Getting a woman to want to have sex with you is one of the most natural and easy things to do as a man.

For the purpose of this article, I am going to focus on getting a woman to have sex with you on the first night. Before I do that though, I want to begin by showing you some proof that most women are open to having sex on the first night or first date.


  • Singles in America Survey found that 55% of singles have sex on the first date.
  • Durex Condoms survey in Norway found that 70% of respondents had experienced a one-night stand.
  • Student Beans survey in the UK found that 51% of men and women admitted to having experienced a one-night stand.
  • The National Survey on Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles found that the average amount of men that a woman had sex with before marriage has almost doubled in the last 10 years from an average of 3.7 to now 7.7.
  • Personally speaking, I’ve had sex with more than 250 women and about 100 of those women have come from one night stands where I met the woman at a bar, club or during the day.

Casual sex happens a lot more than it used to and getting laid is easier than it has ever been. You really should embrace the fact that most women are open to having casual sex, rather than assuming that it’s only you who secretly wants to have sex or get laid. Even though they might not admit it to others when asked, most women are open to having sex on the first night, first date or at the very least on the second date.

The next time you meet a woman with the intention of having sex with her, remember the statistics I’ve just shown you. Don’t assume that she is an innocent woman would never have sex on the first night or first date. Statistically speaking, most of the women you will meet have already done it are happy to do it again!

Now, let’s look at the 5 things you must do to get a woman to have sex with you on the first night.

1. Make her feel sexually attracted to you

Attraction (noun): A quality that evokes interest, liking, or desire.
Sexual attraction: Attraction on the basis of sexual desire.

Most of the guys who struggle to get laid are those who focus on trying to get women to like them, rather than getting women to feel sexually attracted to them. For example: A guy will talk to a woman in a nice, polite way, laugh at her jokes and generally try to make her see that he is a good, trustworthy guy. He then hopes that she will somehow become interested in having sex with him on the basis of liking him as a person.

Yet, that’s just not how it works…

What makes a woman feel the desire for sex is sexual attraction and then the build up of sexual tension between herself and the man. If a woman doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you, she won’t want to have sex with you. She might like you as a person, but she won’t be interested in having sex with you. If you attempt to show any sexual interest or make any moves on her while she isn’t feeling sexually attracted to you, she will almost always reject you.

If you want to get laid for real, you must focus on making the woman feel intense feelings of sexual attraction for you. If you only make a woman feel mild levels of sexual attraction for you and instead focus most of your efforts on showing her that you’re a nice guy, she will usually play hard to get and make you work to earn a chance with her. However, when you make women feel intense sexual attraction for you (don’t worry, it’s easy), she will instantly open herself up to the opportunity to have sex with you or at least go on a date with you and then have sex.

2. Build sexual tension

Sexual tension: An exciting feeling that occurs when a man and woman feel sexual attraction for each other, but the escalation to sex is being delayed by them, the environment or circumstance (e.g. they work together, she is out partying with her friends and doesn’t want to look too easy in front of her friends by hooking up with him quickly, he is already in a relationship with another girl, etc).

To get laid with a woman of your choosing, you first need to make her feel sexually attracted to you and then build up the sexual tension between you to the point where she wants to release it with kissing and sex. You can build up boiling hot sexual tension between you and a woman within 3-5 minutes of meeting her, or take it slow and build it up over a few days or weeks (e.g. if you work with her).

When you build up sexual tension correctly, a woman not only wants to have sex with you, but she also feels like she needs to have sex with you. However, if there isn’t much or any sexual tension present between you, the idea of having sex won’t feel very appealing. If you do happen to have sex, it will feel awkward, forced and even boring to her.

While the physical sensation of sliding into her will feel great for both of you, it won’t be the type of amazing, emotionally charged sex that happens when a man and a woman release their built up sexual tension.

When lots of sexual tension is present, a woman will often throw herself at a man by kissing him first or by making it completely obvious that she wants to go home and have sex with him. If she can’t have sex with him that night due to circumstances (e.g. they are at a formal work function), she will begin hitting on him and making it very clear that she wants something sexual to happen between them.

It’s really cool how it works…

3. Make her feel sexy in your eyes

According to the Dove international survey on beauty, 96% of women do not consider themselves to be beautiful. Crazy, but true. When a modern woman compares herself to the Photoshopped images of women in magazine advertisements or to the sexy women in porn, she often feels insecure about her beauty in comparison to those women.

Almost all women you meet will act like they are confident and as though they believe they are beautiful, but most women (96%) secretly feel insecure about their looks and sexiness to men. These days, a big part of getting laid is to ensure that you make the woman feel sexy in your eyes.

If you don’t make a woman feel sexy, her insecurity about her looks may cause her to play hard to get with you. Why? She will need to see that you really want her and aren’t just pretending to be interested in her to get laid. When a woman plays hard to get, many guys will then kill the sexual tension by becoming desperate or too keen to show the woman that he likes her. Women are not attracted to desperation and neediness in guys, especially when a woman begins pulling back her interest.

To avoid a woman playing hard to get with you, you’ve got to get things right from the start by making her feel sexy in your eyes. Don’t make her feel the need to play games. Just be real about how you feel from the moment you meet her. By “feel” I don’t mean that you “like” her as a person, but that you think she is sexy. If you want to get laid by women consistently, you’ve got to make them feel sexy.

If you have already attracted the woman properly (see the first part of this report), she will be excited that you find her sexy. However, if you haven’t attracted her, she won’t care if you find her sexy; you’ll just be another guy who wants her, but can’t have her.

Example: If a woman looks sex in the dress that she’s wearing, don’t be vague with her by saying, “Oh, that’s a nice dress. Where did you buy it?” or “You look nice in that dress.” Be direct, honest and make it absolutely clear that you find her sexy. Either say to her, “I just wanted to tell you – you look so sexy in that dress” or “By the way, I think you’re very sexy.” Say it with relaxed confidence and a confident, relaxed, loving smile.

In almost all cases, the woman will SMILE, her eyes will light up with excitement and she will feel happy and confident around you. Why? Well, apart from the fact that 96% of women secretly don’t think they are beautiful, many women worry that if you take them home to have sex, you won’t be very attracted to them so the sex will feel awkward and forced. When she is feeling insecure like that, a woman may become concerned that you will simply have sex with her once and then say goodbye. She will then play hard to get to see if you really, really like her.

Even if it is only going to be a one night stand, a woman still wants to feel like she is sexy in your eyes. She wants to feel good about herself and enjoy the hook up, rather than worrying and feeling insecure the whole time.

4. Show her that she would feel comfortable being alone with you

If a woman gets the sense that a guy is nervous or tense about the idea of getting sexual with her, it will turn her off. She wants to feel that if she got alone with you, she would feel safe and comfortable and you would be confident and relaxed. She wants to feel as though it would be fun to get sexual with you and that she would really enjoy it.

Additionally, if a woman feels as though a guy is needy and is aiming to get something from her (i.e. sex so he can brag to his friends or a girlfriend so he can finally feel good about himself) rather than aiming to share something with her, it will turn her off.

When a feels turned on, comfortable around you and is also enjoying the sexual tension between you, she will naturally feel aroused by the idea of getting sexual with you. However, if your interaction style makesa woman feel bored, tense or uncomfortable, she definitely won’t be in a hurry to get sexual with you any time soon.

5. Kiss her

Kissing changes an interaction from being friendly, or from being a couple of strangers who are simply flirting with each other, to you and her getting physical and becoming open to actually having sex.

Flirting is very important to create and build sexual tension, but unless you act on the flirting by making a move to get physical with her, the tension will often fizzle out and go nowhere.

Flirting (verb): Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for fun rather than with serious intentions.

Before a woman feels comfortable to leave a venue/place with you and go home for sex, she will usually want to kiss you first. That way, it makes sense as to why you are leaving together instead of exchanging numbers or adding each other to Facebook to talk later.

The majority (about 80%) of women I’ve pulled from bars and nightclubs instantly became interested in the idea of leaving with me after we’d kissed. Prior to that, it was just a fun, flirty interaction with a build up of sexual tension.

If you attempt to get a woman to leave a bar or party to have sex with you prior to kissing her, she will usually resist and ask why you feel the need to leave so soon. Kissing instantly creates a private understanding between you that sex is pretty much going to happen, as long as you play your cards right.

By the way…

If you would like to learn exactly what I say and do when I approach and meet women with the intention of having sex, I recommend that you read my book The Flow.

I’ve used The Flow to have sex with more than 250 women, before recently using it to get into an amazing relationship with my perfect woman. I’ve also helped 1,000s of guys to get laid, get a girlfriend and enjoy their choice of women by teaching them The Flow.

The Flow is jam packed with examples of what to say and do to ensure that you get laid and have your choice of women. All of the examples provided in The Flow have been thoroughly tested and proven to work by me and by the 100s of clients I’ve taught in person (taking them into bars and clubs to pick up women).

The Flow is natural, authentic and makes women feel sexually attracted to you right away. It automatically builds up boiling hot sexual tension between you and a woman to the point where she feels an urgent need to have sex with you, or at least kiss you. This is a power that you really can have over women and I hope that you give this a try.


From this day onward, you are able to make women feel intense attraction for you and instantly build up the sexual tension so much that the woman either makes a move on you (e.g. kisses or hugs you) or makes it completely obvious that she wants to have sex with you.

Can you imagine that happening in your interactions with women? Well, that will be completely normal for you from now on, if you will just decide try The Flow now.

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