Yes, women do like to be pursued, but they only want to be pursued by guys that they feel attracted to.
For example: If you meet a woman and you are confident, charming and make her laugh and enjoy talking to you, then she’s going to feel attracted to you.
Then, when you pursue her because you are attracted to her too, she is going to welcome the pursuit because the attraction is mutual.
However, if you meet a woman and you are nervous, too polite and essentially putting on an act of being an even nicer guy than you really are (in the hope that she “likes” you as a person), then she’s not going to feel attracted to you.
She might like you as a person and think you’re a nice guy, but because you haven’t said or done anything to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you, she won’t be interested in being pursued by you.
If you pursue her, she is going to feel annoyed because it is clear that you feel attracted to her, but she only sees you as a friend or random guy that she has met.
Women hate it when a guy expects to be able to date her even though he hasn’t done anything to make her feel attracted or turned on. All he has done is be nice to her, be friendly and is now expecting to get to date her and have sex with her based on that.
If you want a woman to welcome your pursuit and say, “Yes” when you ask her out or gladly have a first kiss with you, then you must start out by making her feeling attracted and turned on by you.
Don’t expect women to want to be with you just because you’re a good guy.
That’s not how it works.
Do you know how to make a woman feel attracted to you when you interact with her in person?
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, you can proactively trigger a woman’s feelings of attraction for you when you talk to her on the phone or interact with her in person.
When a woman feels attracted to you, she will then become open and willing to be pursued by you.
However, just make sure that you’re not too easy.
Some women like prefer guys who are a bit of a challenge to win over and here is why…
As you will discover from the video above, it’s very easy for a woman to attract guys for sex or a relationship.
All she really has to do is say “Yes” or “No” to the many guys who will be interested in her at any given point in her life.
Yet, that gets boring after a while.
She doesn’t want to be in the position of power all the time. She wants to be able to secure herself a guy who could easily have other women, but he will choose her if she is attractive enough and impresses him enough when they get to know each other.
Don’t Expect Women to Think, Behave and Act Like We Men Do
Do you ever feel confused when you try to understand why women think, behave and act in the ways they do?
Does it seem to you as though women play games with men by sending out mixed signals?
For example: Sometimes a woman will be responsive and friendly to you, but if then show interest in her, she will go cold and start to ignore you.
Other times, she might seem keen to meet up with you for a date, but when you attempt to arrange it, she says that she’s busy or isn’t looking for a relationship right now.
Luckily, there are specific reasons why women do that and once you understand it, you will then know how to stop her feeling like she needs to play games with you.
Watch this video and I’ll give you 7 examples of what initially seems like “strange” behavior from women, but turns out to be completely understandable if you can understand why women do it…
As you will discover from the video above, women aren’t as strange and weird as most guys think they are.
They are very specific reasons why women think, behave and act in the ways that they do.
As a man, one of the best decisions you will ever make in life is to stop fighting against the differences between men and women and simply accept that women really are different to us.
Women have specific reasons for behaving in the ways that they do and when you can learn to love and accept women as they are rather than expecting them to act like we do, your life will get a whole lot easier and more enjoyable from then on.
Mistakes That Guys Make When Pursuing a Woman
Most women do want to be pursued to see that the guy actually likes them and to see how interested he really is (i.e. is he just trying to get her interested to boost his ego, is he only interested in sex, etc).
So, there is nothing wrong with pursuing a woman, but if you want things to flow smoothly from one step to the next, I recommend that you avoid these rookie mistakes…
1. Being too keen too quickly.
It’s great to show interest in a woman, but you need to maintain your cool…especially if she is attractive.
If the woman that you like is attractive, then pretty much every guy she meets will be willing to have sex with her (at least once) and many of those guys will also be interested in a relationship…just based on her appearance!
Most guys are willing to bang any half-decent woman, regardless of what her personality is like, what she does for a living, how smart she is and so on.
This is why women prefer guys who are a bit of a challenge to win over, compared to guys who immediately like her 100% just because she looks good.
What a woman wants is for you to make her feel attracted to you (i.e. display some of the personality traits that naturally attract women, such as confidence, charisma, charm, humor, etc), show your interest in her, but don’t be 100% sold on her until she fully impresses you and wins you over.
Some guys are so eager to get laid or get a girlfriend (with any half-decent or pretty woman they meet), that they immediately become super keen and try to show the woman that they are ready for sex, relationship or even marriage with her.
Other guys don’t want to offer any challenge because he wants to show the woman how much he likes her and wouldn’t want to be “mean” by making her have to impress him a little.
From his perspective, he wants to show her how nice of a guy he is because he thinks that it will trick her into wanting to be in a relationship with him.
Yet, that’s not how a woman’s attraction for a man works. Here’s why…
As you will discover from the video above, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman.
However, niceness is not what turns a woman on and makes her feel sexually attracted to a guy. Women only appreciate niceness from a guy that they are attracted to.
You’ve got to make sure that you first establish the woman’s attraction for you and when you’ve done that, she will then see your nice behavior as charming and exciting.
Yet, if all you are offering a woman is nice behavior, she is simply going to see you as a nice guy, a friend, a nobody, an ass-kissing or a just another random, forgettable guy that she has met in her life.
So, make sure that you approach things the right way.
If you meet a woman and are really keen on her immediately without even doing much (or anything) to turn her on, she will either reject you or lead you on by showing interest one minute and indifference the next.
Some women enjoy leading guys on by pretending to be interested when they aren’t. Women do this to boost their self-esteem by having loads of guys interested in them at any given time.
However, the guys that they actually sleep with or get into a relationship with are almost always those who properly attract them, offer a bit of a challenge and then move the interaction forward to kissing and sex.
2. Pursuing her relentlessly, even though she isn’t attracted.
Some guys grow up never being taught how to properly attract a woman and get her into a sexual relationship.
Guys like that often base their ideas of how to get a girlfriend on what they see in Hollywood movies.
For example: The hopeless romantic guy has a huge crush on a girl and he pursues her for the first half of the movie. She keeps rejecting him and is happy in her relationship with a jerk or a bad boy.
Then, the hopeless romantic nice guy saves the day, saves the world or saves the girl and she falls head over heels in love with him.
That’s not how women respond in the real world…and we rarely have a chance to save the world like movie characters do.
In the real world, women hate it when guys pursue them despite the fact that mutual attraction has not been established.
It’s one of the 3 things that attractive women hate about many single men…
As you will discover from the video above, it’s very easy for women to attract men for sex or a relationship because a man’s attraction to a woman is primarily based on her physical appearance.
If she looks good, most guys would be willing to bang her and many of those guys would also be interested in a relationship.
The same rule doesn’t apply for women.
Most women (not all) are mostly attracted to the non-physical traits about men (e.g. confidence, charisma, charm, humor, masculine vibe, etc), so to make her feel attracted, a guy needs to actively display some of those traits when he interacts with her.
If a man meets a woman and he’s only being nice, friendly and polite when talking to her, then she might like him as a person, but she’s not going to be feeling attracted and turned on by his approach.
If he then begins to pursue her relentlessly because he feels attracted to her, she will roll her eyes and feel annoyed that yet another clueless guy is trying to hook up with her based on making her feel nice, friendly feelings.
If you want a woman to welcome your pursuit, you must ensure that the attraction is mutual. You can’t expect an attractive woman to enjoy being pursued by guys that aren’t even making her feel turned on or attracted.
3. Expressing his feelings too soon.
A woman only wants to know if you have “feelings” for her after you have made her have feelings for you.
Feelings begin with attraction and then begin to branch out into lust, love and yearning. So, when a guy has feelings for a woman, it’s clear that he is attracted to her and is beginning to fall for her.
In most cases, the best time to tell a woman that you have feelings for her is sometime after (e.g. a few minutes, a few hours, a few days) you’ve had sex with her.
Why? These days, most relationships start with sex and the man and woman then decide if they want to be with each other in a committed relationship after that.
For example: A study in the USA found that 55% of couples had sex on their first date and a European study found that 70% of women admitted to having had a one night stand before.
It’s fine to wait 2-3 dates before you have sex with a woman if that’s what you want, but just hold off on telling her that you have “feelings” for her prior to that.
The only exception is when the woman is really shy and insecure about her attractiveness and appeal to you. In that case, it’s fine to say, “Hey – I just want you to know that I like you more than just a friend.”
In most cases though, when a guy declares his feelings for a woman too soon, he will scare her off if she hasn’t yet decided whether or not she wants anything more than a friendship with him.
4. Asking her if she likes him.
If a guy asks a woman if she likes him, it immediately demonstrates a lack of confidence and self-esteem, which is unattractive to women.
Women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness, determination to succeed, etc) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. insecurity, nervousness, low self-esteem, wimpiness, etc).
So, the best approach to use is to simply make the woman feel attracted to you. When a woman is attracted to you, she will like you. It’s as simple as that.
5. Hiding behind text messages.
These days, so many guys make the mistake of getting a woman’s phone number or adding her to Facebook, only to then hide behind messages for weeks or months at a time.
If you don’t get her on a phone call and arrange a time to meet up in person, she will usually lose interest very quickly and begin to ignore your text pursuit.
For example: A guy recently e-mailed me and said…
“Last weekend there was a music festival here in [edited out name of city for privacy] and a girl friend of mine had one of her mates come along. She lives several hours away from here.
Anyway, we really along well, had great conversations and shared jokes and a good time. Towards the end of the night they both had to leave as she had to drive back to work very early. I wasn’t going to do the same as I wanted to enjoy the rest of the festival. We gave each other a kiss goodbye and finished off great!
Within 10 minutes since leaving, she then sends me a friend request on Facebook, which I took about an hour to accept, just not too appear eager.
We messaged each other like crazy, flirted a lot, and definitely connected. Anyway, fast forward to today, things have started to fizzle out a bit. I feel I’ve been having to start the conversations all the time.
Initially she was quick to reply and I’d give sporadic ones to not appear needy. Now, after more than these past 24 hours, she hasn’t started conversation as I would’ve liked so I decided to send her something last night. Waiting for her reply at this moment at it is 2pm already. My question, should I always be trying to start messaging conversations? Does it not make me look needy and her rather uninterested?”
Can you see where that guy is messing things up?
He’s over-thinking things.
He’s acting like he’s not needy, when he actually is. If it wasn’t needy, he would relax and realize that people have a life and don’t always have the time to be lying in bed messaging back and forth. She might have something to do that day (e.g. go see her family, go to the gym, catch up with friends, or even catch up with a guy she is dating).
Prior to having sex with a woman, you’re pretty much just another guy that she’s given her number to. Unless you get to that part of the relationship, you can be easily replaced by another guy, unless she is the type of girl who doesn’t have many options with guys and focusses only on you.
In the example above, what the guy needed to do was simply message her back and forth for a while the first night if he likes texting so much (personally, I wouldn’t have even messaged her) and then transition to get her phone number so he can call her up during the week.
Giving her a space of a couple of days after the first meeting would have allowed her to miss him and look forward to the call. Since she lives far away from him, he’s probably not going to be able to get her out on a date immediately, so it’s fine to wait 2-3 days to call her.
When he called her, he would need to respark the attraction (e.g. be confident, get her laughing and smiling) and then try to arrange a time for them to meet in person within the next week or so.
Since she lives several hours away from him, the date with either happen in his city, her city or somewhere half way between. It doesn’t really matter where the date happens, but an in-person date is what needs to happen, not 100s of messages on Facebook.
You can only keep things interesting for a short while when all you are doing is messaging a new woman that you’ve met. Getting on a phone call and arranging a time to meet in person again is how things need to move forward.
Additionally, the guy mentioned that she was flirting and showing lots of interest via message. So, after exchanging many messages with him and not even getting a phone call, she might have been thinking, “Is this guy really interested in me? Is he afraid to call me because he thinks I will reject his offer to meet up?”
When she starts to think like that, she will usually stop messaging and wait for him to ask for her phone number or call her up if he already has it.
So, if you are pursing a woman, make sure that you don’t waste time hiding behind texts.
This kind of behavior makes women wonder if the guy has nothing else to do with his life; after all a guy who has purpose and is going somewhere in his life wouldn’t have the time to keep texting and phoning her all the time.
How to Pursue a Woman
Here are the basic guidelines of how to pursue a woman:
- Make her feel attracted to you.
- Create a unique connection between you and her.
- Be a bit of a challenge for her to win over (when you first talk to her).
- Get her contact details.
- Follow her up until you get her out on a date.
- Have sex with her.
After you’ve had sex with a woman, the pursuit can then stop. She will then begin to pursue and want to see you again because you’ve already had sex with her.