Men will often do this with a woman that they weren’t initially attracted to, but she grew on him.
She liked him way more than he liked her, but he gave her a chance after having sex with her or because he couldn’t attract the kind of women that he really wanted.
She then put up with his bad treatment and when the moment was right to get revenge (e.g. he was going through a tough time in life, he wanted her more than she wanted him), she dumped him and got her revenge.
It’s a pretty common story.
So, don’t feel bad if you took her for granted and now want her back more than anything.
A lot of guys are going through the exact same thing as you and here is how they can get her back…
As you will learn from the video above, you haven’t done the worst thing in the world by taking her for granted.
It was a mistake and you can get her back even though you may have hurt her feelings for a while during the relationship.
Questions to Ask Yourself at This Point
Before you begin the exciting process of getting her back, you should be completely honest with yourself about whether you will commit to her for life and never feel the need to cheat on her or leave her for another woman.
To find out if she is truly the right woman for you, answer the following questions as you’re reading along:
1. Do I secretly think that I’d cheat on her later on to satisfy my need to be with women?
Sometimes, a guy will lack confidence in his ability to attract the type of women he really wants (e.g. beautiful, intelligent, down to Earth, sexy), so he settles into a relationship with a woman that he perceives as being less attractive.
Deep down, he likely knows that she’s probably not the woman he wants to be with for life, but because he doesn’t have the confidence to get himself a hot girlfriend, he just remains in a relationship with her.
He might then say to himself, “I don’t really need a beautiful woman. My girlfriend is okay. She’s a nice person and she really loves me. That’s good enough for me.”
However, when a guy settles into a relationship with a woman he doesn’t really feel attracted to, eventually his feelings will come through via his actions (e.g. he starts to take his woman for granted to the point where she breaks up with him).
When that happens, he might say, “I took her for granted and now I want her back more than anything,” because the idea of being alone and unwanted is unbearable to him.
He might then try all sorts of ways to convince his ex to take him back.
For example: He might…
- Beg and plead with her to forgive him.
- Apologize to her over and over again.
- Promise her that he’ll never take her for granted again if she gives him another chance.
- Be extra nice to her in the hopes that it will make up for the way he treated her before.
- Promise to do whatever she wants.
- Offer to take her on vacations.
- Take her out on expensive dinner dates.
- Buy her gifts.
- Help her pay her rent, bills or expenses.
Although she might take advantage of his generosity to get some revenge on him, it’s not going to make her feel the way that she really wants to feel.
She’s going to assume that he’s just doing that to get another chance with her, but he is still going to break up with her again one day.
Meanwhile, despite his efforts to get her back, he may be secretly thinking, “What if I can get a woman who is hotter than her? Will I actually stay with her for life? Do I only want her back for now, but I will break up with her later? Who cares…I’ve got to get her back to stop myself from feeling this emotional pain. I need to do this.”
So, before you do anything else, stop a moment and ask yourself…
If another beautiful woman came into your life today and wanted to have sex with you and be your girlfriend, would you still be saying, “I want my ex back more than anything,” or would you begin to forget about her and hook up with the new woman instead?
If your answer is, “Of course I would hook up with the hot woman, who wouldn’t?” chances are, that you don’t really want your ex back, but just miss being in a relationship.
On the other hand, if you wouldn’t want anything to do with the new woman, then your motivation is pure and you are doing the right thing by getting her back.
Another question to ask yourself is…
2. Do I want her back because I can’t be bothered picking up new women, or because I believe that she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with?
Sometimes a guy might be saying, “I took my ex for granted and now I want her back more than anything,” but secretly he just wants her back because it feels comfortable.
For example: Some of the reasons why a guy will try to get his ex back when he doesn’t really believe she’s the one for him are:
- They share the bills, which makes it easier to survive and be able to still spend money on things that he enjoys.
- They share the chores, which makes it easier to keep the house clean.
- He doesn’t have to go to the movies or restaurants alone, or as the third wheel with a friend and his girlfriend or wife.
- It’s easier to stay in a relationship that’s mediocre than going out and putting in the effort to attract another woman.
So, before you rush off to get your ex back, ask yourself…
Do I really love her and feel that there is a future for us, or am I just too scared/lazy to go out and find the kind of woman I really want to be with for life?
Am I really willing to put in the effort to change the things about myself that have been turning her off (i.e. taking her for granted), or am I just going to fall back into my old behavior when I get her back?
Am I willing to create a new relationship dynamic between her and myself based on mutual love and respect, or am I just settling for her because I don’t believe I can do any better?
If you can honestly say that she’s the one for you, then it’s very important that when you interact with her from now on (e.g. via text or e-mail, on social media, on a phone call, or in person) you focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
You need to show her, by the way you talk, think, behave, interact with her and react to what she’s saying and doing, that you’re no longer the guy who took her for granted.
You’re more mature now.
You are a much better man and you really do deserve another chance with her.
When she can see that you have understood where you went wrong and have already made changes and adjustments to your behavior and the way you treat her (e.g. you’re more loving, considerate and appreciative towards her), she will begin to feel some respect for again.
Yet, don’t make the classic mistake that many guys make in your situation and go overboard with being extra nice, polite, generous and attentive.
Remain being the cool, confident guy that you are, but just be nicer and more considerate of her feelings.
The next question to ask yourself is…
3. Do I really think that I’d treat her well for life, or am I just trying to convince myself that I would treat her well for life to avoid the current pain of losing her?
Missing her and wanting her back more than anything can make you think that you would be an amazing boyfriend or husband to her for life.
Yet, that’s based on how you feel now that it hurts so much without her in your life.
What happens when you get her back? Will you still feel as motivated to treat her well? Would you treat her well for life?
Sometimes, a guy might be holding onto the desire to be with his ex woman because:
- He’s afraid that other high quality women just won’t be interested in him or put up with his bad behavior for life, so he wants to keep her because he knows that she has a lot of patience.
- Now that she’s no longer around, he’s idealizing the relationship with his ex, even though it was often filled with fighting, arguments and unhappiness.
- He’s emotionally sensitive and cannot deal with the pain of being broken up.
If a guy only wants his ex back because he’s afraid of facing the pain of being without her or having to go out and find another woman, he’s wasting his potential as a man.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
Don’t settle for a woman you don’t really feel attracted to and love because you don’t believe you can do better.
You can have your pick of women if you want to.
You simply need to have the confidence and self-belief to approach them, attract them and open them up to sex and love.
When you know how to spark a woman’s feelings of respect and attraction, you can have your choice of women.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
So, don’t settle for a relationship where you become someone that you don’t like very much (e.g. selfish, a bully, lazy, bored and disinterested).
It’s just not worth it.
If She’s Really the One For You, Be Sure to Avoid Making These Mistakes While Getting Her Back
Let’s assume that you’re 100% sure that even though you took your ex for granted, you really do still love her, know she’s the one for you and want her back more than anything.
The good news is that it’s a lot easier to get her back than you may think.
Yet, there are some mistakes you should avoid making if you want to be successful.
- Doing so much to show her you care that you end up seeming desperate, which then turns her off.
Naturally, when a guy loses his woman because he took her for granted, he may feel upset and even angry at himself for letting it get to that point.
He might think to himself, “How could you do that to her? You had a beautiful, loving woman and you just went and stuffed everything up! You’re such an idiot. How could you treat her the way you did? What got into you man? She deserved better than that and you’ll deserve what you get if she decides that she never wants to forgive you or see you again. You screwed up big time. If you want her back, you’d damn well better show her just how much you care for her. Whatever it takes, it’s up to you to show her that you care and that you will never do anything to hurt her ever again.”
He might then decide that the best way to show her that he cares, is he starts to do things for her that he hopes will convince her.
As mentioned earlier in the article, he might do things like…
- Buy her thoughtful gifts, like a piece of jewelry that she always wanted.
- Run errands for her to make her life easier.
- Pay some of her bills or rent.
- Do her grocery shopping for her.
- Help her out with studies or chores around her house.
- Spend all his time calling her, visiting her and doing whatever she wants him to do.
- Writing her poems, love letters and long e-mails explaining how he feels.
- Buying her flowers and other romantic gifts to show how much he cares.
Yet, when a guy goes overboard in that way, rather than convince his ex that he’s changed and that he will treat her well if she gives him another chance, it actually makes her lose even more respect and attraction for him. Why?
Essentially, women are turned off by emotional weakness in men.
They hate it when a guy can’t maintain control of his emotions and ends up acting like a lost boy who needs the approval of a woman (like a mother figure) to feel good about himself again.
So, when a guy is following her around like a puppy dog and doing anything that she wants to please her, rather than make her think, “My ex really regrets taking me for granted. Look at how well he’s treating me now. I’m sure that he won’t make that mistake again. We should get back together again,” she may just think, “I know he took me for granted and that wasn’t nice. I don’t ever want to go through that again. However, I also don’t want to be with a guy who isn’t emotionally mature enough to face his problems head on in a confident, calm and controlled manner. He might think that he’s pleasing me by showing me how much he cares, but his desperation is a turn off. I want a man I can look up to, respect and feel attracted to, not one that I feel pity for. I want a real man and my ex is clearly not that guy right now.”
By the way…
If you’ve already gone a bit overboard trying to show her how much you care (e.g. buying her gifts, taking care of her expenses, being available to her 24/7), don’t worry about it.
You can fix it by simply making some changes to the way that you interact with her from now on.
For example: Focus on making her laugh, smile and feel the thrill of being around you again, rather than buying her gifts or running around after her trying to convince her that you care.
- Losing touch with the cool, confident side of yourself that she was attracted to in the first place.
When a guy loses his woman because he took her for granted, he might then think that he has to become super nice, super agreeable, polite and attentive to convince her that he’s changed.
He might then stop displaying the qualities that attracted her to him in the first place (e.g. the fact that he was a little bit hard to get, didn’t always agree with everything she had to say) and he instead becomes a “Yes” man.
That’s not what a woman wants.
Even though a woman doesn’t want a guy who treats her badly and disregards her feelings, she definitely doesn’t want to be with a guy who is an emotional wimp either.
Women are instinctively attracted to guys who are a bit of a challenge.
Women rarely admit it when asked in public, but a guy who is easy to push around and manipulate is a sexual turn off for most women.
So, if you took her for granted and now want her back more than anything, don’t think you have to roll over and become her puppy dog.
Instead, what you need to do is mix in some of your original behavior that attracted her to you in the first place, as well as be kind, loving and treat her well from now on.
You then need to work on getting her to forgive and trust you again.
When you get her to truly forgive you (it’s easy), it then allows her to start looking at the new you, rather than seeing you as the guy she dumped.
Her walls come down and she feels that she can trust you to be the man she wants you to be.
From there, you need to build on her feelings for you and prove to her that the guy who took her for granted is gone forever and in his place is a man she can feel safe with, trust, look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love.