1. Make her feel sexually attracted to you
If a woman doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you, she won’t want to be in a sexual relationship with you.
She might want to be your friend, but without sexual attraction she won’t have much or any desire to be your girlfriend or lover.
Sexual attraction is what makes a woman want to have sex with you, which then makes her yearn to be your girlfriend.
Being nice or friendly with a woman might make her like you as a person, but it won’t make her want to be in a sexual relationship with you.
Without a strong feeling of sexual attraction, you will either be:
- A friend to her: While you are a woman’s friend, she isn’t obligated to be loyal to you and not sleep with other guys. She will continue having sex and falling in love with other guys with whom she is sexually attracted to, even if it hurts you to see it.
- An extra in the background: When you watch a Hollywood movie, do you spend a lot of time thinking about the random people in the background or do you focus on the main characters? The main guy that a woman will be focused on in her life is the guy who makes her feel the most amount of sexual attraction. If you can’t make her feel that way, you will simply be an extra in the background or a random guy that she can easily forget.
When you are a Friend or an Extra in the background, any attempts to tell her how you feel or advance the relationship will backfire unless you first focus on making her feel attracted to you.
2. Don’t Ever Act Like a Friend Who Isn’t Interested in Sex
Watch this video to understand why…
Many guys make the mistake of acting like they want to be “friends” with a woman because they are worried about being too forward, turning the woman off or ruining the friendship.
Secretly, the guy wants to have sex with her, but he puts on an act of being an innocent, friendly guy who is only interested in talking to her or hanging out with her.
Then, when he witnesses another guy who shows his sexual and romantic interest in her immediately, he will often label that guy as a jerk or a sleaze.
He will wonder why she would let herself be treated in that way. “I’m so nice to her. I’m a great guy. Why is she interested in that guy? All he seems to be interested in is a sexual relationship with her! At least I care about her!”
He assumes that the woman is making a mistake or that the sleazy guy/jerk is taking advantage of her. A guy like that will often conclude that it must be because the sleaze/jerk is better looking that him, but it’s not that.
Here is how it actually works…
If a woman gets the sense that a guy only wants to be friends with her or is too scared to do anything other than be an extra in the background of her life, she will usually just accept it and leave it at that.
She will then have a sexual, loving relationship with a guy who makes her feel sexual attraction and who isn’t afraid to guide her towards kissing, sex and a relationship.
- When meeting a woman for the first time: She doesn’t need to get to know you as a “friend” before she will be open to kissing and having sex with you. The most important thing that she needs to feel is sexual attraction, which will then cause her try and notice things that she likes you about as a guy so she can have a reason (other than sexual attraction) to be your lover or girlfriend.
- When interacting with a woman you already know: She doesn’t need to be your friend first to be comfortable about the idea of having sex with you. She only needs to feel sexually attracted to you. Then, the fact that you are a good guy is just a bonus to her.
When meeting a woman for the first time or interacting with a woman they already know, many guys are worried about showing their sexual interest and will say things like:
- “I don’t want her thinking that I don’t respect her.”
- “I want her to know that she is special to me.”
- “I want her to know that I’m interested in a relationship, not just sex. I’m not a sleaze.”
- “I’m worried about ruining our friendship.”
- “I’m worried that if I tell her I like her, she will reject me and I will then be embarrassed and have ruined my opportunity with her.”
- “My plan is to be as close to her as possible as a friend and hopefully she will develop feelings for me over time.”
While a guy like that is wasting time by thinking in that way, another guy simply comes along, makes her feel sexual attraction and then escalates to kissing, sex and a relationship. The Friend or Extra is then left wondering what just happened.
3. Don’t tell her that you have feelings for her unless she is VERY attracted to you
Telling a woman that you have feelings for her is fine, as long as she is very attracted to you.
- Mild levels of attraction: If she only feels mild levels of attraction for you, she won’t be excited about the fact that you like her or have “feelings” for her. She may thank you for compliment and may possibly be open to the idea of going on a date with you, but she won’t be very excited about it.
- Friendly attraction: If she only sees as a friend and doesn’t have strong sexual feelings for you, it will feel wrong to her when she is suddenly forced to consider having a sexual relationship with you after you confess your feelings.
Let me tell you a quick story here…
I once helped a client who had met a beautiful young woman and fell in love with her at first sight.
When they met, she seemed to really enjoy talking to him and they got along very well. He thought that she would become his girlfriend (and maybe even his wife), but he was devastated to find out a few weeks later that she didn’t feel the same way…at all.
Why didn’t she feel the same way?
The entire time he interacted with her, he had behaved like a friend, but secretly, he wanted to have sex with her and make her his girlfriend. He didn’t know how to make a woman feel sexual attraction and instead just showed how “interested” he was in her.
At night, he would often fall asleep thinking about how great it would be to have sex with her and be her boyfriend. The more he fantasied about her, the more worried he became because he wasn’t sure if she felt the same way.
She was always happy to talk to him and even seemed to like him more than other girls did. According to what he was reading on the Internet, her behavior meant she liked him too! He’d also read online that he should confess his feelings for her…
So, he decided to tell her how he felt.
To his horror and disappointment, she looked sad to hear his confession from him and said something along the lines of, “Thank you…I like you too…you’re very special to me, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
He was heartbroken, but also very confused.
He wondered whether her comment of “I like you too” meant that she really wanted to be with him, but wasn’t sure if it would ruin their relationship.
Not knowing what else to do, he began to confess his feelings even more via text and e-mail. He bought her gifts, sent her sweet texts and clicked like on everything she posted online.
Yet, the more he did for her, the further she pulled away. Eventually, she stopped responding to anything he sent her online and no longer answered his calls. Whenever he saw her in person, she tried to avoid him or always seemed to be in a hurry to go somewhere else.
Feeling confused about what to do, he signed up for a phone coaching session with me and I taught him the attraction techniques from my eBook The Flow.
Following my advice, he stopped acting like a hopeless romantic and instead began to make her feel intense sexual attraction for him.
The next time her saw her, he went from being ignored by her to having her walk right up to him and smile.
She was literally standing right in front of him face to face, looking him in the eyes and about 20cm away from his face.
It was similar to what’s happening the photo below…
He built up the sexual tension between them (using the attraction techniques that you can learn from The Flow) and they then kissed right then and there.
After that, they began a sexual relationship and he emailed me about two weeks later to tell me that he was now her boyfriend.
Without sexual attraction, a woman simply won’t be interested in a sexual relationship with a guy.
It’s as simple as that. When you make a woman feel sexually attracted to you, the change in her behavior and availability happens instantly. It’s really cool how it works…
4. Build up the sexual tension between you
Sexual tension: An exciting feeling that occurs when a man and woman feel sexual attraction for each other, but the escalation to sex is being delayed by them, the environment or circumstance (e.g. they work together, she is out partying with her friends and doesn’t want to look too easy in front of her friends by hooking up with him quickly, he is already in a relationship with another girl, etc).
To make a woman want to be with you sexually, you first need to make her feel sexually attracted to you and you then build the sexual tension between you.
You can build up boiling hot sexual tension between you and a woman during 1-5 minutes of interaction, or take it slow and build it up over a few days or weeks (e.g. if you work with her, attend university together, etc).
When you build up sexual tension correctly, the woman not only wants to have sex with you, but feels like she needs to have sex with you to release the built up sexual tension.
In the case of my client (mentioned in the previous section), the woman felt an intense desire to kiss him to release the built up sexual tension between them.
If there isn’t any sexual tension present between you and a woman, the idea of having sex won’t feel very appealing.
If you do happen to have sex, it will feel awkward, forced and even boring to her. While the physical sensation of sliding into her will feel great for both of you, it won’t be the type of amazing, emotionally charged sex that happens when a man and a woman release their built up sexual tension.
5. Release the sexual tension with kissing and sex
You can only build up sexual tension to a certain point before it runs out of steam. If you don’t release the built up tension through kissing and sex, the woman will either:
- Lose interest when she realizes that you’re too afraid to make a move.
- Think that you’re just playing with her. In most cases, she will then hook up with another guy to make you jealous, or at least brag about other guys who like her to see if it makes you insecure. This is her way of testing whether you like her and are simply afraid to make a move.
Women fantasize and dream about meeting a guy who has the ability to build up the sexual tension between them and then have the confidence to release it via kissing and sex.
Most guys can’t provide that experience for a woman and instead kill the sexual tension by confessing their feelings for the woman before she’s even properly attracted.
If you can give women the exciting experience of feeling attracted, having the tension build up and then releasing it via kissing and sex, you will be a man in demand. Women literally fight over guys who have that type of skill with women.
By the way…
If you’d like to learn how to guide a woman through the process of building up sexual tension and then releasing it with kissing and sex, I have written a step-by-step book about it called The Flow.
I have personally used The Flow to have sex with more than 250 women, before recently getting into a relationship with the most amazing, beautiful woman I’ve ever met.
This is her…
Attracting and picking up women for sex is so damn easy.
If you will just make the decision to read The Flow, I will teach you so many powerful ways to naturally attract women that always work.
It’s so easy to do that the next time you interact a woman, you will be able to make her feel sexually attracted and turned on by you in ways that she cannot control.
From now on, you will notice how attracted women are to you and they will make it completely obvious that they want to be with you sexually.
If you’d like to have the same type of power that I have enjoyed with women for so many years, I welcome you to use my secrets for attracting and picking up women for sex and relationships.