relationship or marriage.
Watch this video for more info…
If your woman doesn’t love you at the moment, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get that back.
Love is something that can be brought back to life by way of your actions, behavior and attitude as a man.
When you change, she changes.
She may resist initially because she has been so fed up and tired of putting up a lack of feelings for so long, but she will smile, open up and fall back in love with you again if you just continue on being the new, improved you.
So, don’t fall victim to the idea that a relationship or marriage has to end at 7 or 8 years.
You can keep the spark alive for life.
The Hall Pass Trend
According to a study commissioned by Warner Brothers, the seven year itch has been replaced by what they now refer to as a “three year glitch.”
The three year mark is apparently when they begin taking each other for granted and start feeling the urge to be with someone new.
The Warner Brothers study included 2,000 couples in committed relationships in the UK, to promote the release of their movie, Hall Pass.
The movie revolves around the story of two couples who are bored and unhappy in their marriages.
The wives take the advice of a doctor friend and give their husbands a “hall pass,” which is essentially a week off from marriage wherein they are free to do whatever they want, including having sex with other women.
The term “pink pass” has also recently been coined to describe a wife’s grant of freedom to her husband to have a night out with the guys or go on a sports or hobby related weekend away without her or the rest of the family.
According to the Warner Brothers study, 76% of those surveyed said that “individual space” was extremely important in their relationship and 58% admitted that they regularly go on holiday without their spouse.
Personally speaking, I disagree with the hall pass or pink pass idea.
I believe that if you get married (I recently did after being engaged for only 4 months), you are choosing someone that you love to be around and want to be with for life.
When a man has the skill of being able to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for him over time, the relationship gets better and better over time.
Is the Seven Year Itch in Our Nature?
A number of theories have been put forward over the years, including anthropologist Helen Fisher’s belief that as human beings we might be programmed to be serial monogamists, meaning that by nature we only stay with one woman long enough to raise a child and then move on to the next one.
It’s an interesting theory that’s backed up by her 1980s research data, which was gathered from a study involving 58 human societies from across the world.
Her findings revealed that when a marriage ends in divorce, it tends to happen in or around the fourth year of the relationship.
This discovery ties in well with the theory that as “breeding partners,” a couple would have time to raise a child beyond the most vulnerable stage of life, which is the first four years, before moving on to the next partner to raise another child.
It could be that in Marilyn Monroe’s day, divorce was a much more taboo subject than it is today and therefore it took until the 7th year of marriage before either spouse could no longer fake it and had to make the break.
Yet, just don’t ever forget that couples do stay together for life and remain madly in love.
If the spark dies, it can be reignited.
The relationship or marriage does not have to end up in a break up or divorce.
It can be fixed and made to be even better than it was before.
When the Romance Dies
In the Warner Brothers study, couples said that long working hours and financial problems were the most common causes of stress in a relationship, with other factors such as annoying habits becoming more prevalent the longer a couple stay together.
For the purposes of the study, a “long-term relationship” was more three years of living together and a short-term relationship was defined as being together for less than three years.
Interestingly, in both the long-term and short-term relationships, couples admitted that many of the little habits they found quite endearing in the early stages of the “romance,” eventually became unbearable irritations by around the 36 month mark.
In the same vein, a decline in the amount of quality time spent together, including less frequent sex, was reported to cause increased negative tension in a relationship.
52% of the couples in short term relationships were having sex at least three times per week compared to only 16% of those in relationships of over three years.
55% of the couples in long-term relationships admitted that quality time was something that had to be scheduled into their busy diaries, otherwise it might not happen at all.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person” Mignon McLaughlin, American journalist and author
I agree with that quote.
My wife and I are always falling more in love with each other for new reasons.
It’s a wonderful process and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with her and she feels the same way.
I focus on the fact that at least 50% of marriages stay together for life, rather than getting sucked into the 7 year itch theory.
I believe in love that lasts a lifetime and so should you if you want to retain your confidence in a relationship or marriage.
If you begin to doubt her love and attraction for you, it will cause you to become insecure, which will actually ruin her love and attraction for you.