When a guy asks a woman out and she says that she’s not looking for a relationship, it might be because:
- She doesn’t feel enough sexual attraction for him and only wants to be friends (e.g. he’s too nervous, he lacks confidence, he’s too nice, etc).
- She doesn’t a serious relationship right now and would prefer a guy who only wants to have sex or casually date (i.e. have sex, be boyfriend and girlfriend) for a while.
- She’s already seeing one or more guys and wants to keep things casual rather than getting into an exclusive relationship, which will result in her having to dump the other guys.
- She has had her heart broken recently or too many times and isn’t yet ready to fall in love and commit to a serious relationship.
- She’s too busy with work or university to have to worry about devoting a lot of time to a serious relationship.
The most common of all reasons why a woman will say, “I’m not looking for a relationship” is that she just doesn’t feel enough attraction for him.
Watch this video to understand the reality that most women live in and why they end up wishing that they could meet a guy who is more of a challenge to win over…
As you will discover by watching the video above, most guys are willing to have sex and even a relationship with a woman simply based on her appearance.
Yet, the same rule doesn’t apply to women.
Unless a guy is really good looking, rich or famous, he will need to proactively spark a woman’s feelings of attraction for him by displaying some of the personality traits that naturally attract women (e.g. confidence, charisma, masculine vibe, charm, humor, etc).
Most women are passive when it comes to dating and simply wait for a guy to turn them on and then guide her through the sexual seduction process.
Watch this to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works and how you can use it to make a want to have a relationship with you…
As you will discover from the video above, there can even be a huge difference in attractiveness between two identical male twins.
Why? A woman’s attraction for a man is mostly based on non-physical things (e.g. confidence, charisma, masculine vibe, etc). While it is true that some women will only accept a male model with loads of money, the majority of women in this world are open to feeling to attracted to all different types of guys.
Women Don’t Always Say What They Really Mean
When a woman says that she is not looking for a relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she won’t get into a relationship tomorrow if she meets a guy who attracts her and turns her on.
So, why does she say that she doesn’t want a relationship?
She simply wants to avoid any confrontation with the guy or give him clues about what he could change about himself to attract her.
For example: She could be direct and say, “Look, you’re a nice guy, but if you were more confident and actually made me feel girly in response to your masculinity, I would be interested, but you’re too nice and you lack the kind of balls that I want a guy to have. You’re too much of a softy for me. Grow some balls first please.”
Yet, if she did that, the guy might get angry or he might try to act like he was more confident and ballsy to attract her.
That’s not what she wants though.
A woman doesn’t want to have to teach a guy how to be a confident, attractive man. She wants a ready-made man who instantly allows her to relax into being a feminine woman (i.e. girly, free to be emotional, slightly submissive, etc) around him.
If a guy doesn’t have what it takes to make her feel the way that she really wants to feel, she will simply reject him and remain open to meet other guys instead.
For example: A woman might outwardly complain, “I really just want to meet a nice guy who will treat me like a princess. Why can’t I meet a guy like that? Men are such jerks!”
Yet, when a nice guy approaches her (let’s call him Guy#1) and behaves like the perfect gentleman, she might smile politely and talk to him, but when he attempts to kiss her or initiate a sexual relationship with her, she will pull away, appear shocked and say something like, “You’re a really nice guy, but I’m not looking for a relationship.”
Niceness doesn’t create sexual attraction or turn a woman on. It simply makes her feel “friendly” feelings, which isn’t enough to justify a kiss, a date or a sexual relationship.
Watch this video to understand further…
As you will discover from the video above, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to women at all, but if your real aim is to have a sexual, romantic relationship with her, you must first establish mutual feelings of sexual attraction.
Yes, you are attracted to her, but have you done enough to make her feel attracted and turned on by you? Are you expecting her to want to be in a relationship with you because you’re a nice guy or a good guy?
That’s not enough.
You have to first make her feel sexually attracted to you and when that is established, she will then appreciate the fact that you are a good guy and will see that as a very welcome bonus.
However, trying to get a woman into a relationship simply based on niceness or a friendly approach just doesn’t cut it.
So, to be very clear here…
When a woman says she’s not looking for a relationship, what she usually means is that she’s simply not interested in having a relationship with that particular guy, because he’s not making her feel enough (or any) sexual attraction.
He may be doing everything he thinks she wants him to do, (e.g. treating her like a princess), but because he’s not creating a sexual spark between them, so when he brings up the idea of him and her having a relationship, she flatly rejects him.
Yet, a few minutes later another guy (let’s call him Guy#2) may approach her and before long, they begin kissing, leave the venue together or exchange numbers and start dating immediately.
Even though a few minutes earlier she told Guy#1, “I’m not looking for a relationship,” she had trouble saying “Yes!” to a date with Guy #2, or even kissing him and having sex with him on the first night or first date.
Guy#2 made her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with a man (i.e. attracted and turned on, in addition to treating her nicely). He created a spark between them, connected with her and that then made her want to be in a relationship with him.
4 Mistakes That Can Lead to Her Saying, “I’m Not Looking For a Relationship Right Now”
Attracting women into sexual relationships is very easy when you follow the correct dating procedure (i.e. attract her, connect with her, escalate to kissing and sex).
However, when a guy makes one or more of the following mistakes, dating becomes a nightmare full of rejection, confusion and heartache…
1. Sharing his feelings with a woman before she is even properly attracted to him.
Most guys instantly feel attracted to a woman’s physical appearance, and in most cases, that attraction is enough for him to want to have sex with her and possibly even start a relationship with her.
So, if a woman that he is attracted to happens to be nice to him, he might say something like, “I really like you. You’re so different from all the other women I’ve met” or “You’re really special to me. I want you to know that I have feelings for you. Do you have feelings for me?” and he may even hint at wanting to be her boyfriend, or ask her what she thinks of having a relationship with him.
Why do guys share their feelings with a woman who isn’t even properly attracted yet?
Most single guys have no idea how to make women feel attracted to them, so when an attractive women is nice to them, they get all excited and immediately begin to imagine having a relationship with her, having sex with her, falling in love and maybe even living happily ever after.
The guy gets excited because he feels as though he is getting lucky (i.e. scoring a woman without even having to properly attract her first), but in most cases, a woman will reject a guy who shares his feelings for her before she is properly attracted to him.
When she says, “Sorry, I’m not looking for a relationship right now” he will feel crushed.
All those excited nights that he couldn’t fall asleep because he was imagining being with her, all come crashing down into a heap of rejection.
She might add, “I like you as a friend and I don’t want to ruin that. Can we just be friends?”
It’s a horrible experience to go through for a guy, especially when he really feels like he was doing the right thing by sharing his feelings for her.
Yet, instead of pleasing her, this Hollywood movie approach makes a woman feel uncomfortable and turned off. Why?
Women hate it when guys don’t know how to make them feel attracted and turned on. It’s one of the 3 things that many attractive women hate about most single guys…
Most guys completely overlook the fact that women want to feel attracted and turned on too.
Women are sexual beings just like we are, so when a guy expects a woman to give him a chance because he’s got “feelings” for her, she will feel annoyed, misunderstood and will reject him.
If she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, she might say something like, “I’m not looking for a serious relationship at the moment” or “You’re nice, but I think we’d better off as friends.”
So, when is the right time to tell a woman that you have feelings for her?
Generally speaking, you should wait until after you’ve had sex with her. It’s not 1900 anymore where a man had to court a woman for months or years before they finally lost their virginity on the wedding night.
In today’s world, most relationships start with sex and after that, the man and woman can then decide if they want to keep seeing each other casually or get into an exclusive, committed relationship.
2. Hoping that if he is a good friend to her, she will then want him as a boyfriend.
Some guys make the mistake of putting on an act of being a friendly guy who only wants to be “friends” with a woman that they secretly like, because they don’t want to come across as being too forward or appear not to be a nice guy.
Then, when he “makes his move” and tries to become romantic with her, the woman responds by saying something like, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” or, “I’m not looking for a relationship.”
What she really means by that comment is that he hasn’t been saying or doing anything to make her feel sexually attracted to him, so the knowledge that he’s looking for something more, only makes her feel awkward around him.
Some guys think that just because a woman “likes” him as a person, she also feels sexually attracted to him. Yet, there is a huge difference between a woman liking a guy and feeling sexually attracted to him.
A woman can easily like many different guys as a friend without feeling sexually attracted or wanting to be in a relationship with any of them.
3. Hoping that if he does whatever she wants, she will be so impressed by his generosity that she’ll want to be in a relationship with him.
When a guy doesn’t know how to make a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on, he will sometimes hope that if he can just do whatever she wants him to do, she will then be impressed and “give him a chance” with her.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
When a man becomes a doormat for a woman to walk all over, she loses respect for him and as a result, she is unable to feel sexually attracted to him as well.
Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, assertiveness, etc) and repelled by the weakness (e.g. insecurity, low-self esteem, wimpiness, etc).
If a beautiful woman perceives a guy as being weaker than her, she will usually reject him by saying she’s not looking for a relationship.
I say “beautiful woman” in the sentence above, because many unattractive women will accept a weaker man because they are insecure about their ability to keep a confident man in a relationship.
However, if you’re like most guys on this planet, you’d rather have an attractive woman than be stuck in a relationship with an unattractive woman that you’re not proud of and aren’t interested in having sex with.
All that said, there’s nothing wrong with doing what a woman wants at times, as long as you aren’t letting her push you around in the hopes that she “likes” you.
You can be a kind, good man, but just don’t be a pushover.
4. Thinking that her attraction and love can be bought.
It’s normal for a guy to want to buy a woman a drink, or if they’re going out on a date, to pay for dinner.
However, the mistake many guys make, is to assume that if they shower a woman with things (e.g. expensive dinners, gifts, trips, etc), she will be impressed and want to be his girlfriend.
Although some women will enjoy this type of treatment (and may even exploit the guy to get as much out of him as they can), most women won’t be so easily bought.
There’s nothing wrong with buying a woman dinner or paying for a drink, but as long as you’re not going overboard with those things to hopefully get her to “like” you enough to give you a chance.
Most modern women earn their own money and don’t need a guy to prove that he has the ability to shower them with gifts and support them for life.
These days, most women make their decision on who to get into a relationship with based on how much sexual attraction the guy makes her feel.
If you can just focus your attention on triggering a woman’s attraction for you by displaying some of the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women (e.g. confidence, charisma, humor, masculine vibe, etc), you will laugh at how easy it is to get women into sexual relationships with you.
You won’t be hearing, “I’m not looking for a relationship” and will instead be hearing, “When can I come over to your place?” or “I miss you! I want to see you.”
When You Make a Woman Feel the Way That She Wants to Feel Around a Guy, She Will Naturally Want to Have a Relationship With You
Most women are bored to death with the dating options that they get to choose from.
It’s the same old thing over and over again.
Guy meets her > Instantly wants to be with her because she looks good > Tries to impress her by being really nice > She rejects him because she’s not feeling attracted.
Over and over again.
She then has to say, “You’re really nice, but I’m not interested in a relationship.”
What she really means is that she’s tired of being hit on by guys in the same old, boring way.
A woman dreams of being approached by a guy who can attract her and turn her on, connect with her and then be a bit of a challenge to win over.
She wants to feel lucky that you are choosing her, rather than feeling as though you can’t really attract other women and are only focused on her because you have no other options with quality women like her.