Jenny McCarthy (Hollywood actress) interviewed me on Sirius XM radio and showed her support for my article.
“I have my headphones on and it’s usually a “do not disturb” thing for me, but if I was a single person, I would have no offense to a guy coming up to me and wanting to talk to me.”
“What a good thing you’re doing Dan. What a great thing you’re doing.”
Michelle Andrews has written an article on MamaMia showing her support for my article: When Did a Man Asking a Woman to Remove Her Headphones Become an Act of War?
“If I’m deeply consumed in music and a man wants to ask me on a date, he should go for it. He has every right to spark a conversation with me and see if I’m interested.”
Joy Pullmann has written an article on The Federalist showing her support for my article: Even Women With Headphones May Want A Man To Chase Them
“Many women love a man who has the balls to ask them out, to plan our interactions, to say affirmatively what he wants in life and go after it. Wimpy pajama boys are a total turn-off. Many, perhaps even most, women would like something in between—strong yet not overpowering, someone who listens. Yet the whiners are telegraphing to men that we want the wimpy end of the spectrum. They need to stop ruining it for all of us.”
“Dan has some great tips.”
Amanda Prestigiacomo has written an article on The Daily Wire showing her support for my article: Feminist Magazine: It’s ‘Sexual Harassment’ To Talk To A Woman Wearing Headphones
“Feminists will not rest until they have successfully turned every last man into an Obama-approved Pajama Boy.
In their latest stunt aimed to neuter men while simultaneously infantilizing women, feminist magazine Bust blogger Patricia Affriol warns all those with a Y chromosome that they mustn’t ever speak to a woman who is wearing headphones.”
But, let’s be honest, if Affriol is anything like the feminists we’ve previously witnessed in media, we’ll soon find a piece penned by her complaining about the lack of male attention she receives while wearing headphones.
Female support via e-mail:
“I just wanted to show some support for you and your team after the infamous headphones article. I’m a married woman from Texas–maybe Australia and Texas are the only places where people still have common sense and women are attracted to confident men! The feminist culture is doing so much harm to both genders, so I’m thankful for guys like you not backing down when faced with overwhelming criticism. Please know that for every person who criticizes you, there are hundreds who support you but just don’t speak up. The insecure, hateful people only sit at their keyboards and anonymously hate you because they have nothing better to do (like a day job), and it makes them feel better about their pathetic selves to try and destroy someone else–especially someone who stands against their perfect little false reality where there are no genders at all. Anyway, keep the faith. Obviously your audience isn’t made up of creepers and rapists, and anyone with half a brain will know that you aren’t encouraging negative behavior. Much love from Texas! J Foley”
“In the wake of all the buzzfeed and Twitter attention, I wanted to give my support for what you do. I’m a woman and read the headphones article…and you were spot on with your advice. I’ve been married for a while now, and seeing the nastiness people, specifically women, were posting scared me. Are women that vicious now? Are men not allowed to be part of the world and do what the hell they want as well? S Lytle”
“Hey Dan, Ben and Stu,
You guys have my support.
Buzzfeed are one of the many prime examples of what is wrong with today’s media. No wonder so many guys are afraid to approach women. Seeing this story break into the news, most guys would believe that ALL women think that way, but it’s just a very small percentage of women, namely the angry feminists.
I just want to say that if it weren’t for you guys I’d have never lost my virginity (did so a month before I was 26) till I was probably in my late 30s or 40s.
Thanks to the Flow, Dating Power, Better than a Bad Boy and Mastery Methods and Mindsets and little bit of 21 Ways to Get a Girlfriend I’ve also developed my own high standards about the type of woman I want. I have a girlfriend now and we’re very happy together.
Thanks again Dan, Ben and Stu. You guys are champs!
Random example of how women show support for me on social media:
The video that April was referring to is, 5 Conversation Mistakes That Instantly Turn Women Off
Okay, now it’s time for the article that is apparently so controversial because I said that it’s okay to talk to women with headphones.
Oh no!! Two people talking to each other! Wooooah….that’s so bad. So shocking. How dare I say that it’s okay for a man to talk to a woman who is wearing headphones.
Tip: The people who wrote negative articles in response to my headphones article were man hating feminists and wimpy guys.
Real women and real men know that there is nothing wrong with men and women talking to each other…even if the conversation starts by one of them asking the other to remove their headphones.
Here’s the article…
How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones
These days, many women walk around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same time.
Yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them.
Even crazy feminists who Tweet or comment that they would punch a guy for talking to them, will pretty much instantly melt and be nice when a confident guy walks up and says hello.
So, don’t believe the insane rants from crazy feminists online.
Women are way nicer in real life than they are on Twitter or in the comments sections of articles.
Here’s the truth…
If a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will usually be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.
Even if a woman isn’t single, she will almost always be nice and say hello if a confident, normal guy comes up and says hello to her.
She’s not going to react in a crazy, insane way like she said she would on Twitter, or in the comments section of an article somewhere online.
She will be nice and friendly, or at least open to the interaction to assess whether or not she should continue talking to the guy.
If the guy is confident, she will naturally feel some attraction for him and open up further to see where the interaction goes.
If the guys is a weirdo or a sleaze, she won’t feel attracted and will naturally close up and want to leave the interaction.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Pretty much every guy out there is not a weirdo or a sleaze.
Most guys are normal, good guys and most women are normal, good women.
So, when a guy walks up to talk to a woman with headphones on, it’s usually a positive and friendly interaction that can lead to a new romance (e.g. they exchange numbers, add each other to social media or have a coffee and take it from there) or a, “Nice to meet you” as they part ways.
Approaching and Talking to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones
Stand in front of her with about 1 to 1.5 meters between you.
Have a confident, easy-going smile and say, “Hey, how’s it going?” to start a conversation with her.
Most women are polite and friendly and will take off their headphones to talk to you at that point, so just start talking and have a conversation with her.
If she hasn’t looked at you or hasn’t noticed you yet, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand.
Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can see it and say, “Hey, how’s it going?”
She most likely won’t hear what you say if she’s listening to music, but it’s just a way of showing her that you’re trying to talk to her.
She will most likely take off her headphones to talk to you when you say, “Hey, how’s it going?”.
If she doesn’t, then just smile, point to her headphones and confidently ask, “Can you take off your headphones for a minute?” as you pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands what you mean.
Then, go ahead and have a conversation with her.
There’s nothing wrong with a man and a woman meeting, having a conversation, feeling a spark of attraction for each other, exchanging phone numbers, going on a date and getting into a relationship.
It’s completely normal and happens every day, all over the world.
For example, in a shopping mall, or shopping street:
Man: [Smile and say in a friendly, easy-going manner manner] Hey – how you doing? I was walking along and saw you with your little headphones on and thought – wow, she’s hot, I have to come over and say hi you. I’m Dan, what’s your name?
Man: [Add in some light humor to get her smiling and create a spark between you] Jessica…let me guess. You were listening to heavy metal music, right?
Woman: [Most likely laughing and saying] No, I was listening to [most likely latest pop music] 🙂
Man: Oh, that’s cool. You had me worried there. I thought you were like a heavy metal girl who likes head banging at concerts.
Woman: [Possibly smiling or laughing].
Man: [If you’re in a shopping mall or city street, you might let her know that you has something else to do besides talk to her, so she understands that you’re not going to stand there talking to her for 30 minutes] Anyway, I’m just out doing a bit of shopping at the moment. How about you?
If it’s clear that a woman is interested in talking to you, keep the conversation going and if she’s not busy at that moment, have a chat for a while before exchanging phone numbers and parting ways.
Man: Anyway, so it’s been good chatting to you, but I’d better get going and do my shopping. Would you like to talk again sometime?
Woman: Sure, that would be nice.
Man: Okay, cool. [Take out your phone]. What’s your number? I’ll give a call sometime to say hi.
Common Mistakes That Guys Make When Approaching Women Who Are Wearing Headphones
1. Approaching in a nervous manner
If you want the interaction to go smoothly and not feel awkward for either of you, make sure that you approach and talk to her in a relaxed, confident manner.
Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence, masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, anxiety), so if you are nervous or anxious, she probably won’t be interested in talking to you.
For example: If a guy asks a girl to take off her headphones and the first words out of his mouth are, “Hi, ummm… I was, ummm… wondering, ummm… sorry to interrupt…how, ummm… are you?” you can guess what will happen next.
Headphones back in and she’ll likely turn up the volume to block him out.
So, be confident for the following reasons:
- Understand that it’s perfectly normal for people to talk to each other.
- Understand that if a woman is single, she will usually be flattered and excited that a cool, confident guy like you is approaching her.
- Understand that most women are friendly and are not the nasty, crazy psychos that they pretend to be on Twitter.
- Understand that if you are being confident, she will automatically feel some attraction for you, which will make her start to like you.
- Understand that if things go well, you might have yourself a new girlfriend and if it doesn’t end up that way, you will have improved your ability to approach and talk to women, which will give you more opportunities to meet the right girl.
- Understand that most women are way easier to pick up than they make themselves out to be. All it usually takes is confidence, a bit of humor a bit of conversation to get a number and get yourself a date.
2. Giving up too easily
Some women wear headphones because they don’t want anyone (not just guys) to speak to them.
So, if you try to talk to a woman and she clearly shows that she’s not interested in talking to you, don’t take it personally.
Sometimes, a woman suffers from social anxiety, isn’t feeling confident, hates her life and would rather be at home alone and so on.
It’s not always your fault.
That said, most women, regardless of what mood they were in before you approached, will almost always light up and enjoy the interaction if you are being confident and friendly while talking to them.
Most of humans are not bad people.
We are inherently good natured, loving, caring people.
There are a few nasty eggs out there, but they are minuscule in comparison to the good eggs.
Most of the women you will meet in life will be nice, friendly and open.
However, here’s what you need to keep in mind to avoid losing confidence…
Sometimes a woman will be interested in talking to a guy, but she won’t immediately pull out her headphones and show interest.
Some women like to test to see how confident a guy is by ignoring his attempts to converse with her and then seeing what he does next.
Does he become nervous and awkward? Does he walk away in shame, or does he remain calm and continue talking to her in a confident, easy-going manner?
If a guy gives up at the first sign of resistance, a woman like her will begin to lose interest because he seems to lack the type of confidence that she looks for in a guy.
So, if you are going to talk to a woman with headphones, just keep in mind that some women will immediately take off their headphones to chat to you, some will make it obvious that they don’t want to be bothered and others might want to talk to you, but first want to see if you will remain confident if she doesn’t immediately begin talking to you.
It’s up to you as the man to remain confident and relaxed, regardless of how the woman might react.
Remember: Sometimes a woman will react in an awkward way because she is social anxious, sometimes she’s not in a good mood and sometimes, she just wants to test your confidence to see if you can handle the heat.
If you can handle her confidence test and she has been finding it difficult to meet a guy who can, then she is going to open up to you and hope that the interaction leads to a phone number exchange or more.
3. Not leading the conversation
You have approached her, so you can’t expect her to be the one making all the conversation when she takes off her headphones.
You’ve got to lead the way and create a relaxed, easy-going conversation between you and her.
4. Sticking to polite or reserved conversation
If a guy gets a woman to take off her headphones and then engages her in a very polite, reserved conversation, she’s probably not going to be enthusiastic about talking to him for too long.
So, make sure that you have the confidence to talk to her and be real, rather than putting on an act of being Mr. Polite or Mr. Nice Guy.
Just let your natural personality and sense of humor come through as you talk to her in a confident, easy going manner, rather than trying to be too polite or reserved.
5. Not including any flirting
Flirting is the most discreet way for a man and a woman to communicate sexual interest in each other, without actually having to say, “Hey, I’m interested in you in a sexual way.”
If a guy doesn’t include any flirting after getting a woman to take off her headphones to talk to him, she will most likely begin to wonder why he is talking to her if he isn’t interested in her in that way.
She might then say, “Nice talking to you. Bye”, put her headphones back in and zone him out.
So, if your intention is to get the woman’s phone number so you can possibly take her on a date, make sure that you attempt to flirt with her and see if she flirts back.
If she flirts back, it usually means that she is interested and is open to getting to know you further.
As you may have noticed, women usually don’t go around actively approaching men in public places or even in bars or clubs.
Women know that is the man’s role to be confident enough to walk over and talk to a woman he finds attractive, so they have a chance to meet.
If a man doesn’t have the confidence to approach, a woman will rarely walk over and talk to him first.
Of course, some women do approach (e.g. in response to a dare by friends, or when very drunk), but most women wait for a guy who has the balls to walk over and start a conversation.
So, don’t ever think that you’re doing a bad thing by approaching and talking to a woman in a confident, easy going way.
Most single women are open to being approached by a confident guy, so that they can have a chance to meet a potential new lover or boyfriend.
The key to talking to a woman who is wearing headphones (or who has her face buried into her smartphone and checking Facebook) is to be confident, relaxed and easy going as you talk to her.
She might be your perfect girl and you and her might enjoy amazing sex, love and a relationship that lasts for life.
If she’s wearing headphones, the only way to find out is to walk over and talk to her.
If you don’t, you might not ever see her again or, she might meet another guy and get into a relationship with him.
So, don’t worry about the insane feminists online who think that men and women should not be allowed to talk to each other.
Walk over, say hi and get something going between you and her.