If your girlfriend’s parents don’t like you, don’t rush to blame yourself for all the problems.
Sometimes, a woman’s parents are the type who always looking for any excuse to cause problems, or they simply don’t know how to deal with people who are a bit different from them.
Should You Move On or Fix the Problem?
You’re in a great relationship with a woman, but there’s a problem. You can tell by the way her parents behave, things they’ve said directly to you or comments they’ve made to your girlfriend about you, that they just don’t seem to like you.
While it’s possible that you’ve given them good reason not to like you, you may also be finding it difficult to click with them for reasons that just aren’t your fault. For instance, some parents have certain prejudices or beliefs and, for whatever reason, they will have an almost immediate dislike of any guys who gets romantically involved with “their little girl.”
To them, no man will EVER be good enough for her. In situations like that, there is often little you will be able to do to change their mindset. So, is the situation hopeless to the point where you should move on and forget about her? It all depends on how you handle it.
Common Mistakes That Guys Make When Dealing With Annoying Parents
If her parents’ dislike of you is putting a big strain on your relationship with your woman, you may be thinking about breaking up with her even though it’s the last thing you want to do.
Before you cut off your relationship, consider the following common mistakes that some guys make which only cause these types of situations to worsen. Then, think about how you would handle the situation better.
Mistake #1 – Reacting Badly to Their Hostility
When faced with initial coldness or open hostility from a girlfriend’s parents, some guys react with negative, angry or rude behavior and end up making things worse. These men would do better to remember the old saying about “killing them with kindness,” by being cordial, respectful and by not reacting in a rude or emotional way to their taunts and tests.
When his girlfriend sees that he is continuing to be nice and respectful, despite the bad behavior of her parents, he will appear more mature and desirable, while the behavior of her parents will seem more irrational and unwarranted to her (and possibly to themselves).
Mistake # 2 – Putting up With it For Too Long
Now, the fact is that there are some people out there who are just bad people. They are “bad eggs,” rotten and slimy to their core. When faced with people who won’t change their bad behavior no matter what, a guy should not stick around to put up with it for too long.
A big mistake that guys make in their relationships with women, is putting up with bad behavior and treatment from a girlfriend or her parents for too long. No self-respecting guy will stick around if people don’t show him respect.
If you can easily attract new women, you don’t need to hold onto such a rotten egg of a situation with a problematic woman. If the people involved don’t bend over backwards to show you respect, you can just throw the relationship in the bin and make a fresh start with a new woman.
By sticking around being the nice guy who tries to “kill them with kindness” for years on end, you are simply giving those rotten egg kind of people what they want. They want a victim to play with; someone to pick on so they feel better about themselves. You don’t need that.
You deserve better than that and you will only be treated better if you show some respect to yourself by requesting they change. If they don’t change, you move on. They will either buckle under the pressure of you leaving their daughter or they will happily wait for the next victim to play with.
Either way, don’t sit around waiting for them to change if you’re only approach is going to be Mr. Nice and Innocent. You need to make a stand.
Mistake #3 – Whining and Complaining
Since they are feeling hurt by the poor manners of the girlfriend’s parents, some guys will whine and complain to their girlfriend, like a little boy who needs help from mommy. Expecting her to “fix” the situation, he will sulk, complain and generally act like anything other than a man.
A real man faces his problems directly and fixes them with assertiveness, manners and a respectful approach, but he never looks to women to help him like his mommy did when he was a boy. He can take care of things himself. He commands respect and he gets it.
Mistake #4 – Choosing Sides
Feeling powerless to fix the situation, a lot of guys will make the mistake of asking their girlfriend to choose between them and her parents. That is unfair, unnecessary and completely ineffective.
If her parents are absolutely in the wrong, she may eventually have to make that choice, but it shouldn’t be at the insistence of her boyfriend because she may decide to choose her parents over him in the end.
As their daughter, she is naturally going to have some level of love and attachment to her parents, so asking her to choose sides just isn’t fair to her as a person.
Although she might be upset by their behavior, she will usually realize that she may be unable to change their beliefs and approach to her romantic relationships. What she does about her parents should be a decision that she comes to on her own.
Mistake #5 – Refusing Social Interaction with Her Parents
Couples who are in a committed relationship will likely be invited to various family functions and social gatherings that will often include the woman’s parents. When these invitations are extended, some guys will continually refuse to attend in order to avoid facing another unpleasant encounter with his girlfriend’s parents.
A stronger man knows that throughout his relationship, he and his woman may come across strains from a variety of external sources (e.g. family, friends, work, money, etc.) and the immature, unreasonable or annoying behavior of her parents is just another thing that needs to be handled responsibly.
It’s not something he needs to hide from. He is not going to be pulled into the games of the parents and if they show him disrespect, he will handle the situation like a real man.
If her parents are foolish enough to cause disagreements or otherwise show unnecessary aggression towards him in front of others and he doesn’t “take the bait,” but instead shows his maturity, intelligence and strength, he will be looked favorably upon by the other guests.
Her parents, on the other hand, will appear shallow, childish and unreasonable to those who witnessed their bad behavior.
Mistake #6 – Flunking “The Father’s Test”
As the head of his household and protector of his family, many fathers will appear subtly aggressive, hostile and distant when they meet their daughter’s new boyfriend. To these fathers, they are simply testing the new man in their daughter’s life to see if he is strong and mature enough to be considered as another of her protectors (in addition to him of course).
If the new boyfriend is unable to hold his ground and behave like a man under the pressure, he will have failed what I call, “The Father’s Test.” On the other hand, if her father sees her boyfriend’s maturity and strength in the face of his aggression, he will welcome him into his family and they will become friends and allies.
Handling Difficult Situations with Maturity
Throughout your life, you will likely come across many situations where unreasonable or immature people create unnecessary problems. As a strong man, you know that you can rise above these dilemmas and easily come out as the winner by not getting drawn into pointless disagreements or battles of will.
Leading with your strength, maturity and intelligence, you will be a man that a woman can look up to and fall deeper and deeper in love with. Others will see that you are a man of strength and maturity and they will naturally show you the respect you deserve.