If you’re having a dry spell with women, it may have been months, maybe even years since you last had some action in the romance department. You may forgotten what it’s like to go out on a date and as for sex…what’s that?
Everyone around you seems to be dating, having loads of sex, falling in love and even getting married. All your friends and colleagues seem to have girlfriends and there never seems to be a shortage of women in their world, even though they are just normal, every day guys.
If you’re going through a dry spell with women, it can sometimes feel like you’re the only one going through it and like there is no way out. Yet, before you give up on yourself and decide that you’re doomed for life when it comes to women, listen up…
The Real Reasons Why a Guy Will Experience a Dry Spell With Women
When you are stuck in a dry spell with women, it can seem like it will never end. The longer the dry spell lasts, the more difficult it becomes for many guys to break free of it because they end up losing so much confidence in themselves around women, which turns attractive women off.
There are many reasons why a guy will experience a drought with women, such as:
1. He is not talking to enough women.
As obvious as this may sound, many guys will avoid approaching and talking to women. They will talk to maybe one or two women over the course of a day (sometimes days), and then they will complain that there are no available women.
2. He is talking to women but not making them feel attraction for him.
Talking to women but acting like the “best friend”, the “serious businessman” or the “local clown” is not going to make them feel attraction for him. If a guy’s behavior is neutral or unattractive when he is talking to a woman, he is more than likely to go home alone because then she will not feel attracted to him and therefore will not want to take things further.
As Dan Bacon (founder of The Modern Man) explains in the video below, the main reason why guys fail with women is that they don’t know how to trigger feeling of sexual attraction inside of women when they meet them.
Rather than turning a woman on, guys who experience long dry spells with women are usually the type to seek to be “liked” by women for being a good guy. However, as you will discover by reading the rest of this article, just being a nice, likeable guy isn’t what makes a woman wet and horny to have sex with you.
3. He is trying to impress women and hoping to get lucky.
Some guys will put on a big act trying to impress a woman by pretending to be more important than they really are. This guy hopes that his act will impress her so much that she will give him a chance. Unfortunately, most women can see through this act and he comes across looking insecure and like a fake, which is a big turn off.
4. He is looking in the wrong places.
Some guys will hang out in all the wrong places hoping that an attractive and available woman will cross their path. He will hang out with his married friends or with all his single guy friends, but he will never go out to any of the places where single women can be found.
He might also spend loads of time trying to compete with 1,000s of other guys for the attention of one woman on an online dating site, rather than having a 1-on-1 conversation with a woman in a social environment like a bar, party or speed dating event.
5. He is trying to be liked for being nice, rather than making women want him by being attractive.
Many guys have absolutely no idea how to approach a woman in a way that will make her feel attraction. Without a clue of what to do, most guys resort to being a typical nice guy who essentially kisses a woman’s ass and hopes that she takes pity on him and gives him a chance.
While there is nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, it isn’t the thing that makes a woman wet. If a guy is trying to get a woman into a sexual relationship, he has to start by making her feel attraction and then anything else about him (e.g. he’s a nice guy) is seen as a welcome bonus to her.
Watch this video by Dan Bacon to understand why being too nice to a woman will often lead to rejection…
As you will discover from the video above, there is nothing wrong with being a good guy, but you also have to say and do the types of things that will trigger a woman’s sexual attraction for you. Without that, you will just be another typical nice guy who is hoping to be liked for being a good guy because you have no idea how to turn a woman on during a conversation.
6. He can’t keep a conversation going long enough for a woman to have a chance to get to know him.
His lack of conversation skills with women mean that most of the attractive women he speaks to give up after 10 seconds to a minute of talking to him. The woman quickly realizes that he’s just another guy who doesn’t understand what women are really attracted to in men and is simply trying to be liked.
Why Some Guys Go For Months or Years Without Having Sex or a Relationship With a New Woman
Inevitably, the longer a guy goes without sex or a date the harder it becomes to break the cycle. Sometimes a guy will stop trying to meet women and will even avoid going out altogether.
If he makes the effort to go out and to approach women, feelings of insecurity begin to creep in and every time he is with a beautiful, available woman he begins to behave anxiously.
This comes across as nervousness and lack of self confidence; and women do not feel attraction for nervous men who lack confidence in themselves. Of course this has a negative effect on him and he begins to lose faith in himself and in his abilities to attract a woman.
The fear of failure overwhelms him and his interactions with women become stilted and tense. Because he is so invested in the outcome, he comes across as being too serious or like he’s trying too hard. The conversation becomes too serious, his body language appears to be too intense and his flirting too overbearing and fake.
Unfortunately, just as one success can build on another, the same applies to failure. If he does not succeed once, then twice, the third time it’s inevitable, unless he can break the cycle.
What guys experiencing a dry spell with women don’t realize is that it’s their beliefs and insecurities about themselves that are holding them back.
Traits That Make a Guy Unattractive to Women
Contrary to what the media; the magazines, the movies or the TV sitcoms will have you believe, getting a woman to feel attraction for you has nothing to do with the car you drive, the shirt or cologne you are wearing, or the style of your shoes. Women are attracted to men who display qualities of an alpha male – confidence, self assurance and who have a purpose in life.
On the other hand, there are guys who behave the opposite to alpha males and women do not feel attraction for them.
Here are some of the things about these men that turn women off:
1. Lacking self esteem.
A guy who thinks badly of himself is definitely a turn off because most women don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t think he is good enough.
2. Lacking confidence.
A guy lacking confidence in himself and in his abilities is unattractive to women. Lack of self confidence comes across as insecurity and nervousness and no woman wants to spend her time bolstering a guy’s ego, nor does she want to feel that she is doing him a favor by being with him.
Women instinctively know that this is a challenging world that we live in and they feel as though they would be better off with a guy who is confident so he can lead the way to a better life, rather than being with a guy who is nervous and will likely lean on her to lead him and protect him.
3. Being mentally and emotionally weaker than the woman.
A woman doesn’t want to feel like she is the dominant one in the relationship. She wants to be with a man who can make her feel safe, protected and like a real woman; she wants a man to be mentally and emotionally strong enough to support her and challenge her.
A guy who comes across as being weak, who always puts a woman on a pedestal and allows himself to be dominated by her, may be tolerated for a short time but will inevitably be discarded when an alpha male comes along.
4. Hoping to be chosen by a woman for looking good, having money, wearing nice clothes, etc.
Some guys will wait around hoping that the woman will approach him, especially if he puts in a lot of effort to look fashionable, physically appealing or rich.
He will complain about his dry spell with women but he will never make a move on the woman, or women, he feels attracted to; instead he will wait, in vain, to be approached.
Single women are open to being approached and if a guy is not confident enough to go after what he wants, she will interpret this as him probably not being assertive enough to go after goals in his life either.
Breaking the Cycle
Waiting at home and hoping that your dry spell with women will somehow miraculously disappear is a waste of time. You’ve got to improve your ability to attract women when you meet them.
If you don’t do that, you can only ever rely on getting lucky, but with “getting lucky” there is no guarantee that the woman will stick around when the initial novelty of being with you begins to wear off.
To be successful with women in today’s world, a man needs to be able to actively attract women when he meets them and then deepen the love, respect and attraction that a woman feels over time. Without those skills, he will get rejected by most women he approaches and dumped by most or all of the women he gets into a relationship with…